Disclaimer: I do not own the Xmen….. I would be so freaking rich.. Do I look rich to you?? Huh Huh?? Huh?? I don't hear any answers!… Oh and I don't own the songs either… :p
Ah it has been quite a while since my last update, has it not? Well I am more than willing to make up for it now!! Let us just say, I was suffering from a little thing called writer's block and I needed to see Lord of the Rings III Return of the King before I exploded. Now, that. . . . Was a good movie. I like Legolas (*sing sing voice) I like Legolas!!! Anyhoo. . . I have begun to stray off topic.
Recap: The Brotherhood are having a party with only the Acolytes and Rogue invited. They have a lovely contest, dramatic entrances. . . And then they danced like monkeys. Mmmm. . . Chocolate covered cannibalistic monkeys. . . Oops I'm straying again. Now we shall continue with our lovely story!! Oh yeah, IF THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO DO NOT ENJOY OR TAKE PLEASURE IN JEAN BASHING THEN I WOULD SUGGEST YOU READ ANOTHER FIC CUZ THIS ONE SHALL BE FILLED WITH IT!! FILLED I SAY!!! On with the story…
Let us Party
Chapter 3: Kill the Perfect People
" Wakey Wakey, Jean Grey.."
Rogue smacked Jean's half conscious face. The others had grown wary of their truth and dare game so they decided to kidnap Jean Grey. They had snuck into the Xmansion through the back door and found her sitting in the living room, basking in her perfect glory. Rogue had spouted out a Xena-like battle cry and smacked her upside the head with a cold dead fish. Because the fish was so disgusting and it had pulled a strand of her perfect hair out of place, Jean had fallen into a coma-like sleep.
Their heist was almost ruined when Kitty had walked downstairs to see Rogue dragging an unconscious and fishy smelling Jean across the floor. But Rogue was able to vouch her silence by making John strip dance for her to Kelis's "Milkshake" song. It was a rather hilarious sight indeed.
" Wha…where am I?…"
" Hello, Jean Grey."
" Rogue?…what are you doing here and why do I smell like fish?"
Rogue flashed Jean a sinister smirk.
" All will be told in time.."
As Jean's vision began to return, she sensed her arms were bound to something. Glancing down, she saw that her body was bound to a chair.
" What the… What is going on here Rogue?!"
Suddenly, Rogue erupted into deliciously evil laughter. The lights in the room began to darken until the only light that was left was the one that surrounded Jean Grey.
After a small minute, Jean noticed two glowing red eyes.
" Who are you?…"
Dramatic Cajun music wafted into the air as Remy walked into he light.
" Jem' apelle Remy LeBeau, Chienne." (A/N: hope I spelled that right)
Jean frowned slightly. She didn't know French because she thought herself too perfect to bother herself with such trivial languages.
" What?"
Rogue suddenly stepped into the light. Then she took her hand and severely bitch slapped Jean's face.
" Are ya hitting on mah man, hussy?!"
Remy grinned at Rogue.
" Remy be y' man, Chere.. Remy be touched.."
Rogue shot Remy a death glare that would've made Wolverine keel over. Remy laughed uneasily and slipped back into the darkness leaving Rogue and Jean alone.
Jean gazed her perfect little eyes up at Rogue.
" I wasn't hitting on him.."
" Oh yeah, Ah believe that as much as ah believe that ya ain't a skanky bitch."
Jean gasped. She was shocked that Rogue would use such foul language in the presence of such a mighty and higher authority.
" What?!"
Pietro suddenly showed up by Rogue's side and slapped Jean as well. Rogue jumped in front of Pietro before he would start pummeling Jean Grey.
" Wait!"
" What?"
Rogue began to hold her index finger up to Pietro to scold him.
" Guys aren't supposed ta hit girls."
" Not even Jean Grey?"
Rogue sighed sadly to herself.
" Nope, not even the slut that is the perfect Jean Grey."
" Damn, well-what-should-I-do-then?"
" What?"
" What should I do then?.."
Rogue smiled maliciously.
" Be a witness.."
" A witness?"
Rogue spun around and held her hands into the air.
" HIT THE LIGHTS!!"
With a huge bang, fluorescent light filled the room. Blinding the light-sensitive Remy and making the sugar high Pietro fall over in surprise. Rogue's outfit had somehow changed into one that was similar to Judge Judy and she was magically sitting atop of a stand, holding a gavel.
The other's were sitting in the jury seats staring manaically at Jean, who was sitting in the dunce corner.
Colossus stood on the left side of the room, holding what seemed to be a night stick in his right hand. On his shirt, he had a nametag that said BAILIFF.
" All rise for the Sometimes- Honorable Judge Darkholme."
Everyone stood up and saluted Rogue. Rogue nodded her head.
" Ya may be seated."
The whole jury sat back in their (magically appearing) lazy boy chairs. Rogue sat at her podium and shuffled with some papers (yes they were magically appearing as well).
" Ahem.. This is case Jean Grey Torture Experiment .."
The jury cries out in excitement but Rogue's gavel shut them up as she waved it threateningly.
" Now, we are here to see what kind of torture shall be used on little miss perfect."
Jean looked around, attempting to ignore the hard stares directed to her.
" Umm..Rogue?"
Rogue stood up quickly, flames darting in her eyes.
" It's ya honor."
Jean shrunk back in her chair.
" Err…Your Honor?"
"What?!"
" May I pose a question to the umm..court?"
" Talk now."
" Umm.. If this is a trial shouldn't I have a lawyer or something?"
The entire jury began to dramatically boo her. Remy stood up and whipped tomatoes out of his magic trench coat and handed them down to the people of the jury. Then Remy chucked his tomato at Jean, striking her directly in the forehead.
"Ow, what was that for?!"
" Fo' every stupid question, Chienne, y' shall be punished wit a tomato smack!"
" But."
*SMACK*
" Oww.."
A loud thumping noise alerted them to Rogue's presence at the podium.
" Silence NOW and cease the tomato throwing!"
" AWwwww…"
" Oh, Okay just one more tomato.."
The entire jury hurled their tomatoes at Jean, who now was suffering from citric acid overdose. Her eyes had taken on a puffy look, making her look far from perfect.
" Why are you doing this to me.." she wailed.
Rogue smirked evilly once more.
"Because we can.. "
" WWWAAAHHH…"
" Shut up Bitch!"
"WwwAAAAAAAAAHH!!! "
Rogue turned to face Colossus.
" Bailiff deal with this!"
Colossus walked up to Jean and bitch slapped her. It had immediately stopped her crying but she was still sniffling. Colossus glanced up at Rogue, who nodded her head once more.
* Sniffle* Sniffle* SniffAAAAAHHHH!!*
Colossus had pulled up his metallic form over his fist and punched Jean so hard that it broke her nose and a few of her precious little teeth fell out. The entire jury flinched at the sound of the breaking bones but Rogue was reveling in Jean Grey's pain.
" Ymou Bwoke mah nose…"
Rogue smiled malevolently.
" Ah'm sure he did, now do ya plan ta be quiet or do we have ta do some more convincing?"
Jean closed her mouth and stared at Rogue with wide eyes.
" Now, Ah have come ta a conclusion that Jean Grey does need a lawyer.."
" BOO!!" screamed Tabitha.
" Ahem, Bailiff.."
Colossus resumed his metallic form and walked menacingly over to Tabitha. Tabitha immediately sat down and hushed her mouth. Smiling successfully, Colossus returned to his post.
" Thank ya kindly, Bailiff."
" No Prob."
Rogue returned her attention back to Jean Grey, who was bleeding all over her pretty little khaki pants.
" Your lawyer shall be… SCOTT SUMMERS!"
With that, Scott Summers waltzed into the court with a black business suit on and matching black sun glasses (visors is more like it). Court official music played in the background as he took a seat across from Jean. He took one long glance at Jean and laughed.
This took everybody by surprise but they joined in. After the laughter died down, Colossus lightly slipped up beside Rogue and asked her a question (Secretly). Rogue nodded her head in acknowledgment.
" Ah payed Mesmero, ta take over his mind."
" Oooh…That's ingenius!"
" Ah know.. Now let us continue the trial."
Rogue turned her attention to Scott who was filing away some paper work.
" Well Scott, what's your case?"
Scott stood up and walked around the room dramatically.
" You see your honor, Perfect little Jean Grey is a bitch and she should die for her
bitchy sins. "
Jean gasped at Scott's words.
" Scott.. Why?"
Scott turned and faced Jean.
" Because I'm sick of being your lackey dammit!… the dumb ass behind the perfect wittle
Jean Grey.. Well I want more.. I don't want to be known as Tight Ass Scott with his Gay
Ass Condescending Voice."
The entire jury , including Rogue watched the spectacle before him.
" Wow, who knew there were so many sides to the neutered laser-eyed puppy dog?"
To know the conclusion of this lovely trial! You must Stay tuned till next time for the next episode of: Let us Party!!
~RoguesHeart~