Chapter 26 1st Meeting
He stopped cold, he couldn't even complete his sentence. This had to be a dream, she couldn't be real, he was hallucinating, either that or she had a daughter that looked just like her. Sirius just couldn't believe his eyes, he was still staring at her, mouth hanging open. Even Severus stopped arguing to turn around and see what had caused Black to react in such a way. There standing behind Snape was their old friend Cat MacLeod, Severus of course had known she was here, but this was completely new information to Sirius.
MacLeod stood there, looking at the three of them, a huge smile on her face. "Well, well the two of you STILL arguing, see not much has changed in the past decade or two. Huh." she said as she walked past them shaking her head. She couldn't believe it, Sirius Black, after all these years, her heart was already skipping a few beats. She paused to look in his eyes as she passed him. stop thinking about him Cat, he's got to be married by now, probably has a houseful of kids as well, just keep walking and don't stop Remus noticed her going very pale and then blushing as she walked past him.
Sirius was silent as their eyes connected, he watched as she walked past them and up the stairs to the divination classroom. Cat, Cat MacLeod he had almost forgotten how beautiful she was, and those eyes, they always made him feel all warm and gooey inside, like he was melting away. "What is she doing here, why didn't anyone tell me?" Sirius asked angrily, his eyes flashing as he looked between Remus and Snape. His heart had nearly stopped when he saw her, his Cat, his sweet, caring, loving Cat.
"And exactly why would anyone tell you. As I recall, you two parted on less that friendly terms." sneered Snape as he walked away in disgust, his cloak billowing after him.
Sirius just stood there, he could feel all the old feelings coming back, the happiness and the pain, he wanted to go after her but he couldn't even speak at the moment, let alone move. Why this, why now.....why her. He remembered back to the first time he saw her. When she walked into DADA class, he and Remus were spellbound even then, and it only got worse. He had forgotten how much he had loved her. Sirius had to close his eyes as a flood of emotions hit him, the joy he felt when they were together, how safe and sure they had felt in each others arms, the simple kindness that was part of her, gods he missed her….
Cat practically ran into her office, she couldn't tell if she was going to pass out, or if she just needed to do a few back flips. She sat down, still stunned, Sirius Black. It never even crossed her mind that he would actually show up here at school. Even when Albus mentioned his name the other day, it had been nothing but a memory to her, had she known then that she would see him again..... "Breathe Cat, Breathe" she needed to hear a voice, even if it was her own, "Stop. You're being stupid, think about this, its been years. You know full well he's got to be married by now, with children, hell he probably has a dog to. Don't do anything stupid. Just stay up here, and next time you see Remus,...beat him senseless for not telling you" she was yelling to herself, gods she felt like an idiot.....Idiot....Severus..."Oh sweet heaven above, I let the two of them down there alone, what was I thinking" Cat jumped up an ran to the door of her classroom, she opened it slightly and listened. Quiet, ok that means one of two things, either they both left, or one of them is lying dead.
Cat quietly walked down the steps from her classroom, afraid of what she might see. Luckily Hermione was still there giving strange looks to Sirius and Remus, Severus must have left. Remus looked terribly upset, and Sirius, what happened to him, he looked like he was wasting away. He still looked like her Sirius, but he was so thin, and his face seemed drawn and haunted. It hurt Cat to see him like this, she always remembered him as the muscular, dark haired hero, with the beautiful grey-blue eyes….
Remus was the first to see Cat, she was so still, he thought it might have been his imagination. It broke his heart to see the way she was looking at Sirius, he thought her heart might be breaking all over again. This is not the way it was supposed to go, curse Snape, why couldn't he just do the honourable thing and step away. As for Sirius he looked every bit as broken as she did, in fact he looked positively haunted. Remus could see the tears welling in Sirius's eyes, he wasn't talking, and that was never a good sign.
"Sirius, say something, please" Remus said gently, he was afraid this may have been to much for Sirius.
"Why,....Why didn't you tell me Remus. What were you thinking" Sirius was barely whispering.
Remus looked over at Cat and saw her closed her eyes, apparently her hearing was as good as ever. "It was supposed to be a surprise, it wasn't meant to be like this, Cat had no idea you were here either." Remus tried to explain "It was my fault, I wanted you two to see each other. That's why I wanted you to go to her classroom, I didn't want Snape to interfere."
"So she's still seeing him then." Sirius winced at the thought of it, he couldn't stand the idea of Snape touching her, he closed his eyes again as the tears began to fall down his cheeks.
"She only just returned to us Sirius, not more than two months ago, she wasn't even here for the start of term." Remus explained softly "She has no idea of what's happened." he didn't want Cat to hear any of this.
Remus looked back over to Cat, she was biting her lip trying to stop herself from crying. "Sirius, do you want to talk to her?" he asked hesitantly "Or do you want it to end, now?"
"What makes you think she'd even want to talk to me?" Sirius replied achingly. "After everything that's happened."
"The fact that she's standing behind you is a pretty good hint." Remus said softly as he looked towards Cat "Its your choice my friend, I can't decide for you, but remember Sirius, I can see her eyes from here, and right now, they look remarkably like yours."
Sirius turned around and saw Cat standing on the steps, looking at him with her beautiful green eyes, she looked like she was about to cry. And she was biting her lip, he had forgotten about that, she wanted to say something, she always did when she bit her lip like that, just a little on the left side. She looked just like she did all those years ago, even down to the little curls around the nape of her neck, he remembered how he used to tease her about those, used to pull them and say 'boing'. He had no idea what to say to her, all he wanted to do was grab her in his arms and hug her for the next week. He wanted to bury his face in her hair and listen to her giggle again.
Sirius tried opening his mouth to talk a few times, but nothing came out except his tears. All he could think to do was reach for her. Slowly he extended his arm, with his palm up, hoping she would forgive him for every thoughtless thing he had done to her........
Cat looked at him, she felt numb, Sirius, her Sirius. What had happened to him. His eyes were so haunted, he looked like a ghost. But it was him, the first man she had ever loved, and he held a special place in her heart, no matter what. She watched as he reached his arm towards her. She wanted so much to run into his arms, to nuzzle against him like she used to, but she knew she couldn't, not anymore. They weren't kids now, they were adults, and she swore after what he had done to her, she would NEVER be the 'other woman'. She would never let anyone use her to hurt someone the way she had been hurt. Amazing, she hadn't seen him but ten minutes ago, and already her heart was in pieces.
As much as she knew she should turn and leave, she couldn't. The look on his face mirrored the shape of her heart. Slowly she walked towards him, her tears began to fall as she touched his hand. He was trembling, he reached to touch her face with his fingers, as if he couldn't believe she was real.....
Sirius couldn't believe it, she was actually walking towards him, and she was crying too. He couldn't stop himself from shaking as she took his hand. He held her hand tightly as he looked at her, he still could not believe she was here. Gently he reached to touch her cheek, he felt the familiar tingle of electricity, she was so warm, so soft. "Oh Cat" he was sobbing now as he grabbed her in an embrace. He could feel her wrap her arms around him as she laid her head on his chest........
Severus could have kicked himself, what was he thinking, walking away, leaving Lupin and Black there. He should have made them leave, there was nothing to stop them from going to her classroom and doing who knows what. He was almost running, he had to get to her before Black ruined everything, again. There was absolutely no way he was going to allow Catri to slip through his fingers, not this time. He had waited far too long to see her again, too long to tell her how he truly felt about her. Black had his chance, and he squandered it over some cheap fling, his loss. Severus slowed down to a respectable gait as he neared the divination hallway.
Severus' heart almost hit the floor as he saw Black holding Cat, as Remus smiled at them. Even Potter's little friend was here to witness this mockery. Well, time to put an end to this before it even started, he knew how deep Catri's pain had run, he was the one who comforted her. He was the one she talked to, not Potter, not Lupin, him, and he was not about to see history repeat itself.
Clearing his throat loudly Severus said "Miss MacLeod, I believe we have plans" he was gratified by the response his voice had on her. She had always loved to hear him speak, she had said so on several occasions, she had even convinced him to read aloud to her once or twice.......
Cat's head almost jerked up when she heard Severus' voice, she had forgotten about him for a moment. Gently she pushed herself away from Sirius' embraced, wiping her tears as he let his arms drop. Dear Severus, he must have known she needed rescuing, again. She could hardly bare the look in Sirius's eyes, but she couldn't go through that kind of pain again. "Yes Severus, you're right, we do."
Looking up one last time at Sirius, her heart melted, he looked so lost, but she had made her decision long ago. Never the other woman, never, not even for him. Just before she walked away Cat reached up and touched Sirius's cheek and said softly "What's wrong with that wife of yours Sirius, isn't she feeding you, you're skin and bones" she gave him one last sad smile as she walked towards Severus.
Severus was standing there waiting for her, he should have been angry with her as well, but all he could see was her tears. She had not expected this, and it had hurt her, that was quite obvious. Black and his friends had made her the victim again, for 2 knuts Severus would curse them both. Still he had to admire her composure, the tears were streaming down her cheeks, but you would never know it if you couldn't see her face. She was walking easily, her head held high and her shoulders back, only her breathing gave her away. "Catri are you alright?" he asked her gently as he took her hand.
Cat nodded at him, trying to smile "Fine" she meant for it to sound more convincing than that.
Severus let out a deep sigh as he wiped away some of her tears. He could kill the two of them right now, how could they possibly put her through this. He wanted to hold her and tell her everything would be fine, but he knew her well enough to know she would break down then and there, and he did not want Black to see that. "We should leave now," he said softly "is there anywhere in particular you would like to go."
Cat looked up at Severus and shook her head "I don't care, I just need to get away from here" she could still feel her tears, they were stinging her face now. She just wanted it to stop, she hated feeling weak and confused. She could tell Severus understood, he always did, he had always been there for her. She smiled at him as he handed her his handkerchief, "No fooling you huh?"
Severus smiled back at her, "You never were very good at disguising your feelings, Catri. Not from me at least" he winked at her as he finished, he was relieve to see her smiling, even if it was not from her heart. He put his arm around her shoulder as they started walking.
"Its not fair that you always have to pick up the pieces Severus," Cat told him sincerely "You deserve better than that." she leaned her head against him as they continued walking
"If it were not for your pain, I would say I enjoyed it." Severus told her gently as he kissed her lovingly on the crown of her head. Totally ignoring the forlorn groan behind him, he guided Cat away from Sirius and Remus before anything else could happen.........
Sirius was beside himself, Snape, he had to show up just then, leave it to that git to ruin everything. Cat still loved him, he was almost completely sure of it. She didn't have to come back down from her room, she didn't have to stay there, or come over to him. She certainly didn't have to return his embrace, but she did, she even put her head on his chest like she used to. 'Listening to the song of his heart' that's what she used to say. He looked over at Snape and Cat, his anger welling in him. I should be the one wiping away her tears, holding her hand, not him. God in heaven, did she still think Snape was her friend, didn't she realize how much of this had been his fault. If Snape hadn't interfered back then, he and Cat would have worked it out, they always did, they just could never stay angry at each other.
Sirius almost ran at Snape when he saw him put his arm around Cat, but his anger quickly turned to pain when he saw her lean against him, letting him kiss her. Sirius didn't care if it was only on her hair, that nancy crap didn't fool him, he knew exactly what Snape wanted. Sirius probably would have made good on his threat to beat him to death right then and there if Remus hadn't come up and put his hand on his shoulder. Greasy vulture, why couldn't he just stay away from her, it was like this all through school.....
Remus had become concerned when Snape had shown up, he was afraid that would happen, but he really didn't expect Cat to go to him. Her eyes always gave her away, she still loved Sirius, it was obvious to him, probably to Snape as well. If only they had another fifteen minutes together. As it was Sirius was somewhere between having a breakdown and committing murder. "Calm down Sirius, attacking him won't help anything." Remus said to his friend reassuringly "You know how he feels about her, just like school, nothings changed, you are still the one she loves."
Sirius turned to his friend, a painful mixture of anger and grief "And how do you know that Remus, did 'she' tell you" he was crying again "or are you deluding yourself. Look at them, I don't remember seeing that in school."
"Don't let your imagination run away with you" Remus said sternly, he was a bit hurt by Sirius's outburst "you know she always considered him her friend, like me." Remus continued more gently "Sirius, think about it, how many times have you seen me put my arm around her? I've even kissed her on the cheek, several times, never bothered you. You know she loves you."
"I know she loved me. Past tense, I don't know about now, so much has happened." Sirius could feel the despair sinking in "There is so much I should have done differently. Remus, what am I going to do? I still love her."
Remus didn't know how to answer him, yet. But he knew Cat, probably better than she knew herself sometimes. She still loved Sirius....if only he could get Harry to help him with this. Cat was completely taken by Lily's little boy, acted like he was her own, if Harry would put in a few good words, maybe 'accidentally' bump in to Cat while he was with Sirius or vice a versa. A plan was forming, just give him a little time. "Sirius I have one question for you. What did she say to you as she left, I couldn't hear her?"
"What?.. Oh something about my wife not feeding me, I'm skin and bones" he gave Remus a half-hearted smile as he held out his robes. She was right, he was too skinny, but considering what he had lived through in the past 14 years, he really didn't think he looked that bad. Sirius looked at Remus and wondered what the hell was so funny "Remus, something you'd like to share....I could use a good laugh right now." he said sarcastically
"Gheez louise Padfoot, how thick is that head of yours, didn't you hear what you just said?" Remus could have done a back flip right there.
"Yeah, I said she thought my wife wasn't feeding me......." Suddenly it dawned on him "Wait, since when do I have a wife" he couldn't believe he missed it, he had been so overwhelmed with everything happening, he just never realized what she said.
A huge smile crossed both of their faces, that's why she had left like that. After all it was only natural to assume he would be married by now. "Remus, she thinks I'm married, doesn't she?" Sirius asked his smile growing wider by the second.
"Why yes Mr. Black, I do believe she does." Remus was smiling almost as widely, then suddenly his face dropped. ,"Sirius, if she thinks your married, do you know what that means?"
"Sure, it means I'm getting her back. I don't care what I have to do. I knew she was the one the first time I met her, and I still believe that. We're going to get married and have the family we always talked about." Sirius's heart was soaring, he finally had a dream again, wait until he told Harry, they were going to be a real family.
"No, Sirius. Stop. Think for a moment." Remus wasn't sure if he should laugh or cry now "If she thinks you're married, that means nobody has told her about Azkaban. I was sure Snape would tell her first chance he got." Remus couldn't figure out why Snape hadn't told her, it would have been a golden opportunity for him to finally discredit the man Cat held so dear. Maybe he had misjudged him. Remus just didn't know what to make of Snape sometimes; when it came to Cat or Lily, there was nothing he wouldn't do for them. Even to the point of alienating his own house, not that that was a bad thing sometimes. And Cat always trusted him, even Lily refused to go along with any nasty pranks against him.
Remus remembered back to their school days, Snape had been the very first student Cat had met, but she met Lucius Malfoy only a few minutes later, and she positively loathed the man. Even in class, she would sit with Snape when he needed a partner, leaving he and Sirius to manage on their own. She was always defending him, especially after the weekend she spent at his home. Remus still couldn't believe Dumbledore had allowed that, but he said that it was important that Cat learned as much about their culture as she could. Well after that at least once a month she was at someone's house, learning all sorts of things, James used to have a fit when she came back. The language that girl picked up was....amazing, to say the least. But the Sunday night she came back from Snape's house, she wouldn't even talk, just went straight up to the dorm. Lily had to go to get her, and they were up there for almost 2 hours before James finally went to find out what had happened. They would never tell him, or any of them anything about it. Of course we all thought the worse, especially Sirius, they hadn't even started dating yet. But what could Lily and Cat know about Snape to make them feel so kindly towards Snape. It wasn't like Cat or Lily to trust people without reason.
"Remus, Earth to Remus.....would you please answer me!" Sirius was waving his hand in front of Remus's face trying to get his attention.
"I'm sorry Sirius, I was thinking about something, what did you say?" Remus snapped back to the present.
"I said is that a good thing or not? Her not knowing about Azkaban." Sirius asked expectantly.
"I don't know my friend. But I'll tell you this much, somebody had better tell her, before she finds out the wrong way." Remus put his arm around Sirius's shoulder as they walked off to talk things over. Meanwhile Hermione was amazed by what she had seen. The fact that they had completely forgotten and ignored her wasn't making her happy, but Sirius and Cat, in love, married and having children. She knew Harry would want to hear about this, maybe it would help get him out of those mood swings he seemed to be having lately.....