TITLE: Burgandy

AUTHOR: Ben Is Glory

RATING: PG-13

PAIRING: B/S

DISCLAIMER: Joss, CoRo. Some dialogue appears in "As You Were." I think that's pretty much it.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Meep. It took awhile, I know. I'm sorry. ::looks around sheepishly:: But just in time for eight o'clock Tuesday night! Hope this fills your Buffy void. Side note? Who caught SMG on Ellen? Hee. Love. That. Girl. Hopefully this chappy will explain why her character in my fic did some crazy things. You never know, maybe you'll even feel sorry for her :/

FEEDBACK: I like it. I love it. I want some more of it.

***

Buffy's emotions were on overload. The second Will stood to put on his pants, the memory of the night before came flooding back to her. She remembered coming over to his house a crying wreck and taking comfort in him. Now she felt ill, scared, and ashamed.

Composing herself, she managed to push all criticizing thoughts to the back of her head and attempted to have a normal conversation with her boyfriend. As soon as he left the apartment, Buffy scurried about, quickly dressing and grabbing her bags. Hurrying to avoid Will, she booked to the elevator and out the lobby of the building.

The nearest coffee shop was to the left, so Buffy went right. She felt tears prick the back her eyes but willed them away. You can't fall apart yet, she told herself. Mentally going through her wallet, she wondered if she had enough money for a cab. Ordinarily, she would walk since Will didn't live too far from the school, but ordinarily she wouldn't be carrying suitcases, either.

Risking the situation, she hailed a taxi. Carefully, Buffy eased herself into the vehicle and closed the door. She began to feel warm, so she gently rested her head against the cool glass of the window. Feelings she had tried so hard to suppress were beginning to leak out.

I was so stupid. How could I use him like that? Guilt overwhelmed her as she thought of Will, and she felt as if she were choking. Buffy's instant reaction was to justify the things she had done. I was just vulnerable and needy. Mom would be so disappointed. Her eyes automatically closed as Buffy pictured her mother out of pain, of grief, and out of love. She repeated, So stupid. So needy. So disappointed. It never crossed her mind that maybe she really loved him.

***

Will was frantic. He searched his tiny flat for any trace of the missing girl but found nothing. All of her things were gone. Defeated, he sat down heavily on his bed. He knew this wasn't like her, and he knew he had to do something. He just didn't know what. In that moment, he had never felt so helpless or alone. A tear slowly rolled down his cheek.

***

The cab drove away having dropped Buffy off, and she watched it move down the road. She wished she could go with it, to ride away and never come back. Maybe that would make everything easier.

Breaking out of the trance, she eventually turned away from the street and walked back to her dorm. As she crept to her door, she hoped Willow was at Oz's or had already left for her class. Probably not since it was still so early, but she hoped anyway.

To Buffy's surprise, she found the room empty. Of course, she loved Willow, but she was in desperate need of solitude.

Crawling into bed, she curled up under the covers like she used to do when she was a little girl. She closed her eyes and absentmindedly played with her horseshoe necklace. Listening to the silence of the early morning, Buffy realized what a mess her life had become. She wanted to laugh, not out of happiness, out of sorrow. A sort of ironic giggle she felt she should be familiar with by now. Laughter inevitably fell to tears. Softly, as to not disturb the vacant room, she cried herself to sleep.

***

"Tell me you love me," I demand.

"I love you," he replies.

"Tell me you want me."

His eyes flash to disbelief for a second before returning to absolute lust. "I always want you."

I can feel him all over me, surrounding me. It is beautiful and intoxicating, and I never want it to end. I can feel it coming; I'm so close. Here it comes! Anticipation of release, but now my body is wracked with panic and fear.

Suddenly, I'm out in a field. Taking a look around, I find my mother standing in a patch of daffodils, the bright sun beating down on her. She's saying something. What is she saying? I can't understand you! She's walking away. Am I supposed to follow? Wait! Wait for me! Please, please wait for me!

The telephone rang, and Buffy was jolted awake. Tears streamed down her face, and her body shone with sweat. Doing the best to pull herself together, she looked at the clock. Eleven thirty. The phone continued to ring, but she refused to answer it. She sank back down into bed as she heard the familiar voice on the answering machine.

"Buffy, pet, if you're there, please pick up. I just want to know if you're okay." Will's voice dropped. "I love you." He hung up, and she rolled over, knowing nothing she could say to him now would help the situation. That afternoon, she would talk with Willow, and then at night she would call Dawn. For the time being, Buffy just lay in bed taking in each moment as it came and praying the next would be a little bit easier.

***

Will slammed his cell shut angrily and silently screamed every curse word he knew. "Bugger, sodding hell, fuck!" Somehow, he had managed to slip out of the class he was helping Giles cover to call his missing girlfriend. That was the fourth time he'd called her that morning, and still he got no answer. It was almost noon, so class was nearly over. If he hadn't agreed to go out with Giles for lunch, he would have rushed straight over to her room. I guess that will have to wait, he thought.

Creeping back into the classroom, he caught the tail end of the lecture. "Thank you, everyone," Giles told the exiting students. "Remember the reading for next week. You'll be starting a new unit that is imperative to the final examination." Noticing Will's troubled expression, he asked, "Is everything all right, William?"

"I don't think so," the younger man replied. "But I'm going to find out."

-TBC-

***

A/n: Did this fill your Buffy void? I hope so! Fear not, lovelies. Everything will ((probably)) work out in the end. Probably… ;) Anyways, latest Spuffy stories I've got going include Smile ((which is already posted)), and I'm also working on another. Lots of Spuffy in the future. In the meantime, REVIEW! :D