Disclaimer: It's got nothing to do with me!

A/N: Sorry for all the painful waiting but I assure you it's over…for now! I do warn you there is fluffyness ahead, but you know me, it never lasts! Love you all!!!

Chapter 18: Talking

"I love you Spike."

Spike blinked.

He blinked again just to be sure.

After he blinked a third time, he was fairly certain that a now very alert Buffy was lying on the bed with him, still wrapped comfortably in his embrace, showing no inclination to move. She'd awoken him with a kiss; as if he were sleeping beauty (not to detract form his masculinity of course) and she'd just said the most beautiful sentence he had ever heard uttered for no apparent reason than it pleased her to do so. All of this together was making him feel somewhat light-headed.

"Buffy?" he asked softly, afraid any more than a whisper would shatter this perfect dream. His eyes widened however when Buffy just giggled at him. It was such a simple sound, but one he really never thought he would hear from her lips again. The times he'd heard it before were tragically few.

"Yes Spike, it's me." Although her voice was quiet and horse from lack of use, the teasing tone was easily discernable, as was the twinkling light in her eyes that he thought had been lost forever.

"You're talking!" Spike pointed out rather stupidly. Of all the events that had occurred in the last thirty seconds that was the one he chose to fixate on! If his arm weren't quite happily holding Buffy to him he would have hit himself in the head. He was rewarded once more with her soft laughter as she gently cupped his cheek in her palm. Spike unconsciously leaned into her touch, a thousand thoughts flying through him mind at once, faster than he could keep track of them.

"I am." Buffy affirmed, still not moving her eyes from his, apparently willing to drown in their blue depths for quite dome time.

"Must say pet," Spike continued with a trace of his trademark smirk, "that was one hell of an opening line." Buffy suddenly became self-conscious as he mentioned her first words to him after her tentative kiss. She nervously chewed her bottom lip. She'd meant what she said, but so far Spike hadn't made an attempt to reassure her of his own feelings. Uncertainty began to worm its way into her heart – what if she had imagined that voice? What if Spike hadn't really been calling her back? Her fears were dampened however as Spike leaned forward to place a soft, chaste kiss on her lips. It was the briefest of touches, but the warmth that suffused her skin as his lips brushed against hers spoke volumes of the feeling that lay behind it.

Spike leaned back so he could be see her face before he spoke, somehow instinctively knowing that it was important she see his eyes, and the sincerity they held. "Love you too baby." He told her quietly, finally lifting his arm from around her waist and using his thumb to wipe away the tears that escaped her eyes at his quiet admission. "Have done for a long time. You know that don't you?" At Buffy's nod he smiled…but it faded as the events that had led them to this point came suddenly back to the forefront of his mind. What right did he have to be basking in her affection after he had failed her so terribly?

Buffy sensed the change in his mood and carefully disentangled their limbs. There was a conversation they needed to have that was long overdue, and as comfortable and safe as she felt being held by him on her bed, it didn't seem the most appropriate place for their mutual confessions to be laid out. What had passed here in the last few minutes had been one of the most beautiful moments of her life, and she didn't want to taint this place with sadness and guilt. Tugging on Spike's hand, she pulled him from the bed and led him downstairs. It was barely late enough for school to have finished, so they should have some time before Joyce and Rupert returned.

They took seats beside each other on the couch, neither willing to be too far from the other for the time being. It was Spike who began, knowing that while Buffy may be speaking again, it would not be wise to push her into doing too much too soon. There was also the small fact of the boatloads of guilt resting heavily on his shoulders. 

"Buffy…" he began, his heart twisting when she looked at him with such trust in her eyes. God, how much would that change when she knew it was his fault Snyder had pushed her so? "I never told you why I was at the docks did I?" Buffy shook her head, a puzzled frown on her face. Spike took a deep breath before telling the whole tale of how he broke into the school, stole the watch and found her as he threw it into the water…

"So you see," he finished, not daring to look at her and see the love turned to contempt and hatred in her eyes, "it's my fault. If I hadn't taken that bloody watch Snyder wouldn't have had any reason to…"

Before he could finish his thought, a gentle finger against his lips cut him off. He did turn to look at Buffy then, surprised to see nothing but love and humour in her eyes. "Oh Spike." She chuckled, how could someone so perceptive be so sweetly dim? "If you hadn't taken that watch you wouldn't have found me at all." She smiled sadly as she continued, her earlier thoughts coming back to her mind. "I would have drowned that night Spike…part of me wanted to. You saved me."

"But…" Spike tried to protest, but Buffy was having none of it.

"No. You did nothing wrong…to me at least…and, well…Snyder deserved it. There is nothing to forgive. If anything should thank Snyder for what he did!"

"Why?" Spike asked, very confused.

"He made me face some things…things that I've been running from for too long." She told him seriously. There was a lot that hadn't been said yet, a lot of history to go over, but it was a story she only wanted to tell once, and now was not the time.

"Is that why you're talking again?" Spike enquired carefully. He guessed there was still something she hadn't said, but he would wait. He also knew the cliché about looking gift horses in the mouth, but the miracle had been too sudden and unexpected for him to be anything but curious. "Because you faced your past?"

Buffy shrugged her shoulders. "Don't know. Maybe. Guess we'll have to ask Tara."

"But everything is going to be okay though right?" he asked, wanting reassurance for both of them.

"I don't know Spike." Buffy answered honestly, the memory of Snyder's threats still clear in her mind. There was still so much that could go wrong to tear her new world apart, especially now she and Spike had so much more to loose. The thought sent a shiver down her spine and she pulled Spike's arms around her, leaning back against his chest in search of his protection and comfort that he offered willingly, loving the feel of her tiny body nestled in his embrace. "I just don't know…"

A/N: Ok So I'm not good with touching reunions. I'm good with the suffering and the angst…I think…but please let me know what you think. Love you all!