[Sitting with noticeable discomfort, Alex Ultra grabs the reigns of his computer and begins typing] Hello again.
Lila: [Snickers] I see you got changed back.
Alex Ultra: Yeah, no thanks to you.
Alex: Glad I could help!
Alex Ultra: Help!? You're the one who stuck me with that BAN!!! (BAN: Big A** Needle)
Alex: Yeah, you forgot I could fly, didn't you?
Alex Ultra: Well, it slipped my mind...
Lila: [Laughing wildly] Yeah! That was great!! HAHA!!!
Alex Ultra: Look, can we just get on with this?
Reviewer Responses:
I just remembered my name!: Nice to meet you Kurai!! [Alex Ultra smiles goofishly] Am I really all that Kawaii? Alex: Yes! Alex Ultra: [Smiles stupidly] Shoot... Lila: I'm not sure if I should be flattered or angry. But if you try anything too frisky, you WILL find yourself with a face full of dirt!
End Reviewer Responses.
Alex: So, what do you think about being a cat, hmm?
Alex Ultra: Well, on the bright side, I now know why Goku's hand spends so much time at the back of his neck! [Begins massaging back of neck] =^_^=
Alex: Uh... right.
Lila: Oh geeze.
Alex Ultra: Seriously! This feels great! And I think it's increasing blood flow to my head! [Begins smiling dopishly] =^_^= This really does feel good, and now I don't have that crick in my neck!
Alex: Sheesh, can we just get on with it? Please?
Alex Ultra: Fine...
Before we do, however, it is prudent to add one more mark to the language thing. We all know that Kuno perceives things differently, and I have gone to great lengths to translate his thoughts. They are denoted by two equal signs. =This shall be but one example of Kuno greatness!= And by greatness, it means stupidity.
(I am experimenting with a new format; hopefully it will make a difference. This is a test.)
On with it!
Chapter 6
~~~~~~*** OF BOYS AND GIRLS ***~~~~~~
~~ In Neo Realm ~~
"So you see, Merlin, we're going to have a lot of trouble if something isn't done!" Hanumiki had just finished with his explanation of the situation on Earth.
Merlin (or so he asked to be called) frowned. "Okay. But what do you propose I do about it? I can't exactly go there and set things right. That's beyond my abilities."
Hanumiki smiled. "Well, you see. I recently caught wind that you have a bit of a prodigy."
Merlin looked confused for a moment, but only for a moment. "I see."
~~ Back to Earth ~~
"Yes sir, that's right. Akari Hintuki." A girl of medium build and light complexion had her fingers intertwined as an official looking man in a gray suit looked over a number of papers.
"Okay, it looks like everything is in order." He eyed a small black card that the girl had left on the desk. "Could you...?"
"What?" She looked down at the card. "Oh, okay. No problem I guess." She picked up the card and held it by the ends of her fingers.
After a few seconds, before the officer's eyes, a seemingly holographic design, much like that of his own badge, appeared in the space before the card.
Almost mesmerized, the officer let one hand drift toward the design, feeling the texture of what he saw as if it was actually there.
Looking over the ribbon surrounding the central pit, he saw words. 'Agent of: IDC'
Breaking his mesmerized state, he looked her in the eye. She couldn't be any older than sixteen, but here she had a badge. True, he wasn't familiar with an organization called IDC, but something like that wasn't exactly easy to come across. "May I?"
Smiling, she handed him the card, and the design immediately faded from view.
Looking at it, he mimicked the way the girl had held the card. After more than a minute, there was no response.
The girl let out a short giggle. "You see? That's how you know it's real. I'm the only one who can make it work."
The officer shook the card questioningly, then handed it back to her, along with several papers. "Well, it's good enough for me. Welcome to the country, Akari."
Smiling, Akari took what was offered to her. "Thank you!" With a quick shake of his hands, she stood up, and left the office.
~~ The Tendo Household ~~
"Oh come on Ranma. It's not that bad!" Akane was doing her best to calm Ranma's nerves. "And besides, Nabiki's paying for the whole thing!"
Ranma looked straight into Akane's eyes. "That's what's got me nervous. She doesn't do anything unless there's something in it for her." Ranma's eyes shot forward again; never taking them off the sidewalk they had previously been trained on.
I looked forward myself for a second or two, then voiced my thoughts. "I must admit. That does seem rather out of character for her. But she wasn't acting any different... I wonder what she's got up her sleeve..." I said it more for Akane's benefit, as I knew Ranma was already thinking the same thing.
Akane decided not to say any more, or maybe she was thinking about it now too. But whatever she was doing, it left an uncomfortable silence between the three of us.
Ranma was the first to break the silence. "Akane, when did your sister say he'd be there?"
"Hmm? She said about noon. And I guess she'd know... she seems to be rather well connected."
Ranma nodded approval, and we continued to walk in silence. Yes, I said walk. Even stranger, Ranma wasn't even on the fence!
I sincerely believed the world might crumble soon.
About ten minutes of silence later, we arrived at the school grounds, where Ranma was supposed to meet with Kuno.
"So, Saotome. You have come."
"Kuno."
"Well, I have heard that you have for me some information?" Kuno's victorious grin spoke volumes, most of it Shakespearean. At least he wasn't acting any different.
Ranma sighed. "I spoke with Ranko, and if you make the arrangements, she'll try to come.
=I spoke with your pig-tailed goddess, and if you proclaim a time and place, she shall come to you.= Kuno's smile became slightly crazed as Ranma's words were undoubtedly twisted in his mind. (A/N: Lila and the others do not know what goes on in his mind, that 'privilege' is mine and mine alone.)
"Haha!! I shall now proclaim a time and place for my meeting with my Pig-Tailed goddess!!!" He looked at me with an expression I didn't care to decipher. "My _other_ pig-tailed goddess. I am sorry, but I have only enough of me for one at a time."
I frowned. "Who's complaining?"
=The blue-pig-tailed goddess smiled. "Oh Kuno! I know that you will come to me in time!"= Kuno smiled again, and I didn't want to know why. "Ah, of course. Now, for the arrangements. If you can but relay this information to my fair pig-tailed girl, I shall wait for her in front of the Kuno mansion, as I am not familiar with the location of the hole you undoubtedly have her locked up in."
'Oh god. This guy's an idiot to make idiots look good!'
"And the time shall be seven o' clock. As that will allow us plenty of time to get to know each other." 'And to find a way to break Saotome's spell over her and replace it with one of my own!' Kuno's smile took on a sinister look, and I somehow felt like I knew what he was thinking.
"Fine Kuno. I'll let her know." Ranma turned around and left without another word.
Akane watched him go, and I stayed behind waiting for Akane.
Turning to Kuno, Akane let a smile cross her lips. "Oh, and Kuno."
"Yes, fair Akane?"
"I'll make sure that Ranma doesn't interrupt your Perfect night." Smiling, she walked calmly away.
"A gesture which I appreciate, and although I believe I am capable of defending against that foul sorcerer myself, the assistance will help me to keep things from getting out of hand."
Throwing a frown at Kuno, I followed after Akane, also smiling. 'Things are already out of hand.' "Idiot."
~~
Seven hours, seven hours with which most of those in the Tendo household went through their normal routine. I practiced in the dojo, attempting to build on the moves and principals taught me during my stay. By incorporating what I had seen in person and on TV, I believe I made a new type of the Anything Goes style. True, I needed more practice at it, but Akane had convinced me that I had a rather sharp learning curve. I wasn't all that convinced.
Nabiki was missing for about half that time, and the other half she spent in her room. I still don't know what she was doing, but it wasn't my problem.
Kasumi spent most of this time cleaning the house and trying to calm Mr. Tendo.
Mr. Tendo spent a good portion of this time crying. He kept complaining about how Ranma was going to leave Akane for Kuno. I believe he even got Genma into the act. It took a near collective effort from the rest of the household to get that idea out of their heads. After calming down, the two of them then played Go, Anything Goes style. (A/N: I just now realized, I can't remember what Go is! That's so sad! -_-)
Akane spent a lot of this time lifting weights and yelling at Ranma. The time she didn't spend doing this, she spent doing homework.
Ranma... I really have no idea what he was doing. For once, the other boys left him alone, and the girls didn't try to claim him as their own. It seemed that glompage had run out recently or something. (Glompage: The force of a glomp, the driving force/energy behind said glomp. Without it, glomping becomes near impossible. ;) That's three words I've had to add to my computer's dictionary!) As far as I could tell, the only reason Akane was yelling at him was because he was acting depressed or being quiet, or something to that effect.
The last hour was spent with Ranko getting ready. First, the kimono went on, then Nabiki showed her how to act 'convincing'. Not that Kuno needed any convincing. And as for learning to stand being near Kuno without blowing her top, that was something no one could prepare her for.
"Oh Ranma, you'll be fine! Just don't remove his head and you'll be fine." Kasumi's statement seemed to be the most helpful of all, while only stating the obvious.
I think Nabiki was the one having the most fun with all of this. She even added the final touch, unwrapping Ranko's pig-tail, and tying it down at the base, letting the rest of it fan out from there. Ranko protested at first, saying something about dragons, but Nabiki assured her it would be fine. I was just confused.
By seven, she was all ready to go, and was sitting in the back of a car that was rented just for this purpose, accompanied only by Nabiki, as Akane and I watched from the Roof-tops.
Ranko seemed rather put off by the turn of events, but to everyone else, it was the event of a lifetime.
~~
'Well, Ranma. Seems you've gotten yourself into quite a predicament.' Searching the immediate area, the girl known as Akari found Kuno, sitting in a small rose-box. 'Wow, not bad. And he looks pretty good too. Almost sophisticated! Too bad he's an utter maniac...' Smiling at her revelation, she jumped away, not even noticed by the two atop the adjacent building.
She didn't bother with following them, as she already had plans. She knew where she wanted to go.
Besides, Kuno wasn't exactly hush-hush about his plans. Anyone with ears could hear him proclaiming his plans to the entire world.
Rubbing the side of her head, she tried to make _it_ go away. 'God! His voice gives me a headache!'
~~
Ranko allowed herself to be let out of the car, albeit begrudgingly.
Taking only a short look around, she found Kuno, sitting on a large, fancy white bench surrounded by roses of all different sizes and colors. He was wearing a white tuxedo and smiling to her invitingly.
Giving a pleading look to Nabiki, she only got a smile and was pointed to Kuno.
Kuno saw his vision of beauty, and even his eyes were taken by surprise by the shocking reality of it. Ranko was wearing a light blue kimono that took to her very well, complimenting her eyes and setting off her hair very well. In her hair was a large red rose in one side, and a light blue bow sticking out the other side, seemingly holding her hair in place, but actually hiding the piece of string that was really holding it there.
Ranko felt really stupid, especially knowing that she was here to spend a night with Kuno. 'Decapitation? No, killing isn't good enough. Maybe I could cut his skin open and throw lemon juice in the cuts? Yeah, that sounds sufficiently unpleasant.' She smiled at her own thoughts, a vengeful, dark smile that told of vicious intent.
=She smiled at him, a shy, pleasant smile that told of happiness and joy at being free from that sorcerer's grasp.=
"Ah! So you have come, my pig-tailed goddess. Might I propose that we sit here as we wait for the chariot that will whisk us off on our night of merriment?" With a smile, he gestured to a spot on the bench beside him.
'Well, I guess sitting can't hurt anything.' With a small frown, she sat down.
Immediately, she assessed her surroundings, and thinking quickly, she came up with a way to make it a bit unpleasant for Kuno.
Without his noticing, she pulled on a vine beside his seat so that it was on the bench, right where he was about to sit.
POIK!! ERK!!!
Kuno's expression was worth a thousand words as he sat on the spiky vine. Turning to Ranko, he smiled, with pained tears in his eyes. 'One small victory.' Ranko smiled back to him, trying to hide the vengeful laughter welling in her stomach.
"Ah, my fa-air goddess. Your beau-OO-ty is unparalleled. But allow me to add but one small token to your atti-II-er to make it even more perfect!" Slowly, he stood, trying to ignore the pull as the rose was ripped from its vine and stuck to his butt.
Ranko nearly had tears in her eyes as Kuno walked straight-legged to a vine in the corner with a pair of shears.
After a moment, he turned back around, with one hand behind his back, and offered his pickings. One blue rose.
Ranko saw a small crushed rose hit the ground behind him as Kuno used his other hand to remove it from his bottom-side. She could swear she could hear unstifled laughter in the distance. At this point, she could barely see straight through the tears that came from holding back her laughter.
=So happy at seeing the gift he was offering her (indeed, she was in tears of joy!) Kuno found that she was forgetting to accept it. So he took the liberty to place it in her hair, just above her left ear to perfectly frame her face. The added effect made her look even more like a true goddess.=
Ranko was so busy holding back her laughter that she didn't even notice Kuno placing the rose in her hair.
~~
Akane and I were laughing our heads off. "OH KAMI! That was so PERFECT!!! HAHA!!"
"Yeah, I think I saw tears in his eyes! But wouldn't it have been better if he had started jumping around like a monkey?"
Akane fought back the last of her giggles to climb back to the edge of the building and look over. "Hehe, yeah, that would have been just perfect!"
"Hehe, [huff] oh, man. Wow. Hey, I wonder if anyone else is watching this right now?"
~~
ACHOO!!! Sniff.
"Wow, I wonder who's talking about me?" Looking back to the scene with Kuno, Atsuko smiled. "Nabiki was right. This does look to be worth it." Picking up her camera, she resumed her little photo shoot.
Passingly, she wondered where the other two were. Nabiki had made sure that at least three girls with cameras followed Ranma during this entire meeting. Which meant that there were two more somewhere around.
~~
ACHOO!!
"Oh god. I hope I'm not getting a cold."
~~
HASNKKT!!
"Ooohh.. I gotta stop holding those in! They really hurt! But I can't be heard, I must stay stealthy."
~~~~~~*** Evil, aren't I? ***~~~~~~
Yes, that is the end of chapter six. The next chapter will further document Kuno's conquest of the pig-tailed girl.
But for now, I must take my leave.
~~ Somewhere far away ~~
Azusa continues to look about the streets for the kitty that she happened across the other day. "Oh! I wonder where Jean-Claude went to?"
~~ Back here ~~
HACHOO!!!
Oh, man, don't tell me. I don't want to know.
Alex: Hey, it sounds like someone's talking about you!
Lila: It's about time someone talked about him instead of me.
Locke: [Snort] What are you people doing in here?
Alex: [Big friendly smile] Nothing! Hey, Locke! Wanna go training!?
Locke: Huh? Why? Whoa-!!
Lila: I have a feeling I know where they're going.
Alex Ultra: Me too. [Begins scratching neck, then grabs culprit hand] STOP THAT, EVIL HAND!!!!
Lila: Awe! Don't do that! I love the way you blush every time you scratch your neck!
Alex Ultra: -_- Oh god.
Lila: ^.^
Bringer of Hope and Creator of Worlds
Alex and Alex Ultra
LATER