Chapter 6: Dixon & Vaughn's Talk

After Vaughn's encounter with Sydney, he went back to the elevator and entered the JTF rotunda. Just as he reaches his desk, his phone rings. "This is Vaughn."

"Hello, Agent Vaughn. Director Dixon would like to speak with you, if you have a moment."

"Uh, yeah…sure. I'll be right there."

"Thank you. I will let him know."

Vaughn stands up and walks towards Dixon's office. Well, I know he's not reassigning me, so I wonder what this is about. He gets to Dixon's door and knocks politely.

"Come in."

Vaughn opens the door and pokes his head in. "You wanted to see me, sir?"

"Yes, Agent Vaughn. Please come in and have a seat." Dixon gestures to one of the chairs in front of his desk, and Vaughn complies. Dixon stares at him for a moment, then gives him a small smile before he continues. "Sydney came in to see me…bright and early this morning." He notices that Vaughn does not seem surprised by this revelation. "Do you know why she was here?"

Vaughn nods his head and says simply, "Yes." Dixon glares at him, expecting him to continue. After a moment, he does. "She asked not to go on anymore missions with me…she asked not to be my partner anymore." Vaughn's voice starts to crack with pent-up emotion. "I also know that you denied her request."

Dixon raises his eyebrows, a bit surprised that he already knew that. "So…you have spoken to Sydney this morning?"

"Yes. She was exiting the elevator in the parking garage as I was about to enter it. We spoke for a few moments, and then she left."

"Can you give me an explanation as to why Sydney would make such a request?"

Vaughn lets out a sigh, then swallows hard – not sure of how much to reveal. He doesn't want Dixon to change his mind. "I believe this was a result of our mission in North Korea."

"Uh huh…" Dixon gives him a hard look, then asks, "Was there something that happened, but that did not get written down in your debrief? Because I don't recall anything in your report that would have prepared me for the conversation I had with Agent Bristow this morning."

"Dixon…," Vaughn pleads, "…you are one of the few people who knows about my predicament. I intentionally left out a few things that could have potentially compromised my cover with Lauren."

"Such as…?"

He's not going to let this go, is he? Crap! "Well, when Sydney…I mean, Agent Bristow and I were in the cell waiting for our executioners, I attempted to express my true feelings for her, seeing as it was a 'life or death' situation. She…uh…wouldn't let me say the words, but told me that she already knew. Then, we…uh…we kissed."

Dixon looks down for a moment. Just as I suspected. He gets up from his chair and walks over to the chair beside Vaughn, angling it towards the other agent as he leans forward, elbows on his knees and hands clasped together. Vaughn turns his chair slightly to face him as well. "Vaughn…your little revelation is not a big surprise to me. I've been amazed that you have been able to hold back for this long."

Vaughn lets out a breath that he didn't know he was holding. Relief washed over his face when he realizes Dixon isn't angry with him. "When we survived, I knew that I still had a mission to fulfill. It tore me up inside, knowing that I had let my guard down with her, only to have to put the mask back on as soon as we got back. I was worried about her, so I asked Weiss to go check on her. I guess she told him some of the story regarding her missing years and she broke down. Weiss stayed with her last night and I think he is planning to stay there today, too."

"Yes, I had a message from Agent Weiss that was left early this morning."

"Anyway, Eric was suppose to call me after he checked on her. It got later and later, but he hadn't called. I finally got a hold of him on his cell phone, and while we were talking, Syd had a nightmare of some kind and was screaming. It scared me to death! Weiss woke her up and let me talk to her. When she calmed down, she put her own wall back up and shut me out. That's when she told me that she was going to ask to be reassigned."

"I see…" Dixon sits back, contemplating what Vaughn has told him so far.

"Dixon – I don't know what to do anymore! Jack had told me to be cruel to her, because my 'kindness tortures her' – and I tried that. Because of what happened in North Korea, she now knows that was an act. If I get too comfortable around her, then there is a danger of Lauren getting suspicious. God…each time I'm with her I just want to hold her…touch her…take away all the pain and anguish of everything she's been through. I'm trying to be strong…reminding myself that I'm doing this for her. But it is slowly killing me. Maybe Syd's right…maybe we just need to stay away from each other completely. I'm tired of causing her so much pain. She doesn't deserve that, and I think I'm making it worse for her."

"I agree. But I have thought of a better way for you and Sydney to handle working together." Vaughn looks at Dixon – he's intrigued. Dixon stands up and walks slowly towards the other side of the room, his back to Vaughn, as he speaks, "Agent Vaughn, I think it would be in the best interest of both parties, as well as the Agency, for you to reveal your deep cover assignment to Sydney."

Vaughn shakes his head, sure that he heard him wrong. He stands up and Dixon turns to face him. "What did you say?"

"I said that you have my permission to tell Agent Bristow the truth about your marriage."

"I don't understand. Kendall told me to maintain my cover at all costs. Did he agree to this?"

"Kendall does not work out of this office anymore. Besides, I don't think Kendall has a true appreciation for you and Sydney's work relationship. I've read your file, Vaughn – and Syd's, too. That's what I told her this morning – that to bring down the Covenant, we needed the 'best of the best.' That means you and Sydney working together. To someone like Kendall, emotions and feelings can only hamper an agent. That may be true in most cases, but not when it comes to you and Syd. You two have a sixth sense about each other – you trust each other explicitly in the field. That's why you're able to be so successful on your missions, regardless of whatever obstacles are thrown your way. Right now, you are both trying to bury the feelings that made you so unstoppable in the first place. It is my belief that if you tell her the truth, and if she tells you the truth – you will both be able to reveal your true feelings again. Once that obstacle has been cleared, you can maintain your cover with Syd's support, rather than contributing to her pain."

"Wait, you said Syd has to tell me the truth, too? About what…her two years? Do you know the story?"

"There are additional factors that you are not aware of yet – just as Syd is not aware of yours. Trust me when I say that it needs to be Syd who tells you."

"Okay…" Vaughn accepts this, then looks at the ground as he thinks about what Dixon has said. "My one fear is that once I reveal myself to Syd, what's going to prevent us from acting on those feelings?"

"Agent Vaughn, I'm surprised at you. You worked a year and a half with Sydney with just one goal in mind – the take down of SD-6 and the Alliance. From what I've heard, the two of you didn't act on your obvious attraction to each other until the day the raids took place. Your desire to be together motivated you to take them down in record time! The same rules could be applied to your current situation. You and Sydney will be able to be seen together, but you will not be free to act on your feelings – one or both of you could be killed. You will maintain your cover, but now you will have Syd as your ally – together you will work to bring down the Covenant, so that you can be together again."

Vaughn's face brakes out in a full-blown smile, dimples creased, at that last statement. He couldn't believe that Dixon was giving him the okay to tell Sydney! He reaches out and shakes his hand. "Dixon, I don't know how to thank you for this. You are saving my sanity!"

"I'm just trying to look out for our girl." He gives Vaughn a lopsided grin. "Good luck, Michael. Remember though, there are two sides to this tale. You may need to wait until she is ready to talk as well."

"Thank you, sir…you have no idea…."

Dixon waves him out. "Get out of here – go talk to her. Take the day off, and I'll see you tomorrow."

Vaughn stops with his hand on the door knob. "What should I tell Lauren?"

"I'll tell her you're following a potential lead by researching the archives. Pick up some files from there on your way to Syd's. You can return them tomorrow."

"Okay. Thanks again!" Vaughn practically skips out the door…and right into Jack Bristow.