Paint By Numbers
Chapter 5
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"Ah, look at dat. Lady Luck is sending you a message," Remy informed Piotr, in reference to the Queen of Hearts he had just dealt him. The two boys were playing Blackjack near the front of the Blackbird, which was en route to Muir Island, where the X-Men were going to help set up the finishing touches on a genetics research lab run by an old acquaintance of the professor's. Later that day, the jet would also be flying to the Ust-Ordynski Collective in Russia so Piotr could visit his family. Currently, however, Colossus seemed more concerned about starring blankly at his card with a strange grimace on his face, which Gambit took to be an unflattering cross between a hopeful smile and a despondent frown. "Why not share the sign with petite Katie over dere?" Gambit asked him slyly, tapping the card with his index finger.
"That's alright, tovarisch. I do not think she would appreciate it," he said doubtfully, glancing over his seat to the back of the plane where Kitty and Rogue were sitting together, having a hushed conversation.
"Oh, but I think she would," he disagreed shrewdly.
"And I think you would say anything to distract me so you can look at my cards."
"Please, mon ami, would dis face lie to you?"
"Da. Without hesitation," Piotr said, stone faced.
"Dat's true. But not in dis case. After all, what women doesn't want to know when a man holds her in his heart?" he asked, flipping his cards over to show a nineteen.
"One who does not return those affections," Colossus said miserably, turning over his other card, an ace, giving him a twenty-one.
"And what makes you think dat?"he asked casually, dealing a new hand.
"I think her actions these past weeks have made it fairly obvious," Piotr told him pessimistically, motioning for another card.
"I wouldn't be so sure," he said knowledgeably. "Filles, dey don't think like us. They crazy," he explained, gathering up his cards to reshuffle the deck. "You want proof? Look who Katie hangs out with," he said, motioning to Rogue. At the same moment, she looked up, and their eyes locked. He grinned flirtatiously at her, and Gambit could feel his heart skip a beat as she glared at him in return. "Then again," he told Peter, still grinning, "m'be we be the crazy ones, non?"
***
From the other end of the jet, Rouge glared defensively at Gambit until he turned away, then focused her attention back to her conversation with Kitty. "You know, Ah think it's good that Peter's going to visit his family. It'll cheer him up. Even I think he's been acting moody lately. Kurt says he's been spendin' all his time in his room, starring at some special painting he won't let him see. He's not actually painting anything, just staring. And brooding. Followed by more staring. Remind you of anyone?" she asked her cynically.
Kitty rolled her eyes and ignored her friend's comment. "I'm just happy to have a few days away from Lance. I mean, he calls all the time and he's always trying to send me presents, like some stuffed bear is going to fix everything between us. I mean, at first I thought he understood it was over, but he keeps saying this breakup is just like some phase I'm going through or something. I guess he like, thinks that as long as I'm not with someone else he still has a chance. Not like I have a choice," she muttered, her voice full of resentment.
"So Ah take it you don't miss him then?" she said dryly.
"How can I miss him? He never leaves me alone!"Kitty hissed, looking around to make sure no one had heard her. " And every time he calls it reminds me of how guilty I feel for hurting him. Then I feel angry with him for asking me to make that stupid promise, then I get angry at myself for agreeing to it, then I feel even more guilty for being angry at him when he's the one who should be angry at me, and it's just a whole big mess" Kitty quietly ranted. "All I want is to put this entire thing behind me and be free to move on, but I can't," she moaned, burying her head in her hands.
"It's all right, Kit," she said awkwardly, trying her best to sound comforting. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"Yeah, like I'm really going to share my love life with a girl who two days ago threatened to punch the guy we all know she's in love with just because he tried to cook her dinner," she replied sullenly.
"If you had tasted his gumbo, you'd want to beat him too. And don't go changin' the subject. This isn't about me and Gambit."
"Funny, I don't think I ever mentioned Gambit's name," she teased, squeezing her eyes shut and phasing instinctively as she waited for Rogue to slap her on the head, as usual. After a few seconds had passed without any complaints from her friend, Kitty cautiously opened her eyes and saw Rogue starring ahead, wearing a rare genuine smile, for once not bothering to try to hide it. She understood the reason when she followed her friend's gaze to the back of Gambit's head, but found her attention being drawn over to Peter who, feeling someone watching him, turned around. Before he could see her, Kitty quickly slumped down in her seat and lowered her head, refusing to look him in the eye.
"If you ask me, that boy spoiled you. Made ya think you can do no wrong in his eyes." Rogue scolded, wrenching her attention back to her friend and away from her favorite thief.
Kitty remained silent.
"Why didn't you tell him you broke up with Lance?" she questioned.
Kitty shrugged.
"He had to hear it from Jamie," Rogue continued. "And Jamie's always the last one to know anything. Why do you keep hidin' from him?"she asked.
"I don't know," Shadowcat replied miserably.
"Kitty!" Rouge voiced skeptically.
"I don't!" she protested
"Kit, you can't lie to me about this. Ah'm still labeled around here as the queen of self-destructive behavior. Ah know how it feels to sabotage your own relationships. That's how Ah know that you know why you're doin' it, even if you can't admit it to yourself." Kitty stayed silent after Rogue finished talking, watching the tops of the clouds roll by outside the Blackbird's windows, smiling as they remind her of the blissful day she and Peter had spent by the lake.
"Rogue?" she asked timidly.
"Yeah?"
"It's because...because he scares me. I mean, not him personally, but the idea of me and him in a relationship," Kitty confessed.
"But you've already had a relationship with Lance, and you've seen the worst. You know you're strong enough-"
"That's different," she interrupted. "Lance was my first boyfriend, not my first love."
Rogue inhaled sharply. She had known for months that her roommate had a crush on Colossus, but she had no idea her feelings for him were this strong. In the back of her mind, she still remembered Kitty as the shallow, self-centered girl she had first at the Institute all those years ago, the girl who couldn't only love another person with anymore intensity than she could a Louis Vuitton purse. Of course, Rogue thought to herself, she isn't like that anymore. She's grown and matured into a much more compassionate and grounded person who cares as much for her teammates as she does for herself. And if Kitty was willing to embrace change and move forward in life, maybe it's time for me to do so as well" she realized, picturing Remy's face in her mind. But for the moment, she needed to focus on helping Kitty. "Do you love Peter?" she asked her gently.
"I don't know. What I do know, is that every day, I get a little bit closer to knowing, and a lot more scared of the answer," she told her friend, terrified that she had just admitted her feelings for him to another person.
"Then it's time you face your fear. Cause between the two of us, Ah'm sick of havin' to be the cheerful one," she ordered with a smile.
***
The Blackbird landed on schedule and the X-men piled out onto the landing dock, where they were greeted by a brown haired woman wearing glasses and a yellow uniform under a white lab coat "Welcome, everyone," she said in a thick Scottish accent. "My name is Dr. Moira MacTaggert. I studied genetics at Oxford University, alongside yuir professor there. This land has been in my family for generations, and although I'm not a mutant myself, I have...experiences with them which made me choose to create a facility dedicated to studying their unique genetic structures. Now, enough wasting time with introductions. If you'll all follow me to the med lab, I can start handing out yuir individual assignments. Oh, and Charles," she said quietly, placing a hand affectionately on his shoulder. "I brought ye some of my special coffee. I know how much ye like it."
"Er, thank you Moira," he said, starring at the thick, murky substance inside the mug. "I've been needing something to grease my wheelchair."
As the group left the hanger, Rogue dragged Kitty back to the plane, where Peter was in his armored form, unloading supplies. "Hey Petey!" Rogue yelled, "Kitty here has something to give you," she told him, pushing her friend toward the Russian, then running to catch up with the others.
"Well, actually, it's for your sister." she told him shyly, handing him a small box with a silver snowflake pendant inside. Piotr stared t it for a long time without speaking.
"Why are you doing this?" he finally asked in a strained voice.
"Because you've told me so much about Illyana and then I saw this on sale at the mall a few days ago and I thought it would-"
"Nyet- no, I mean why are you doing...this? he asked motioning with his hands to everything around him.
"Um, doing what?" she asked uneasily.
"You come into my life, and you let me make a fool out of myself, let me think there's a chance that the feelings I have for you could be returned, then you just avoid me-"
"I wasn't avoiding you!" she lied.
"I know I'm not as smart as you are, but I'm not an idiot." he told her sadly, a touch of bitterness in his voice.
"I don't think you're an idiot!" "I- I think you're wonderful. I've always thought that, ever since Egypt, when you smashed in the wall and told me you "grew concerned." I thought you were so adorable. And sweet. And kind and caring and brave. And I couldn't understand how you could really be the person I thought you were if you worked for Magneto, but then, I found out you worked for him because you were exactly who I thought you were, because you could never let the people you love suffer. But by then it didn't matter because I was already with someone else and I barely knew you. And Lance told me he loved me, right before we broke up. It's one of those moments I spent my whole life waiting for, and in my head I'd built it up to be this huge event that changes everything, that makes you happier then you ever knew was possible. But when he told me, I just wanted to cry, because all I could think about was how badly I wanted to hear those words from someone else. That's when I knew I had to end it with him, because he would never make me happy, and because I would never have the feelings for him that I have for you. And maybe this whole three week waiting period is a good thing. I mean, when I broke up with Lance, the first thing I wanted to do is go running straight to you and forget everything that happened. But if I had done that, you would have ended up as the rebound guy, and you deserve to be more than that. I want you to be more than that," she rambled, not sure what she had even said.
"What are you talking about, waiting period?" he asked, beginning to understand.
"When I broke up with Lance, he made me promise not to see anyone else for at least three weeks," she reluctantly admitted to him.
"Oh." Piotr looked down at the necklace in his hands, and stayed very still, unsure of what he wanted to say next. "Did you...." he began, distracted by the look on her face. Her eyes were moist and she was biting her trembling bottom lip to keep from crying. She looked so endearing that he couldn't help but forgive her instantly. "Did you have anyone in mind?" he asked mischievously.
"I did, but apparently, he doesn't think very much of me right now," she pouted, looking away.
"Why didn't you just tell me?" he asked quietly, transforming back into his normal form and gently cupping her chin in his strong hand and tilting her head up so he could see into her eyes.
"I don't know," she murmured, phasing away from his grasp. "Lots of reasons, I guess. All those things I said earlier, about you being so wonderful? I meant those. But Lance, he said some things, some not so nice things to me, about me, and I started thinking that maybe all the stuff he said was true, and that I didn't deserve you. I was afraid that if I told you about the promise, you wouldn't want to wait for me, and at the same time, I was afraid that you would, and I didn't know which option scared me more. So instead I just, I didn't do anything."
"It's hard to sit here and listen to this-"
"It's been hard for me, too! I know, that's no excuse, but it's the truth. There's been so many times when I've wanted to forget about what I said to Lance and move on, but I gave my word. And I know I did things wrong, and I hurt you, and for that, I'm so sorry. I've made mistakes, and eventually I'll make more. But you're not a mistake. I know that," she told him sincerely.
Colossus laughed. "What I was going to say, Katya, is that it's hard to sit here and listen to this without being able to kiss you." She blushed and turned away, embarrassed by the giant grin that was spreading across her face. "I've been so quick to blame you for everything, but, in truth, I am also to fault. Much as I tried not to, I knowingly put myself in between you and Lance. And after you left him, I waited for you to come to me, when I should have just been upfront with you. I guess I haven't had a lot of experience with this type of relationship," he told her apologetically.
"I understand," she said, starting to smile. "I mean, you did spend a good part of your formative teenage years forced to work for a deranged megalomaniac intent on taking over the world. That probably didn't leave you with a lot of free time to date."
"Mostly I just moved boxes." She laughed. "So three weeks, then?"he asked her wistfully.
"Actually, it's down to eleven days. Ooh, ten with the time change!" she told him excitedly, calculating the difference between New York and U.K. time zones.
"Doesn't really seen fair, does it? We've spent nearly two weeks not speaking to each other, and now that we have finally talked, we about to be away from each other for another three days."
"Well, you know, you could always stay on Muir Island with us," she joked.
"Or you could come with me to Siberia," Piotr told her earnestly
"You serious?" she asked in disbelief. He nodded.
"Yes?" She asked again.
"Yes," He repeated
"Da?" Kitty asked, wanting to make sure he was absolutely certain.
"Da." He grinned at her, his playful mood was contagious.
"You know, once I see your home you have to show me that special painting of yours, so I can compare."
"We'll see," he told her mysteriously. "Katya?" he asked as she walked off to tell the professor about her change in plans, "This promise you made, how exactly does it work? Where do we draw the line?"
Kitty looked confused, then a mischievous smile spread over her face. "We'll see," she told him, as she phased out of the room. And left alone, with nothing but the memory of her face to keep him company, Piotr smiled.
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*Author's note- I sincerely apologize to everyone reading this fic for the exceedingly slow update! I haven't been able to go online since my Grandma has decided that since she's old, she's got to get rid of all her money before she dies, so she sent me and my sister on a trip to Italy for Christmas because, and I quote, "now that were both eighteen, we need to find husbands, so we can go to Europe to have a fling to get it out of our systems before settling down." Despite being based on horribly outdated misogynistic views , I thought it was a nice gift , especially considering that last year she gave me a can opener and a used Frank Sinatra tape. Of course, my cousins got ten thousand dollars, because they're boys, and they need the money for education. Apparently girls don't need to learn things, cause it just gives them ideas. Sorry, now I'm just ranting. Anyway, once I came home I told myself no internet until I finished this chapter, so of course I got hit with writer's block. I remember reading an article about Scott Lobdell where he said the only time you get writer's block is when you have characters doing something they wouldn't normally do, and I have 4 completely finished handwritten alternate versions of this chapter that have different plots and directions, and none of them seemed to make sense, but this one seemed to flow the best. I didn't really want to write this chapter, but it no matter what I did I couldn't seen to get around it. But I'm halfway done with the next chapter, and it's tone is much calmer and sweeter than this one. That should be posted by next Thursday, Sunday at the latest.
And finally, and most importantly, thank you for all the great reviews, you guys spoil me. If you read anything you don't like, please tell me, so hopefully I can make it better in the next chapter. Unless of course, the part of the story you don't like is that Kitty's with Piotr, not Lance. Then you just really need to stop reading the story, cause you're not gonna be too happy with the ending. And I promise, Update coming soon!