No more Mr Nice Guy
Thursday 18th May 16:10
Luis trudged up the steps to the family home, turning to dutifully wave goodbye to David and his mother. The words of his so-called friend still echoed in his mind; "you'd better not tell, you hear me Luis? If my mom finds out I skipped trumpet practice I'm dead-meat and so are you." That's when the older boy had punched him, hard in the stomach. It was for show, Luis knew, to make himself look big in front of the four other thugs who stood behind him outside the music room, jeering and laughing. It was always worse when there were others around, the teasing and the beatings. Then when a teacher showed up it was his job to smile casually as they draped a friendly arm around his shoulder. "Just playing, miss" he'd lie when they asked if he was OK. Maybe I'm not such a bad actor after all, he thought.
Luis opened the door and called out without any gusto "hello?" There was no reply, not that he'd expected any. Lexie usually went straight over to Margarets after school and it was Alyson's day off. As for mom and dad, who knew? Closing and locking the door behind himself he stood his trumpet case at the bottom of the stairs and wandered into the kitchen. "You are such a loser, Simmons," he muttered to himself, mimicking the taunts of the day. In his mind they continued; "hear your mom is screwing Mr Lant, what's that all about? Is she doing favours for you, get you a good grade in math this year?" He opened the refrigerator door and took out the apple juice, "Nah, she's going for the three R's. Last term it was Mr Pollok, right? Then Martin Davis caught her in the supply closet with that English sub who replaced him. So she had the reading and writing. This must be her going for the arithmetic."
He poured a glass full of the pale liquid then screwed the top back on the bottle and replaced it in the fridge. He took one long gulp and felt the cold tingle run down his throat. "Martin Davis say's your sister is just the same, say's she's done it with half the guys at school." Luis banged the glass down on the counter "Stop it" he scolded himself "stop it, stop it, stop it!" He took a deep breath and raised the glass to his lips once more this time taking only a sip. "Stick and stones" he said to himself then added sarcastically "yeah, right!"
Taking three more mouthfuls of juice he emptied the glass and stood it back down on the counter. He left the kitchen and headed towards the stairs. At the foot he paused by his trumpet case then turned on his heels and walked silently towards his father's study. The door was open and as Luis stepped inside he could see that the door to the safe at the far end of the room was ajar. Instinctively he took a quick look over his shoulder and timidly called out "hello?" When there was no reply he moved slowly forwards, tracing a finger across the top of the big wooden desk as he passed it. Gingerly he pulled the safe door further open and was taken aback to see it empty except for his fathers gun and a small box of bullets. He knew his mother kept some of her jewellery in there, and that dad stored important papers in the safe and he wondered what had happened to them all. Again he shot a worried glance back over his shoulder.
Without thinking about it Luis found himself reaching out towards the gun. He'd never held a gun before, his father had never let him touch this one and even having one in the house had been a source of argument between his parents. While his mother thought it was necessary for protection his dad had never been keen on the idea. Lexie had boasted to him that she'd held it many times, pantomimed around the study with it when nobody was home. She'd been devious enough to discover the code to the safe ages ago she bragged, borrowing her mothers jewellery without permission, relishing the chance to snoop through their parents' private papers. "Devious little cow" their mother had often called her "little tart, madam." Luis felt the weight of the gun in his hand and slid the box of bullets towards the edge of the safe. "Who do I take after" Lexie would yell back during many of their any argument "you are nothing but a whore, bitch, gold-digger." One by one, Luis began loading the bullets into the clip; it was easy enough, you saw people on TV do it all the time. With each bullet came a voice in his head and a pain like a punch in the stomach;
"You are such a loser, Simmons"
"You'd better not tell, you hear me Luis?"
"Hear your mom is screwing Mr Lant"
"Martin Davis say's your sister is just the same"
"Little tart, madam."
"Whore, bitch, gold-digger".
He pushed the box of bullets back into the safe and stared at the gun in his hand. The sudden sound of familiar footsteps behind him startled him and he turned to face the door, concealing the gun behind his back.
"Luis" his dad smiled half-heartedly "what are you doing in here?" He mustered only a shrug in reply. His dad closed the distance between them and perched on the edge of the desk. Luis felt himself back away instinctively until the door of the safe poked into his back. "I was just out in the garden, didn't hear you come in" his father explained, "so how was school?" he asked brightly.
"OK" Luis managed to move his lips but barely a sound came out. Despite the glass of apple juice his mouth was incredibly dry.
"You sure?" his father pressed, "You look a little off colour." Luis saw the concern in his fathers eyes.
"Some of the boys" Luis croaked dropping his eyes to the floor "they say things…..upsetting things." He could feel his hands becoming clammy and gripped the gun tighter behind his back, frightened it would slip lose.
"What have I told you son?" Max smiled kindly "you are what you believe you are. Whatever those boys say just you remember that, OK?"
Luis nodded unconvincingly "It's just they say things" he swallowed hard and remembered the punch David had landed him earlier in the day "they do things" he halted as his throat began to tighten.
"I know" his father nodded sympathetically "I know. You've just got to learn to stick up for yourself a little, OK?" Max moved from his perch on the edge of his desk and slipped into the big leather chair, fanning out papers in front of himself on the desk.
"Are they papers from the safe?" Luis asked timidly as his father sat with his back to him.
Max paused "er, no they aren't, why do you ask?"
"I saw the safe was empty, I wondered if something had happened, if we'd been robbed?" he replied shakily. A chuckle escaped Max and Luis' confusion grew. "What's so funny?" he asked without mirth.
Taking a deep breath Max replied trough gritted teeth "we weren't robbed Luis, we were just stupid enough to allow somebody who shouldn't have gain access to the code."
"Lexie you mean?" Luis asked innocently, imagining his spoilt sister and her friends playing around with his mothers jewels.
Max swung around sharply in his chair. "What?" he snapped uncharacteristically "you knew about that, she told you about Matthew Green?"
Luis' head spun. He was taken aback by his fathers outburst. Without having to search his memory he was sure it was the first time that his dad had shouted at him in such a way. He looked at him now and all the heat was gone from his face, replaced by something that looked like remorse. Attempting to calm the situation Max added, "all I mean is your sister has been a little careless but it's not really her fault."
"Matthew Green" Luis repeated to himself "What does he have to do with Lexie? I though he worked from you, he was mom's tennis partner right?"
"Tennis partner!" Max scoffed lightly, shaking his head.
Remembering the frequency with which Matthew used to visit Luis scolded himself for being so naïve. He'd known for a while that what the boys at school said was true, that's why it hurt so much. He knew about his mother and Mr Pollok because Mr Pollok would keep him behind after class and give him notes to pass on to his mother. He'd read one once, Mr Pollok was asking his mother to meet him for a "performance review." He looked at his father who sat at the desk with his head resting in his hands.
"Are you and mom going to get a divorce" Luis asked evenly.
Max turned to face him "No, no, not at all, what ever made you think that?"
"Matthew Green" Luis replied simply.
Max shook his head "No Luis, listen, I think you should just forget about all of this" he signalled towards he safe. "Forget what I've said here it's just been a crazy day, OK?"
"But will you get the things back?" Luis asked, his mind still racing "the things from the safe?" As he spoke the word 'safe' he again felt his hands grip the gun behind his back.
"I really don't know" Max shook his head.
"What did the police say?" Luis asked with some concern.
Max sighed "I didn't call the police Luis, now maybe you should go up to your room."
But Luis was frozen to the spot, his confusion demonstrating itself as he continued to talk "but why didn't you call the police…."
"Luis" his father pleaded, "the matter is more complicated than you can imagine. Not only has Matthew Green…." Max caught himself just in time "it's complicated but it is nothing for you to worry about." He rubbed his eyes and began shuffling the papers on the desk.
Luis stood for a while, absorbing what he'd learnt, gripping the gun behind his back as words clouded his head again and again "You are such a loser, Simmons" "Hear your mom is screwing Mr Lant." He took a breath, "if Matthew Green robbed you, and if he's been….you know" he stammered as a flush rose in his cheeks "if he's been with mom, then why not call the police, have him put in jail?" When his father didn't reply he continued with a little more conviction "you just finished telling me that I have to learn to stand up to bullies but you aren't doing anything about this."
Max turned and faced his son "Luis, listen carefully" he pinched the bridge of his nose. "You are growing up now, alright, and there are some things about adult life that you are starting to discover" he chewed the inside of his mouth. "But at the moment, you are still a child, Luis, you may think you understand the world around you but you do not." Wearily he shook his head "my advice to you son is to enjoy being a child, because once you become an adult nothing is black and white any more. There is only grey in the adult world Luis, nothing is simple." He signalled towards the safe and continued, "this isn't about being bullied or about standing up for myself, it's about the real world. One day you'll understand that as an adult you have to learn to pick your battles son; when to stand up for yourself and when to accept the unpleasant situations thrown at you."
Max paused a while then opening his arms wider; indicating the room around him asked, "how do you think we came by all this Luis? Hard work, sensible investment, that's how" he answered himself "but out there" he signalled to the window "people are out for what they can get, they want it all now, on their terms. Why do you think I want to keep Lexie out of acting? It's a cutthroat industry, tougher than she'll ever imagine. Why do you think I want to finish with SKE? I'm making a fortune there but I'm surrounded by people whose greatest love is money, and as long as they are happy themselves they don't care who they hurt."
A vacant look had crept into Luis' eyes as his father enlightened him about the state of the world. Noticing the blank expression on his son's face Max ran both hand back through his hair dejectedly. "Son, I'm sorry, OK? I'm getting a little carried away."
"But it's all true" Luis whispered, referring not only to his father's assertions but to the many taunts he'd suffered over the years.
Max looked pensively at his son "yes it's true" he admitted weakly "but the important thing is we aren't like that, you never have to become like that OK?"
Wordlessly Luis dropped his arms to his sides, keeping the gun by his thigh, shielded from his fathers view. Slowly he crossed towards the window where, with his back to the room, he examined the weapon in his hands.
"Son" Max spoke the word tenderly "son, remember, you and me are the nice guys of the world, right?" The final phrase was obviously a well-worn joke between the two as, unbeknownst to his father, a faint smile touched Luis' lips.
As Max turned his gaze from his son back to his desk something in the open safe caught his eye. Pushing the door open slightly he was puzzled to see the open box of ammunition; a fraction of a second later and he'd established that his gun was not alongside it. Looking again to the window he noticed his son, head hung low, hands in front of himself. Not just in quiet contemplation he knew, but examining something, examining the loaded weapon. He stood quietly and slowly stepped towards Luis, failing to hear the faint click as he did so.
From the window Luis didn't hear his father approach and was first aware of his presence when he felt the large hand squeeze his shoulder. "Luis?" his father questioned at the precise moment the boy, shocked by his touch, turned quickly to face him. Glancing down at the gun in his son's hand a wave of panic and nausea rushed through him. Instinctively Max grabbed for the gun. Luis pulled back and a single shot rang out.