Nicolas D. Wolfwood lay
on his back on the floor of the small church. He was drenched in his
own blood. He wasn't breathing. Vash the Stampede turned his back on
his friend, tears running down his face, he slowly started to walk
away. "He's dead," a voice whispered in the back of his
head. He was still dead as Vash broke into a run, and kept running,
never wanting to stop. Wolfwood was dead. Dead and gone.
A
bright light filled Wolfwood's head. It seemed to be all around him,
running through his veins like the blood he had lost. The light
swirled into patterns in front of his eyes. At first they formed
colors, and visions of a green place that seemed to be a garden. Eden
he thought, It must be. Then the vision of Eden faded. He didn't want
it to. If felt so warm there, and it was so green. But am even better
vision now filled his head and sight. It was Vash. In these moments
Wolfwood's mind wandered, as did his eyes. Looking Vash up and down,
it seemed as if Vash were really there. I love you Tongari. He tried
to say to Vash. The man in red turned his back, looked sadly over his
shoulder at Wolfwood, and began to talk away into the light. Wolfwood
reached out to him, maybe trying to catch a piece of Vash's coat. His
hand would have landed on Vash's shoulder, but were rough fabric and
lean muscle should have been he found only air. His hand had gone
right through Vash. Wolfwood looked at his hand. It was fading, just
as Vash was. The vision of Eden returning where Vash should have
been. Wolfwood didn't want it to. No, Vash come back. Please!
Wolfwood began to run in the direction of Vash, but as his feet were
moving he was not. Suddenly he fell, and hit something solid that
felt like stone. A flash of pain ran up his back. It was the first
real feeling he had had since he had found the light. Then he was
cold. Colder than he had ever been in his life. He never would have
felt that cold if Vash were there, he knew that. Vash would keep him
warm. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew that if he stayed in
this cold place he would never see Vash again. Now he couldn't tell
if his eyes were opened or closed. It was dark, and Wolfwood was
dizzy. He needed to find the light and Vash again. His heart was
telling him that he was running out of time. Again, he forced his
eyes open and closed. This seemed to be the first step in getting up.
Lord. If you haven't forsaken me for the sins of my life, please let
me live. After what seemed like an eternity his eyes began to focus.
When he could see clearly he was staring at a stone ceiling.
It
was then that it all started to come back. Knives, Legato, and the
Gung- ho Guns flooded his mind. Memories of death, betrayal, and a
love that was never returned flashed before his eyes. He realized
that he was lucky to be alive, and that for some time he hadn't
been alive at all. He carefully tried to move. Pain shot through his
entire body, except, that is, for his left leg. He couldn't feel it
at all. Pushing what that could mean to the back of his mind he set
to the task of getting some help. He had no idea in hell how he was
going to do that, and it occurred to him that he might have been
better off staying dead.
Three hours later Wolfwood was
hopping (and tripping) toward the door of the small church. At that
point he was beyond pain, and didn't feel anything at all. He managed
to push open the wooden doors. He was met with the cold wind, two
full moons, and shining stars. The cold air was like a slap to the
face, but he found that he had needed it. Wolfwood found that he was
out of breath, so he sat on the steps, leaning against the wall. He
took this time to examine the extent of his injures. Bulled wounds in
his hip, side, shoulder seemed to be the worst of them. The rest,
which he would later deny even having, were a cut on his upper arm,
numerous bruises, and a gash on his head that really should have been
up there with the Bulled wounds on the 'injures to be worried about'
list. He reached into his jacket pocket and found that he still had
his cigarettes and light. He lit one, and closed his eyes. He opened
them moments later, afraid that he would fall asleep. He had been
trying to formulate a plan, and one was starting to fall together. He
would walk (hop, drag himself, whatever you wanted to call it) into
the abandoned town, find a car, and drive off into the sunset. This
plan involved a large amount of praying and luck. He didn't even want
to think about what he would do if he could find a car, or if it
wouldn't start. He sat until his cigarettes had burnt itself down to
the filter. He then trusted himself enough to fall asleep.
The
light of the rising suns was what awoke him the next morning. The sky
was still a light pink when he began to head for town. It took him a
good part of the morning to get to the first house. He was thankful
that everybody had just up and left because this meant that there was
a bed for him to sleep in, food for him to ear, Booze for him to
drink, and, hopefully a car with gas for him to drive. Wolfwood was
almost dragging himself when he finally did reach the first house. He
was exhausted and starving. When he pulled himself through the small
from door he collapsed. The feeling of relief was overwhelming. He
lay there, in the small abandoned house, thinking about Vash for what
was not the first time in the past two days. He thought about how
nice it would be to be rescued by Vash from this little hell. He also
found himself daydreaming about how Vash would cry when he saw that
Wolfwood was still alive, how he would kiss Vash softly on the lips,
and how they would run away together from all of their problems, into
the sunset, and live happily ever after. Wolfwood knew that none of
this would ever happen, that faire tales never worked out like they
were supposed to in real life, even if you had planned it out
perfectly, that he would most likely die, weather it be from the loss
of blood or insanity, in this small little town, and that he would
never even see Vash again, much less be running off into any sunset
with him. These thought depressed the priest. He had learned early in
his life that he could not trust anybody. That he had to depend on
himself, and that many other innocent people would depend on him,
too.
Later, when he decided to look for the car, thought of
Vash still plagued his mind, thought he was trying to push them away.
There was sill the matter of what he would do it there was no car.
Wolfwood would rather face the thoughts of Vash that have to think
about what would happen if he were stuck there. He was almost brought
to tears when he discovered a jeep parked in back of the very house
he had taken 'residence' in. And, to top things off, the keys were in
the ignition. There really is a God! He thought...not that he had
ever doubted it. It looked as if things were finally going his
way.
He put his hand on the keys, praying to God that the
piece of shit would start, and turned them. The motor turned over,
but didn't start. Ok, he thought, stay clam. It'll work next time. It
didn't. Now he did cry. Short little sobs escaped his mouth, and
tears rolled down his cheeks. Yes, he had been better off dead. At
least that would have been quick, but now he had to wait for death in
a godforsaken little town. Now he didn't even have the energy to lift
himself from the jeep and go lay down in the bed. No, he instead used
what little energy he had to haul himself into the back seat, curled
up into as small of a ball as he could, and cried as he hadn't cried
in a long time. It was the cry of a damned, lost, and pathetic
soul.
An hour later he somehow managed to keep himself
together long enough to get back into the house, and into the bed.
Only to break down again.
Hours melted into days, dreams
melted into reality, and day into night. There was no difference
anymore. Wolfwood had barely gotten up save to occasionally eat or
take a piss. It was now becoming harder and harder to get around. He
still couldn't feel his left leg, but he no longer worried about it.
He didn't worry about much of anything, in fact. He could have died
and he probably wouldn't have even noticed.
One night (it
might have been day) when Wolfwood wasn't sure if he was really awake
or not, he felt himself being lifted out of his dirty little bed. He
opened his eyes and Vash was looking down at him.
"My
god, Nick," was all that Vash said. Wolfwood found himself being
hugged tightly by Vash. It should have hurt, but it didn't. The next
thing that Wolfwood knew he was in the back of another jeep, this one
ran, and then again this might just be another dream.
"I
can't believe he's still alive," came Vash's voice from the
driver's seat.
"He's one lucky Son of a bitch, that's for
sure. And for fuck's sake, will you stop crying!" Wolfwood
recognized the second voice as Knives. Wolfwood had only spoken with
Knives once, but that wasn't a voice easily forgotten. Confused, he
opened his eyes. He hadn't been hearing things. Knives was, indeed,
sitting in the passenger seat next to his twin. There was just too
much, and in the first time in god only knew how long he felt safe.
He closed his eyes, and let the hum on the motor lull him to
sleep.
When he opened his eyes, hours maybe days, later he was
laying in what he assumed to be a hospital bed. It seemed as if he
could once again feel pain, and was feeling a large amount of it at
the moment. Without moving he once again assessed all of his injuries
and their current status. The bullet wounds had been cleaned and
bandaged, along with the cut on his arm, and the large gash on his
head. His left leg had been set, which didn't explain what he hadn't
been able to feel it, but made sense. He hoped that someone noticed
that he was awake soon, because he had a hell of an itch in his nose.
As if he had heard Wolfwood's thoughts Vash appeared in Wolfwood's
vision. His eyes were red and somewhat puffy. Just as Wolfwood had
dreamed, he had gotten his tears.
"You jackass. The least
you could do is stay dead when you've caused me so much trouble,"
Vash sniffed, trying not to break down into tears again.
"I'll
remember that for next time," Wolfwood said dryly. It hurt to
talk.
"There won't be a next time. I won't let anybody
hurt you again. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you again,"
Vash said barley above a whisper. He closed his eyes for a moment.
Then, putting on his best fake smile, he said, "They say you're
gonna pull through!"
"Don't lie to me, Vash."
"I'm
not. They do think that you'll pull through. It's just that you
scared me so badly." Vash chocked back a sob. He had never been
any good at hiding his emotions from Wolfwood. Wolfwood decided to
risk pain, he opened his arms for Vash. "How bout a snuggle?"
was all that was said before Vash had his face buried in Wolfwood's
chest. Wolfwood wrapped his arms around Vash and held him close. Any
pain he would have felt was drown out by the smell and feel of
Vash.
"I'm sorry," Vash sniffed after a few
wonderful minutes, "I really shouldn't be holding you so
tightly." Wolfwood didn't say anything, but he held Vash closer.
He felt as if, at that moment, everything was right, and he didn't
want to face what would come if he let go.
"Why did you
come back? I thought you'd never go back to that town," Wolfwood
said once he trusted his voice enough.
"I couldn't just
leave you there. You deserve better than that."
"Thank
you. You have no idea how lucky I am."
"What's going
to happen now?" Vash asked, still in Wolfwood's arms.
"I
never know what's going to happen next, you know that Tongari. But I
suppose I'll ride off into the sunset again...if I can that
it."
"But I don't want you to ride off
again."
"Then you tell me what I should do,"
Wolfwood said. He himself had no idea what he was going to do either.
There hadn't been any point in thinking like that; it had only made
his depressed. He knew what he wanted to do. He wanted to stay with
Vash, but he wasn't sure if that's what Vash wanted. He had, after
all, betrayed Vash. Maybe Vash didn't really want his around at all.
Maybe, deep down, Vash hated him for what he did. He wanted to find
out.
"Do you hate me, Tongari?" Wolfwood asked. He
could be very blunt when he needed to be. Vash looked at his with
teary eyes.
"Why would I hate you?" Vash asked,
sounding almost hurt.
"I'm sorry, it's just that...after
what I did...I hate myself...I don't want you to, too"
"I
could never hate you, Wolf. I have no idea what I'd do without you."
Vash held onto Wolfwood like a lifeline.
"Alright. I just
wanted to make sure," Wolfwood said into Vash's shoulder. The
then decided to take a chance. He twisted a bit and kissed Vash on
the temple. "Because I love you, Vash." Vash pulled out of
Wolfwood's grip, and stood. Wolfwood panicked, thinking that Vash
would reject him. Vash was now standing at the side of the bed,
staring at him with wide eyes,
"You...do?" Wolfwood
nodded. "Good," Vash said very seriously, "Because I
love you too." Wolfwood smiled, and then laughed. Once he
started laughing he couldn't stop, and was in tears, gasping for
breath. Vash sat down on the bed and put his hand on Wolfwood's.
Wolfwood started crying on Vash's shoulder.
"It's scary
isn't it?" Vash asked softly. "If you had died I never
would have been able to tell you that. I don't think that I'd be able
to live with myself if that happened." Wolfwood sniffed and
stopped crying.
"I'm sorry. I've gotten you all wet,"
he said, smiling warmly, telling Vash that he didn't want to think
about what might have happened.
"I don't mind. You look
really cute when you smile. It makes me happy."
TO BE
CONTINUED?
That's it for now. I think that's enough for now,
don't you. i have a written version of this but it's soooooooo
different. only the first paragraph is the same. it's really long
though. i meant to type it, but then it just sort of changed into
this. hope you liked it. i had fun writing it. i love vash/wolfwood!
I love wolfwood soo much. you have NO idea. i've watched trigun like
soo many times, and every single time i watched paradise i cried. i
know that sounds stupid, but whatever. so after Wolf died i'm just
like 'this won't do!' (No i was really like 'WHAT THE FUCK!! HOW CAN
THEY DO THAT?!?! FUCK!!!!') i decided to write a fic (well, once i
calmed down) and i've just now gotten around to it.
