Disclaimer: YES I DO own Trigun! And the grass is red, the ocean is thin yogurt, and the sun is just God's giant flashlight He dropped in His closet and forgot to turn off.
-_-;
***********
Chapter Five: Enter Wolfwood! The Hunter's Confessions
The last chapter, Andrea and Vash have a talk about personal space. o_O;
********
If Andrea hadn't been so stressed out with all the random breakouts, thefts, murders, massacres, and explosions that went on in New July, and with 'Alex', she would have noticed an odd pattern forming. Every time she came very close to finding the Humanoid Typhoon, Alex would somehow end up at the end of her trail or would at least screw something up. And if Andrea had been describing the whole thing in detail to a close friend, it would have become increasingly obvious who and where Vash the Stampede really was.
Luckily--or not--Andrea kept everything to herself. New July was still...new, and supplies were hard to find and very expensive to buy. She wrote a quick letter to her father explaining that she would not be writting for a while due to lack of paper in the town and that she was simply conserving it for her extensive paperwork. Alex didn't seem as uptight about everything, except when any comment of Vash the Stampede or her good progress in work was mentioned.
"Huh? What red coat?!"
*****
Sunday rolled around. Andrea's father Matthew wrote to her just to ask her if she had ever decided to go to church. Andrea never really considered it, but she wrote back on a scrap piece that she would go the next week. Vash wasn't too exited, but Andrea threatened him to come along "or else". Trouble seemed to follow that man around alot, and she needed to keep a good eye on him.
--SUNDAY MORNING; 10:00 AM.--
"Hurry up, or we'll be late!!"
"Its not my fault your stupid daggers ended up in the wash and tore all my stuff!!"
"Oh yes it is. I SAW you putting my good THROWING KNIVES into the washing bin yesterday! Don't you dare try to weasel out of a lecture."
"Awwww."
"Busted. Heheh. Now MOVE."
Andrea shoved Vash out the door. "March, Saverem."
"I'm not in your stupid bootcamp!"
"I don't care! You live your life without caring about anything. Its time you learn something about responsibility and discipline."
"Fine."
They finally got to the small church. Vash was a little uneasy so his clumsiness and loud nature were amplified several times. Andrea by now, though, had learned to tune it out subconciously. They walked in, and Andrea took off her hat and traveling cloak and hung them on one of the many coatracks near the doors. She noticed a huge cross in cloth and belts leaning on the right side next to one of the racks. "Hmm...that's odd. Oh well, its a church. Probably some new wooden cross to put above the pulpit or something and its still wrapped up in the packaging. Whatever." Andrea walked into the main area with the wooden pews lined up in two sections; one on the right, and one on the left. Vash hung back, staring at it. He mouthed wordlessly. Andrea noticed he wasn't following. "Come on, Alex." she pulled him to the left side and sat somewhere in one of the middle rows next to a man in all black. Vash simply refused to sit next to Andrea.
"Nope. N-not gonna sit there. No way no how. You aren't going to make me." he folded his arms and sat in the middle walkway crosslegged. Andrea sighed. "Whatever," she said. "Have it your way. I'm not complaining."
Vash looked sad. "Ouch." he said. "That was cold. Real cold, lady."
--An hour later.--
The service let out. Andrea hung back to ask the preacher if she could borrow a bible for a while. The man in black stayed as well, and looked periodicly over at Vash. Vash himself was making little squeaky noises, twitching, and clinging to the side of the pew.
Andrea came out of the preacher's office, looking more serene than she had been since she had left her fathers'.
"Well come on, Alex, let's go." she started to make her way up the isle.
"So THAT'S what you call him."
"Huh?" Andrea looked over to see who spoke. It was the man in black, holding the huge cross over his shoulder.
"Wha...." Vash tried to make a break for it but Andrea automaticly pulled his collar back.
"ACK! Hey, what's the idea? Can't you see I want to leave?" Vash struggled with his shirt collar in vain against Andrea's iron grip.
She ignored Vash. "Are you new in town? Haven't I seen you before?"
Wolfwood sighed, and looked at Vash. "I've been following this guy around for quite a while and he lost me, and I've been looking for him even since. Isn't that right, VASH?"
"Alex" turned pale. :"Awww, shut up, NICKIE. Stop kidding around. Just because I look like the famous outlaw, doesn't mean I am all that good-looking."
Andrea rolled her eyes. Wolfwood luckily got a slight hint, and played along a little. "Nice to see you again then, Needle Nogin." he turned to Andrea. "I see life has been a little hard on you. You really should hide those throwing knives and pistol better, though. But if you're carrying weapons, I'm sure you've used them. There is pain behind your smile. Would you like to talk about it?" It took Andrea more off guard than he expected. She really thought he was serious, and had an expression between bewilderment and utter confusion. "Well first sir, I'd like to know you're name. Out of curiosity, if I go any farther in greetings."
Vash shook his head and tried once more to be free of Andrea's collar-hold. He slumped down into the pew in despair. It made Wolfwood laugh. He held out his hand. "My name is Nicholas D. Wolfwood. A traveling priest who helps out the orphanage not too far from December. And you?"
He seemed nice enough, if not a little strange.
She shook Nick's hand. "Mine is Andrea Fariante. My father is Matthew Fariante, head of the..." she explained her job in the town. Vash looked up pleadingly at Nick, and the light of an epifany lit his face for a moment. "Your seventeen, are you? And already a bounty hunter. That's too young to be involved in killing."
"So there's a certain age when its right to freely kill?" Vash jumped up. "NO!! THERE ISN'T!" They both blinked at Vash, and faced each other again.
"No."
"Then what's with the 'Seventeen is too young to kill.' comment?"
"Now, miss, I didn't say that."
"Ok, so you didn't persay, but..."
"I meant something like you've grown up too fast."
"I've...only killed one person...it changes you forever though." Andrea's face darkened. Vash was shocked. "But WHY?!"
Andrea looked at him. "I'm a bounty hunter, dumbass, its my job." Vash sniffed.
Wolfwood forced a hollow laugh. "I knew it." and from nowhere he produced a tiny replica of a church and rammed it onto Andrea's head before she realized what he had done. With her hair, sticking upish style as it was, the bottom of the church reached just above her mouth. "What the hell?!"
"Come on," he said, smiling, "I KNOW you've got something else to confess. Just place the coin in here and--"
"I ain't placing anything anywhere. But I will confess something. You shouldn't have to pay to listen." she sat and pulled Nick down with her.
"Let's see. I'll start from when I was a kid, say,--before I--before I met my father..." she put her hands behind her head and stared through the tiny windows at the real church ceiling.
"I kicked several kids when I was little because they made me spill my water, I bullied a kid seven years older than me, I made my younger brother eat his socks, I threw sand into my third cousin twice removed on my mother's side's face, I'm secretly naieve, my ass is really hurting right now from sitting here, I killed that man whose bounty I was after, I spent my share on better knives and a new pistol, my dad spits coffee on you when he's shocked, I cheated on my homework by forcing my older brother to do it, I threw an apple at my teacher's head three times in fifteen minutes, then I ran away from home and lived off cactus water and lizard jerky til I was thirteen, met my father, evesdropped on his private meetings all too often....."
--an hour later--
"...I waste water, I kind of like you Alex, that tall blue-haired telepathic guy scares me, I used to wear boxers, I bit the head off a live chicken once, I burned my dad's shoes out of curiosity to see what would happen, I shaved my head when I was fifteen because I was bored, that stupid black cat that follows Alex around really pisses me off, I hate paperwork, I got so mad at my homework last year I lined all my textbooks up and shot holes through them, I got suspended from my school eight times, I licked a barbwire fence, I fell out of a tree onto my head at Little Arcadia, I used to eat grass there, I drink mildly, I've never had a hangover, I get sick at least five times a year, I think donuts are disgusting, spegetti confuses me, I'm wearing my special boots with the knife inside both the soles, I believe in the existence of kangaroos, I've seen a flower before, I stared into a plant and saw someone looking back, my house---"
Wolfwood pulled a chunk of hair out. "ALRIGHT! YOU DON'T HAVE TO PAY! JUST BE QUIET! PLEASE!!"
Vash was asleep on the pew and mumbled something. Andrea took the church off. "All that stuff's true you know. I'm usually alot nicer to people but I'm starting to harden, I guess. My life hasn't been very...good. There have been so many times as a kid that I was nearly shot, beaten, starved, dehydrated, strangled, hanged, slapped, and stabbed to death I've lost count. When I was six I ran away from home. My mother was a stupid whore, and she had so many kids that....well....I won't continue. I ran away because I didn't want to be there anymore. Then when I was thirteen my dad found me. Not my real father. But I when I told him I wanted to become a bounty hunter he let me do it. And now...I'm here. I'm really tired right now. I think I'll go home. Thanks for you time, Mr. Priest." Andrea stood up and lightly punched Vash on the head to wake him up. She practicly dragged him out.
"Hey!" Andrea heard a voice behind her, and turned to see Wolfwood running out of the church towards her with the cross. "You wouldn't mind if I stayed with you? I'm all out of money and..."
"Oh save it, Nicholas. I'm generous, but don't lay the butter on me to cheat me out of another bed. You sleep on the couch."
"Praise the Lord! God bless you."
Andrea shook her head, smiling. After an hour with Wolfwood, it was pretty easy to see he wasn't a "normal" priest...in most ways....
******
Yup. Knew it. Writting weird stories/chapters/whatevers IS a disease. Keep them pixie-stix a comin'!! :D~~
-_-;
***********
Chapter Five: Enter Wolfwood! The Hunter's Confessions
The last chapter, Andrea and Vash have a talk about personal space. o_O;
********
If Andrea hadn't been so stressed out with all the random breakouts, thefts, murders, massacres, and explosions that went on in New July, and with 'Alex', she would have noticed an odd pattern forming. Every time she came very close to finding the Humanoid Typhoon, Alex would somehow end up at the end of her trail or would at least screw something up. And if Andrea had been describing the whole thing in detail to a close friend, it would have become increasingly obvious who and where Vash the Stampede really was.
Luckily--or not--Andrea kept everything to herself. New July was still...new, and supplies were hard to find and very expensive to buy. She wrote a quick letter to her father explaining that she would not be writting for a while due to lack of paper in the town and that she was simply conserving it for her extensive paperwork. Alex didn't seem as uptight about everything, except when any comment of Vash the Stampede or her good progress in work was mentioned.
"Huh? What red coat?!"
*****
Sunday rolled around. Andrea's father Matthew wrote to her just to ask her if she had ever decided to go to church. Andrea never really considered it, but she wrote back on a scrap piece that she would go the next week. Vash wasn't too exited, but Andrea threatened him to come along "or else". Trouble seemed to follow that man around alot, and she needed to keep a good eye on him.
--SUNDAY MORNING; 10:00 AM.--
"Hurry up, or we'll be late!!"
"Its not my fault your stupid daggers ended up in the wash and tore all my stuff!!"
"Oh yes it is. I SAW you putting my good THROWING KNIVES into the washing bin yesterday! Don't you dare try to weasel out of a lecture."
"Awwww."
"Busted. Heheh. Now MOVE."
Andrea shoved Vash out the door. "March, Saverem."
"I'm not in your stupid bootcamp!"
"I don't care! You live your life without caring about anything. Its time you learn something about responsibility and discipline."
"Fine."
They finally got to the small church. Vash was a little uneasy so his clumsiness and loud nature were amplified several times. Andrea by now, though, had learned to tune it out subconciously. They walked in, and Andrea took off her hat and traveling cloak and hung them on one of the many coatracks near the doors. She noticed a huge cross in cloth and belts leaning on the right side next to one of the racks. "Hmm...that's odd. Oh well, its a church. Probably some new wooden cross to put above the pulpit or something and its still wrapped up in the packaging. Whatever." Andrea walked into the main area with the wooden pews lined up in two sections; one on the right, and one on the left. Vash hung back, staring at it. He mouthed wordlessly. Andrea noticed he wasn't following. "Come on, Alex." she pulled him to the left side and sat somewhere in one of the middle rows next to a man in all black. Vash simply refused to sit next to Andrea.
"Nope. N-not gonna sit there. No way no how. You aren't going to make me." he folded his arms and sat in the middle walkway crosslegged. Andrea sighed. "Whatever," she said. "Have it your way. I'm not complaining."
Vash looked sad. "Ouch." he said. "That was cold. Real cold, lady."
--An hour later.--
The service let out. Andrea hung back to ask the preacher if she could borrow a bible for a while. The man in black stayed as well, and looked periodicly over at Vash. Vash himself was making little squeaky noises, twitching, and clinging to the side of the pew.
Andrea came out of the preacher's office, looking more serene than she had been since she had left her fathers'.
"Well come on, Alex, let's go." she started to make her way up the isle.
"So THAT'S what you call him."
"Huh?" Andrea looked over to see who spoke. It was the man in black, holding the huge cross over his shoulder.
"Wha...." Vash tried to make a break for it but Andrea automaticly pulled his collar back.
"ACK! Hey, what's the idea? Can't you see I want to leave?" Vash struggled with his shirt collar in vain against Andrea's iron grip.
She ignored Vash. "Are you new in town? Haven't I seen you before?"
Wolfwood sighed, and looked at Vash. "I've been following this guy around for quite a while and he lost me, and I've been looking for him even since. Isn't that right, VASH?"
"Alex" turned pale. :"Awww, shut up, NICKIE. Stop kidding around. Just because I look like the famous outlaw, doesn't mean I am all that good-looking."
Andrea rolled her eyes. Wolfwood luckily got a slight hint, and played along a little. "Nice to see you again then, Needle Nogin." he turned to Andrea. "I see life has been a little hard on you. You really should hide those throwing knives and pistol better, though. But if you're carrying weapons, I'm sure you've used them. There is pain behind your smile. Would you like to talk about it?" It took Andrea more off guard than he expected. She really thought he was serious, and had an expression between bewilderment and utter confusion. "Well first sir, I'd like to know you're name. Out of curiosity, if I go any farther in greetings."
Vash shook his head and tried once more to be free of Andrea's collar-hold. He slumped down into the pew in despair. It made Wolfwood laugh. He held out his hand. "My name is Nicholas D. Wolfwood. A traveling priest who helps out the orphanage not too far from December. And you?"
He seemed nice enough, if not a little strange.
She shook Nick's hand. "Mine is Andrea Fariante. My father is Matthew Fariante, head of the..." she explained her job in the town. Vash looked up pleadingly at Nick, and the light of an epifany lit his face for a moment. "Your seventeen, are you? And already a bounty hunter. That's too young to be involved in killing."
"So there's a certain age when its right to freely kill?" Vash jumped up. "NO!! THERE ISN'T!" They both blinked at Vash, and faced each other again.
"No."
"Then what's with the 'Seventeen is too young to kill.' comment?"
"Now, miss, I didn't say that."
"Ok, so you didn't persay, but..."
"I meant something like you've grown up too fast."
"I've...only killed one person...it changes you forever though." Andrea's face darkened. Vash was shocked. "But WHY?!"
Andrea looked at him. "I'm a bounty hunter, dumbass, its my job." Vash sniffed.
Wolfwood forced a hollow laugh. "I knew it." and from nowhere he produced a tiny replica of a church and rammed it onto Andrea's head before she realized what he had done. With her hair, sticking upish style as it was, the bottom of the church reached just above her mouth. "What the hell?!"
"Come on," he said, smiling, "I KNOW you've got something else to confess. Just place the coin in here and--"
"I ain't placing anything anywhere. But I will confess something. You shouldn't have to pay to listen." she sat and pulled Nick down with her.
"Let's see. I'll start from when I was a kid, say,--before I--before I met my father..." she put her hands behind her head and stared through the tiny windows at the real church ceiling.
"I kicked several kids when I was little because they made me spill my water, I bullied a kid seven years older than me, I made my younger brother eat his socks, I threw sand into my third cousin twice removed on my mother's side's face, I'm secretly naieve, my ass is really hurting right now from sitting here, I killed that man whose bounty I was after, I spent my share on better knives and a new pistol, my dad spits coffee on you when he's shocked, I cheated on my homework by forcing my older brother to do it, I threw an apple at my teacher's head three times in fifteen minutes, then I ran away from home and lived off cactus water and lizard jerky til I was thirteen, met my father, evesdropped on his private meetings all too often....."
--an hour later--
"...I waste water, I kind of like you Alex, that tall blue-haired telepathic guy scares me, I used to wear boxers, I bit the head off a live chicken once, I burned my dad's shoes out of curiosity to see what would happen, I shaved my head when I was fifteen because I was bored, that stupid black cat that follows Alex around really pisses me off, I hate paperwork, I got so mad at my homework last year I lined all my textbooks up and shot holes through them, I got suspended from my school eight times, I licked a barbwire fence, I fell out of a tree onto my head at Little Arcadia, I used to eat grass there, I drink mildly, I've never had a hangover, I get sick at least five times a year, I think donuts are disgusting, spegetti confuses me, I'm wearing my special boots with the knife inside both the soles, I believe in the existence of kangaroos, I've seen a flower before, I stared into a plant and saw someone looking back, my house---"
Wolfwood pulled a chunk of hair out. "ALRIGHT! YOU DON'T HAVE TO PAY! JUST BE QUIET! PLEASE!!"
Vash was asleep on the pew and mumbled something. Andrea took the church off. "All that stuff's true you know. I'm usually alot nicer to people but I'm starting to harden, I guess. My life hasn't been very...good. There have been so many times as a kid that I was nearly shot, beaten, starved, dehydrated, strangled, hanged, slapped, and stabbed to death I've lost count. When I was six I ran away from home. My mother was a stupid whore, and she had so many kids that....well....I won't continue. I ran away because I didn't want to be there anymore. Then when I was thirteen my dad found me. Not my real father. But I when I told him I wanted to become a bounty hunter he let me do it. And now...I'm here. I'm really tired right now. I think I'll go home. Thanks for you time, Mr. Priest." Andrea stood up and lightly punched Vash on the head to wake him up. She practicly dragged him out.
"Hey!" Andrea heard a voice behind her, and turned to see Wolfwood running out of the church towards her with the cross. "You wouldn't mind if I stayed with you? I'm all out of money and..."
"Oh save it, Nicholas. I'm generous, but don't lay the butter on me to cheat me out of another bed. You sleep on the couch."
"Praise the Lord! God bless you."
Andrea shook her head, smiling. After an hour with Wolfwood, it was pretty easy to see he wasn't a "normal" priest...in most ways....
******
Yup. Knew it. Writting weird stories/chapters/whatevers IS a disease. Keep them pixie-stix a comin'!! :D~~