Chapter 9-Holding On
Elliot pulled into the parking lot of the hospital. He turned the car off and looked at the woman sitting next to him. She was white.
"Seajae?"
"I can't. I can't go in there and act like nothing happened."
"Then don't." Elliot took her hand. "You never lied to your husband about anything. Don't start now. Nothing happened. He didn't hurt you. Your safe and sound that's all that matters."
"He'll know......just knowing what might of happened."
"Nothing happened Seajae. I got there in time. Nothing happened." Elliot didn't know how to put it any other way. She was trembling. "Let's go see him. You'll feel better. I promise." He got out of the car and went around to open her door. "You can do this Seaj." He offered her his hand. She looked at him.
"Thank you." She took his hand and let him help her up. "For everything Elliot. Not just for tonight. You've always been there for me and shown me the way." She hugged him.
"Anytime Sunshine. I'm kinda tired of saving your ass though." He laughed and pushed her away. "Let's go see your husband." He lead her into the hospital. The elevator was empty as they headed for the third floor.
"Where is everyone?"
"You mean your friends and family?"
"Yeah."
"They're coming. They wanted you to get her before Bosco hurt himself or someone else." The elevator door opened and Faith was waiting for them. Seajae started to cry again. Stepping out of the elevator Faith hugged her. She looked at Elliot. "She's scared. That's all. We got him before he could hurt her." Consoling her friend she Faith lead Seajae to the waiting room down the hall.
"It's ok Seajae. Everything will be fine." Elliot sat next to them.
"You need to get your head looked at." He had just noticed the sticky blood on the back of her head. She nodded as the tears fell. No one had seen Seajae this scared. Elliot got up and went to the nurses station to see if Cooper or Ken were around to look at her head.
"Seajae what happened?" Faith asked hoping talking about it would lighten whatever was making her feel this way.
"He snuck up behind me. Threw me into his car. I couldn't move. It was like I forgot everything I ever learned. I.....I couldn't think. Then the phone rang and...it was Maddie and she wanted to talk to him and I jumped out of the car and ran. Everything hurt but I ran......there was a RMP and......I woke up and he was standing over me." Elliot went and got Cooper as Seajae started to hyperventalate.
"It's okay......Elliot was there and it's over." Faith held her friends shaking body. Cooper and Elliot came down the hall. "She's going to be fine just give her a minute to calm down." Seajae was breathing faster.
"Seajae...take some deep breaths." Cooper came and kneeled down in front of her. "Seajae calm down." She was turning a ashen shade as Cooper put her head between her legs. "Get me a gurney." He checked her paulse. "Seajae please you need to calm down." Two ordilies came with a gurney. Cooper and Elliot helped Seajae on it. "Ten of advan. We need to get her calmed down." She was cluching his arm. "Seajae deep breaths. Come on." The nurse broght a sirninge to Cooper. "Seajae I'm going to give you something to calm you down."
"No.....No......."
"Sweety you need to breath." Faith held her hand and stroked her hair. "Cooper just wants to help."
"No drugs....no."
"Seajae your heart rate is off the charts. You need to calm down." But the fear became worse. She clung to Faith's hand. Cooper took her other arm and injected the medication into her arm. It took a minute but soon she was calm and almost asleep. "I'm going to check her head and get her a bed."
"One in the same room as Bosco I would hope." Faith looked at Cooper.
"You know it." The elevator opened. Maddie followed by Swertzsky and Doyle came out.
"What the hell happened?" Dan looked at Faith. Faith looked at Cooper.
"She had a panic attack....I think." Cooper looked at the the back of Seajae's head. "I'm sure she's got a concusion." He knodded to the ordilies and they took her and headed toward Bosco's room. "One of you want to tell him or do you want me to." No one volenteered. Maddie stepped forward.
"You all owe me one." She walked down to Bosco's room and took a deep breath before she stepped inside.
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"Boscorelli....."
"Maddie? Hey....." He sat up. She went to him and hugged him. "You look good."
"For a dead woman?"
"For any woman." He smiled. "We missed you Maddie."
"I missed you guys too." She sat on the chair next to him. "Seajae and Elliot......they got Tommy." Even after almost ten years Bosco could still sence a but in her voice.
"Is she?"
"Just a concusion." She went and opened the door. The ordilies brought Seajae's bed in.
"Just a concusion?" Cooper came in behind her.
"I gave her something.....she had an panic attack in the hall."
"My wife.....a panic attack?" Faith and Elliot came in. "You don't know my wife doc. She would never have a panic attack." Faith bit her lip.
"You guys want to give us a minute....." Everyone but Elliot left the room. Faith went and sat next to the bed. "Bosco.....Elliot....he got to her in time. But Seajae.....Tommy was about to....." Bosco rubbed his face and ran his hand though his hair.
"You don't have to tell me." He looked over at his wife. She looked so peaceful. "You did what you said you would." Bosco wanted to go to her and hold her. Seajae was the strong one. She held it all together when things got rough. Things were as rough as they ever had been. He couldn't walk and she was going though something she had never been though before.
"I could of been sooner."
"You got there in time." Bosco sat up. "Could you help me?" Elliot and Faith helped him sit and he put his legs over the edge, then lifted him to the wheel chair that had been sitting in the corner. Elliot wheeled him over to Seajae's side. "Thanks." He took her hand in his and kissed the top of it. "Could you....?"
"Yeah sure buddy." Faith and Elliot headed to the door. "If you need us......."
"Yeah. Thanks." They left them alone and Bosco held her hand tighter. "I'm here Sunshine." He brushed the hair from her face. "You did good honey. You got him." Bosco let a tear fall down his cheek. "I need you now more then I ever did before." He thought of the things that brought them to this place. 9/11, Mueler, her breakdown,the kids kidnapping, his memory loss, the avalanch, her kidnapping. They thrived on pressure. On stress. They would make it though this too. "I love you Seajae. Please don't let this be the way things end for us."
"She wouldn't give you the satisfaction." Jackson McCall stood in the door way. He closed the door. "She loves you too much to let something like this stand in your way." Bosco looked at his wife's uncle.
"I know. I just can't stand seeing her this way."
"It's a bump on the head." He walked behind Bosco. "It'll heal."
"I didn't know you were in town."
"I just got in." He walked around and pulled up a chair. "I came to see how things were going in the Big Apple."
"Same shit, different day." He didn't want to talk to anyone now. Not even Jackson.
"I just wanted to see how you were doing."
"How does it look like I'm doing?" Jackson looked from his niece to her husband.
"The same as always. Keeping eachother together." Getting up he went to the window. "You know you two have something all of us wish we had. A support system that goes way beyond your family and friends." Jackson turned back to Bosco. "Whatever happens.....it will all be ok." He walked to the door. "I'm going to see my grand nieces and nephew. You hold down the fort here." Bosco looked back down at his wife.
"Sometimes I wonder about that man Seaj." Bosco smoothed his wife's hair. He didn't want to think of what might happen if he never walked agin. Would she leave him? He knew she wouldn't. But he didn't want to hold her down. Closing his eyes Bosco prayed that like everything else in his life this would work out.
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The waiting room of the third floor of Angle of Mercy Hospital looked like it always did when one or more of New Yorks finest was hurt. But this time they knew everyone was going to be fine. They knew Bosco and Seajae would be coming home. They now looked to Ken Miller and Cooper Sinclair to find out what they did next.
"So is Bosco going to walk again or not Doc?" Sully looked at Ken.
"There's no reason why he shouldn't but then again.....Bosco is as stuburn as any five men I know." Ken looked at Cooper. "We can't see any reason why he isn't walking." Jimmy looked around waiting for someone else to say what he was thinking but no one dared. He stood up.
"Your saying it's all in Bosco's head?"
"I'm saying there's no medical reason why he can't walk."
"So is physcoligical?" Kim looked at Ken.
"Do you want to recomend a physciatrist?" Ken looked at his friends. "I think we should just go on like we have been. I'll recomend physical therepy and we'll go from there. Sooner or later whatever's stopping Bosco from walking will clear itself up."
"You hope." Sully said as he stood up. "How long do we wait?"
"Only time will tell. But I want to know...should I tell Seajae?"
"She'll blame herself." Ty answered.
"Should we be deciding this?" Faith ask Ken. "I mean isn't this something you should be discussing with them?"
"In any other case yes. But Faith you know as well as I do the Boscorelli's don't need another thing to worry about. If you all agree I think we should keep what we know to ourselves for a little while." Ken Miller looked at the room full of friends.
"I'm with Ken." Billy Walsh looked around the room. "We're all they have. It's up to us to protect them. Right?" He didn't wait for an answer. "Tell us what we have to do to make things easier."
"We'll Bosco will need a way to thier apartment. There's no way he'll let anyone help him there." They all turned to Bosco's brother. Mickey had helped in the remolding and knew the building inside and out.
"Not a problem. There's an old elevator shaft in the back of the building. I can have one installed in three days."
"That will cost a forturn." Sully looked at Mikey.
"I got it covered." He wasn't going to tell them just how good his business wwas doing but with Seajae and Bosco's name behind him he'd made enough the last couple of years. Whatever he needed was a phone call away. And with Jackson in town if that wasn't enough he had the McBride fortune to turn to.
"Then that's all that we need to worry about right now." Ken got up. "Im going to check on them and head home. If you need anything just give me a call." He nodded good byes and headed down the hall.
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Bosco watched as Ken Miller gave his wife the once over. She was in one piece. That was all that mattered. Cooper stood back. Bosco wondered about Maddie's husband. He seemed to know alot about them. About how things with them worked. How much did Ken tell him and how much had he learned on his own. He fought for Seajae just like Ken always had.
"I think she just had a reaction to the lack of sleep and the adrenilen." Ken looked at Bosco. "What about you. How are you feeling?"
"Like I flew a hundred feet and hit a brick wall."
"Well all I can say is it can only get better my friend." Ken got up. "I left orders with the nurse to leave you two alone unless you need something." He put the charts back in thier holders. "You have anything to add Cooper?"
"Thank you. For your dedication to getting Tommy off the street."
"That was my wife's doing."
"But all of you had a hand in it." Cooper pushed himself away from the wall. "I'm glad I was able to finally meet Maddie friends." He went to Bosco. "And you will walk Bosco if it's the last thing I do." He nodded at Ken and headed out the door.
"Just so you know his word is as good as yours." Ken headed for the door. "Please be nice to my nursing staff. The last time you were here I had three nurses and five candy stripers threaten to quit if I didn't release you." He left shutting the door behind him.
"Well baby it's just you and me." He looked over at his sleeping wife. "Sweet dreams baby." He closed his eyes and let sleep overtake him.
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Seajae dug though the fog and tried to open her eyes. She heard Bosco's voice sweet and soothing. He always knew what to say to her to make her feel safe. All she wanted was to go home and snuggle next to her husband in thier big king size bed. Tommy was gone. Locked up. He wouldn't hurt them any more. Slowly opening her eyes she looked to see where she was. The stark white room gave her a clue. Shaking off the sleepiness her head started to throb. Now she remembered. Tommy's friend in the RMP. He had hit her in the back of the head. Hard by the feel of it.
"Nice seeing you again Detective." There was a nurse checking her IV.
"Hey Bonnie." She tried to smile at the young nurse. "What time is it?"
"Two in the morning. I just gave Bosco something to sleep. He was getting a little adjetated that you weren't waking up. Dr. Sinclair gave me orders to drug him if he gave us a hard time."
"I knew I liked that man for a reason." Swolling hard she felt the room closing in on her. "Could you get me a phone."
"The kids are with Mike and Jackson. Work doesn't need you and your husband is right next to you. Faith said you'd try to get out of getting some rest. She said she'd try holding everything all together while you recover."
"I just.....I need to talk to someone."
"You need to rest." She took a needle out of her pocket.
"Give me ten minutes and you can drug me till next Tuesday." Bonnie gave her a look that was only ment to scare her but didn't quite make it. She handed Seajae the phone and stepped away from the bed.
"Ten minutes." She walked out of the room. Seajae dialed Elliot's number. She knew she shouldn't but she needed to know for sure Tommy was safe and sound in a cell.
"Stabler." A sleepy voice answerd after the forth ring.
"Just tell me he's downtown behind as many locked doors as he can be."
"Seajae?" Elliot sat up. "Do you know what time it is?"
"Yeah. Just tell me."
"Tommy Harrigan is at Rikers under twenty four hour watch. No one goes in or out of his cell without half the prision going on allert."
"Thank you for getting there before......"
"I promised I would. Now can I get back to sleep?"
"Tell Katey I'm sorry."
"Yeah I will."
"Talk to you soon."
"After the sun rises would be nice. Take care Sunshine." Elliot hung up and turned over to find his wife awake.
"I should be jelouse."
"She needed to know Harrigan was locked up."
"At two in the morning?"
"You didn't see her this afternoon Katey. She was shaking like a leaf. I've never seen her like that."
"I'm sorry. I know she's your friend but sometimes......"
"I know. She said the same thing. She's like my sister. Nothing more, nothing less."
"I know. Seajae needs family as much as she needs friends." Katey kissed him. "But I need a husband."
"MMMM. Let me see if I can find his somewhere." He smiled and kissed his wife. "I love you Katey."
"I love you too Elliot."
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"You can't just leave." Cooper looked at Seajae. She was dressed and ready to leave the hospital.
"Watch me." She slid on her boots.
"I'm not going to sign you out."
"No one said you had to." Seajae was on edge. Something was eating away at her and she didn't know what it was. She needed a cigarette and fresh air. They had taken Bosco down for some test and she figured if she timed it right she'd be back by the time he was.
"Damn it Seajae.......now I know why Ken made me come in this morning." He looked at her and shook his head. "Forget it." He threw her chart on the bed. "Just don't come running to me when you pass out on the street because unlike Ken I won't put you back together." He stormed out of the door. Seajae looked up. She shook her head. She didn't need anything more to feel guilty about. Grabbing her jacket she headed out the door. Cooper was at the nurses station. He didn't look up as she passed by. Opting to take the stairs she never looked back. She had her own problems and she needed to deal with . The first drag of her cigarette burned her lungs. The second went down a little smoother.
"Ken will have your ass he finds you out here." Susan Lewis stood with her arms crossed.
"What Ken doens't know won't hurt him."
"You think Cooper's not going to tattle on you."
"Cooper can kiss my ass. I needed a cigarette."
"I bet if you asked him nicely he would of let you go."
"Could you stop being my mother for like a minute." Seajae took a long drag of her cigarette. Susan looked at her friend.
"Honestly if you'd quit acting like you were six we wouln't have to treat you like you were. One of these days your bull head is going to get you more then a stay at the hospital. Damn it Seajae you have a husband and kids to think about." Seajae looked at Susan.
"You just don't get it. I'm the strong one. The one everyone counts on. The one everyone expects to pull thier ass out of the fire when things get to hot. I can't be everything to everybody anymore. My life is going down hill fast and I just lost all controle. Tommy......he came......he came within a minute of raping me and I froze. My sences locked up and I couldn't fight back." Seajae took a deep breath. "And my husband my never walk again."
"Are you going to love him any less if he never walks again? Would he have loved you less if Tommy had raped you?"
"NO! To both. I just can't get it out of my head."
"You need to talk to someone."
"I'm talking to you."
"I'm a ER doctor. Not a head doctor."
"I'll be ok. I think I just need to vent. God Susan what the hell I'm I going to do."
"What you always do. Pull yourself up and get on with your life."
"That's all I seem like do is pull myself up and keep going. My life is one tragity after another."
"What is it that Bosco's mom always said.....something about God not giving us more then we can handle."
"Well he overestamated me that's for sure." Susan knew she was treading on thin ice. Seajae had a temper and when she was mad she could get explosive. She had heard stories that made Atilla the Hun look like a saint. She took a deep breath.
"Let's go upstairs and see Bosco." Seajae took one last drag of her cigarette.
"I should go home. Check on the kids."
"I just came from there. The Doyle's, Mike and your uncle are doing just fine." Susan looked at her friend. "You need to be with Bosco right now."
"What do I say Susan? What to I tell him when he asked what happened with Tommy?"
"Nothing happened." Susan looked at Seajae. "Why does this seem like there's more to it then what your telling me?" Seajae's h ead was throbbing and her stomach was turning from lack of food and fear.
"I was.....I was raped when I was fifteen." She had never told anyone about it. Not Faith not even Bosco. "It was the son of one of the foster families I live with. They believed him. That I asked for it. I started to believe I asked for it. I was a scared kid looking for someone to love me. He paid attention to me."
"He hurt you Seajae. Is that what you think happened with Tommy. That you gave him a reason?" Susan looked at her strong fearless friend. "You didn't do anything to make Tommy think he could do what he did to you. He wanted to get back at Bosco for what he thought was his fault." She wasn't sure what she should say. She knew that Seajae held things back. Susan feared that whatever she was holding back my cause bigger problems. "You need to talk to someone who deals with this stuff all the time."
"I'll get over it." Seajae lit another cigarette and looked into the morning sky. "I just needed to vent."
"You need to talk to someone Seajae." She knew Susan was right. She shouldn't feel this way over something that almost happened.
"Maybe your right. But I gotta take care of things with Bosco." She threw her cigarette and stepped on it. "I'm sorry. For yelling."
"You need to vent." Susan put her arm around her shoulder and they headed upstairs.
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Seajae sat next to Bosco and watched him sleep. They started his physical therepy and it wore him out. It had been three weeks since the accident. Three weeks. Three long weeks. He came home after a week in the hospital. There was still some swelling but Ken and Cooper said he'd be fine. He went to therepy and complained every second. She stopped going with him after the first few times. He yelled at her and yelled at the therepist. She wasn't dealing well with either. Getting up she headed into the kitchen and pour herself a big glass of ice tea with the ingredent she fell back on when things got rough. Vodka.
The kids had been alseep for hours. Taking them to the park while Bosco was in therepy wore them out. They had dinner and a bath and went straight to bed. They didn't talk much. Only what needed to be said. He hugged the kids good night and went off to bed himself. And Seajae sat and let the acohole seep into her body. The knock on the door made her jump. She looked at her watch. It was only nine o'clock. It always seemed so late when she was alone. Going to the door she slid it open. Alex, Kim, Tatianna and Faith stood on the other side.
"Hi...nobody working tonight?" Kim rubbed her belly and smiled.
"I'm on leave. The rest of them kinda followed me up." Seaajae stepped aside and let the four in.
"What can I do for you ladies?" Seajae picked up her drink and headed tword the patio. "Everyone's asleep. We can talk out here." They followed Seajae on tho the patio.
"Swerzsky says you comeing back to work on Monday." Seajae sat and lit a cigarette.
"I'm back logged." She inhaled. Faith sat across from her on the ledge.
"There's a dozon other detective's who can clean it up for you including Ty and Doyle." Seajae knew her friends ment well. They always did.
"I can't sit home anymore guys. Bosco doesn't need me or want me around for that matter. He comes home after therepy sits in front of the tv till dinner then goes to bed. He doesn't talk to me or the kids unless we talk to him first." Tatianna sat next to her.
"How are you holding up other wise?" She smiled. "Give it some time Seajae, Bosco has never been out a commission this long."
"I know. I just....he won't talk to me." Seajae took a long drag of her cigarette. "I don't care about the chair I just want my husband back in spirit." Kim ran her hand down her swollen belly.
"He'll pull out of it Seajae. Just don't give up on him."
"I would never do that it's just so frustrating." Seajae ran her hands though her hair. "I need something to keep my mind off the whole thing."
"Do you need someone to talk to. I mean granted our husbands were never....paralized but we all know what it's like to have a husband home hurt. Sully was out three months, Ty six weeks, Jimmy a month and Calab almost a month. They test our wills. Don't let this be the one thing that you can't go live with."
"Thanks for comeing by guys. I really do apreciated it." Seajae stood and put her cigarette out. "I can hand this. And I promise I won't go off screaming for the woods anytime soon." The friends went to leave. Faith picked up Seajae's tea glass and smelled it. When she went to leave she hugged Seajae.
"The Long Island Ice Tea route isn't fesable either."
"One to get to sleep at night isn't a big deal."
"As long as it doesn't turn into one to get you going in the morning." Faith left and Seajae leaned agaist the door and slid to the floor. She was holding on. She could do this. Laying her head on her knees she prayed that she could hold on till it was over. For Bosco's sake and her childrens.
Elliot pulled into the parking lot of the hospital. He turned the car off and looked at the woman sitting next to him. She was white.
"Seajae?"
"I can't. I can't go in there and act like nothing happened."
"Then don't." Elliot took her hand. "You never lied to your husband about anything. Don't start now. Nothing happened. He didn't hurt you. Your safe and sound that's all that matters."
"He'll know......just knowing what might of happened."
"Nothing happened Seajae. I got there in time. Nothing happened." Elliot didn't know how to put it any other way. She was trembling. "Let's go see him. You'll feel better. I promise." He got out of the car and went around to open her door. "You can do this Seaj." He offered her his hand. She looked at him.
"Thank you." She took his hand and let him help her up. "For everything Elliot. Not just for tonight. You've always been there for me and shown me the way." She hugged him.
"Anytime Sunshine. I'm kinda tired of saving your ass though." He laughed and pushed her away. "Let's go see your husband." He lead her into the hospital. The elevator was empty as they headed for the third floor.
"Where is everyone?"
"You mean your friends and family?"
"Yeah."
"They're coming. They wanted you to get her before Bosco hurt himself or someone else." The elevator door opened and Faith was waiting for them. Seajae started to cry again. Stepping out of the elevator Faith hugged her. She looked at Elliot. "She's scared. That's all. We got him before he could hurt her." Consoling her friend she Faith lead Seajae to the waiting room down the hall.
"It's ok Seajae. Everything will be fine." Elliot sat next to them.
"You need to get your head looked at." He had just noticed the sticky blood on the back of her head. She nodded as the tears fell. No one had seen Seajae this scared. Elliot got up and went to the nurses station to see if Cooper or Ken were around to look at her head.
"Seajae what happened?" Faith asked hoping talking about it would lighten whatever was making her feel this way.
"He snuck up behind me. Threw me into his car. I couldn't move. It was like I forgot everything I ever learned. I.....I couldn't think. Then the phone rang and...it was Maddie and she wanted to talk to him and I jumped out of the car and ran. Everything hurt but I ran......there was a RMP and......I woke up and he was standing over me." Elliot went and got Cooper as Seajae started to hyperventalate.
"It's okay......Elliot was there and it's over." Faith held her friends shaking body. Cooper and Elliot came down the hall. "She's going to be fine just give her a minute to calm down." Seajae was breathing faster.
"Seajae...take some deep breaths." Cooper came and kneeled down in front of her. "Seajae calm down." She was turning a ashen shade as Cooper put her head between her legs. "Get me a gurney." He checked her paulse. "Seajae please you need to calm down." Two ordilies came with a gurney. Cooper and Elliot helped Seajae on it. "Ten of advan. We need to get her calmed down." She was cluching his arm. "Seajae deep breaths. Come on." The nurse broght a sirninge to Cooper. "Seajae I'm going to give you something to calm you down."
"No.....No......."
"Sweety you need to breath." Faith held her hand and stroked her hair. "Cooper just wants to help."
"No drugs....no."
"Seajae your heart rate is off the charts. You need to calm down." But the fear became worse. She clung to Faith's hand. Cooper took her other arm and injected the medication into her arm. It took a minute but soon she was calm and almost asleep. "I'm going to check her head and get her a bed."
"One in the same room as Bosco I would hope." Faith looked at Cooper.
"You know it." The elevator opened. Maddie followed by Swertzsky and Doyle came out.
"What the hell happened?" Dan looked at Faith. Faith looked at Cooper.
"She had a panic attack....I think." Cooper looked at the the back of Seajae's head. "I'm sure she's got a concusion." He knodded to the ordilies and they took her and headed toward Bosco's room. "One of you want to tell him or do you want me to." No one volenteered. Maddie stepped forward.
"You all owe me one." She walked down to Bosco's room and took a deep breath before she stepped inside.
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"Boscorelli....."
"Maddie? Hey....." He sat up. She went to him and hugged him. "You look good."
"For a dead woman?"
"For any woman." He smiled. "We missed you Maddie."
"I missed you guys too." She sat on the chair next to him. "Seajae and Elliot......they got Tommy." Even after almost ten years Bosco could still sence a but in her voice.
"Is she?"
"Just a concusion." She went and opened the door. The ordilies brought Seajae's bed in.
"Just a concusion?" Cooper came in behind her.
"I gave her something.....she had an panic attack in the hall."
"My wife.....a panic attack?" Faith and Elliot came in. "You don't know my wife doc. She would never have a panic attack." Faith bit her lip.
"You guys want to give us a minute....." Everyone but Elliot left the room. Faith went and sat next to the bed. "Bosco.....Elliot....he got to her in time. But Seajae.....Tommy was about to....." Bosco rubbed his face and ran his hand though his hair.
"You don't have to tell me." He looked over at his wife. She looked so peaceful. "You did what you said you would." Bosco wanted to go to her and hold her. Seajae was the strong one. She held it all together when things got rough. Things were as rough as they ever had been. He couldn't walk and she was going though something she had never been though before.
"I could of been sooner."
"You got there in time." Bosco sat up. "Could you help me?" Elliot and Faith helped him sit and he put his legs over the edge, then lifted him to the wheel chair that had been sitting in the corner. Elliot wheeled him over to Seajae's side. "Thanks." He took her hand in his and kissed the top of it. "Could you....?"
"Yeah sure buddy." Faith and Elliot headed to the door. "If you need us......."
"Yeah. Thanks." They left them alone and Bosco held her hand tighter. "I'm here Sunshine." He brushed the hair from her face. "You did good honey. You got him." Bosco let a tear fall down his cheek. "I need you now more then I ever did before." He thought of the things that brought them to this place. 9/11, Mueler, her breakdown,the kids kidnapping, his memory loss, the avalanch, her kidnapping. They thrived on pressure. On stress. They would make it though this too. "I love you Seajae. Please don't let this be the way things end for us."
"She wouldn't give you the satisfaction." Jackson McCall stood in the door way. He closed the door. "She loves you too much to let something like this stand in your way." Bosco looked at his wife's uncle.
"I know. I just can't stand seeing her this way."
"It's a bump on the head." He walked behind Bosco. "It'll heal."
"I didn't know you were in town."
"I just got in." He walked around and pulled up a chair. "I came to see how things were going in the Big Apple."
"Same shit, different day." He didn't want to talk to anyone now. Not even Jackson.
"I just wanted to see how you were doing."
"How does it look like I'm doing?" Jackson looked from his niece to her husband.
"The same as always. Keeping eachother together." Getting up he went to the window. "You know you two have something all of us wish we had. A support system that goes way beyond your family and friends." Jackson turned back to Bosco. "Whatever happens.....it will all be ok." He walked to the door. "I'm going to see my grand nieces and nephew. You hold down the fort here." Bosco looked back down at his wife.
"Sometimes I wonder about that man Seaj." Bosco smoothed his wife's hair. He didn't want to think of what might happen if he never walked agin. Would she leave him? He knew she wouldn't. But he didn't want to hold her down. Closing his eyes Bosco prayed that like everything else in his life this would work out.
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The waiting room of the third floor of Angle of Mercy Hospital looked like it always did when one or more of New Yorks finest was hurt. But this time they knew everyone was going to be fine. They knew Bosco and Seajae would be coming home. They now looked to Ken Miller and Cooper Sinclair to find out what they did next.
"So is Bosco going to walk again or not Doc?" Sully looked at Ken.
"There's no reason why he shouldn't but then again.....Bosco is as stuburn as any five men I know." Ken looked at Cooper. "We can't see any reason why he isn't walking." Jimmy looked around waiting for someone else to say what he was thinking but no one dared. He stood up.
"Your saying it's all in Bosco's head?"
"I'm saying there's no medical reason why he can't walk."
"So is physcoligical?" Kim looked at Ken.
"Do you want to recomend a physciatrist?" Ken looked at his friends. "I think we should just go on like we have been. I'll recomend physical therepy and we'll go from there. Sooner or later whatever's stopping Bosco from walking will clear itself up."
"You hope." Sully said as he stood up. "How long do we wait?"
"Only time will tell. But I want to know...should I tell Seajae?"
"She'll blame herself." Ty answered.
"Should we be deciding this?" Faith ask Ken. "I mean isn't this something you should be discussing with them?"
"In any other case yes. But Faith you know as well as I do the Boscorelli's don't need another thing to worry about. If you all agree I think we should keep what we know to ourselves for a little while." Ken Miller looked at the room full of friends.
"I'm with Ken." Billy Walsh looked around the room. "We're all they have. It's up to us to protect them. Right?" He didn't wait for an answer. "Tell us what we have to do to make things easier."
"We'll Bosco will need a way to thier apartment. There's no way he'll let anyone help him there." They all turned to Bosco's brother. Mickey had helped in the remolding and knew the building inside and out.
"Not a problem. There's an old elevator shaft in the back of the building. I can have one installed in three days."
"That will cost a forturn." Sully looked at Mikey.
"I got it covered." He wasn't going to tell them just how good his business wwas doing but with Seajae and Bosco's name behind him he'd made enough the last couple of years. Whatever he needed was a phone call away. And with Jackson in town if that wasn't enough he had the McBride fortune to turn to.
"Then that's all that we need to worry about right now." Ken got up. "Im going to check on them and head home. If you need anything just give me a call." He nodded good byes and headed down the hall.
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Bosco watched as Ken Miller gave his wife the once over. She was in one piece. That was all that mattered. Cooper stood back. Bosco wondered about Maddie's husband. He seemed to know alot about them. About how things with them worked. How much did Ken tell him and how much had he learned on his own. He fought for Seajae just like Ken always had.
"I think she just had a reaction to the lack of sleep and the adrenilen." Ken looked at Bosco. "What about you. How are you feeling?"
"Like I flew a hundred feet and hit a brick wall."
"Well all I can say is it can only get better my friend." Ken got up. "I left orders with the nurse to leave you two alone unless you need something." He put the charts back in thier holders. "You have anything to add Cooper?"
"Thank you. For your dedication to getting Tommy off the street."
"That was my wife's doing."
"But all of you had a hand in it." Cooper pushed himself away from the wall. "I'm glad I was able to finally meet Maddie friends." He went to Bosco. "And you will walk Bosco if it's the last thing I do." He nodded at Ken and headed out the door.
"Just so you know his word is as good as yours." Ken headed for the door. "Please be nice to my nursing staff. The last time you were here I had three nurses and five candy stripers threaten to quit if I didn't release you." He left shutting the door behind him.
"Well baby it's just you and me." He looked over at his sleeping wife. "Sweet dreams baby." He closed his eyes and let sleep overtake him.
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Seajae dug though the fog and tried to open her eyes. She heard Bosco's voice sweet and soothing. He always knew what to say to her to make her feel safe. All she wanted was to go home and snuggle next to her husband in thier big king size bed. Tommy was gone. Locked up. He wouldn't hurt them any more. Slowly opening her eyes she looked to see where she was. The stark white room gave her a clue. Shaking off the sleepiness her head started to throb. Now she remembered. Tommy's friend in the RMP. He had hit her in the back of the head. Hard by the feel of it.
"Nice seeing you again Detective." There was a nurse checking her IV.
"Hey Bonnie." She tried to smile at the young nurse. "What time is it?"
"Two in the morning. I just gave Bosco something to sleep. He was getting a little adjetated that you weren't waking up. Dr. Sinclair gave me orders to drug him if he gave us a hard time."
"I knew I liked that man for a reason." Swolling hard she felt the room closing in on her. "Could you get me a phone."
"The kids are with Mike and Jackson. Work doesn't need you and your husband is right next to you. Faith said you'd try to get out of getting some rest. She said she'd try holding everything all together while you recover."
"I just.....I need to talk to someone."
"You need to rest." She took a needle out of her pocket.
"Give me ten minutes and you can drug me till next Tuesday." Bonnie gave her a look that was only ment to scare her but didn't quite make it. She handed Seajae the phone and stepped away from the bed.
"Ten minutes." She walked out of the room. Seajae dialed Elliot's number. She knew she shouldn't but she needed to know for sure Tommy was safe and sound in a cell.
"Stabler." A sleepy voice answerd after the forth ring.
"Just tell me he's downtown behind as many locked doors as he can be."
"Seajae?" Elliot sat up. "Do you know what time it is?"
"Yeah. Just tell me."
"Tommy Harrigan is at Rikers under twenty four hour watch. No one goes in or out of his cell without half the prision going on allert."
"Thank you for getting there before......"
"I promised I would. Now can I get back to sleep?"
"Tell Katey I'm sorry."
"Yeah I will."
"Talk to you soon."
"After the sun rises would be nice. Take care Sunshine." Elliot hung up and turned over to find his wife awake.
"I should be jelouse."
"She needed to know Harrigan was locked up."
"At two in the morning?"
"You didn't see her this afternoon Katey. She was shaking like a leaf. I've never seen her like that."
"I'm sorry. I know she's your friend but sometimes......"
"I know. She said the same thing. She's like my sister. Nothing more, nothing less."
"I know. Seajae needs family as much as she needs friends." Katey kissed him. "But I need a husband."
"MMMM. Let me see if I can find his somewhere." He smiled and kissed his wife. "I love you Katey."
"I love you too Elliot."
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"You can't just leave." Cooper looked at Seajae. She was dressed and ready to leave the hospital.
"Watch me." She slid on her boots.
"I'm not going to sign you out."
"No one said you had to." Seajae was on edge. Something was eating away at her and she didn't know what it was. She needed a cigarette and fresh air. They had taken Bosco down for some test and she figured if she timed it right she'd be back by the time he was.
"Damn it Seajae.......now I know why Ken made me come in this morning." He looked at her and shook his head. "Forget it." He threw her chart on the bed. "Just don't come running to me when you pass out on the street because unlike Ken I won't put you back together." He stormed out of the door. Seajae looked up. She shook her head. She didn't need anything more to feel guilty about. Grabbing her jacket she headed out the door. Cooper was at the nurses station. He didn't look up as she passed by. Opting to take the stairs she never looked back. She had her own problems and she needed to deal with . The first drag of her cigarette burned her lungs. The second went down a little smoother.
"Ken will have your ass he finds you out here." Susan Lewis stood with her arms crossed.
"What Ken doens't know won't hurt him."
"You think Cooper's not going to tattle on you."
"Cooper can kiss my ass. I needed a cigarette."
"I bet if you asked him nicely he would of let you go."
"Could you stop being my mother for like a minute." Seajae took a long drag of her cigarette. Susan looked at her friend.
"Honestly if you'd quit acting like you were six we wouln't have to treat you like you were. One of these days your bull head is going to get you more then a stay at the hospital. Damn it Seajae you have a husband and kids to think about." Seajae looked at Susan.
"You just don't get it. I'm the strong one. The one everyone counts on. The one everyone expects to pull thier ass out of the fire when things get to hot. I can't be everything to everybody anymore. My life is going down hill fast and I just lost all controle. Tommy......he came......he came within a minute of raping me and I froze. My sences locked up and I couldn't fight back." Seajae took a deep breath. "And my husband my never walk again."
"Are you going to love him any less if he never walks again? Would he have loved you less if Tommy had raped you?"
"NO! To both. I just can't get it out of my head."
"You need to talk to someone."
"I'm talking to you."
"I'm a ER doctor. Not a head doctor."
"I'll be ok. I think I just need to vent. God Susan what the hell I'm I going to do."
"What you always do. Pull yourself up and get on with your life."
"That's all I seem like do is pull myself up and keep going. My life is one tragity after another."
"What is it that Bosco's mom always said.....something about God not giving us more then we can handle."
"Well he overestamated me that's for sure." Susan knew she was treading on thin ice. Seajae had a temper and when she was mad she could get explosive. She had heard stories that made Atilla the Hun look like a saint. She took a deep breath.
"Let's go upstairs and see Bosco." Seajae took one last drag of her cigarette.
"I should go home. Check on the kids."
"I just came from there. The Doyle's, Mike and your uncle are doing just fine." Susan looked at her friend. "You need to be with Bosco right now."
"What do I say Susan? What to I tell him when he asked what happened with Tommy?"
"Nothing happened." Susan looked at Seajae. "Why does this seem like there's more to it then what your telling me?" Seajae's h ead was throbbing and her stomach was turning from lack of food and fear.
"I was.....I was raped when I was fifteen." She had never told anyone about it. Not Faith not even Bosco. "It was the son of one of the foster families I live with. They believed him. That I asked for it. I started to believe I asked for it. I was a scared kid looking for someone to love me. He paid attention to me."
"He hurt you Seajae. Is that what you think happened with Tommy. That you gave him a reason?" Susan looked at her strong fearless friend. "You didn't do anything to make Tommy think he could do what he did to you. He wanted to get back at Bosco for what he thought was his fault." She wasn't sure what she should say. She knew that Seajae held things back. Susan feared that whatever she was holding back my cause bigger problems. "You need to talk to someone who deals with this stuff all the time."
"I'll get over it." Seajae lit another cigarette and looked into the morning sky. "I just needed to vent."
"You need to talk to someone Seajae." She knew Susan was right. She shouldn't feel this way over something that almost happened.
"Maybe your right. But I gotta take care of things with Bosco." She threw her cigarette and stepped on it. "I'm sorry. For yelling."
"You need to vent." Susan put her arm around her shoulder and they headed upstairs.
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Seajae sat next to Bosco and watched him sleep. They started his physical therepy and it wore him out. It had been three weeks since the accident. Three weeks. Three long weeks. He came home after a week in the hospital. There was still some swelling but Ken and Cooper said he'd be fine. He went to therepy and complained every second. She stopped going with him after the first few times. He yelled at her and yelled at the therepist. She wasn't dealing well with either. Getting up she headed into the kitchen and pour herself a big glass of ice tea with the ingredent she fell back on when things got rough. Vodka.
The kids had been alseep for hours. Taking them to the park while Bosco was in therepy wore them out. They had dinner and a bath and went straight to bed. They didn't talk much. Only what needed to be said. He hugged the kids good night and went off to bed himself. And Seajae sat and let the acohole seep into her body. The knock on the door made her jump. She looked at her watch. It was only nine o'clock. It always seemed so late when she was alone. Going to the door she slid it open. Alex, Kim, Tatianna and Faith stood on the other side.
"Hi...nobody working tonight?" Kim rubbed her belly and smiled.
"I'm on leave. The rest of them kinda followed me up." Seaajae stepped aside and let the four in.
"What can I do for you ladies?" Seajae picked up her drink and headed tword the patio. "Everyone's asleep. We can talk out here." They followed Seajae on tho the patio.
"Swerzsky says you comeing back to work on Monday." Seajae sat and lit a cigarette.
"I'm back logged." She inhaled. Faith sat across from her on the ledge.
"There's a dozon other detective's who can clean it up for you including Ty and Doyle." Seajae knew her friends ment well. They always did.
"I can't sit home anymore guys. Bosco doesn't need me or want me around for that matter. He comes home after therepy sits in front of the tv till dinner then goes to bed. He doesn't talk to me or the kids unless we talk to him first." Tatianna sat next to her.
"How are you holding up other wise?" She smiled. "Give it some time Seajae, Bosco has never been out a commission this long."
"I know. I just....he won't talk to me." Seajae took a long drag of her cigarette. "I don't care about the chair I just want my husband back in spirit." Kim ran her hand down her swollen belly.
"He'll pull out of it Seajae. Just don't give up on him."
"I would never do that it's just so frustrating." Seajae ran her hands though her hair. "I need something to keep my mind off the whole thing."
"Do you need someone to talk to. I mean granted our husbands were never....paralized but we all know what it's like to have a husband home hurt. Sully was out three months, Ty six weeks, Jimmy a month and Calab almost a month. They test our wills. Don't let this be the one thing that you can't go live with."
"Thanks for comeing by guys. I really do apreciated it." Seajae stood and put her cigarette out. "I can hand this. And I promise I won't go off screaming for the woods anytime soon." The friends went to leave. Faith picked up Seajae's tea glass and smelled it. When she went to leave she hugged Seajae.
"The Long Island Ice Tea route isn't fesable either."
"One to get to sleep at night isn't a big deal."
"As long as it doesn't turn into one to get you going in the morning." Faith left and Seajae leaned agaist the door and slid to the floor. She was holding on. She could do this. Laying her head on her knees she prayed that she could hold on till it was over. For Bosco's sake and her childrens.