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Norrington's Journal
Dear Journal I am writing this passage with the hope no one will come across your pages. I have a confession I must, nay, I want to make: A confession allow another man or woman to know. The ink that will spill form my quill will explain the real reason why I allowed the notorious pirate, Captain Jack Sparrow, to escape the gallows.
Governor Swan, may the good lord bless his soul, blame it was his words that convinced me alone. I wish it were merely as simple as that. It wasn't the fact he had more sway than me by being an elected official. No, it was not the reason alone. It was neither the reason I wanted an advisory, same scoundrel I could hunt down and catch again and again. Searching the sea for him was part of the reason. I want to capture him after my blade crosses against his in a fight, not by hauling him out of a rowboat. Another reason is because I know deep down in my heart it was wrong to kill the man who risked his life and limb to save my fiancée and the man who truly captured her heart.
I need to correct myself. She is my former fiancée. Several of my men questioned why I broke of the engagement and allowed her to be with the one she truly loves. I had told my men it would be wrong for me to have her as a wife and endure an unhappy life when she would be truly miserable. "I would rather see her happy and not be by my side than have her a wife and let her soul erode," were my exact words. I was never questioned again about my decision. In their stead were praises for what they have deemed to be my noble choice. I was even compared to the true mother in the story of King Solomon who was willing to give up her child. In truth I felt a bit of a relief when I allowed her to go.
In truth I was never in love with her. I loved her like she was family, but I never was in love with her. I only asked her to accept my hand as my wife because it seemed logical. We would have been a fitting match. I, the noble, newly promoted commodore and she the lovely governor's daughter. Politically it seemed logical and because we were close it seemed logical, but romantically, my heart was not in it.
Through out my career I aimed to be better. I followed the proper protocol and did everything by the book. I rose through the ranks faster than anyone I have ever read in navy history. I have often been told I'm young for my ranking. I try to make it clear to everyone I earned my promotions.
Another question I often receive and ahve recieved is the whereabouts of my wife. I would tell those who asked I don't have one and they ask why. I try to be honest and explain I have been too busy with my career. I receive compliments on my looks, bravery, intelligence and swordsmanship and women hint at the idea I should invite them to dinner or take them to a play. Oh, they would not be so brash as to ask me out themselves. Perish the thought. These were proper English ladies who smiled at me and peered over their fans with their eyes and flutter their eyelashes. They were delicate creatures and wherever I have an evening I invite one to accompany me for the night. I was never brutish with them. The most affection I would bestow onto them was no more than a simple kiss on top of their hands.
I know I have been stalling in my confession. I had to release all these feelings that have been welling up inside me, eating at my soul. I had to explain why I let Elizabeth go. I had already mentioned I did not feel anything romantically for Elizabeth. In truth I do not feel any romantic feeling for any women. They are delicate creatures, beings with long, illustrious hair. They behold the same beauty as porcelain dolls. They are beings of beauty and many posses the great treasure of intelligence within their skulls and in Elizabeth's example a heart full of bravery.
I shall now confess where my heart leads. I rather be in the company of men than women. My feelings are the same sin that condemned the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah. When I first realized my preference for the same gender I prayed to the lord my feelings were only temporary and I pray my journal shall not be found by anyone less I loose the position of commodore. I pray, despite the fact the lord views me as an abomination. I had forced myself to be with women, although I could not bring myself to spend an evening with them in their bedroom chambers.
This brings me back to the soul reason I began my confession. Why I gave the villainous pirate a fair head start. I feel I may be attracted to Jack Sparrow. I did not want to see him hang, but what could I have said? I could not bestow mercy upon him simply because he saved Elizabeth. As much as I wanted to keep him alive, I had to fulfill my duty. I had to berate Turner, even though I was relieved the lad saved him. When the pirate was in my face I kept my eyes locked with his warm brown eyes lined with dark liner. A gorgeous man with skin tanned to a leather hue, yet nary a line to be found on his face. The sea air is grand at keeping our youth. Such lovely face, but I will never forget his smile. The glint of sunlight shining off the gold in his teeth and will forever is etched in my mind.
After seeing him swim away to his ship I knew I was supposed to order my men after him, but I could not. I did not want to. I felt relief from Governor Swan, who felt that some pirates should be allowed. My suggestion of allowing Sparrow a full day start seemed to sit well with my men. I know full well none of our ships could keep up with the Black Pearl and part of me hopes I never will catch up with him. I do not wish to send him to the gallows. I would have to explain why I would allow him to go free. I also do not know how I would behave around him. I may invite him to my private chamber for a meal. I would try to maintain my dignity, but I have this feeling when a person is near Jack Sparrow they may loose al inhibition.
We do not know what tomorrow brings. I am feeling the heavy weights of my eyelids. I must sleep now journal. I shall write in you tomorrow.