Chap 1, being there
Aragorn walked to his office with Faramir after a long and boring council "I'm going to find Arwen spend some time with her before dinner" Aragorn said to Faramir as they walked "I've hardly seen her this last month" "I know Eowyn went mad yesterday, I came into our chambers and she flipped out saying I've been neglect her" "Arwen doesn't say anything she's always asleep when I go to bed but when I kiss her goodnight she has tear stains over her face" "I told Eowyn I'd try and make more time for her and went to sleep" "I'm going to change council to how it was before, an hour after breakfast and an hour just before dinner" Aragorn told him "Really?" Faramir asked a smile on his face Aragorn opened the door to his office and Faramir followed him in "Yes, I'm going to make an official announcement tomorrow afternoon. I'll go to council now and tell everyone there's no council tomorrow morning" "My lord" Faramir said to Aragorn who was standing with his back to the desk "There's a letter for you" Aragorn turned and took the letter from Faramir "Its from Arwen" he said noticing the script on the envelope "I think she's had enough of me not being there for her" "My lord, you read this and be with your wife. I'll go to the council and tell them that the queen needs you and council is cancelled for tomorrow morning" "Thank you Faramir, after dismiss them and make sure I'm not disturbed for the rest of the night or tomorrow morning" Faramir left and Aragorn opened the letter and read it carefully
My dear darling Estel
I cannot take the pain I feel anymore. I love you with all of my heart but I feel you do not return the love anymore. I'm sorry if that seems harsh but my darling you deserve to know how I feel, we never do anything together anymore, I only see you at official dinners and even then you're surrounded by nobles so I can't talk to you alone. That's why I had to write this down; because I don't see you long enough to be able to tell you this in private.
This pains me to say, even think but is there another who holds your heart? You will always have mine but I feel I do not hold yours anymore. My love I deserve to know what's going on, do you not love me anymore or is it something else?
Your nobles don't like me I know, I hear what they say about me I know they only see me as someone to produce your heir, the women look at me with hatred because they all love you I know people refer to me as the kings whore and they think you could do better than an elf wench like me. I've never told you this before but I want you to know how hurt I am, how lonely.
I've never felt lonely like this before even in Rivendell when you were on the quest because I had some hope that when you came back we would never be apart again but now its even worst having you so close to me but so far away. I have no friends apart from Eowyn but I hardly see her because she spends a lot of time with the other maidens who don't like me. Before in the first months of our marriage I felt so happy, having you near me all the time people referring to me as the queen or your lady whenever you were around and treating me with some respect. Now you're not there so they treat me like dirt.
I come back to our chambers after dinner and burst into tears because I can't cope with this I want to bury myself into your arms where I feel protected and loved but you're not there. When I sit in the bath crying I need your arms to hold me, to keep me safe and shielded from everything but you're not there. When I cry myself to sleep at night I cuddle into the blanket and wrap my arms around my body trying to kid myself they are your arms.
I need you Estel; I fear I will die of heartbreak if this carries on. When I bound myself to you I thought I would die after you but I feel I will die before you because the pain is too much for me to take. I don't regret my choice because if nothing else I have been able to spend a few months with you where I was blissfully happy. I want us to spend more time together like before, I want you to make councils how they were twice a day for an hour, I want to feel your love again, I want you to make love to me once more. If this won't happen please let me know anyway.
I love you Estel so much, please tell me what's going on I do deserve to know. I need you, I miss you so much and you are all I have to hold on to. You will hold my heart forever and always even if I don't hold yours.
Forever yours Love you always xxx Arwen xxx
Aragorn folded the letter into his pocket and sighed loudly, he had no idea she was this hurt, he had no idea she was this lonely, in council meetings he had seen her wondering the gardens alone but always assumed she was meeting friends later. He left his office and half walked, half ran to his chambers desperate to talk to his wife.
Aragorn walked to his office with Faramir after a long and boring council "I'm going to find Arwen spend some time with her before dinner" Aragorn said to Faramir as they walked "I've hardly seen her this last month" "I know Eowyn went mad yesterday, I came into our chambers and she flipped out saying I've been neglect her" "Arwen doesn't say anything she's always asleep when I go to bed but when I kiss her goodnight she has tear stains over her face" "I told Eowyn I'd try and make more time for her and went to sleep" "I'm going to change council to how it was before, an hour after breakfast and an hour just before dinner" Aragorn told him "Really?" Faramir asked a smile on his face Aragorn opened the door to his office and Faramir followed him in "Yes, I'm going to make an official announcement tomorrow afternoon. I'll go to council now and tell everyone there's no council tomorrow morning" "My lord" Faramir said to Aragorn who was standing with his back to the desk "There's a letter for you" Aragorn turned and took the letter from Faramir "Its from Arwen" he said noticing the script on the envelope "I think she's had enough of me not being there for her" "My lord, you read this and be with your wife. I'll go to the council and tell them that the queen needs you and council is cancelled for tomorrow morning" "Thank you Faramir, after dismiss them and make sure I'm not disturbed for the rest of the night or tomorrow morning" Faramir left and Aragorn opened the letter and read it carefully
My dear darling Estel
I cannot take the pain I feel anymore. I love you with all of my heart but I feel you do not return the love anymore. I'm sorry if that seems harsh but my darling you deserve to know how I feel, we never do anything together anymore, I only see you at official dinners and even then you're surrounded by nobles so I can't talk to you alone. That's why I had to write this down; because I don't see you long enough to be able to tell you this in private.
This pains me to say, even think but is there another who holds your heart? You will always have mine but I feel I do not hold yours anymore. My love I deserve to know what's going on, do you not love me anymore or is it something else?
Your nobles don't like me I know, I hear what they say about me I know they only see me as someone to produce your heir, the women look at me with hatred because they all love you I know people refer to me as the kings whore and they think you could do better than an elf wench like me. I've never told you this before but I want you to know how hurt I am, how lonely.
I've never felt lonely like this before even in Rivendell when you were on the quest because I had some hope that when you came back we would never be apart again but now its even worst having you so close to me but so far away. I have no friends apart from Eowyn but I hardly see her because she spends a lot of time with the other maidens who don't like me. Before in the first months of our marriage I felt so happy, having you near me all the time people referring to me as the queen or your lady whenever you were around and treating me with some respect. Now you're not there so they treat me like dirt.
I come back to our chambers after dinner and burst into tears because I can't cope with this I want to bury myself into your arms where I feel protected and loved but you're not there. When I sit in the bath crying I need your arms to hold me, to keep me safe and shielded from everything but you're not there. When I cry myself to sleep at night I cuddle into the blanket and wrap my arms around my body trying to kid myself they are your arms.
I need you Estel; I fear I will die of heartbreak if this carries on. When I bound myself to you I thought I would die after you but I feel I will die before you because the pain is too much for me to take. I don't regret my choice because if nothing else I have been able to spend a few months with you where I was blissfully happy. I want us to spend more time together like before, I want you to make councils how they were twice a day for an hour, I want to feel your love again, I want you to make love to me once more. If this won't happen please let me know anyway.
I love you Estel so much, please tell me what's going on I do deserve to know. I need you, I miss you so much and you are all I have to hold on to. You will hold my heart forever and always even if I don't hold yours.
Forever yours Love you always xxx Arwen xxx
Aragorn folded the letter into his pocket and sighed loudly, he had no idea she was this hurt, he had no idea she was this lonely, in council meetings he had seen her wondering the gardens alone but always assumed she was meeting friends later. He left his office and half walked, half ran to his chambers desperate to talk to his wife.