Disclaimer: Legolas and Morgoth belong to Tolkien. All X-files
characters belong to FOX, and 1013 productions. No copyright
infringement is intended.
Chapter Five - Conspiracies & Cover-ups
AD Skinner's Office
FBI Headquarters
Washington, DC
May 23rd, 2002
8:00 AM
Mulder stared at Skinner long and hard, unable to believe what he'd just heard. "You want me to do what?"
"It's simple, Mulder," replied Skinner patiently. "You started this mess, you clean it up."
"But, but... I can't participate in a government coverup! I refuse to lie to the public!" exclaimed Mulder indignantly.
"You really don't understand the severity of this situation, do you, Mulder?" said Skinner sternly. "If somebody doesn't put a stop to these rumours soon, we could have a riot on our hands!"
"But why me?" Mulder came very close to whining.
"If you don't want to take care of this press conference, Mulder, I'd be more than happy to assign you to desk duty. Then you can answer all the hysterical phone calls about how the FBI kidnapped Legolas, or 'that hottie elf' as many of his admirers like to call him."
Mulder frowned, clearly torn between sticking to his morals and facing screeching monsters, or participating in a government conspiracy of his own.
"I have a recording of a sample message left for the FBI if that will help you make up your mind," offered Skinner. He took out a conveniently placed tape recorder, and pressed "play."
Mulder cringed as the high-pitched screams of a teenage girl rang out from the recorder.
"ORLANDO BLOOM IS NOT A KILLER!! HOW COULD YOU LOCK HIM UP? IT'S ILLEGAL TO LOCK PEOPLE UP WITHOUT EVIDENCE! YOU'LL RUIN HIS ACTING CAREER WITH THIS SCANDAL!!!!"
With a look of distaste on his face, Skinner shut the tape recorder off before it could continue. "So, Mulder. What's your decision?"
Mulder's shoulders slumped, and he trudged out of the office to prepare for the press conference.
Basement Office,
FBI Headquarters
Washington, DC
May 23rd, 2002
10:00 AM
Scully sat down in her chair and gestured for Legolas to take a seat across from her. She had thought about taking him to an official interrogation room, but didn't want to draw any more attention to this case than it was already getting. The press was already having a field day with this, and some of their own agents weren't any better, hovering around trying to catch a glimpse of the "elf."
"So, Mr. --" Scully hesitated, not wanting to refer to the man as Legolas, because that was clearly impossible. She sighed. But what else could she call him? "Mr. Legolas. Would you mind giving us your real name?"
Legolas stared at her for a few moments, brows furrowed in concentration. Tentatively, he replied. "Im Legolas."
"Your real name, please?"
"..."
"Fine, we might as well cut to the chase, " said Scully. "Where were you on May 20th, 2002, at around 4 PM?"
"Where..." repeated Legolas slowly, as though he recognized that specific word. He finally responded, "Eryn Lasgalen."
Scully blinked. That didn't sound any place she'd ever heard of. She'll have to double-check with Mulder on this later. "Okay. And do you know two girls by the names Candace Jones and Daisy Smith?"
"Girls..." Legolas felt a shudder go through him. "Yrch!"
"O..kay. Apparently, you don't like girls." Scully frowned, disturbed by the strong reaction elicited from such a simple word. "Why?"
"Faeg," replied Legolas forcefully. "Raeg."
Scully raised an eyebrow. "Um. Legolas? Are we still speaking English here?"
Legolas shook his head. "No English. Westron?" he offered hopefully.
Scully snapped her notebook shut and stood up. This was getting nowhere. She had no idea if this "Legolas" even understood a single word she said. She knew one thing, though. This man was mentally deranged and should be locked up in a mental institution somewhere. Scully wouldn't be surprised if he was a serial killer with a grudge against teenaged girls.
"Legolas? We head for the medical labs. We're going to see how exactly it is you got those ears of yours. Maybe trace it back to the plastic surgeon that did this for you. Come on. Let's go!"
Press Conference,
Washington DC
May 23rd, 2002
10:00 AM
"... So in conclusion, Mr. Bloom had absolutely nothing to do with any of the events happening here. His agent has contacted us and provided us with an air-tight alibi. We believe that our current suspect may be a delusional fan, who has undergone reconstructive surgery to take on the appearance of his idol." Mulder smiled awkwardly, hoping his nervousness didn't show. "I will now be taking questions from the audience."
"Agent Mulder! Do you understand the motives behind this elf killer's murderous rampage? Is he responsible for all the attacks so far?"
"As I've said before," replied Mulder. "We currently have only circumstantial evidence that he was at one of the crime scenes. There is no reason to link any of the recent deaths and attacks to one killer, who may or may not be the man we currently have under custody."
"Our inside sources have dubbed the recent attacks and deaths the 'Middle-earth Massacre,' implying that they are all caused by creatures from Tolkien's world. What do you have to say to this?"
"Characters from the books are fictional," Mulder replied firmly. "I'm sure any connection to the books are a pure coincidence. We are not ruling out, however, the possibility of these crimes being linked to fanatic extremists. I believe that will be all for today."
"Agent Mulder!" "Agent Mulder!" "One more question!"
"Please. No more questions. We will issue another press release when we have more information about this case. Meanwhile, we urge the public to be vigilant and report any suspicious sighting to our FBI hotline, 1-800-123-4566. Thank you."
Medical Lab
Washington, DC
May 23rd, 2002
10:30 AM
Scully surveyed the lab ruefully, trying to decide how many people she would need to clean this up. Trays and medical instruments are scattered all over the floor, and several pieces of expensive machinery appear to be broken. Not good. Not good at all.How the hell does a guy that skinny end up being so strong? Scully glared over at Legolas, who was sleeping peacefully on the examination table. If she'd known how much trouble he would be to sedate, she would have called for backup.
"Note to self: In addition to being scared of girls, elf guy does not like needles," she muttered, shaking her head.
"Hey, Scully! What happened? You look worse off than I am, and I just came from a press conference." Mulder chose that opportune moment to burst in the door, looking confused.
"Your elf guy here went berserk when I tried to take a blood sample and nearly destroyed the whole lab. Now I'm stuck cleaning it up. "
Mulder winced as he mentally calculated the damage caused. "What about the lab assistants?"
"Hurt. This guy took out almost everyone on shift who came by to help."
"Wow. Impressive."
"At least we got some blood and DNA samples out of this whole mess," said Scully, sighing heavily. "They might take a few days to process, but the x-rays should be coming in soon."
"Sounds good. So we wait here?" asked Mulder.
"Yep. And get started putting things back to where they should be. Maybe if we clean it up a bit, this won't look as bad when Skinner comes to ream us out."
Elvish (Sindarin)
Im Legolas - I am Legolas.
Ery Lasgalen - Greenwood the Great.
Yrch - Orc
Faeg - mean, bad.
Raeg - wrong
Chapter 6 - Strange Discoveries
Chapter Five - Conspiracies & Cover-ups
AD Skinner's Office
FBI Headquarters
Washington, DC
May 23rd, 2002
8:00 AM
Mulder stared at Skinner long and hard, unable to believe what he'd just heard. "You want me to do what?"
"It's simple, Mulder," replied Skinner patiently. "You started this mess, you clean it up."
"But, but... I can't participate in a government coverup! I refuse to lie to the public!" exclaimed Mulder indignantly.
"You really don't understand the severity of this situation, do you, Mulder?" said Skinner sternly. "If somebody doesn't put a stop to these rumours soon, we could have a riot on our hands!"
"But why me?" Mulder came very close to whining.
"If you don't want to take care of this press conference, Mulder, I'd be more than happy to assign you to desk duty. Then you can answer all the hysterical phone calls about how the FBI kidnapped Legolas, or 'that hottie elf' as many of his admirers like to call him."
Mulder frowned, clearly torn between sticking to his morals and facing screeching monsters, or participating in a government conspiracy of his own.
"I have a recording of a sample message left for the FBI if that will help you make up your mind," offered Skinner. He took out a conveniently placed tape recorder, and pressed "play."
Mulder cringed as the high-pitched screams of a teenage girl rang out from the recorder.
"ORLANDO BLOOM IS NOT A KILLER!! HOW COULD YOU LOCK HIM UP? IT'S ILLEGAL TO LOCK PEOPLE UP WITHOUT EVIDENCE! YOU'LL RUIN HIS ACTING CAREER WITH THIS SCANDAL!!!!"
With a look of distaste on his face, Skinner shut the tape recorder off before it could continue. "So, Mulder. What's your decision?"
Mulder's shoulders slumped, and he trudged out of the office to prepare for the press conference.
Basement Office,
FBI Headquarters
Washington, DC
May 23rd, 2002
10:00 AM
Scully sat down in her chair and gestured for Legolas to take a seat across from her. She had thought about taking him to an official interrogation room, but didn't want to draw any more attention to this case than it was already getting. The press was already having a field day with this, and some of their own agents weren't any better, hovering around trying to catch a glimpse of the "elf."
"So, Mr. --" Scully hesitated, not wanting to refer to the man as Legolas, because that was clearly impossible. She sighed. But what else could she call him? "Mr. Legolas. Would you mind giving us your real name?"
Legolas stared at her for a few moments, brows furrowed in concentration. Tentatively, he replied. "Im Legolas."
"Your real name, please?"
"..."
"Fine, we might as well cut to the chase, " said Scully. "Where were you on May 20th, 2002, at around 4 PM?"
"Where..." repeated Legolas slowly, as though he recognized that specific word. He finally responded, "Eryn Lasgalen."
Scully blinked. That didn't sound any place she'd ever heard of. She'll have to double-check with Mulder on this later. "Okay. And do you know two girls by the names Candace Jones and Daisy Smith?"
"Girls..." Legolas felt a shudder go through him. "Yrch!"
"O..kay. Apparently, you don't like girls." Scully frowned, disturbed by the strong reaction elicited from such a simple word. "Why?"
"Faeg," replied Legolas forcefully. "Raeg."
Scully raised an eyebrow. "Um. Legolas? Are we still speaking English here?"
Legolas shook his head. "No English. Westron?" he offered hopefully.
Scully snapped her notebook shut and stood up. This was getting nowhere. She had no idea if this "Legolas" even understood a single word she said. She knew one thing, though. This man was mentally deranged and should be locked up in a mental institution somewhere. Scully wouldn't be surprised if he was a serial killer with a grudge against teenaged girls.
"Legolas? We head for the medical labs. We're going to see how exactly it is you got those ears of yours. Maybe trace it back to the plastic surgeon that did this for you. Come on. Let's go!"
Press Conference,
Washington DC
May 23rd, 2002
10:00 AM
"... So in conclusion, Mr. Bloom had absolutely nothing to do with any of the events happening here. His agent has contacted us and provided us with an air-tight alibi. We believe that our current suspect may be a delusional fan, who has undergone reconstructive surgery to take on the appearance of his idol." Mulder smiled awkwardly, hoping his nervousness didn't show. "I will now be taking questions from the audience."
"Agent Mulder! Do you understand the motives behind this elf killer's murderous rampage? Is he responsible for all the attacks so far?"
"As I've said before," replied Mulder. "We currently have only circumstantial evidence that he was at one of the crime scenes. There is no reason to link any of the recent deaths and attacks to one killer, who may or may not be the man we currently have under custody."
"Our inside sources have dubbed the recent attacks and deaths the 'Middle-earth Massacre,' implying that they are all caused by creatures from Tolkien's world. What do you have to say to this?"
"Characters from the books are fictional," Mulder replied firmly. "I'm sure any connection to the books are a pure coincidence. We are not ruling out, however, the possibility of these crimes being linked to fanatic extremists. I believe that will be all for today."
"Agent Mulder!" "Agent Mulder!" "One more question!"
"Please. No more questions. We will issue another press release when we have more information about this case. Meanwhile, we urge the public to be vigilant and report any suspicious sighting to our FBI hotline, 1-800-123-4566. Thank you."
Medical Lab
Washington, DC
May 23rd, 2002
10:30 AM
Scully surveyed the lab ruefully, trying to decide how many people she would need to clean this up. Trays and medical instruments are scattered all over the floor, and several pieces of expensive machinery appear to be broken. Not good. Not good at all.How the hell does a guy that skinny end up being so strong? Scully glared over at Legolas, who was sleeping peacefully on the examination table. If she'd known how much trouble he would be to sedate, she would have called for backup.
"Note to self: In addition to being scared of girls, elf guy does not like needles," she muttered, shaking her head.
"Hey, Scully! What happened? You look worse off than I am, and I just came from a press conference." Mulder chose that opportune moment to burst in the door, looking confused.
"Your elf guy here went berserk when I tried to take a blood sample and nearly destroyed the whole lab. Now I'm stuck cleaning it up. "
Mulder winced as he mentally calculated the damage caused. "What about the lab assistants?"
"Hurt. This guy took out almost everyone on shift who came by to help."
"Wow. Impressive."
"At least we got some blood and DNA samples out of this whole mess," said Scully, sighing heavily. "They might take a few days to process, but the x-rays should be coming in soon."
"Sounds good. So we wait here?" asked Mulder.
"Yep. And get started putting things back to where they should be. Maybe if we clean it up a bit, this won't look as bad when Skinner comes to ream us out."
Elvish (Sindarin)
Im Legolas - I am Legolas.
Ery Lasgalen - Greenwood the Great.
Yrch - Orc
Faeg - mean, bad.
Raeg - wrong
Chapter 6 - Strange Discoveries