Breaking.
The sky was unsettling blue and calm. Anna always suspected that through her cynicism andcold beliefs that a sky too calm, was a sky meant for turmoil. Lightning thunder, whatever that came after.
Yoh was out today, and though it was early, he had promised to have been back an hour ago.
The television was off, the house incredibly clean. And her spirits were silent.
She was quite alone.
Itako Anna did not need anyone.
The sun was dimming slightly overhead when she reached the grocery store. Summers in Tokyo was always blearingly hot and humid. And how many summers had she spent here?
The owner bowed his head as she entered, it was silly if you thought about it, him an old man bowing his head to her, only a young woman of eighteen.
Her flapping sandals felt sticky beneath her feet, the black dress she had didn't help much either.
The cool freezer glass doors holding the treasure of ice creams, ice lollys, sherberts and frozen yogurts reflected her face.
Heavy eyelids, frozen features and yellow hair.
Listening to the hum of fans and the unrelenting heat inside the store, Anna concentrated deeply on the icy treats.
Green tea or Pineapple.
Which one did.. she like.
Where was Yoh.
Anna didn't like questions she couldn't answer, she made them all into statements in her head. You could control statements, they started and ended but questions always left something else to be said. Something more.
Green tea was much too calming.
The box of Pineapple ice lollys cooled her warm hands.
Yoh had missed dinner many times recently. Anna surprising perhaps even herself had begun to cook for her, for him no one knew and Manta had been too scared to guess. Was it all coming to an end?
Sometimes he had come home, with a dazed smile on his face and-
And Anna wondered whether she should just make something for herself today.
She paid for her groceries at the counter, the old man bobbing his gratitude.
Thank you, Come Again.
The way back was slightly cooler.
Maybe. He..
Anna had never thought that he would ever do something like that. She had absolute devastating faith in him. Where ever he went, if need be, if he needed it, she would follow.
Hinamoto-Chan's Flower Shop!
The cheerful pink and white lettered sign seemed to exclaim at her. Anna wasn't like other girls, other eighteen year olds who gushed at thier roses, or sniffed disgustingly cute at orchids.
One time, she remembered, one time Yoh had given her twelve lillies.
She had accepted them with nothing to acknowledge the fact that she knew what they were. And later when Yoh was gone, off somewhere with Manta and Horo Horo and probably Ren. She had stared at those lillies. They were each one memorized by her touch. By her eyes and nose. Each individual lily preserved in her heart. Beautiful pinks and whites that would never die.
Lost in her memories, Anna smiled. Maybe she would cook for two tonight.
Yoh...
Yoh!
Anna felt her grocery bag slip through her fingers, the box of pineapple ice lollys squished underneath her vegetables and frozen curry boxes, crashing onto the road. The ice of the lollys cracking, splitting and breaking.
Dark hair, orange ear muffs (the ones she had threatened him everyday to get rid of, he was eighteen after all.) and dark eyes that warmed when he smiled, ice cold when his friends were on the line.
Laughing and smiling as only he could..
Like he hasn't been for quite a while.
With a devastingly slender young woman, pink haired and happy too.
Yoh had never laughed with her.
She had never stopped to think that maybe he would not..
She had always believed, if only as the one foolish thought she had in this world-
Anna did not understand this feeling, why did she feel as if she could not breath. Like something was slowly cracking and breaking. Falling into dry brittle glass pieces beneath her feet. Was this a feeling? She was numb, numbed, frozen.
She was surprised at the water that slid down her face.
Tears.
The whirling blue sky above her, melting with her tears reminded her of that time. Perhaps her best memory ever.
She was younger then. And she was to meet Yoh. Kino-sama had been..
Anna had never experienced love. Itako training was hard.
But Kino-sama..
Yoh.
"You're cute."
SLAP!!
She had been furious, at first. Baka Baka.
And then when he was gone, no doubt with DEMON screaming in his head, Anna had calmed down. Her heart was still beating so fast, and her face felt.. warm.
The whirling midnight sky above her, melting, twirling and the stars twinkling with promise.
Anna had never been called cute.
And maybe just for that, for Yoh daring to believe that there could be anything cute about Anna Kyouyama. She had begun the long journey of caring for him.
It was always like this. When you kept your heart frozen with a wall of ice. When the ice broke, when it didn't thaw out or melt like it was supposed to. When you were shocked into feeling, the broken sharp shards of cold frozen glass would cut deep into a fragile heart. And you would bleed, fresh.
When you tried your best not to love someone, who was destined to love everyone, who was destined to be the only love you had. Your heart would break no matter how cold or safe you tried to keep it.
She picked up her package of broken groceries and walked off somehow, without tripping. Without looking back. Somehow she managed to walk straight, though blinded by her tears.
Who was she to judge him after all? He who had shown her all the hope and dreams and love that she had ever held deeply.
And if Yoh chose someone over her, she could not take away his right to experience that happiness.
Anna loved him.
His happiness was her Happiness.
And if Anna told herself this hard enough, who was to say that it was not true.
Itako Anna, did not need anyone.
She had to believe that.