Disclaimer: Would anyone really believe me if I said yes? Didn't bloody think so. Neither do I own the song "The closest thing to crazy" from Katie Melua.

"Second chances"

By Chiisana Anisa

"Melding the broken"

How can I think I'm standing strong?

Yet feel the air beneath my feet.

How can happiness feel so wrong?

How can misery feel so sweet?

After all the time spent grieving about the past, now I was grieving that it didn't stay there.

The evening was cold, as predicted. The coffee inside my favorite cup was already cold, like the fresh air in the winters morning. And my mind completely on point blank. Mother called in on late, telling she was going on a dinner with her friends, which suited me perfectly. I really needed time to think to myself, to decide what next.

I have been sitting here for the past two hours, staring out the window. The rain stopped falling half an hour ago, and I found it sad it did. Before, while it lasted I had a feeling I'm not crying alone. But alas, my tears have long gone dry. The blanket around me slipped down more, revealing my shoulders and bringing the coldness closer to my body.

What was I supposed to do?

I didn't know which decision was the right one. My good heart whispered that I should listen to it, to do something selfish for my self, just this time. My mind told me that it would be idiotic to listen to my heart, and my inner miko told me to do as I please. Big help... Still, something told me that I was going to choose my heart... It was time to meld it back and give myself a chance of finally being lucky in my life. It was really about damned time.

Flashback

That dreadful tears finally subsided and my circle of seeing spread. It wasn't a dream, he was really sitting there, like so many times before, casual style like no years, seven even, passed. I felt wounded, and excited and... sorrowful. When my heart finally accepted that this picture before me is real I've let my mind go free wandering off, to give it some time to collect itself. I wasn't however, entirely sure if that was the smartest thing to do.

So because of that, his name appeared on my swollen lips, and it rolled out slowly, almost painfully, and it felt wrong to say it and for him to really be here to hear it.

"Inuyasha.."

He got up, in a motion so familiar. I watched him carefully, observed him like a painting that has deserved my utter attention for its beauty and grace. He remained the same, with slight changes. His height grew even more, but his hair stayed the same. The silky mane cascaded down his back in the same unruly manner it always has. His body, I could say, developed a bit more, his muscles spreading. But his eyes were the ones that draw the most attention.

They were old.

How can you let me watch you sleep?

Then break my dreams the way you do.

How can I have got in so deep?

Why did i fall in love with you?

An emotion she never expected to see in his eyes, yet she's looking at it right now. Odd reflection of an old man's eyes showed in those more gold than amber orbs, it swam inside, circling and for a moment she thought they are trying to hide from her. Why did his eyes look so old?

She could also detect joy for seeing her again, the same it was in her eyes, probably. But besides oldness, another emotions swirled. Like sorrow, or remorse... something close to pitifulness. She didn't like it.

"What are... How did.. Inuyasha?"

Questions that built up in her brain didn't make sense whatsoever, she just couldn't make one reasonable sentence. He didn't look very different.

"I... The Well..." He stammered. It wasn't easy for him either. Will she be angry? Will she accept him again? Most importantly - did she wait for him?

"I'm here Kagome."

Those words were all it took for Kagome to jump and throw herself into his tall frame, clinging hands around his neck, and short puffs of air on his chest, mingling with tears. "I'm so glad!"

His hands encircled her small body bringing her close, so close. He held her strongly, the thought of never letting go playing in his mind. He missed her more than the air itself, and she was the 'IT' in his life. The one thing he would die and cry for. He let himself enjoy in her closeness, breathing in her scent, fresh as the spring like it always was, bit of saltiness in it from all the cried tears. But it was hers and it was very dear to him.

Kagome on the other hand, breathed his scent also, her hands clasping even tighter around his neck, her fists grabbing his hair and pulling. But he didn't protest. Her hands ached to touch his silver ears, but now it was more important to convince her mind that they were finally together.

Moments passed before they managed to recollect themselves. When they pulled away a big, happy smile stretched its way across both of their faces and Kagome motioned for Inuyasha to sit back down. She was very well aware they still had a lot to work and figure out. The past really brought only problems for them.

"First tell me how you got here." She wanted to know. How come he succeeded where she had failed?

Inuyasha held her hands and he knew it would hurt her what he had to say. He had enough of breaking her heart, of course he knew she was a strong woman, but sometimes too much was too much.

"I would like to apologize first, Koiishi." She smiled again upon hearing his endearment for her. She was explained that was the way mates called each other, especially males their females. She liked it just because those little words made her feel more than special.

"I have already forgiven you Anata."

This is the closest thing to crazy

I have ever been.

Feeling twenty-two, acting seventeen.

This is the nearest thing to crazy

I have ever known.

But I was never crazy on my own.

And now I know

That there's a link between the two,

Being close to craziness, and being close to you

Inuyasha grinned. So she didn't forget, he thought. And she had no idea how much hope it brought him to hear it. For what was to come was far more graver than all the sweet words. "I know. But listen. I will tell you everything you ask of me... It will hurt you. Do you really want to hear it?"

Kagome blinked and breathed in hard. What made him so tense? Did really something so terrible happen that brought him such pain to even talk about it... "I want to know. Tell me how you got here."

He said only one word and her world came tumbling down. "Kikyou." That dreadful name that brought panic and misery to her for most of her teenage years. Something brutal cut at her heart and she felt cold. She trembled, like icy hands traveled over skin lightly on the surface rising the hairs on her hands. Inuyasha noticed.

"Are you all right?"

No, she wasn't all right! How was she supposed to be all right?! Her eyes settled on his, the look in them giving him a picture of a damaged heart. "Kagome, let me explain... Please."

Although she didn't want to hear another word, no matter that she said she did, now it sickened her to death. She nodded her head numbly, her gaze lovering at his hands still holding hers. Terrible thoughts of him holding Kikyou flew through her head and she felt bitterness.

"You really don't have to worry about her. She made it possible for me to come by sacrificing herself. She gave away all of her powers, the ones she had left to open up the Well for me to pass, to come back to you."

Something cruel picked up in her, floating from her stomach to her head and anger appeared. When she spoke her voice sounded malicious. "But why now? Why not seven years ago?!" She rose from her seat and stood before him while he looked at her sudden change of mood confused.

"Well... I couldn't find her. I looked for her because I knew she was the only one who could help me. But she vanished and was nowhere to be found. We all searched for her, and looked forward to any news about her for a long, long time. But as the days passed we all started believing she was dead. So my hope died, and years passed..."

Kagome now felt a bit guilty for being able to anger her nerves to quickly, for judging him before she heard the story. "And then?"

"Then last year she returned, came back to the village. We were surprised, me mostly. But she was still put up on sending me to Hell. She was angry and full of vengeance. She blamed me for everything that happened in the mean time, but she wouldn't speak about it openly. It took me almost a year, whole year to convince her to help me. It wasn't easy." Inuyasha sighed, remembering how much it lasted for Kikyou to change and accept the fact that Inuyasha and Kagome are now mates.

"So with the time she understood that she could never have me back. Something broke inside of her and she changed. I was really stunned by it. And she offered her help in the end. So now I'm here. I'm here..." At this he got up and hugged her again, and seconds passed before he felt her melting in his hands. He was relieved that she wasn't angry anymore.

"The fight we had..." He started again, but she raised her hand and put two fingers on his lips, hushing him. Her eyes now spoke of forgiveness and also regret that the fight ever happened. They could have been happy for seven years, yes they could have.

"Don't. I think it's time we stop talking about the past. We need to talk about the future." He nodded, agreeing with her decision and deciding to go over the fight and everything else. He cupped her face in his large hands gently and carefully not to harm her with his claws.

"What do you have in mind Koi?"

How can you let me fall apart?

Then break my fall with loving lies.

It's so easy to break a heart,

It's so easy to close your eyes.

Kagome bent her head down, she didn't think about it. She only prayed for him to come back to her, to love him again and hold him close. She never thought about what after, where would they live, would she go back with him, will he stay with her if she asked him?

"What do you want to do?"

Inuyasha knew now was coming the second part of the story. The part where he had made his live more live-able without her by his side. "I know only one thing. You need to know that I have a life back in the Sengoku Jidai. I've built a house near Kaede's village, Miroku and Sango too. The villagers are kind to me, to us all. I've lived there since you left, and although it tears my heart to ask you, I'm still going to plead you to go back to me."

Kagome looked up quickly. "Are you asking me to leave everything behind? To leave my family and my work? When we are at it, why didn't you say anything that day? Why didn't you..?"

"I don't know. I wanted to see you reaction to the story, to hear your opinion. I didn't know if you remarried, like you say in your time, taken another mate and had a happy new life."

Tears broke the damp again. Didn't he trust her? "How could you even think of that?! I love you Inuyasha, and I never, ever thought of having another man by my side. Never!!"

"I'm really sorry for doubting you love, but I just... I don't know what I was thinking."

They both shut up, silence surrounding their forms in the middle of the living room. They stood, at arms length, thinking hard about what next to say and not to get angry to each other, or cry. Kagome didn't stand this waiting so she opened up first.

"Oh Inuyasha! Why life didn't support us... Does it mean we were never meant to be?"

He looked at her like she has gone mad. Where did she get that crazy idea?

"Kagome... Don't think that way. I know we are meant to be or else you would have never traveled through time. I just know, we are right for each other."

Kagome smiled, now realizing the oldness in his eyes. Her sweet, grumpy Inuyasha has grown up, really truly grown up. She felt proud at him, but the question about her living her life here still brought doubt and and a forlorn sense of an odd despair.

"There's something else you should know Koi. I need to go back. I'll leave the decision to you, and you alone. I won't put pressure on you, I really don't want to. If needed I'll come to your time, you just need to send me a note through the Well. But I must go back, now."

Fear gripped at her senses and she clutched his hands, desperate in the try to hold him here. "Kagome, you need to let me go. Please. Everyone is waiting for me..."

"No! I need you! I want you here with me!" She pleaded with his and hers reason, terror spreading though her veins in a destructive manner, her heart terrified she will lose him again. "What if...?"

His lips came down on hers with such speed she was left breath taken. How long it has been since he had kissed her like this... So much time has passed since she felt his love in this kind of a soul shattering kiss that bonded them together, that melted the time differences between them, the kiss that made all the bad things go away...

How can you treat me like a child?

Yet like a child I yearn for you.

How can anyone feel so wild?

How can anyone feel so blue?

Her defenses crumbled down, heart eyelids fluttered closed and her cheeks were painted pink, since she felt like a teenager again. She was happy in that one moment. Then as soon as it started, it was over and she could only hear him whisper softly goodbye before he went out in a blur of motions. But she didn't feel abandoned, not for a second. That crazy happiness circled her in a mist and stubbornly refused to let go.

End of flashback

So now she was sitting here and thinking about her actions. What was she supposed to do? She didn't want to live in solitude anymore, she had enough of loneliness, the mornings cold and empty without her love, her heart damned to suffer... She had enough. She rose from her seat and went upstairs to her room, numb like before, but not in the same way. This numbness she felt was a pleasure-full one, one that promised something good, which was odd.

She questioned her sanity and even contemplated visiting a doctor herself, to check if she was all right. But she laughed at that idea. What kind of a doctor for the soul was she if she couldn't cure herself from craziness?

This is the closest thing to crazy

I have ever been.

Feeling twenty-two, acting seventeen.

This is the nearest thing to crazy

I have ever known.

I was never crazy on my own.

And now I know

That there's a link between the two,

Being close to craziness, and being close to you

She let her body fall on the bed and before she knew it tears streaked down her cheeks. She started sobbing loudly and pressed a pillow to her mouth to quiet her sobs. She knew her decision the moment he asked her and now she gave permission to her sorrow to wash over her in waves. But the pain behind it became intolerant. What would she say to her mother? To her brother? Would they understand and let her go? She lied there on her back crying, tears rolling down following the fine line of her eyelids and going down to her ears. Then she cried quietly, the sobs passing away, but her frame shook with the troubles brooding in her mind.

Finally, the tears stopped and she plucked up the courage to get up and looked out through the window of her room. She was exhausted and the day was ending. It was time to do something. She told herself it was time to move and get in action. She changed in a rush and all but ran downstairs, straight to the kitchen. There she saw her mother sitting at the very same spot she was in minutes ago. She didn't even hear her come in.

Her mother turned and read all from her face. A sad smile adored her a bit old face, and for a moment strong wave of loneliness tightened in her that she had to grip the edge of the fridge not to fall down. Her mothers face now showed worry, but Kagome straightened up.

"Mom..."

Bekka got up and walked to her daughter. She knew, she has always known that if Inuyasha ever found a way to come, she was to lose her daughter immediately. She also knew the time will come for her to let go. So she kissed Kagome's forehead, gently in a way only known to mothers and smiled. One word spoke it all for both of them.

"Go."

And being close to you

Kagome felt on the verge of tears again, and dumbly asked herself how much did she cry in these past two days. She had no idea. She kissed her mother back on the cheek, her mouth whispering many thank you's, and left the house not once turning back. Her legs carried her right across the yard to the Well, the path well known and implanted in her memory. If needed she would know how to get there blindfolded. But arriving there she stopped, that fear and sorrow reappearing again in her whole body.

Was she doing the right thing?

Then one thought of a life with Inuyasha filled her with happiness and she felt surprised by it. She felt warm and light headed. But that was all right. It was good to feel like that, after all this years. Her life sometimes gave her a feeling like she was in ferie wheel that never stopped on a good place. But climbing on the rim of the Well and looking down, she could swear she felt luck was smiling up to her face. She knew that the first thing she would see would be Inuyasha's happy face and once, just this one time she would let her self believe in all that stuff about second chances.

After all, she got her second one and who was she not to use it when it presented itself in the reach of her arm?

And being close to you . . .

THE END

AN: That's it folks! It's finally finished, although I'm not quite happy with it. I will leave it as it is for now, but when I find the time to go over it and give it one good make over I'll repost it.

I thank you all for your kind words, they really meant a lot to me.

For all of you who like happy endings, read my another story "The love of Sayonara". I love it very much and I'm very proud of it. Also there are two ideas in my bio for the next stories on Inuyasha. Check it out and see if you'll come back to read my stuff.

Once again I THANK YOU VERY MUCH for sticking through this for me. And I apologize for all the strange formatting and wording, my native tounge isn't English. I hope you enjoyed.

Love,

Anisa