Disclaimer: As yet my begging has amounted to nothing!

A/N: Just to quell rising fears I'm not going to neglect this story while I'm writing Don't know what you got, I'm doing both at the same time. This one is just harder to write for obvious reasons but I promise I'm not going anywhere. Love you all!

Chapter 12 – The doctor's office

Spike winced when Buffy's grip on his hand tightened considerably but he resisted saying anything. He could only guess at how terrified she must be, and they were only in the waiting room. Joyce had offered to wait for them but Spike had declined the offer, instinctively knowing that Buffy didn't want to be crowded. They had had a brief conversation…if it could be called that…about why Buffy was so scared about talking to the councillor, but she had made little sense. There was of course her almost obsessive fear of being locked up that Spike was at a loss to explain…and something in her look suggested that a part of her felt ashamed of whatever secrets she may have to reveal…as if she were worried it would make him think less of her.

Each day Spike became more and more certain that someone had done this to her. Someone had made her think like this, had made her the shell she seemed to be. And each day he felt his anger towards that faceless entity rising. He wanted to hunt down and hurt them like they had hurt the girl he cared for more than he ever thought possible. It took all his restraint not to just ask her out right. That was the first thing he had been advised against in all the books he'd read in the school library. He didn't consider himself an expert, not in the slightest – hell he was only eighteen, what did he know compared the professionals. Yet every piece of information he had been able to dig up told him that Buffy had to reveal things in her own time. If she had been through some kind of trauma, of which he held little doubt, forcing her to face it prematurely could have devastating consequences.

So as eager as he was to know, he would wait patiently for her to reveal it. He did wonder if she knew how touched he was by the fact that she wanted him with her during her sessions, now scheduled for twice a week on Monday and Thursday afternoons. Knowing that she was likely to be revealing some very painful truths he felt warmth fill his heart at the thought she trusted him enough to be there to hear them. Glancing at her he couldn't help but be charmed all over again by the way she was nervously chewing on her bottom lip. He was about to tell her she should stop however, seeing she was about to make herself bleed, when a friendly head popped around the door she had been staring at intently for the last fifteen minutes.

The sudden movement startled them both and the lady looking over at them smiled sheepishly. "Sorry, didn't mean to startle you." She apologised "Buffy right? Would you like to come in?"

Buffy glanced at Spike, silently begging him once more not to let her do this alone and he smiled reassuringly, squeezing her hand slightly. "I'm right here baby, I'm not going anywhere."

Spike was confused when Buffy's eyes widened slightly, and tilted his head to look at her questioningly – she wasn't the only one who was good with the silent communication! Buffy shook her head to indicate she was fine and looked back towards the door where the lady was now standing aside to let them past. If Buffy were honest with herself she would admit that she had actually been planning on running at this point, but Spike had unknowingly given her the courage to slowly walk towards the office she had been becoming increasingly terrified of. Instead of all the frightening scenarios she had had running through her head the last few days, one single thought was occupying her on that short walk. He called me baby…

Buffy's eyes looked around nervously as she took a seat opposite the lady's desk, Spike taking the seat next to her. Despite Spike's assurances this light, cheery office wasn't all what she had expected. Neither was the young lady looking at her kindly, smiling.

"Hello Buffy." The woman said, ignoring Spike, as she should. This wasn't about him. "I'm Doctor Maclay. You can call me Tara."

Buffy nodded, so far so good.

"Now Mrs Summers had explained your special circumstances to me, and I'm looking into ways for us to communicate." When Buffy help up her notebook, a confused frown on her face Tara took a deep breath. "I'm not going to lie to you Buffy, it is likely that things might happen in these sessions which might upset you. You might not always feel up to writing." At Buffy's suddenly petrified look Tara continued. "But we're not going to talk about anything you're not ready for. And you have your friend William here to look out for you." She added, acknowledging Spike for the first time.

Buffy was very confused. This was nothing like Drusilla and Liam had described. Where were the strait jackets and the screaming? No. She didn't want to think about them right now. When she noticed Tara was looking at her expectantly she realised her thoughts had drifted off without her again. She looked at Tara apologetically and scribbled in her notebook. Sorry, I missed that – what did you say?

Despite her experiences over the last weeks it still always took Buffy by surprise when no one yelled at her if she missed what they were saying. Tara just smiled as she read the note and repeated her question. "Since it's our first session Buffy, I wanted you to just tell me a story. Any story you like as long as it's about yourself. Something you feel comfortable talking about."

Buffy thought hard for a long time, long enough for Spike to wonder if she'd drifted off again, but when he glanced at Tara he could see she obviously wasn't worried, she'd done this hundreds of times. Spike was surprised however by the slow smile which spread across Buffy's face, the first genuine smile he had seen in days happening here of all places. Buffy held up her notebook, questioning if she was supposed to write it down and Tara nodded encouragingly. It was all the incentive Buffy needed to begin scribbling eagerly. Every time she finished a page she would hand it to Spike for him to read out loud, and slowly the story of how her friend William had gotten the scar on his left eyebrow began to unfold…

As he lay on his bed later that night Spike wanted to dismiss Buffy's story as something she had simply made up, although he knew that Buffy wouldn't have lied. She knew how important the sessions were. Also, the details were too similar for him to dismiss. There was no way she could have known without first hand knowledge. Even his mother was sketchy on the details…

Ten years ago…

William laughed to himself as he ran through the park. He much preferred being out in the open to the cramped hotel, and there were more children his own age here for him to play with. Just as that thought crossed his mind however, he heard crying coming from somewhere near by. Looking behind him, he saw his mother watching Dawn play in the sandbox, he was fairly certain she wouldn't notice if he slipped away. Carefully William headed towards the bush that separated the sandbox from the larger area of the park and peeked around the corner. He was very surprised by what he saw.

A few feet away stood Buffy, that girl he helped at the amusement park a few days ago, desperately trying to pull her pig from the clutches of a boy who looked to be a few years older than them. Buffy was crying at the boy to give back Mr Gordo – William assumed she meant the pig – while the bigger boy just continued to laugh at her distress. It just didn't seem right!

"Hey." He called, the other children turning to look at him. Buffy Smiled, pleased to see him, while the other boy just sneered. "Give her back the pig!" William said, stepping closer, hoping his voice sounded more threatening than he felt.

The boy just laughed harder, not letting go. "You gonna make me?" he asked.

"Err…yeah." William replied, not at all sure of that fact…

William wasn't sure what had happened exactly. It was like your average fight between an eight and a ten year old. Blind punching a kicking, a little wrestling, each hoping for a lucky shot…but somehow William had managed to wrestle the pig from the boy's clutches. Standing on shaky legs he walked over to Buffy and handed her the pig, his grin lopsided. Buffy jumped up and down happily, thanking William for rescuing Mr Gordo. So caught up were they in their celebrations – Buffy for the return of Mr Gordo, and William for winning his first fight – that they didn't notice the other boy picking himself up off the floor and grabbing a stone off the ground.

The boy had good aim, hitting William just above his left eye. When he saw the blood suddenly start poring from the wound and William's cries however he didn't stick around to enjoy his victory. He was well away by the time the mothers of the remaining children rushed onto the scene…

His mother and Dawn hadn't seen it happen – only the nameless boy and the girl whose name he had forgotten until recently had seen it happen and he had been sure he would never see either of them again. They had been on holiday after all. How often do you run into someone you met on holiday? It was entirely possible that Buffy had been talking about another little boy who she had called her brave hero wasn't it? She hadn't actually come out and said it had been Spike after all, and her version of the story made William seem a lot more heroic than how he remembered getting his scar…but they were too similar to be coincidence weren't they? With a deep sigh, Spike rolled over and tried to fall asleep. He was too tired to think about this tonight!

A/N: And another chapter is finished! Hope you enjoyed. Please let me know – Love you all as always!