Chapter 16 Classroom
After dinner Severus caught up with Cat on her way back to her classroom to prepare for the next days class.
"My but you have been busy" Severus was all but growling "I would have thought you had learned your lesson last time."
Cat stopped in her tracks, as anger passed over her "Severus, if you're implying something about Remus, stop now."
"You simply can not help yourself can you. You always protected him" Severus said furiously "even after he tried to kill you."
Cat whirled around to face him "Remus never tried to hurt me, ever. It was an accident. Why can't you just accept that?"
"An accident! He attacked you." Severus's voice was cold now "He hunted you down and attacked you like the animal he is."
Cat looked as if he had just struck her. "How can you possibly be so cruel. You act as though he had some control over it. And he didn't 'hunt' me down, I was the one in the woods. No one made me go." she was on the verge of tears "He is my friend Severus, he always has been, nothing is going to change that."
Severus regretted coming to see her now. He hated it when she defended them, any of them, she knew that Remus had almost killed him when they were in school, but still she defended him. The only thing worse than her refusing to listen to reason, was seeing her so upset.
"Severus I have had a rather trying week, if you don't mind, I have classes to prepare for." so saying she quickly climbed the stairs to her classroom.
Severus simply stood there, not sure what he should do. He was still angry, not only had she defended Lupin the entire time she was here, now she went out of her way to help him, to be with him. Deciding to find out once and for all whether she really cared for him, he climbed the stairs after her.
Slowly Severus entered the divination classroom. As his eyes adjusted to the light, he saw Cat in the back sitting at her desk. The fire was roaring but she seemed cold, she was usually so full of happiness and warmth, he immediately regretted his words a few moments ago, he had hurt her.
He had a bad habit of doing that where she was concerned, he just seemed to lose control of his feelings when she was around.
"Catri" Severus approached her slowly "I do need to speak with you."
"Do you really need to speak with me Severus, or do you just want to accuse me some more?" she sounded more tired than angry. Looking up at Severus she could see the wounded look on his face.
"I really had no intention of upsetting you. But you have to understand, he attacked you and me. I have no desire to see history repeat itself. And before you jump to his defence, did you ever wonder why you happened to be in the forest that particular night? Or was that an accident as well?" Severus gently asked her .
"Sev, I know why I was there. I chose to go out. It was a full moon, a blue moon, I needed to go to the forest to complete a spell Lily and I had been working on. Nobody knew I was there but her, and she would never let anyone harm me." Cat took a deep breath and continued "I'm sorry for what Sirius did to you and Remus, it was wrong. There is no defending what he did, even James told him so. But please, don't blame Remus, he didn't even know what had happened."
Severus stared at her, he had never known why she was in the forest, he had always assumed they had planned it that way, the same way they had set him up. "You mean they had nothing to do with what happened, they never lured you outside." disbelief in his voice.
"That's exactly what I mean. Severus, all this anger you're carrying around with you, its not good." Cat said softly as she walked over to Severus. "You can't keep holding it all in, it will kill you, I can already see how much pain its caused you." she reached up to touch his cheek, searching his eyes, hoping he finally understood.
"So all this time, when you have been defending Lupin" Severus was speaking very slowly and softly, as much to himself as to her, "you truly meant he was innocent. It was not because of any feelings you have for him."
"Oh Sev, are you still going on about that? Remus and I went out twice. Period. We are friends, always will be. My clan knows him and accepts him." Cat explained simply "he's like a brother to me, I would think all of our constant battles would have made that obvious." she finished laughing softly. Her palm was against his cheek now and he could smell the delicate fragrance of her perfume.
A small smile crossed Severus's face. He had been so worried, he had no intentions of losing her again, not to anyone. "Then what am I to make of dinner tonight? I heard you will be assisting Lupin in his DADA class." he asked, as he reached up and put his hand over hers. He loved the way she would just walk up to him and touch him, her warmth was intoxicating.
"Now Sev, I'm sure you realize Albus had as much to do with that as Remus." she was finally smiling again "You know that was one of the main reasons he asked my father to send me." she gazed into his eyes again, they seemed suddenly alive to her.
"Then the parchment you gave to Potter today, you still mean it?" he asked gently as he took her hand in his and kissed it.
"Yes, Severus" she said warmly "I still mean it. I really enjoyed our walk the other day." she was beginning to blush, "I'm just sorry it didn't end better."
He put his free arm around her waist, pulling her closer. He caught her perfume again, sweet pea blossoms, closing his eyes he could picture her at the wishing well once more, surrounded by the wild flowers. He let his forehead rest against hers. "Then you accept my invitation" he whispered.
"I .....I... need to think it over Severus, it's a very big step." she sounded unsure "and the holidays are still a few weeks away. And to be honest, I'm a little gun shy about it, I remember what happened last time I visited your home." she said the last sentence very carefully, she didn't want to bring up old wounds. Poor Severus, his father had been so cruel, so hateful. She could still feel herself becoming angry when she thought about it. It was bad enough to treat a guest in your home like that, but to treat you own family so horribly....and Severus did seem to get the brunt of his father's anger. She held Severus closer to her, as she remembered the screaming, and the scars, it hadn't been the first time he had been struck by his father, that was obvious. Cat blinked the memory away, didn't do anyone any good, and she could tell be the way Severus had just tensed his body, he remembered as well.
"You never need to worry about that again" his voice was breaking with emotion "he can never hurt anyone again." Severus felt the familiar wave of pain and anger wash over him. He remembered all too well Catri's one and only visit to his family home. His father had always been harsh, or perhaps cruel was the better word, but he had truly gone out of his way that weekend. He couldn't remember what had been worse, the pain of the blows, or the embarrassment of having her see it all happen.
He could feel her holding him tighter, trying to comfort him now, just as she did then. He remembered the way she cradled him after one of his father's tantrums. She had found him laying on the floor, barely conscious, she had held him in her arms, rocking him, stroking his hair trying to get him to come to, after a few minutes she had finally given up on rousing him so she sat there holding him and singing softly. He had lost his heart to her at that exact moment, everyone else at his home had left him there out of fear or disgust, but not her she was the only one who cared.
Severus tried desperately to stop thinking about the past, he could feel the tears welling up, trying to spill over and escape, but he refused to cry, even in front of her. Never show weakness, that was the one thing his father had taught him, if you show weakness, people will attack you. He nuzzled against her, she felt soft and warm; she felt safe. He wanted this moment to go on forever, to swallow up all the old memories, all the pain and anger, she was right, it would kill him if him didn't find some way to let go.
Shaking himself physically, Severus pulled himself away from her, he needed to be strong. He looked at Catri, she was searching his face, making sure he was alright. "There is no need to worry Catri, I refuse to allow the past to repeat itself" he was still blinking away tears.
Cat was still searching his eyes, she took his face in her hands, she could feel his pain. "You don't have to hide from me Sev." she was close to tears herself , "remember me, I'm the one who understands." Hesitantly she leaned into him again, kissing him gently, barely touching his lips with her own. His tears began to flow as he embraced her, returning her kiss with a bit more passion as he pressed her closer to him.
Cat was taken by surprise, she didn't expect this right now, but still, there was something about Severus that never failed to move her. And as much as she hated to admit it, he really knew how to kiss her, he had one of those curl your toes, make you weak in the knees ways of kissing. The only other man that could do that to her was Sirius Black, and he wasn't even an option, probably married with a huge family by now. But Severus was certainly here, and still available, and as always, very intense.
Severus began to move his hand up her back to her neck, cradling the back of her head; wrapping his arms around her tightly, bending her back slightly as he opened his mouth to deepen the kiss. He could feel her melt in his arms as she sighed softly.
Cat placed her arms around Severus's shoulders, pulling herself even closer to him. She could feel his heart beating in his chest, as he brought his hands to rest on the curve of her hips. He pulled his mouth away for a moment to look at her. Her eyes half closed, her lips were parted waiting for him, a sense of joy spread over Severus as he gently began kissing her again, almost playfully. Cat returned his kisses softly at first, then becoming more aggressive, as her lips wandered to his ear where she began to nibble slightly, as his grip began to tighten on her hips. Severus felt a longing that he thought was dead in him, he started to tremble as her lips moved to his neck. His breath was coming in pants as she seductively kiss him right above his collar, he could feel his desire growing with each moment. As she gently bit at his neck a moan escaped his lips, he closed his eyes and pulled her tightly against him, her head resting on his chest as he waited for the echo of his longings to fade away.
"I should go now" Severus stated, his voice raspy with desire, "I have to go now."
Cat looked at him with surprise, "Now?! Is something wrong?"
"No, nothing" he said breathlessly "but if I do not stop now, I never will,... and some things should never be rushed." he explained, kissing her tenderly as he released her from the embrace.