I didn't expect to get so many reviews. I am happy with all of your
responses. This is very different from writing my LotR fic but it is nice
to do though.
Nicole: I'm continuing, I hope you like this chapter.
Kliewer: You think it's good? Thank you, I wrote more. ;)
Willow: Happy you liked the start, I don't know, I always like Sirius better even though Remus is a close second for me. Hope you like the chapter.
Laerwen: So you really think I should continue, huh, never thought I would get reviews though. I am happy about it of course.
Nexus: I'm keeping it up as long as you review I'll write.
The Great One: What's confusing? Did I mess something up? Let me know ok so I can clarify.
Y2J-HBK: I'm feeling fine thanks, but I'll take your word. I hope you like this update.
Heather: Happy you liked the start, hope you like this chapter as well.
Aquiaineq: Thanks for letting e know what you think, I really appreciate it.
Porphyrophobic Grape: I put longer paragraphs in like you suggested, I hope you like it. You are right though, writing is trial and error and I can only do my best.
Yoshi-fan2003: Thanks for the review, was this update soon enough?
Abigail Nicole: First I want to thank you for your honest opinion. I have no problem with criticism as long as it has a basis and you pointed out a lot of things. JK is better than I am, she is the mother of HP after all. I tried to slow things down a bit in this chapter, can you tell the difference? I also went deeper into the Sirius thing, I hope you like it. I am happy you thought I stuck to the characters and plot lines. That is my goal, I don't want to take it all out of character. Please let me know if I do. Yeah, I know Musicgrl she mailed me last night. OotP took me 7 hours to read, you must be a fast reader to have done it in 5. Wow, look at this, it is so long. There is no need to apologise, it's not like you were wrong.
Angie: Yes, I will be continuing. Glad you though it had promise.
Brave goat: Thank you, hope you like this chapter as well.
Demon-Child: You live up to your name, I really thought you hated it but thankfully you were just playing. I know it wasn't the greatest but there is always room for improvement. Let me know what you think about this chapter.
DISCLAIMER: Not mine but JK Rowling's.
Of course, what he wished for he didn't get. Without the occlumency lesson this summer Harry was still pulled into Voldemort's thoughts through his dreams. Even though he wouldn't act on them as stupidly as he had done with his vision of Sirius now he knew it could be fake.
This time the vision seemed far from fake though. He was standing on the sidelines of what seemed like a gloomy dungeon of some sort, while Voldemort was standing in the middle.
"After your unforgivable failure of recovering the prophecy, you have not only been stupid enough to be captured but you also gave away your cover. Now there are none in the Ministry who you can manipulate. What do you have to say for yourself Lucius?"
Harry watched as the blond-haired Death Eater fell on his knees. "Forgive me My Lord for I did not know. It was Potter, he misled us all."
"Crucio" Voldemort's cold voice ended Malfoy's tirade. The man's body convulsed with the pain that seeped through his body and Harry got a little nauseous at watching this particular scene. Finally the curse was lifted from Malfoy and the man sank back to the floor, breathing heavily.
"Potter, yes, Potter has been able to foil my plans more than once. But that still is no reason for your failure. There were a dozen of you and you were all beaten by children. Children! No you cannot use Potter as an excuse for this."
Malfoy seemed to understand that he was in for it. "Yes My Lord, I understand. I must thank you for getting me out of Azkaban, even without the Dementors it is an unhappy place."
"I will need you in this time to come." Voldemort's voice sounded calm but also a weird sort of happy and this concerned Harry more than anything else. A happy Voldemort usually resulted into bad things.
Voldemort looked at the circle of Death Eaters around him. "I will need you all. For too long has the magical world been ruled by blundering fools. For too long have the Mudbloods and Muggle-lovers opposed those who know the truth. Pure blood means everything in this world."
He was silent and immediately a cheer rang through the dungeon. Voldemort raised his hand for silence and his command was complied to at once.
"We have lost the advantage we had last year, my renewed presence has now become common knowledge and our plans to get rid of Potter and that fool Dumbledore have failed. Now is the time to show them our strength. We will continue where we left off nearly fifteen years ago and spread chaos once again."
Harry's insides clenched as he realised what they were talking about, they were going to start attacking again.
Then a woman stepped forwards and Harry growled when he recognised the woman who had killed his godfather, the woman he had wanted to kill. Bellatrix Lestrange.
"Milord, where will we start? What can we do to help your noble cause?" She bowed low as she spoke and never dared to look in the cruel wizard's eyes.
The red eyes narrowed a little when she spoke out of place but he didn't curse her, for once Harry was disappointed at that. He wanted this woman to suffer as much as she had made him suffer, as much as she had made her cousin suffer.
Stopping his own thoughts Harry realised he was acting like Voldemort himself at that moment and felt sick with himself. He started to pay attention to what was being said again and hope he would be able to wake up soon.
"You" said Voldemort "You will start attacking targets of my choosing but not yet, we will have to plan this carefully for I want Potter to suffer."
A smile came on Voldemort's face. "We will hit him where it hurts the most, his heart. We will need to find out more about the boy and those he cares about."
Malfoy crawled towards the centre of the circle again and held his head bowed low as he spoke. "My Lord, I can help you with obtaining this information. My son, Draco, hates Potter with a vengeance and would gladly spy for you. Help you figure out who to strike first."
For a second Voldemort thought about this and nodded curtly. "Very well Lucius, inform your son of what he will do for me. But I will hold you responsible for his failures. Take this as a warning."
Before Malfoy knew what was happening he was hit with another Cruciatus and Harry felt sick to his stomach. Voldemort wanted to hurt the people he cared about.
He could feel the glee come off the dark wizard and his scar was burning and throbbing at the same time. "No!" he yelled, even though he knew he wouldn't be heard. "I won't let you Voldemort, I won't."
The scene before him began to fade and he found himself in his bed. He was drenched with sweat and trembling by the thought of his friends getting hurt because of him.
It appeared that he hadn't screamed for none of the Dursely's were yelling at him for waking them up at, he glanced at the clock, 5 in the morning.
As he recalled the dream again he grabbed the mirror with only one thought, the Order had to be warned about this so they could take precautions.
"Remus Lupin" Harry said to the mirror trying to calm himself down. When Remus didn't answer fast enough for his taste he began to call over again.
"Remus, Remus wake up. Pick the mirror up Remus. Remus please, hurry up." The panic he had tried to hide was resurfacing fast.
His panic seemed to alert Lupin for his tired countenance was in the mirror almost instantaneously. "Harry, what's wrong are you in danger, do I need to apparate over?"
"Voldemort, he. . . I had a dream and he. . . they're going to target people I care about. He wants me to suffer. What if he attacks the Weasely's or Hermione or you and the Order?"
Remus seemed to be less alarmed at hearing Harry just had a dream and he grimaced at his own thought. After all Harry didn't have 'just dreams' he had visions which disrupted his sleep. Visions no boy his age should see.
"Tell me about your vision." He told Harry in the most reassuring voice he could muster. As Harry began to recount the dream to him thoughts were shooting through his mind and he was already forming plans.
When Harry finished he started to calm the boy down. "Harry, you need to tell Dumbledore about this or do you want me to it?"
"No, I'll do it." Harry said. "It may seem kind of selfish but I don't want them to know about the mirrors, I like being able to talk to you whenever I want. Is it a bad thing to keep hidden Remus, it couldn't hurt anyone could it?"
Remus smiled at him. "No Harry, it is not a bad thing. Even you can keep things to yourself once in a while. And to be honest I do not wish to tell about the mirrors either. You are not the only one of us who enjoys our daily conversations. It is a lot faster than owling."
"Hedwig will be back in a few hours, she always is back before breakfast. I'll send a letter with the dream. Can you make sure they take it serious? Make them act on it."
Once again Remus smiled at him. "Your visions will always be taken seriously, especially now we understand the link between you and Voldemort."
"But" Harry said "What if they believe Voldemort is trying to fool me again, trying to manipulate me to do something stupid like. . . "
He didn't finish his sentence but Remus knew what he was trying to say. He put on a stern face. "Listen to me carefully Harry. Sirius's death is not your fault, nor is it Dumbledore's or mine or anyone else's but the person who killed him."
"But. . . "
"No buts, I will say this slowly. It. . . is. . . not. . . your. . . fault. Do you understand this? Sirius wanted to take part on a mission and he did everything in his power to protect you. He was a great man and wizard but even he could not dodge a curse from the range it was shot at him."
Harry nodded slowly and he couldn't help the tear falling from his eyes. "I just miss him so much, why did it have to be him. He was. . . well like a dad and a brother in one. First my mum and dad and now him. I don't want to lose others as well, I can't."
"You write your letter and I promise you that it will be taken serious." Remus looked at Harry's face and saw the tiredness but knew he wouldn't be able to sleep even if he wanted to.
"Why don't you try to make some homework until breakfast, I believe you still have an essay to do about the Dreamless Sleep potion and why it cannot be used on a regular basis."
Harry grimaced. "Did you have to remind me? Snape talks about that in front of you guys. I bet he is really happy with his ability to torture me over the summer as well."
"Well" Remus said "You are torturing him as much you know, he really dislikes you and now he has to put in extra effort only to be stuck with you for another two years."
This made Harry smile a little. "He's stuck with both me and Hermione, I can't believe she got O's on all her subjects. That has to be some kind of record."
"Actually it's not. Your mother did the same thing during her OWL's, she was a very smart and talented witch you know."
As always, hearing about his parents made Harry smile. He then rubbed his temples, the faint throbbing of his scar was still annoying him.
Remus picked up on this immediately and frowned. "Do I need to send you a pain relief potion Harry? I will have Severus whip one up in a snap if you want me to."
"Nah, I'll just take an aspirin. It has the same effect, well almost the same effect, and it doesn't taste as bad as a potion. I wonder if he makes it extra nasty when he knows it's for me."
"I have wondered about the same thing myself. Severus is still angry for having to brew my Wolfsbane potion for me every month. I swear it tastes more vile every month. But you should write that letter now and I have to go on duty in an hour so I need to get ready."
Harry could take a subtle hint. "Ok, please be careful Remus. I can't loose you too, not now ok. Be really careful, no taking risks you hear me?"
"Look who's talking." Remus stated. "I'll be careful I promise. I will talk to you later. Bye Harry."
"Bye" Harry echoed but the mirror now only reflected his face again. With a sigh Harry got out of bed and grabbed a quill to write about his dream.
As he was writing he could feel the anger inside of him rise. It wasn't fair that Voldemort was doing this to him. It was always him. Why couldn't it be someone else instead, he could've chosen Neville but noooo, he had to choose him.
Now Harry knew he was being unfair because he didn't wish his troubles on anyone else, but that didn't change the fact that he was getting sick of being the main target.
The prophecy didn't help either. He knew he was going to die by Voldemort's hand or going to be the one to kill him. Neither was a very happy thought.
Being cooped up in he house for another summer was not much better but he wasn't as angry about it as the year before. He now had a lot of work to keep him distracted and the most important thing was that he wasn't sure if he wanted to go back to Black Manor, it would be full of memories of Sirius.
He blocked the last thought from his mind. He didn't want to think about it. He finished the letter and grabbed 'The Marauder Chronicles' and began to read the section on Animagus transformation.
Now Harry had known his father had been smart, Head Boy was not an easily earned title, but the notes in the book were very clear and the most confusing texts were dissected into more understandable theories.
He knew what was his father's handwriting by now, like he knew that of the other Marauders. Sirius's was often hasty and messily but still readable, Remus's script was neat and orderly like the person he was and Peter's scrawling was almost indecipherable.
His father's handwriting was somewhere in between Remus's and Sirius's. It could get sloppy from time to time but it was neat for most of the time.
This is how Harry knew that James had been the one to work on the Animagus thing the most. Sirius had done his fair amount as well. Outlining the potion and what they needed and where to get it. Remus had investigated on charms that would help if the transformation went wrong.
James's task had been to figure out how the transformation would take place, as his best subject was Transfiguration. Or so Remus had told Harry.
It was weird but reading things his father had written made him feel much closer to him. As if he was getting the whole picture of him.
To Harry his father had always seemed some kind of hero ever since he learned the truth about his parents fate. When he found out in his third year that he had risen to duel with Voldemort this had added to the picture.
What he had found in Snape's pensieve had shattered his image of his father. No longer was he the heroic person he had imagine him to be, instead he had seen a bully trying to impress others by degrading others.
He didn't feel much better after the explanations given to him by Sirius and Remus, both telling him that they had been young and stupid at the time.
Now he was putting the picture of James back together, but this time it was a realistic one instead of the ideal man he had envisioned.
He learned about his father's bravery, his intelligence, his stupidity but most importantly he learned about his loyalty. For there was no doubt about it, James Potter was loyal to his friends even if it meant breaking the law for them.
This was a part he was reading at the moment. Remus had written a small not earlier about the consequences of their actions and James's reply made Harry smile.
'I think I speak for all of us when I say that I know of the consequences and I don't care. You forget Moony, we are doing this for you. I don't know about the others but I want to help you during your monthly transformations. You say we've been helping you already, just by accepting you but I think that's just a load of bull. We can't do any more than collect your homework while you lay in agony in the Hospital Wing. No Moony, there is no talking me out of this. We are your friends, always will be. Now stop trying to talk us out of this.
James'
Further on in the book the messages were no longer signed with names but with their nicknames. Harry turned to the next page and stopped at the sight.
On the page were drawings of the three Animagi. It seemed that Remus had a hidden talent for drawing, because they were quite good.
It seemed that Remus had done them in his free time or when he was bored because they were very detailed and there was even a picture of their normal, human form as well.
The first was Peter on the top of the page. Harry didn't want to see it but remembered his promise to Remus so left it undamaged.
The rat was just like Harry remembered, he had seen Scabbers for three years after all. It was the picture of Peter himself that was so different from the man he had become.
For instance the blond hair was still on his head instead of him being almost bald. His beady blue eyes held amusement instead of the fear that seemed to be in them all the time.
The second one was Prongs in his full glory. Harry was amazed at the resemblance between his Patronus and his father's form. They both had the same build and the same form of antlers. Harry was now more sure than ever that his father was protecting him in form of his Patronus, and that was a comforting thought.
Looking at the picture of his father's face was like looking in a mirror. Only this reflection seemed healthier, happier and had brown eyes. Whereas Harry had inherited his mother's green ones.
He was happy about that actually, because everyone always kept telling him how much he was like his dad. It was nice to have some part of his mother within himself as well.
Suddenly Hedwig swooped through the window and Harry noticed he had been reading for an hour already. He walked to his owl as she drank some water and scratched her neck a little.
"Had a good flight girl?" he got a hoot for answer so he took that as a yes. "Can you go to Moody again with this letter, it is really important so you'll have to hurry."
He tied the letter to her leg again and she was off again. Harry was grateful that Hedwig had been in such a good mood lately. She loved to fly and she wasn't as miserable as she had been the last few summers.
Grabbing the book again he looked at the third picture and he felt the tears welling in his eyes once more. There stood a big black dog, a resemblance of the Grim itself. His fur was shiny and his ribs were not to be seen.
Next to it was a picture of his Godfather in his best years. Harry didn't know how but Remus seemed to have captured the mischief in his eyes and the brilliance of his smile.
Harry closed his eyes to print this image in his head. He pulled the book to his heart and silently cried for the memory of his Godfather and also for his father. Yet he also cried for himself and the situation he found himself him.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Meanwhile Remus was finishing his mission with Mundungus, and he felt dirty and agitated. Not a good combination with the approaching full moon.
Barely containing the urge to slam the door behind him as he entered the Headquarters for the Order Remus strode to the kitchen. He needed a cup of tea to calm down a little.
He was not prepared for the meeting that had been taking place in there. All the members had somehow managed to fit themselves in the kitchen and they were in a sombre mood.
"What is wrong?" asked Remus. He hoped it wasn't anything serious, he had a bad day already and didn't know if he could handle a lot more than his utter failure with Dung that day.
He took a seat on the table while the others were standing around. He was too tired to care anyway. A
Molly was fussing with a teakettle and poured him a cup of tea before she spoke in a solemn voice. "It's Harry, he's had another dream. You-Know-Who will be targeting his friends in order to hurt him. The dream sounded so awful and he didn't tell it but I am sure he has a terrible headache."
"Oh." Remus said and relief flooded his face. He had thought that something worse had happened. He after all knew about Harry's vision already."
But Molly seemed to misunderstand his relief and put her hands at her sides and looked at him, an angry fire burning in her eyes and the small vein on her head was see to be throbbing, a sign of an angry outburst on its way.
"Is that all you have to say? Oh? Why that poor boy was forced to witness a Death Eater meeting and saw them scheming against him and you dare to say oh? And why do you sound relieved, do you not care for Harry at all?"
"Molly. . . " Remus tried to interrupt but was cut short.
"Don't you dare Molly me. You say you care about Harry but you don't show it. Besides a few letters you haven's contacted him once while the rest of us have. He is the son of some of your best friends, your best friend's godson, and you have turned your back on him."
Remus tried to control himself as she shot off her accusations towards him but it was getting harder and harder.
"What kind of man are you, to desert a child in need. He needs you to overcome Sirius's death. The man played a small part in Harry's life and I disagreed with him more than once but Harry seemed to care for him."
This was the final straw for Remus. "Enough!" The words seemed to be a growl instead of his normal voice. "How dare you say these things about Sirius and Harry. Those two loved each other dearly and you have no idea what you are talking about Molly so I suggest you leave it to rest."
"Well Sirius chose some way to show that he loved him didn't he?" Molly didn't seem to notice that she was walking a fine line. "He took the first opportunity to play hero and got himself killed. Now that was smart."
What happened next shocked everyone to their core. Remus jumped up with a growl and his amber eyes seemed to glow as he knocked the table over in rage.
The chair he had been sitting in hit the ground and the table was turned over with a large crash. Remus's untouched cup of tea shattering as it hit the floor.
The ruckus attracted the attention of Moody and Dung who had been talking in the hallway. They rushed to the kitchen and stopped dead in their tracks as they watched the scene unfold.
"Don't you ever, EVER, say a word about Sirius again understand. DO YOU UNDERSTAND! You have no idea who Sirius was and what he has done for Harry. No idea the risks he took. You have judged him from the moment you saw him and I have played judge between you more than once. But I swear to Merlin if you ever talk about him in that way again I will make you regret it."
Now Molly Weasley was not a woman who was easily frightened, but for the first time since she had met him she was scared to death for Remus Lupin. She trembled under his furious gaze and she could see the amber eyes shoot flames at her.
She wasn't the only one who was afraid at that moment. They were all shocked by Remus's behaviour. Moody wanted to calm everything down but Remus wasn't done yet.
"And as to my relation with Harry, I believe that is my business and not yours. You may think of him as another son but he is not. He is Harry Potter and no matter what you want he will be the one to end Voldemort. You cannot keep treating him like a child when it is very clear he isn't one anymore. He hasn't been for a long time now."
He clenched his fists into tight balls and closed his eyes in order to contain his rage. Moony was fighting hard to get control, Remus's anger feeding the wolf's strength.
With the greatest effort of inner strength he turned around and stalked out of the kitchen and left the house, the door closing with a loud bang behind him.
The shaking Molly was put in a chair by Bill who saw that his mother was about to collapse. "I have never seen him act like that." he said. "It was as if he had lost all control."
"He nearly did." growled Moody. "Let us hope we never see him act like that again. I have only see him loose his temper once before and let me assure you that it is not a happy sight. He came really close to the edge today."
Molly was regaining her colour again and huffed. "Well, I sure hope he will cool down because I will not trust him with the safety of my children or Harry if he is like this.
"That's not fair." Exclaimed Hermione, who had been shocked by the sight of her favourite teacher's angry outburst. "You forget that the full moon is tonight so he was more likely to overreact today. You also said some nasty things Mrs. Weasley. He still misses Sirius and. . . well I think you touched a nerve."
"Still no reason to wreck my kitchen and stomping off like a petulant child." Molly countered.
Hermione opened her mouth to contradict her but Ron was faster. "He was not acting like a child mum, he was trying to keep himself from tearing you apart. Hell I was bloody angry about the things you said. He was right you know, you never knew Sirius."
"Ron language!" Said Mrs. Weasley. "I may have said some things but he still owes me an apology."
The others sighed, knowing her stubborn nature. They could only hope that the two would mend the rifts that were now between them, although they secretly knew that the blame was not with either of them.
A/N: I hope you liked this, not a lot of action yet but it will be coming. Did it suck? Was it okay? Did I put any of the characters out of character or did I make mistakes??? Please let me know what you think. This is harder than I thought it would be, writing a HP fic I mean. Please, please, please let me know.
Nicole: I'm continuing, I hope you like this chapter.
Kliewer: You think it's good? Thank you, I wrote more. ;)
Willow: Happy you liked the start, I don't know, I always like Sirius better even though Remus is a close second for me. Hope you like the chapter.
Laerwen: So you really think I should continue, huh, never thought I would get reviews though. I am happy about it of course.
Nexus: I'm keeping it up as long as you review I'll write.
The Great One: What's confusing? Did I mess something up? Let me know ok so I can clarify.
Y2J-HBK: I'm feeling fine thanks, but I'll take your word. I hope you like this update.
Heather: Happy you liked the start, hope you like this chapter as well.
Aquiaineq: Thanks for letting e know what you think, I really appreciate it.
Porphyrophobic Grape: I put longer paragraphs in like you suggested, I hope you like it. You are right though, writing is trial and error and I can only do my best.
Yoshi-fan2003: Thanks for the review, was this update soon enough?
Abigail Nicole: First I want to thank you for your honest opinion. I have no problem with criticism as long as it has a basis and you pointed out a lot of things. JK is better than I am, she is the mother of HP after all. I tried to slow things down a bit in this chapter, can you tell the difference? I also went deeper into the Sirius thing, I hope you like it. I am happy you thought I stuck to the characters and plot lines. That is my goal, I don't want to take it all out of character. Please let me know if I do. Yeah, I know Musicgrl she mailed me last night. OotP took me 7 hours to read, you must be a fast reader to have done it in 5. Wow, look at this, it is so long. There is no need to apologise, it's not like you were wrong.
Angie: Yes, I will be continuing. Glad you though it had promise.
Brave goat: Thank you, hope you like this chapter as well.
Demon-Child: You live up to your name, I really thought you hated it but thankfully you were just playing. I know it wasn't the greatest but there is always room for improvement. Let me know what you think about this chapter.
DISCLAIMER: Not mine but JK Rowling's.
Of course, what he wished for he didn't get. Without the occlumency lesson this summer Harry was still pulled into Voldemort's thoughts through his dreams. Even though he wouldn't act on them as stupidly as he had done with his vision of Sirius now he knew it could be fake.
This time the vision seemed far from fake though. He was standing on the sidelines of what seemed like a gloomy dungeon of some sort, while Voldemort was standing in the middle.
"After your unforgivable failure of recovering the prophecy, you have not only been stupid enough to be captured but you also gave away your cover. Now there are none in the Ministry who you can manipulate. What do you have to say for yourself Lucius?"
Harry watched as the blond-haired Death Eater fell on his knees. "Forgive me My Lord for I did not know. It was Potter, he misled us all."
"Crucio" Voldemort's cold voice ended Malfoy's tirade. The man's body convulsed with the pain that seeped through his body and Harry got a little nauseous at watching this particular scene. Finally the curse was lifted from Malfoy and the man sank back to the floor, breathing heavily.
"Potter, yes, Potter has been able to foil my plans more than once. But that still is no reason for your failure. There were a dozen of you and you were all beaten by children. Children! No you cannot use Potter as an excuse for this."
Malfoy seemed to understand that he was in for it. "Yes My Lord, I understand. I must thank you for getting me out of Azkaban, even without the Dementors it is an unhappy place."
"I will need you in this time to come." Voldemort's voice sounded calm but also a weird sort of happy and this concerned Harry more than anything else. A happy Voldemort usually resulted into bad things.
Voldemort looked at the circle of Death Eaters around him. "I will need you all. For too long has the magical world been ruled by blundering fools. For too long have the Mudbloods and Muggle-lovers opposed those who know the truth. Pure blood means everything in this world."
He was silent and immediately a cheer rang through the dungeon. Voldemort raised his hand for silence and his command was complied to at once.
"We have lost the advantage we had last year, my renewed presence has now become common knowledge and our plans to get rid of Potter and that fool Dumbledore have failed. Now is the time to show them our strength. We will continue where we left off nearly fifteen years ago and spread chaos once again."
Harry's insides clenched as he realised what they were talking about, they were going to start attacking again.
Then a woman stepped forwards and Harry growled when he recognised the woman who had killed his godfather, the woman he had wanted to kill. Bellatrix Lestrange.
"Milord, where will we start? What can we do to help your noble cause?" She bowed low as she spoke and never dared to look in the cruel wizard's eyes.
The red eyes narrowed a little when she spoke out of place but he didn't curse her, for once Harry was disappointed at that. He wanted this woman to suffer as much as she had made him suffer, as much as she had made her cousin suffer.
Stopping his own thoughts Harry realised he was acting like Voldemort himself at that moment and felt sick with himself. He started to pay attention to what was being said again and hope he would be able to wake up soon.
"You" said Voldemort "You will start attacking targets of my choosing but not yet, we will have to plan this carefully for I want Potter to suffer."
A smile came on Voldemort's face. "We will hit him where it hurts the most, his heart. We will need to find out more about the boy and those he cares about."
Malfoy crawled towards the centre of the circle again and held his head bowed low as he spoke. "My Lord, I can help you with obtaining this information. My son, Draco, hates Potter with a vengeance and would gladly spy for you. Help you figure out who to strike first."
For a second Voldemort thought about this and nodded curtly. "Very well Lucius, inform your son of what he will do for me. But I will hold you responsible for his failures. Take this as a warning."
Before Malfoy knew what was happening he was hit with another Cruciatus and Harry felt sick to his stomach. Voldemort wanted to hurt the people he cared about.
He could feel the glee come off the dark wizard and his scar was burning and throbbing at the same time. "No!" he yelled, even though he knew he wouldn't be heard. "I won't let you Voldemort, I won't."
The scene before him began to fade and he found himself in his bed. He was drenched with sweat and trembling by the thought of his friends getting hurt because of him.
It appeared that he hadn't screamed for none of the Dursely's were yelling at him for waking them up at, he glanced at the clock, 5 in the morning.
As he recalled the dream again he grabbed the mirror with only one thought, the Order had to be warned about this so they could take precautions.
"Remus Lupin" Harry said to the mirror trying to calm himself down. When Remus didn't answer fast enough for his taste he began to call over again.
"Remus, Remus wake up. Pick the mirror up Remus. Remus please, hurry up." The panic he had tried to hide was resurfacing fast.
His panic seemed to alert Lupin for his tired countenance was in the mirror almost instantaneously. "Harry, what's wrong are you in danger, do I need to apparate over?"
"Voldemort, he. . . I had a dream and he. . . they're going to target people I care about. He wants me to suffer. What if he attacks the Weasely's or Hermione or you and the Order?"
Remus seemed to be less alarmed at hearing Harry just had a dream and he grimaced at his own thought. After all Harry didn't have 'just dreams' he had visions which disrupted his sleep. Visions no boy his age should see.
"Tell me about your vision." He told Harry in the most reassuring voice he could muster. As Harry began to recount the dream to him thoughts were shooting through his mind and he was already forming plans.
When Harry finished he started to calm the boy down. "Harry, you need to tell Dumbledore about this or do you want me to it?"
"No, I'll do it." Harry said. "It may seem kind of selfish but I don't want them to know about the mirrors, I like being able to talk to you whenever I want. Is it a bad thing to keep hidden Remus, it couldn't hurt anyone could it?"
Remus smiled at him. "No Harry, it is not a bad thing. Even you can keep things to yourself once in a while. And to be honest I do not wish to tell about the mirrors either. You are not the only one of us who enjoys our daily conversations. It is a lot faster than owling."
"Hedwig will be back in a few hours, she always is back before breakfast. I'll send a letter with the dream. Can you make sure they take it serious? Make them act on it."
Once again Remus smiled at him. "Your visions will always be taken seriously, especially now we understand the link between you and Voldemort."
"But" Harry said "What if they believe Voldemort is trying to fool me again, trying to manipulate me to do something stupid like. . . "
He didn't finish his sentence but Remus knew what he was trying to say. He put on a stern face. "Listen to me carefully Harry. Sirius's death is not your fault, nor is it Dumbledore's or mine or anyone else's but the person who killed him."
"But. . . "
"No buts, I will say this slowly. It. . . is. . . not. . . your. . . fault. Do you understand this? Sirius wanted to take part on a mission and he did everything in his power to protect you. He was a great man and wizard but even he could not dodge a curse from the range it was shot at him."
Harry nodded slowly and he couldn't help the tear falling from his eyes. "I just miss him so much, why did it have to be him. He was. . . well like a dad and a brother in one. First my mum and dad and now him. I don't want to lose others as well, I can't."
"You write your letter and I promise you that it will be taken serious." Remus looked at Harry's face and saw the tiredness but knew he wouldn't be able to sleep even if he wanted to.
"Why don't you try to make some homework until breakfast, I believe you still have an essay to do about the Dreamless Sleep potion and why it cannot be used on a regular basis."
Harry grimaced. "Did you have to remind me? Snape talks about that in front of you guys. I bet he is really happy with his ability to torture me over the summer as well."
"Well" Remus said "You are torturing him as much you know, he really dislikes you and now he has to put in extra effort only to be stuck with you for another two years."
This made Harry smile a little. "He's stuck with both me and Hermione, I can't believe she got O's on all her subjects. That has to be some kind of record."
"Actually it's not. Your mother did the same thing during her OWL's, she was a very smart and talented witch you know."
As always, hearing about his parents made Harry smile. He then rubbed his temples, the faint throbbing of his scar was still annoying him.
Remus picked up on this immediately and frowned. "Do I need to send you a pain relief potion Harry? I will have Severus whip one up in a snap if you want me to."
"Nah, I'll just take an aspirin. It has the same effect, well almost the same effect, and it doesn't taste as bad as a potion. I wonder if he makes it extra nasty when he knows it's for me."
"I have wondered about the same thing myself. Severus is still angry for having to brew my Wolfsbane potion for me every month. I swear it tastes more vile every month. But you should write that letter now and I have to go on duty in an hour so I need to get ready."
Harry could take a subtle hint. "Ok, please be careful Remus. I can't loose you too, not now ok. Be really careful, no taking risks you hear me?"
"Look who's talking." Remus stated. "I'll be careful I promise. I will talk to you later. Bye Harry."
"Bye" Harry echoed but the mirror now only reflected his face again. With a sigh Harry got out of bed and grabbed a quill to write about his dream.
As he was writing he could feel the anger inside of him rise. It wasn't fair that Voldemort was doing this to him. It was always him. Why couldn't it be someone else instead, he could've chosen Neville but noooo, he had to choose him.
Now Harry knew he was being unfair because he didn't wish his troubles on anyone else, but that didn't change the fact that he was getting sick of being the main target.
The prophecy didn't help either. He knew he was going to die by Voldemort's hand or going to be the one to kill him. Neither was a very happy thought.
Being cooped up in he house for another summer was not much better but he wasn't as angry about it as the year before. He now had a lot of work to keep him distracted and the most important thing was that he wasn't sure if he wanted to go back to Black Manor, it would be full of memories of Sirius.
He blocked the last thought from his mind. He didn't want to think about it. He finished the letter and grabbed 'The Marauder Chronicles' and began to read the section on Animagus transformation.
Now Harry had known his father had been smart, Head Boy was not an easily earned title, but the notes in the book were very clear and the most confusing texts were dissected into more understandable theories.
He knew what was his father's handwriting by now, like he knew that of the other Marauders. Sirius's was often hasty and messily but still readable, Remus's script was neat and orderly like the person he was and Peter's scrawling was almost indecipherable.
His father's handwriting was somewhere in between Remus's and Sirius's. It could get sloppy from time to time but it was neat for most of the time.
This is how Harry knew that James had been the one to work on the Animagus thing the most. Sirius had done his fair amount as well. Outlining the potion and what they needed and where to get it. Remus had investigated on charms that would help if the transformation went wrong.
James's task had been to figure out how the transformation would take place, as his best subject was Transfiguration. Or so Remus had told Harry.
It was weird but reading things his father had written made him feel much closer to him. As if he was getting the whole picture of him.
To Harry his father had always seemed some kind of hero ever since he learned the truth about his parents fate. When he found out in his third year that he had risen to duel with Voldemort this had added to the picture.
What he had found in Snape's pensieve had shattered his image of his father. No longer was he the heroic person he had imagine him to be, instead he had seen a bully trying to impress others by degrading others.
He didn't feel much better after the explanations given to him by Sirius and Remus, both telling him that they had been young and stupid at the time.
Now he was putting the picture of James back together, but this time it was a realistic one instead of the ideal man he had envisioned.
He learned about his father's bravery, his intelligence, his stupidity but most importantly he learned about his loyalty. For there was no doubt about it, James Potter was loyal to his friends even if it meant breaking the law for them.
This was a part he was reading at the moment. Remus had written a small not earlier about the consequences of their actions and James's reply made Harry smile.
'I think I speak for all of us when I say that I know of the consequences and I don't care. You forget Moony, we are doing this for you. I don't know about the others but I want to help you during your monthly transformations. You say we've been helping you already, just by accepting you but I think that's just a load of bull. We can't do any more than collect your homework while you lay in agony in the Hospital Wing. No Moony, there is no talking me out of this. We are your friends, always will be. Now stop trying to talk us out of this.
James'
Further on in the book the messages were no longer signed with names but with their nicknames. Harry turned to the next page and stopped at the sight.
On the page were drawings of the three Animagi. It seemed that Remus had a hidden talent for drawing, because they were quite good.
It seemed that Remus had done them in his free time or when he was bored because they were very detailed and there was even a picture of their normal, human form as well.
The first was Peter on the top of the page. Harry didn't want to see it but remembered his promise to Remus so left it undamaged.
The rat was just like Harry remembered, he had seen Scabbers for three years after all. It was the picture of Peter himself that was so different from the man he had become.
For instance the blond hair was still on his head instead of him being almost bald. His beady blue eyes held amusement instead of the fear that seemed to be in them all the time.
The second one was Prongs in his full glory. Harry was amazed at the resemblance between his Patronus and his father's form. They both had the same build and the same form of antlers. Harry was now more sure than ever that his father was protecting him in form of his Patronus, and that was a comforting thought.
Looking at the picture of his father's face was like looking in a mirror. Only this reflection seemed healthier, happier and had brown eyes. Whereas Harry had inherited his mother's green ones.
He was happy about that actually, because everyone always kept telling him how much he was like his dad. It was nice to have some part of his mother within himself as well.
Suddenly Hedwig swooped through the window and Harry noticed he had been reading for an hour already. He walked to his owl as she drank some water and scratched her neck a little.
"Had a good flight girl?" he got a hoot for answer so he took that as a yes. "Can you go to Moody again with this letter, it is really important so you'll have to hurry."
He tied the letter to her leg again and she was off again. Harry was grateful that Hedwig had been in such a good mood lately. She loved to fly and she wasn't as miserable as she had been the last few summers.
Grabbing the book again he looked at the third picture and he felt the tears welling in his eyes once more. There stood a big black dog, a resemblance of the Grim itself. His fur was shiny and his ribs were not to be seen.
Next to it was a picture of his Godfather in his best years. Harry didn't know how but Remus seemed to have captured the mischief in his eyes and the brilliance of his smile.
Harry closed his eyes to print this image in his head. He pulled the book to his heart and silently cried for the memory of his Godfather and also for his father. Yet he also cried for himself and the situation he found himself him.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Meanwhile Remus was finishing his mission with Mundungus, and he felt dirty and agitated. Not a good combination with the approaching full moon.
Barely containing the urge to slam the door behind him as he entered the Headquarters for the Order Remus strode to the kitchen. He needed a cup of tea to calm down a little.
He was not prepared for the meeting that had been taking place in there. All the members had somehow managed to fit themselves in the kitchen and they were in a sombre mood.
"What is wrong?" asked Remus. He hoped it wasn't anything serious, he had a bad day already and didn't know if he could handle a lot more than his utter failure with Dung that day.
He took a seat on the table while the others were standing around. He was too tired to care anyway. A
Molly was fussing with a teakettle and poured him a cup of tea before she spoke in a solemn voice. "It's Harry, he's had another dream. You-Know-Who will be targeting his friends in order to hurt him. The dream sounded so awful and he didn't tell it but I am sure he has a terrible headache."
"Oh." Remus said and relief flooded his face. He had thought that something worse had happened. He after all knew about Harry's vision already."
But Molly seemed to misunderstand his relief and put her hands at her sides and looked at him, an angry fire burning in her eyes and the small vein on her head was see to be throbbing, a sign of an angry outburst on its way.
"Is that all you have to say? Oh? Why that poor boy was forced to witness a Death Eater meeting and saw them scheming against him and you dare to say oh? And why do you sound relieved, do you not care for Harry at all?"
"Molly. . . " Remus tried to interrupt but was cut short.
"Don't you dare Molly me. You say you care about Harry but you don't show it. Besides a few letters you haven's contacted him once while the rest of us have. He is the son of some of your best friends, your best friend's godson, and you have turned your back on him."
Remus tried to control himself as she shot off her accusations towards him but it was getting harder and harder.
"What kind of man are you, to desert a child in need. He needs you to overcome Sirius's death. The man played a small part in Harry's life and I disagreed with him more than once but Harry seemed to care for him."
This was the final straw for Remus. "Enough!" The words seemed to be a growl instead of his normal voice. "How dare you say these things about Sirius and Harry. Those two loved each other dearly and you have no idea what you are talking about Molly so I suggest you leave it to rest."
"Well Sirius chose some way to show that he loved him didn't he?" Molly didn't seem to notice that she was walking a fine line. "He took the first opportunity to play hero and got himself killed. Now that was smart."
What happened next shocked everyone to their core. Remus jumped up with a growl and his amber eyes seemed to glow as he knocked the table over in rage.
The chair he had been sitting in hit the ground and the table was turned over with a large crash. Remus's untouched cup of tea shattering as it hit the floor.
The ruckus attracted the attention of Moody and Dung who had been talking in the hallway. They rushed to the kitchen and stopped dead in their tracks as they watched the scene unfold.
"Don't you ever, EVER, say a word about Sirius again understand. DO YOU UNDERSTAND! You have no idea who Sirius was and what he has done for Harry. No idea the risks he took. You have judged him from the moment you saw him and I have played judge between you more than once. But I swear to Merlin if you ever talk about him in that way again I will make you regret it."
Now Molly Weasley was not a woman who was easily frightened, but for the first time since she had met him she was scared to death for Remus Lupin. She trembled under his furious gaze and she could see the amber eyes shoot flames at her.
She wasn't the only one who was afraid at that moment. They were all shocked by Remus's behaviour. Moody wanted to calm everything down but Remus wasn't done yet.
"And as to my relation with Harry, I believe that is my business and not yours. You may think of him as another son but he is not. He is Harry Potter and no matter what you want he will be the one to end Voldemort. You cannot keep treating him like a child when it is very clear he isn't one anymore. He hasn't been for a long time now."
He clenched his fists into tight balls and closed his eyes in order to contain his rage. Moony was fighting hard to get control, Remus's anger feeding the wolf's strength.
With the greatest effort of inner strength he turned around and stalked out of the kitchen and left the house, the door closing with a loud bang behind him.
The shaking Molly was put in a chair by Bill who saw that his mother was about to collapse. "I have never seen him act like that." he said. "It was as if he had lost all control."
"He nearly did." growled Moody. "Let us hope we never see him act like that again. I have only see him loose his temper once before and let me assure you that it is not a happy sight. He came really close to the edge today."
Molly was regaining her colour again and huffed. "Well, I sure hope he will cool down because I will not trust him with the safety of my children or Harry if he is like this.
"That's not fair." Exclaimed Hermione, who had been shocked by the sight of her favourite teacher's angry outburst. "You forget that the full moon is tonight so he was more likely to overreact today. You also said some nasty things Mrs. Weasley. He still misses Sirius and. . . well I think you touched a nerve."
"Still no reason to wreck my kitchen and stomping off like a petulant child." Molly countered.
Hermione opened her mouth to contradict her but Ron was faster. "He was not acting like a child mum, he was trying to keep himself from tearing you apart. Hell I was bloody angry about the things you said. He was right you know, you never knew Sirius."
"Ron language!" Said Mrs. Weasley. "I may have said some things but he still owes me an apology."
The others sighed, knowing her stubborn nature. They could only hope that the two would mend the rifts that were now between them, although they secretly knew that the blame was not with either of them.
A/N: I hope you liked this, not a lot of action yet but it will be coming. Did it suck? Was it okay? Did I put any of the characters out of character or did I make mistakes??? Please let me know what you think. This is harder than I thought it would be, writing a HP fic I mean. Please, please, please let me know.