Project: Trinity
Chapter Thirteen, the last:
Death is Bliss
What we want in life
Is not always what we want in death.
-Anon
Leon's breathing was quickening, growing shallow and more strained as he struggled to hold on to what consciousness he still had. His vision was receding, returning, and receding again, while some things were just constant blurs. He knew what was happening. Quickly he grasped Aerith's hand, his face twisted with inner pain.
"I guess...this is our last time together," he said weakly, holding her slim fingers inside his own rough hand. "I want you to know...it was...one of the best times in my life, being able to be with you, Yuffie, and Cid...wandering around Traverse Town, protecting the world the way we thought we could." He smiled faintly, despite the agony of moving his facial muscles. "You guys have replaced the family I've always wanted. And...in some small measure, I hope I replaced the friends you've lost."
"Leon..." she wept, forcing the tears from falling, forcing herself to be able to look into his eyes and resist from breaking down. She had caused all of this. Everything. Even if it was Cloud who hurt Leon, he had done it for her...Even if Sephiroth had planned everything, she was the one who made it possible... It all came back to her... "Leon, don't go. Please, I'll find a way to save you!" Desperately she held his cold hand up to her cheek, focusing miserably on the light that had once come so fluidly, so easily. But there was no light; it had disappeared when Sephiroth disappeared. Everything was dark and miserable, just like her. Just like her.
Yuffie and Cid, groggy with fatigue from the spell that had been woven on them by Sephiroth, came to stand wide-eyed and silent behind her, each crying a tearful farewell. It seemed surreal. It couldn't be happening.
A few steps away stood Cloud as well, his face a mask of expressions. But she didn't care anymore about Cloud. Not yet. Not while there was Leon, dying in her arms, his life slowly but surely slipping through her fingertips like rainwater. All because of her.
"I'll save you!" she screamed, on the verge of hysteria, pulling inside at the magic that did not exist. What had once been given so freely, so beautifully, was extinguished. Her magic was gone. She would have felt better if her arm or leg was severed instead, so heavily did the loss weigh upon her. Her magic had caused everything, and now it was gone. The traitor!
He shook his head, a wobbling of the neck that seemed pathetic even to himself. No more energy...So close... "It's no good. You won't be able to save me. But it's alright." Softly he brushed her cascading tears away with his finger. "You've found what you've been looking for. Be happy," he whispered.
Instinctively Aerith twisted her head around, her gaze flying over to look at Cloud, standing just behind Cid. Just as quickly she turned back, shuddering uncontrollably. She could not bear to look at him now. She was miserable, so miserable... "You can't leave me, Leon. You can't! I need you! We need you," she sobbed, clutching onto his hand as if she could somehow transfer life through her fingertips. She could, once. She had saved the world, once. She had been a sacrifice, no matter how unwilling she might have been--but now the tables were turned, and she couldn't face it. Never. "Please...I can't stand it if you're not here! Don't die...don't die because of me!" There, she said it, as much as she ever could.
He smiled weakly, trying to pull off a chuckle that didn't quite make it. "I'm not," he said simply. "Everyone has to die sometime, Aerith. And don't worry...I'm not blaming you for anything, because..." He couldn't finish that sentence, not when Cloud was standing a few feet away, his blue eyes cloudy. "Because we're friends."
Friends? Was that all? Was she the only fool around here, to believe in something that could never exist? But who did she love...? Cloud or Leon? Why couldn't she think straight, and not delude herself? "What about our home? What about the Heartless and Hallow Bastion and...Rinoa? What happened to your promises, Leon?!" she yelled, forcing the name out of her mouth like poison. "Are you going to let everything rot?"
"No..." he coughed out, blood trailing down his jacket in red streaks, "I...leave them to you. Help me, this one last time...help me do what I couldn't...and move on."
"You...you bastard!" she screamed, flinging his hand down. "You stupid idiot! Why are you so stubborn? Can't you even fight for your own life?!" Her words from before came back to haunt her. She was denying it; she was denying everything. She didn't want to know, didn't want to move on. She wanted him to live.
With his last breath, Leon's lips twitched into a faint smile. His voice was quiet and raspy, the voice of a man who was resigned to his fate. "No, because...I fought for yours." Dazed, Aerith watched his eyes close forever, his hand slipping down to the ground with a soft thud. She waited for his hand to move, to show some sign of life, and the minutes ticked by. Yuffie stifled a broken sob, and Cid just turned away, shaking his head.
"You...you..." Aerith stammered, her eyes wide but unfocused as the tears slipped down to splatter on her dress. He was....dead? No, no, surely it was a trick. It had to be. Aerith reached over, shaking him gently, a hesitant smile on her face. "Leon? Wake up, please. I'm sorry; I didn't mean what I said. Okay? Wake up. Wake up!" she pleaded, digging her nails into his jacket. No response. A trick. It had to be... "LEON!!!" she screamed, desperately pounding on his chest with her fists. "LEON, NO!!!"
A hand was placed firmly on her shoulder, and she spun around, knowing that, somehow, it was Leon. It had to be... "Aerith," a voice said, hazy-sounding to her ears, "let go. It's...no more use. Leon's dead."
"Eh?" she answered stupidly, her head still swimming. "What are you talking about? You're right here." Satisfied, she wrapped her arms around his neck, a little bewildered when there was a lack of hair in the back. Didn't Leon have long hair? Oh, well. It didn't matter. Leon was alive; that was all she cared about. "I'm so glad you're not dead," she said, giggling a little. "You shouldn't trick me like that, Leon."
"..." Silently Cloud looked at her as she hugged him, emotionless. He had gotten good at not showing emotions. Aerith still believed Leon was alive; she thought he was Leon. What had happened these last nine years? What had happened to make the gap so yawning wide? What had happened when he wasn't there...?
"Aerith," Yuffie cried out from behind, her eyes overflowing with tears. It was too much. Poor Leon, poor Aerith...and poor Cloud. "Aerith, don't be like this...I know it's hard, but...Don't pretend."
"Pretend?" Aerith tilted her head to the right, an insane grin on her face. "What are you talking about? Leon's alive. Can't you see?" She turned back to Cloud, a glassy look in her eyes. "Right? Tell them, Leon."
"Aerith, stop," he commanded forcefully, grabbing her by the shoulders and shaking her roughly. "You're the one that needs to wake up. Yuffie's right; you have to stop pretending. I'm Cloud, not Leon. Leon is dead."
Aerith clapped her hands together, laughing. "Oh, you guys shouldn't joke around like that! Leon can't be dead, he can't be..." Slap! Her head jerked violently to the left as Cloud slapped her, a twisted look of pain on his face. "You..." she cried, bringing a hand up to her red cheek.
"I'm not Leon. I'm Cloud. Wake up. Please," he begged, his hand shaking. He hadn't wanted to hit her. But he couldn't let her go on like this, with that crazy, haunted look on her face. After nine years...was this what he got? Nine years of torture, and at the end of the rainbow was this...?
"Leon...Leon is dead..." she whispered, the terrible truth finally dawning on her, sinking to her knees. Her hands balled up into fists, which she ground into her eyes sockets to stop the tears. "He's dead..." Aerith held up her hands, which were smeared with Leon's darkening crimson blood. She remembered that Leon had crimson wings painted onto the back of his jacket, remembered the day he had asked her to paint them. She looked behind her, where Leon's body was still on the ground, his eyes closed. "He's really gone." He's gone...He's really gone.
With an anguished scream she staggered to her feet and ran out of that hideous place, the place where all of her dreams had died so suddenly. Dreams with Leon, dreams with Cloud... Gone! All gone! She could hear the others shouting after her, could hear their footsteps as they ran to keep up with her, but the blood that was pounding in her eardrums was the only thing she paid attention to. "No, because...I fought for yours." His last words. "Oh, Leon," she cried, stumbling over the rocks that were in her way. There was an enormous lake that she had seen from the gummi ship; she needed to wash the blood off her hands, wash it all away. "All I wanted...I'm sorry! I'm so sorry..."
"I never got to say anything. But..." Aerith came to stop near the edge of the cliff, where the lake's crystal-blue waves broke against the rocks beneath. But... Some distance behind her, she could hear the others' voices, frantically yelling at her to stop. But...It's alright. She looked back, catching sight of Cloud's horror-stricken face, his lips opening to say the word No. One last enigmatic smile graced her lips as she threw herself in, the water immediately surrounding her with its cold, ethereal touch.
We'll see each other again, someday...
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[Ending notes: Ah, done in a true Final Fantasy manner: Hello, cliffhanger. (FFX grated on my nerves a little bit, with the pseudo-FFVIII ending; I suppose the producers just wanted a loose end to tie up in FFX-2. Poor excuse, in my opinion.). I'm sure those last words will haunt some people...and maybe it should... So ends Project: Trinity; any comments, tearful rantings, cold denials, death threats? Requests to continue? I've been juggling around some ideas so far, but I need to know if there's any interest. Don't want to do it if no one wants it!
I suggest all readers that I have lured into the Aerith/Leon fold to wander around the KH section, find some other good fics. Maybe read Astray, or Bhryn's Destroyed; give it try. You'd be surprised.
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And, a last thank-you and goodbye to all my reviewers; never got to thank any of you "up-close and personal," shall we say. So here we go!
-Trinculo/Slinkster Sunshine: Hey! What happened to Puppet March? I was really looking forward to a new chapter! Don't tell me you deleted it! Put it up, put it up! ...Please?
-Bek: Thanks for always being there! You were one of the few who reviewed a majority of my chapters.
-Mala- You, too! You're a cherished constant reviewer. Want some cookies? I got lots.
-Bhryn Astairre: Ah, my fellow Leon-Aerith fanfic author. Feel like we're kindred spirits. Wishing you the best luck in writing! May the Muses look kindly upon your future inspiration...
-Wild Rinoa: Good news! I've scrambled my thoughts together and finally came up with a new fanfic based on your...err....requests. God knows it's very AU, and semi-humorous, semi-dark. Sheesh. Wonder how well that combination works... Anyway, look for it around next week, under the title A Week in Devil's Paradise. Catchy name, no?
-Star Princess: A fanfic of your own, eh? Tell me when you finish it! I'll be your beta-tester!
-Dreamcatcher: Yes! Another Leon-Aerith devotee! I swear, I need to make up a contact list or something...
-TheyReallyLoveMe: Yup, I really love you. Strictly speaking from an author's point of view, of course. Thanks so much for all your comments; it really does give me a lift.
-Hikaru: (in a parody of Miwako from ParaKiss:) YEEK! YEEK!
-Galen: I know what you mean, and I'm really apologetic for making the story lean towards Leon in the end. But it's really all up to circumstances, and it just so happened that Aerith couldn't live without him. Too much guilt. (It's complicated.)
-Meiko: Fooled you! It's really Leon-Aerith, but with that kind of ending, it's pretty much inconclusive. Not satisfied, huh? I can tell.
-Hustler One: 216th reviewer? Maybe I can make an exception...but give me idea of what you want, and I'll think about it.
-Minerva, Mimi Blossoms Aeris 15, and Fallen Shadow: Thanks a bunch! You have no idea how much your thoughts matter to me. Happy reading for as long as you may browse FF.net!
-Monica: What? Me? An evil mistress of cliffhangers? (laughs in reality) Well, I guess I should be flattered.
-Nokania: Agreed. No more need be said.
-The people that place me under their "favorite authors" list: Thanks, hugs, and kisses! Don't think I don't know... I'm quite vain, if I do say so myself. Or my friends will say that for me... -_-;
-And last, but definitely not least, Crescendo Ash: HA! Did I spite you enough? Eh? Oh, but don't get mad; Astray will probably end up much safer and much less melodramatic. But what's wrong with good ol' angst? You'll end up using it sometime or another, mark my words. Two words, buddy: Soft Braid. :F