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ANNOUNCEMENT: Shock, aftershock, and perhaps a bit of smoothing lightness. No, I'm not talking about a new drink, but this chapter. coming to a close: 3 more and then the end.. . would that make four?
Riverwood - Glad you like them, yeah, I'm trying to make it horrible. :) Still awaiting fanfic art
Perfect Soldier 01 - thought you'd like that. Rajin traumatized was a necessity, although it was quite hard to do, let's just say a lot of Rosie Thomas went into the making of this chapter. Little plug: if you want to hear peaceful guitar riffs and a pleasant yet slightly nostalgic, sad voice try her on for size.
Kjata - yes, he will miss Shiva and Ifrit. Thanks. I try to make it as real as possible, glad you enjoyed. heh... maybe I should be running, too eh? You should like this one.
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"I've been waiting so long to see him, and now that I have... I wish he were dead. It would be easier."
"Fujin, don't say that. . . Rajin... he'll be okay... he has to be okay... Fujin, I couldn't live with him not being okay"
"At least if he died we would have been able to grieve. We'd have something to fight against, but this? This... lingering? I wish he were dead."
"It's going to be okay"
"No it's not"
"Yes, it is?"
"How? How is it going to be okay? How, Seifer!?"
"I don't know, Fuu... but it has to be okay, It just has to..." Seifer couldn't finish as tears burned in his eyes, melting his eye lids until the hot lava poured down crevasing his cheeks and sinking down onto Fujin's hair. He could already hear the sobs Fujin was trying hard to keep in, but her tears were steadily falling onto his hand where it sat in a feeble attempt at comfort on her chin. They had seen Rajin, and nothing could have saved them from the brokeness seething from Rajin's every pore. Fujin was convinced it was a disease the losers soak up after battle, one that treatens torture for those left behind, as it coaxes the mind to a madness that tears meekly at the soul, bite by bite like a caterpillar chewing a rhubarb leaf, worst of all, she couldn't find a cure. Seifer ran his fingers through his hair, holding onto Fujin's hand as she hung up her dress beside their new coats and Seifer's trousers and shirt, he could never thank Rajin enough for taking his place, even after all the harm Seifer had done, he didn't deserve such glory. Such bliss, such comfort and love. It made him love his Posse so much more, but it also made it impossible to know what he should do next.
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Rajin sat on the middle table of the huge cafeteria, everyone else had been cleared away save for two guards per entrance, Kiros, and Ward. After they had cleaned him up the best they could, they had shaved his head, his hair being too far gone to save from the onslaught of electricity that had coursed through his body in the past fortnight. The bruises shined like a lighthouse all over his body, nothing being hidden by the white undershirt and green hospital trousers they had found for him to wear. New clothes had yet to be ordered. Hunched over on top of the table top, he refused to sit in a chair... too much like... he couldn't finish that statement as he began to shake at the memories of the electric chair and various other tools of torture they had used. On the table he sat, slurping a bowl of soup hungrily, before yanking a chunk off of the toast they had set beside the bowl. Every so often he would tear off a piece of bread and tell Ward to give it to Shiva and Ifrit, he had to take care of his rats. This is how Seifer and Fujin first saw him, babling about rats and spoons as torture equipment sitting crosslegged on a table top, filing in surrounded by the Sorceress Six, all eight of the young adults shocked at how sallow and starved the former behemoth looked, how the rims around his eyes matched bruises on his cheeks, and cut lip, and arms, and feet, and neck and wrists, and ankles... everywhere.
Fujin let out a yelp, breaking away from Seifer's protective embrace to run the distance to her friend, her protector, her brother,
"Rajin! What did they...? Rajin?" she asked, running up to the table and putting her hands on his knees. As soon as he felt touch, his whole body shook and cringed, as he put down the empty soup bowl and looked down into Fujin's worried stare with feverish eyes.
"F..f..uj. . . Fuu? My little Fuu? You can't be Fujin, you're crying.. . I'm crying, aren't I? Can't let them see that! Who'll take care of my rrats iif I cccry?" Rajin said, bringing his arms down, taking a hand and brushing Fujin's face with it, the other wiping his face.
"You ARE Fujin! Ddid you come to rescue me?" he spoke, a meagre voice squeeking out of what used to boom across plains. Fujin only nodded, grabbing his hand with hers, hardly covering half of it, before he flung his arms around her, lifted her off the floor and onto the table with him, crying like a lost child who had found his mother, hugging her as she threw her arms around what part of him she could crying into his shoulder, petting where he used to have a mop of hair.
Over the tears, Rajin could be heard sobbing,
"Don't let them hurt me... take me away, please don't let them hurt me"
Seifer stood from the entrance watching the gut wrenching scene in horror, backing slowly from the sight of his strongest ally, his best friend, only friend other than Fujin, completely broken, rocking back and forth holding onto Fujin for all the life he had left. His lips quivered, and he understood why Laguna had ordered all the Sorceress Six to escort the visit: anyone else, and he would have found a way to fight back and get Rajin out by force. Unaware of the fact he was backing up, quivering like a stunned child, Seifer hit into something,
"Woa, there Seifer. You okay?" Irvine said, taking a hold of Seifer's shoulder as Seifer spun around to see he had hit Irvine and Selphie. The rest of the Six were in various states of shock, Quistis had slumped to the floor holding her head in her hand as the other was draped on Zell's arm, as he knelt beside her, looking on the scene in front of him in confused horror; Squall held his hand over the holster of his Lionheart Gunblade, the other holding Rinoa to him as she panted back tears, wide-eyed holding on to Squall for fear of falling through the floorboards. What struck him the most in the second he saw all this was Selphie, she clung to herself, Irvine's arm draped around her shoulders and she looked angry, but not just angry, there was such pity and love in her angered eyes he thought he would explode if he didn't turn away. Turn away he did, giving out a gutteral shout as he swung away from Irvine, spinning around and smacking himself into a nearby table, yelling as the corner jutted into his stomach, tumbling backwards holding his hand out as if to protect him from the scene, hitting the corner wall hard,
"No. No, no this can't... Hyne what have I done? What have I done? HYNE! NO! No.." he kept repeating it as the tears came, as he flung his coat around him, letting out cries of agony as his eyes shut and Kiros had to order the guards back to their posts as they trained their guns at him. He felt a hand on his shoulder, and tore away, shrinking back from the touch as he blindly flew his arm in the direction of the touch, barely missing whoever had touched him, as he scampered farther along the wall.
"Stay away from me" he snarled, sounding as desperate as a wounded animal, Kiros again having to order the Guards back, barking at them to stand down. Somehow, he knew that what happened next was important, as he opened his eyes to see Selphie again at his side, touching his shoulder, he shrinked away, but didn't fight as the spunky brunette took ahold of his hand, attempting to raise him up,
"You didn't cause this. That... wasn't supposed to happen"
He looked up into her caring, pitiful, angered, sad eyes, breathing heavily to keep the tears back, as Irvine came forward, offering his hand to Seifer's free hand,
"I'm so sorry" Seifer whispered, battling the tears, refusing to cry in front of Squall,
"We know. It's not your fault" Irvine said, serious,
"C'mon, up! Go see him, Seifer. He needs to see you" Irvine finished off, passing Seifer an unused hankie,
"Not like that, though"
Seifer sniffed, nodding as he took the small hankerchief, wiping his face, blinking a few times before sucking in air, nodding stiffly. He was ready; Selphie let go of his hand, gave him a push and sunk her arms around Irvine's waist as he cocked his hat reassuringly, it helped. Walking towards his Posse, or what was left of it, Seifer could hear Fujin singing softly, her voice halting a few times to sniff back tears before continuing the lullaby they had sung yesterday night. Rajin now had his head on Fujin's shoulder, both arms still holding onto the tiny woman practically wrapping twice around her, as she knelt on her knees to reach his shoulders, Seifer turned back, genuinely ashamed and unworthy of whatever healing was being had, but he caught one glimpse at Selphie and Irvine, and turned back.
Clearing his throat, Seifer looked down at his feet, prepared to say... too late, Rajin turned his head, saw the awkward, distressed man beside him, and swung one huge, bruise covered arm around him, using his natural strength, or what was left of it, to bring the blonde man into the hug. All Seifer could do was put his arms around Fujin and Rajin, broken, waisted, finally letting himself feel some relief: Rajin didn't hate him. Unbeknowance to the three of them, Laguna walked into the Cafeteria, B-lining it to Kiros as he saw what condition Rajin was in, after a whisper from Selphie set him off, he was not happy.
Breathing one refreshingly deep breath, Rajin let go his death grip, easing the embrace the three shared,
"Please tt..tell me you two are h..happy?" Rajin whispered, looking hopefully, yet sorrowfully into each of the lovers' eyes.
"AFFIRMATIVE" Fujin whispered back, feeling Rajin's face with her hand, as he leaned into it like a puppy. Seifer took Fujin's waist in one arm,
"Thank you, Rajin. Thank you so much." Seifer said, shaking his head slowly,
"This... this is too much. You shouldn't ... I should be"
"Hey, Seif. You wouldn't h..handle it. I'd do a..aanything for you guys."
"Gratitude"
"It's worth it. Hearing your v..voice.. seeing you so pp.pretty? It's worrth it." Rajin stumbled over the words, looking lovingly into both Fujin's eyes.
"Allways knew you were ..beautiful." Fujin smiled, hugging his neck,
"Seifer?"
"Yes, Rajin? Anything."
"Love her. If you don't... I'll sick my ratts on you, ya know" Rajin said, trying to smile despite the pain from his broken lip. Seifer smiled for him,
"There it is... been waiting f..f.for ttthe Almasssy smile, ya kn..now" Rajin stuttered, clapping his other hand on Seifer's shoulder, looking deep into Seifer's eyes with all the pain, fear, and lingering sanity he had left,
"Seifer?"
"Yes?"
"I'm gonna go through with this, ya know... Do something for me? L..live. S..sshow Fujjjin what it's like to be h..hhappy, ya know? P..pplease be hhappy. My sacrifice. All mmine. Not yours anymore. Just... save me a sspot on your boat, kay?" Seifer nodded, unable to speak from biting back tears.
"G..ggo, ya know... I g..gotta go back... my rrats'll be h..hungry. I saved them some lunch. Nice lunch, ya know. Go b..be happy, ya k..know."
Rajin released his grip on their shoulders, giving one last pat as he pushed Seifer and Fujin together. Nodding first lightly, and then exageratedly, Rajin looked them over one more time,
"Yep, y..ou'll have cute kids." he said, sliding off the table, warily avoiding the chairs as he put the crumbs he had saved into his bowl, grabbing the bowl to himself as he mumbled,
"Be careful, the chairs are the ones that'll getcha, ya know" as he walked towards where Kiros and Ward stood with Laguna.
"Okay, I'm rready now. Cccan we go back now? My rrats'll be hhungry" Rajin said, smiling as Ward nodded, putting a hand on his shoulder and leading him with the guards back to the cell where Shiva and Ifrit would be waiting. Laguna went to talk to Seifer and Fujin, as Kiros stood there in the middle doors closing on Rajin as he realised, if given the choice to suffer in exchange for Laguna and Raine to be happy, he would have taken every pain Hyne could throw at him. Over and over and over and over and over.
ANNOUNCEMENT: Shock, aftershock, and perhaps a bit of smoothing lightness. No, I'm not talking about a new drink, but this chapter. coming to a close: 3 more and then the end.. . would that make four?
Riverwood - Glad you like them, yeah, I'm trying to make it horrible. :) Still awaiting fanfic art
Perfect Soldier 01 - thought you'd like that. Rajin traumatized was a necessity, although it was quite hard to do, let's just say a lot of Rosie Thomas went into the making of this chapter. Little plug: if you want to hear peaceful guitar riffs and a pleasant yet slightly nostalgic, sad voice try her on for size.
Kjata - yes, he will miss Shiva and Ifrit. Thanks. I try to make it as real as possible, glad you enjoyed. heh... maybe I should be running, too eh? You should like this one.
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"I've been waiting so long to see him, and now that I have... I wish he were dead. It would be easier."
"Fujin, don't say that. . . Rajin... he'll be okay... he has to be okay... Fujin, I couldn't live with him not being okay"
"At least if he died we would have been able to grieve. We'd have something to fight against, but this? This... lingering? I wish he were dead."
"It's going to be okay"
"No it's not"
"Yes, it is?"
"How? How is it going to be okay? How, Seifer!?"
"I don't know, Fuu... but it has to be okay, It just has to..." Seifer couldn't finish as tears burned in his eyes, melting his eye lids until the hot lava poured down crevasing his cheeks and sinking down onto Fujin's hair. He could already hear the sobs Fujin was trying hard to keep in, but her tears were steadily falling onto his hand where it sat in a feeble attempt at comfort on her chin. They had seen Rajin, and nothing could have saved them from the brokeness seething from Rajin's every pore. Fujin was convinced it was a disease the losers soak up after battle, one that treatens torture for those left behind, as it coaxes the mind to a madness that tears meekly at the soul, bite by bite like a caterpillar chewing a rhubarb leaf, worst of all, she couldn't find a cure. Seifer ran his fingers through his hair, holding onto Fujin's hand as she hung up her dress beside their new coats and Seifer's trousers and shirt, he could never thank Rajin enough for taking his place, even after all the harm Seifer had done, he didn't deserve such glory. Such bliss, such comfort and love. It made him love his Posse so much more, but it also made it impossible to know what he should do next.
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Rajin sat on the middle table of the huge cafeteria, everyone else had been cleared away save for two guards per entrance, Kiros, and Ward. After they had cleaned him up the best they could, they had shaved his head, his hair being too far gone to save from the onslaught of electricity that had coursed through his body in the past fortnight. The bruises shined like a lighthouse all over his body, nothing being hidden by the white undershirt and green hospital trousers they had found for him to wear. New clothes had yet to be ordered. Hunched over on top of the table top, he refused to sit in a chair... too much like... he couldn't finish that statement as he began to shake at the memories of the electric chair and various other tools of torture they had used. On the table he sat, slurping a bowl of soup hungrily, before yanking a chunk off of the toast they had set beside the bowl. Every so often he would tear off a piece of bread and tell Ward to give it to Shiva and Ifrit, he had to take care of his rats. This is how Seifer and Fujin first saw him, babling about rats and spoons as torture equipment sitting crosslegged on a table top, filing in surrounded by the Sorceress Six, all eight of the young adults shocked at how sallow and starved the former behemoth looked, how the rims around his eyes matched bruises on his cheeks, and cut lip, and arms, and feet, and neck and wrists, and ankles... everywhere.
Fujin let out a yelp, breaking away from Seifer's protective embrace to run the distance to her friend, her protector, her brother,
"Rajin! What did they...? Rajin?" she asked, running up to the table and putting her hands on his knees. As soon as he felt touch, his whole body shook and cringed, as he put down the empty soup bowl and looked down into Fujin's worried stare with feverish eyes.
"F..f..uj. . . Fuu? My little Fuu? You can't be Fujin, you're crying.. . I'm crying, aren't I? Can't let them see that! Who'll take care of my rrats iif I cccry?" Rajin said, bringing his arms down, taking a hand and brushing Fujin's face with it, the other wiping his face.
"You ARE Fujin! Ddid you come to rescue me?" he spoke, a meagre voice squeeking out of what used to boom across plains. Fujin only nodded, grabbing his hand with hers, hardly covering half of it, before he flung his arms around her, lifted her off the floor and onto the table with him, crying like a lost child who had found his mother, hugging her as she threw her arms around what part of him she could crying into his shoulder, petting where he used to have a mop of hair.
Over the tears, Rajin could be heard sobbing,
"Don't let them hurt me... take me away, please don't let them hurt me"
Seifer stood from the entrance watching the gut wrenching scene in horror, backing slowly from the sight of his strongest ally, his best friend, only friend other than Fujin, completely broken, rocking back and forth holding onto Fujin for all the life he had left. His lips quivered, and he understood why Laguna had ordered all the Sorceress Six to escort the visit: anyone else, and he would have found a way to fight back and get Rajin out by force. Unaware of the fact he was backing up, quivering like a stunned child, Seifer hit into something,
"Woa, there Seifer. You okay?" Irvine said, taking a hold of Seifer's shoulder as Seifer spun around to see he had hit Irvine and Selphie. The rest of the Six were in various states of shock, Quistis had slumped to the floor holding her head in her hand as the other was draped on Zell's arm, as he knelt beside her, looking on the scene in front of him in confused horror; Squall held his hand over the holster of his Lionheart Gunblade, the other holding Rinoa to him as she panted back tears, wide-eyed holding on to Squall for fear of falling through the floorboards. What struck him the most in the second he saw all this was Selphie, she clung to herself, Irvine's arm draped around her shoulders and she looked angry, but not just angry, there was such pity and love in her angered eyes he thought he would explode if he didn't turn away. Turn away he did, giving out a gutteral shout as he swung away from Irvine, spinning around and smacking himself into a nearby table, yelling as the corner jutted into his stomach, tumbling backwards holding his hand out as if to protect him from the scene, hitting the corner wall hard,
"No. No, no this can't... Hyne what have I done? What have I done? HYNE! NO! No.." he kept repeating it as the tears came, as he flung his coat around him, letting out cries of agony as his eyes shut and Kiros had to order the guards back to their posts as they trained their guns at him. He felt a hand on his shoulder, and tore away, shrinking back from the touch as he blindly flew his arm in the direction of the touch, barely missing whoever had touched him, as he scampered farther along the wall.
"Stay away from me" he snarled, sounding as desperate as a wounded animal, Kiros again having to order the Guards back, barking at them to stand down. Somehow, he knew that what happened next was important, as he opened his eyes to see Selphie again at his side, touching his shoulder, he shrinked away, but didn't fight as the spunky brunette took ahold of his hand, attempting to raise him up,
"You didn't cause this. That... wasn't supposed to happen"
He looked up into her caring, pitiful, angered, sad eyes, breathing heavily to keep the tears back, as Irvine came forward, offering his hand to Seifer's free hand,
"I'm so sorry" Seifer whispered, battling the tears, refusing to cry in front of Squall,
"We know. It's not your fault" Irvine said, serious,
"C'mon, up! Go see him, Seifer. He needs to see you" Irvine finished off, passing Seifer an unused hankie,
"Not like that, though"
Seifer sniffed, nodding as he took the small hankerchief, wiping his face, blinking a few times before sucking in air, nodding stiffly. He was ready; Selphie let go of his hand, gave him a push and sunk her arms around Irvine's waist as he cocked his hat reassuringly, it helped. Walking towards his Posse, or what was left of it, Seifer could hear Fujin singing softly, her voice halting a few times to sniff back tears before continuing the lullaby they had sung yesterday night. Rajin now had his head on Fujin's shoulder, both arms still holding onto the tiny woman practically wrapping twice around her, as she knelt on her knees to reach his shoulders, Seifer turned back, genuinely ashamed and unworthy of whatever healing was being had, but he caught one glimpse at Selphie and Irvine, and turned back.
Clearing his throat, Seifer looked down at his feet, prepared to say... too late, Rajin turned his head, saw the awkward, distressed man beside him, and swung one huge, bruise covered arm around him, using his natural strength, or what was left of it, to bring the blonde man into the hug. All Seifer could do was put his arms around Fujin and Rajin, broken, waisted, finally letting himself feel some relief: Rajin didn't hate him. Unbeknowance to the three of them, Laguna walked into the Cafeteria, B-lining it to Kiros as he saw what condition Rajin was in, after a whisper from Selphie set him off, he was not happy.
Breathing one refreshingly deep breath, Rajin let go his death grip, easing the embrace the three shared,
"Please tt..tell me you two are h..happy?" Rajin whispered, looking hopefully, yet sorrowfully into each of the lovers' eyes.
"AFFIRMATIVE" Fujin whispered back, feeling Rajin's face with her hand, as he leaned into it like a puppy. Seifer took Fujin's waist in one arm,
"Thank you, Rajin. Thank you so much." Seifer said, shaking his head slowly,
"This... this is too much. You shouldn't ... I should be"
"Hey, Seif. You wouldn't h..handle it. I'd do a..aanything for you guys."
"Gratitude"
"It's worth it. Hearing your v..voice.. seeing you so pp.pretty? It's worrth it." Rajin stumbled over the words, looking lovingly into both Fujin's eyes.
"Allways knew you were ..beautiful." Fujin smiled, hugging his neck,
"Seifer?"
"Yes, Rajin? Anything."
"Love her. If you don't... I'll sick my ratts on you, ya know" Rajin said, trying to smile despite the pain from his broken lip. Seifer smiled for him,
"There it is... been waiting f..f.for ttthe Almasssy smile, ya kn..now" Rajin stuttered, clapping his other hand on Seifer's shoulder, looking deep into Seifer's eyes with all the pain, fear, and lingering sanity he had left,
"Seifer?"
"Yes?"
"I'm gonna go through with this, ya know... Do something for me? L..live. S..sshow Fujjjin what it's like to be h..hhappy, ya know? P..pplease be hhappy. My sacrifice. All mmine. Not yours anymore. Just... save me a sspot on your boat, kay?" Seifer nodded, unable to speak from biting back tears.
"G..ggo, ya know... I g..gotta go back... my rrats'll be h..hungry. I saved them some lunch. Nice lunch, ya know. Go b..be happy, ya k..know."
Rajin released his grip on their shoulders, giving one last pat as he pushed Seifer and Fujin together. Nodding first lightly, and then exageratedly, Rajin looked them over one more time,
"Yep, y..ou'll have cute kids." he said, sliding off the table, warily avoiding the chairs as he put the crumbs he had saved into his bowl, grabbing the bowl to himself as he mumbled,
"Be careful, the chairs are the ones that'll getcha, ya know" as he walked towards where Kiros and Ward stood with Laguna.
"Okay, I'm rready now. Cccan we go back now? My rrats'll be hhungry" Rajin said, smiling as Ward nodded, putting a hand on his shoulder and leading him with the guards back to the cell where Shiva and Ifrit would be waiting. Laguna went to talk to Seifer and Fujin, as Kiros stood there in the middle doors closing on Rajin as he realised, if given the choice to suffer in exchange for Laguna and Raine to be happy, he would have taken every pain Hyne could throw at him. Over and over and over and over and over.