A short, completely ridiculous Ducks fic, post D3. Read if you dare. Feel free to flame me for this waste of time.
The Mighty Ducks were lined up on the ice. Well, rather, Kenny and Guy were standing side by side on the ice, looking nervously at Coach Orion.
'Where's the rest of the team?' he asked furiously.
'Well, you see, sir,' said Kenny, nervously. 'Conway and Averman are in bed.'
'At this hour? It's nearly nine o'clock, what are they still doing asleep?'
'Er,' said Guy. 'They're not exactly asleep, sir…'
There was silence for a moment.
'Oh,' said Coach Orion. 'I see. What about Connie?'
'Well, all the doors were locked, but she and Julie were in her room, not saying anything,' said Guy, ashamedly.
'Right. Goldberg?'
'He and Tyler were discussing Goldberg's 'stickwork', sir,' said Kenny, blushing.
'Banks?'
'We heard Robertson yelling 'Yee-hah, ride 'em cowboy' from Banks's room,' said Guy, wincing.
'The Bash Brothers?'
'Crashes, glass breaking, unintelligible yelling and squeaking, sir,' said Kenny.
'Good god! Do you mean to tell me that you two are the only straight people left on my team?' he yelled, going puce.
'Er, no, sir,' said Kenny.
'Thank the lord! Who else is there?'
'To assume makes an ass out of u and me, sir' said Guy, looking sideways at Kenny.
Coach Orion sighed and closed his eyes. 'Go,' he said shortly.
'Thank you, sir,' said Kenny, skating off with Guy.
'What's wrong with hockey players these days?' he moaned, shoulders slumping.
'Oh, I wouldn't worry about the players, Coach,' said Bombay, slipping an arm around his shoulders. 'It's the coaches you have to watch out for.'
END
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