Chapter Six; Talk and Dreams.
"Is something wrong Daine?" Alanna pushed her way through the undergrowth until she came to the place where the girl sat, absentmindedly stroking the head of a fox. The animal growled at the Lady Knight and tensed slightly.
"Hush." Daine chided. "She's one of my friends."
'She smells of claw winged horses,' He said, although he did relax a bit and stopped glaring at her 'And blood.'
Daine looked up, and true enough, Alanna bore a small wound across her cheek, and another on her shoulder.
The older woman noticed her sharp eyes traversing her body and laughed.
"I'm fine, one of the Hurroks caught me as it flew past, but Hakim killed it."
She looked around the grove where she stood, and breathed in the fresh air, free from the stagnant fumes of human dwellings. It was summertime and fruits were growing on the tree above her head. She reached up to one of the laden branches and felt among the apples hanging there for two that were ripe.
She found a couple and threw one to Daine, who bit into it, enjoying it's sour flavour, although it made her screw her face up slightly. The fox let out a sharp bark and Alanna plucked another from the bough and threw it at him. Neatly, he jumped straight up in the air and caught it.
Daine laughed as, after one bite, he knocked it away and ran over to the nearby stream to rinse the taste from his mouth.
"It can't have been that bad." Alanna called after the creature, amused. She too took a bite and winced. "On second thoughts, I agree with your small friend." She too moved over to the stream and pulled a horn from her belt to use as a cup. She brought the water back over to where Daine was sitting, and, waving her hand over the water to check it was pure, took a deep draught before offering it to the girl.
"Daine, what is wrong? I've known you long enough to see that you're disturbed. What is it that is making you fret so?"
"I don't know exactly." Daine sighed and stared at her feet. "I just keep thinking about home, my old home," She amended, "Back in Galla."
"Snowsdale was it?" Alanna asked, at Daine's nod she said softly. "That's perfectly natural to think about your home. Your mother died not that long ago and it is normal to think about it."
"But I never thought about it this much before."
"Well." Alanna leant back on her hands, stretching her legs out before her. "It hurts most at the beginning, right after the event. Then, gradually, the pain begins to leave a bit at a time and you can think about it with out feeling so bad."
"But I don't want to forget!" She burst out, "If I forget how they died, then I forget my Ma and Grandda."
"You'll never forget them." Alanna said firmly, "But it is only human nature to block out hurtful memories. It'll leave your other memories of them intact, I assure you." She glanced over at Daine's tense face. "I felt the same after the Shang Dragon, Liam Ironarm died, and my brother Thom died.
"I felt that if I couldn't remember in clear detail how each of them died then I would be offending their memories, so I put myself through pain every so often, when the memory began to grow dim, and I would force myself to relive that memory, although it caused my great pain.
"I wasn't actually there when Liam died, so I had to get Jon to help me, and George of course, I made them relieve it as well, although it made Jon feel guilty, because Liam took the arrows meant for him." She sighed. "And then I realised that I was hurting more people I cared about by doing that. I was hurting myself and my friends, and neither Liam nor Thom would have wanted that. So I let them go. It took a while, but I can think back on the good times now, without the sting of guilt that accompanied them before."
"Were you and the Dragon close though?" Daine asked.
"Yes, we were. We had been… lovers." Alanna said, blushing slightly, "but we were just friends when he died."
"So why…" Daine stopped.
"Why what?" Alanna prompted
"Why do I want to go back there?"
Alanna shrugged.
"I can't tell you that. Maybe you should find the answers in yourself."
The pair sat in silence for a while until Alanna spoke again,
"Are you coming with us on Training? The trainees leave in a month or so."
"Where are they training this time? The Swoop?"
"Gods no, we're still recovering from the last time. Port Caynn I think. You'll have to ask Thayet or Buri."
"I will." As the knight got up to leave Daine to her thoughts she caught her calloused palm. "Thank you Alanna."
The smile cast down upon her was gentle.
"Any time youngling, anytime."
Daine slipped into her bed roll later that night, after sitting by the stream until the midnight bell was sounded. One of the guards noticed her as she slipped into camp, but he recognised her and nodded her through.
Her friend the fox followed her and settled down on her feet as she lay under a large tree, occasionally catching a glimpse of the stars through the thick leaves.
Eventually she fell asleep, and then she dreamed.
The wind whipped through the house, a golden haired woman, stood at the stove shivering and stirring a pot.
"Verilidaine! You get yourself down them stairs this second!"
A young girl came tumbling down the stairs, followed by two huge dogs.
"Yes Ma?" Her brown curls were in disarray under her headscarf and the dogs' fur was ruffled up.
"You been playing with them again? Daine, I've told you you're getting too old for that. You're twelve now, need to be thinking of other things."
Daine pulled a face, she knew what was coming next, and mouthed along as her mother spoke.
"You've got to be respectable, not like me, otherwise none'll have you."
"O'course Ma."
Her mother sighed, Daine was so much like her at that age, if more headstrong.
"Go stop your Grandda going up that ladder will you love?"
"He's up there again?" Daine ran towards the door, worried for the old man. "I told 'im I'd druther do it than for him to go topplin' down that ladder."
She took an armful of hay from the stack by the door and ran into the wind,
"Grandda! You get down from there right now!"
The old man looked down and smiled as he saw his granddaughter standing there, her hands on her hip. "You come down, or I'll send the falcons up after you. You know I'll do it!"
"Aye that I do." He came down the ladder cautiously. When his feet were firmly on the ground Daine began her tirade.
"You could've fallen."
He looked confused.
"What're you talking about gal?" He stepped away from her "I did fall. And you didn't catch me."
"Grandda?" Daine took a step towards him but he jumped away from her, his face twisted in a grimace of loathing.
"Keep away from me bastard! Ruined my Sarra's life you did,"
"Eh, he's right about that." Daine whirled to see her ma standing behind her.
"Ma? What d'you mean?"
"Well, if it weren't for you I could've been married by now, and happy. Instead I got saddled with you." Sarra wiped her wet hands on a dishcloth.
With a sob Daine sprang away from the two of them, but tripped over pitchfork and fell on her back. Groaning as she hit the ground she rolled onto her back, only to have excruciating pain roar through her as something sharp went into her stomach.
Daine choked as she felt the pitchfork pin her into the ground. Then it was pulled out and her Grandda handed the bloodied tool over to her Ma.
"Your turn my dear."
Daine screamed as it sank into her again. Then all went red and black.
And she awoke.