The Chewy Center
(Takes place after "Underneath")
The Apocalypse is here. I've been sitting in the middle of it all this time, signing my contracts and shuffling my papers while it plays out under my nose.
The Senior Partners gave me busy work. Kept me from seeing what was going on. Maybe I'm not a big picture kind of guy- I see the wall, I punch the wall, I move on to the next wall. But I'm starting to see what Lindsey was talking about. About damn time too.
And it only cost me Gunn.
I'm trying to bring myself to face that. The information we've gotten from Lindsey is important, anything more will be just as important. But I left Gunn there.
I left him. He said he wanted to do it. I know he's racked with guilt over Fred. But I'm the boss. I'm suppose to watch over them. I'm the Champion.
I'm Angel. I'm suppose to keep them safe.
When I told him all that about guilt and redemption, I just wanted to get him out of that damn hospital bed. Maybe I should have known. After all I am the King of Brood-land, so maybe I should have known something bad would have come out of his guilt.
Bad things always happen here. There's always a price to be paid. It's why the Senior Partners set me up here- for every step forward we've made, we take two back.
Two more gone.
Well no more. No more distractions. No more accepting that things are the way they are. I'm in it now, eyes wide open. Lindsey and Eve and Hamilton and whoever else can just stay out of my way. Or not. Either way works for me.
If The Apocalypse is here, I say bring it on.
(Takes place after "Origins")
It's not like I didn't know it was going to happen eventually. But the funny thing about eventually is that you hope it won't come. Knowing it will isn't enough because you are always surprised when the time comes. Never quite prepared.
And now Wesley knows. He knows what I did and why I did it. And what his role in it was.
He's hurting. I wish I knew what to say to him but I don't.
He took my son, betrayed me. Now he remembers that he did that... because he betrayed me again. Didn't trust me. Saw that I'd done something and was sure that he knew the best course of action.
This time he gave me my son back.
Connor is the son I hoped he'd be. He's smart and well adjusted. And although he's still their son, he knows he's mine too. He can't be here with me. We'll never be able to do the things that other sons and fathers get to do. But he's out there, and he's healthy. And he knows me and where I am if he needs me. And he doesn't hate me.
It's more than I could have ever hoped for since I made my pact with Wolfram and Hart.
Maybe what I should say to Wes is 'thank you.' but I don't think he'd understand it right now. He's lost and confused and in so much pain... Illyria always there and always a reminder of what he had.
He's in Hell.
As much as Gunn is doing his penance in that holding dimension, Wesley is doing his right here. And I have to do something to help them both. We'll never get through this unless we are together.
You have to take care of your family.
Thank you Connor for reminding me.
I will.Slave
(takes place after "TimeBomb" )
Jumping around in time makes you confused and terrified . Also a little sea sick.
Of course nothing is more sickening than seeing your friends dead on the floor and what remains of yourself in a heap ready for a dust pan.
Or maybe there is something more sickening than that after all....
I told the Fell Brethren that the child is theirs. Walked right into that office and watched the mother sign her child over to them.
Gunn thinks I've lost my mind.
I think that Wesley has.
But there is one thing I do know for sure: I'm not a slave to this damn firm anymore.
Wolfram and Hart wanted me to fight for that child. The Fell would have come down on us. We would have fought them.
We would have been distracted.
Maybe the invisible war isn't so invisible after all- it's just a matter of seeing what's there. Not becoming pulled in a different direction.
Not being distracted.
The Apocalypse is here and I have to find a way to fight it: Now. Whatever will happen to that child in the future, is in the future. And if I can't stop what's happening in the present, well, the future isn't going to be that big of a worry.
So they can have him... for now.
Illyria said that a ruler serves no master but his own ambition.
Wolfram and Hart is going to find out how ambitious I can be.