Part 2: Kyrie eleison
Elena Derevko climbed the stairs to the three-room apartment she shared with Irina when her younger sister was home, glad that her day of teaching at the KGB Academy was finally over. It was too bad that Irina would be gone for several weeks, she thought; her sister was always a good sounding board when she had a problem. Elena opened the apartment door and paused briefly, surprised, when she saw Irina sitting at the table, a pensive look on her face. "Irina," she said. "I didn't expect you to be home."
Irina smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. She stood. "Elena, there's something I have to tell you..."
The door to Irina's bedroom opened, and Elena watched in confusion as a child entered the room, rubbing her eyes sleepily. "Mommy?" she murmured. She noticed Elena and stared; Elena gasped when she saw the obvious resemblance to Irina.
Irina went to the child and put an arm around her shoulders. She spoke in English. "Elena, this is my daughter. Her name is Sydney." Elena had to grab at the wall for support as a year of Irina's silent, pained eyes, a year of calling out "Jack" and "Sydney" in her sleep, suddenly made sense. She now had a much better idea why the KGB had considered an eight-month "debriefing", with no access to Irina allowed, a necessity. Elena had suspected that those eight months had actually been spent reprogramming her sister, but Irina had never talked about anything that had happened in the eleven years she'd been gone. Irina turned to the child. "Sydney, this is your aunt Elena."
"Hi," Sydney said, barely audibly.
Elena gave the child what she hoped was a reassuring smile. "Hello, Sydney," she said in lightly accented English. "It's nice to meet you."
Sydney gave her a small, timid smile, then turned back to Irina. "I have to go to the bathroom," she whispered.
Irina smiled and pointed. "Through that door, Sydney." Sydney went into the bathroom, and Irina turned to Elena.
"Ira, why didn't you tell me you had a child?" Elena asked in Russian.
"They told me to forget her," Irina said softly as she sank down onto the couch. "At least until they decided to kidnap her."
Elena sat down beside her sister and put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "What happened?"
"Apparently her father is dead, and so they brought her here." Elena saw tears shimmering in Irina's eyes for a brief moment, but Irina swallowed hard and they disappeared. "They were keeping her in a cell at headquarters until I got there. She's barely said a word; I brought her home and fed her, and then she said she was tired, so I put her to bed." She turned to face Elena fully. "I don't know what to do, Lena. It's been so long...she would have thought that I was dead. This must all be so strange for her."
Elena saw the raw anguish in her sister's eyes. "We'll take care of her, Irushka. It will be all right."
Sydney came out of the bathroom and climbed onto the couch beside Irina, glancing nervously at Elena. Irina was relieved when Elena stood. "Well, since you two are here, we'll need some more groceries," Elena said brightly in English. "I'll go shopping." Irina gave her sister a grateful smile as Elena grabbed a basket and dropped a book into it. She knew Elena wasn't really going shopping, since the markets tended to be quite empty this time of week.
When Elena was gone, Irina turned to Sydney. She wished her daughter would cry, or scream, or something. She didn't know how to deal with this silent little girl. "Talk to me, sweetheart," she said, rubbing Sydney's back.
Sydney blinked and stared at her mother for a moment. "Mommy, are you an angel? Daddy said you went away to heaven."
If the situation hadn't been so serious, Irina would have laughed at the idea of anyone thinking of her as an angel. "No, Sydney, I most certainly am not an angel," she said.
"Is Daddy here? Aunt Karen said Daddy went to heaven to be with you, and I asked why he didn't take me with him. I don't think this is heaven, though," Sydney said with an expression of distaste.
Irina broke into a smile. Now she was seeing the child she remembered. "This isn't heaven, Sydney. Everybody made a mistake when they thought I went to heaven. Have you learned about a place called Russia in school?"
Sydney nodded with a frown. "They're the bad guys," she said with all the certainty of 2nd-grade morality.
They started the indoctrination just as early in America as they did here, Irina thought. "Not the bad guys, Sydney, just different. We're in Russia now, in a city called Moscow. I grew up here."
"Oh." Sydney processed the information for a moment. "Was that lady your sister?" Irina nodded. "Does she live here?" Irina nodded again. "Do we live here too?"
"Yes, Sydney." Sydney looked around at the rather bare room unhappily. "Tomorrow we'll go shopping and get you some clothes and things, okay? I didn't know you were coming until today."
"Okay." Sydney seemed slightly cheered up at the thought of shopping.
Irina took a deep breath. "Sydney, can you tell me what happened to Daddy?"
"He went on a trip, and he said he was only going to be gone for a week, but two weeks later Aunt Karen came and said that there was an accident and Daddy went to heaven." Irina nodded. If Jack had been killed on a mission, his sister wouldn't have been given any details, of course. Sydney continued, "Aunt Karen said I was going to live with Grandma and Grandpa, and she took me to their house, but then Grandpa said I should live with Aunt Karen, and Grandma said that she and Grandpa were old, and they started fighting and sent me outside to play." Irina felt furious at her in-laws, particularly Jack's sister, who had always been extremely spoiled and self-centered. Karen enjoyed her single, unencumbered lifestyle and apparently hadn't wanted to give it up to take care of her niece. Jack's parents were in quite poor health, it was true, but did they have to discuss it front of Sydney? Irina refocused on her daughter as Sydney continued. "I was down by the lake, and I think I got a bee sting." She pointed to her neck, and Irina could see a small red mark. "Then I saw a man all dressed in black, and I tried to yell and run away, but I felt really, really tired. I guess I fell asleep. When I woke up I was in that little room, and I yelled, but nobody came. Then I went back to sleep, and then you came. I missed you, Mommy."
"I missed you, too, sweetheart," Irina said, giving Sydney a hug. She supposed she should be grateful to the KGB for bringing her daughter to her, although their methods left a lot to be desired. The best place for Sydney had been with Jack, but now that he was gone—Irina swallowed the lump that suddenly appeared in her throat, reminding herself that she had not loved him and she would not mourn him—despite the difficulties she would face in learning a new language and adjusting to a new way of life, the best place for Sydney now was with her mother.
Elena Derevko climbed the stairs to the three-room apartment she shared with Irina when her younger sister was home, glad that her day of teaching at the KGB Academy was finally over. It was too bad that Irina would be gone for several weeks, she thought; her sister was always a good sounding board when she had a problem. Elena opened the apartment door and paused briefly, surprised, when she saw Irina sitting at the table, a pensive look on her face. "Irina," she said. "I didn't expect you to be home."
Irina smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. She stood. "Elena, there's something I have to tell you..."
The door to Irina's bedroom opened, and Elena watched in confusion as a child entered the room, rubbing her eyes sleepily. "Mommy?" she murmured. She noticed Elena and stared; Elena gasped when she saw the obvious resemblance to Irina.
Irina went to the child and put an arm around her shoulders. She spoke in English. "Elena, this is my daughter. Her name is Sydney." Elena had to grab at the wall for support as a year of Irina's silent, pained eyes, a year of calling out "Jack" and "Sydney" in her sleep, suddenly made sense. She now had a much better idea why the KGB had considered an eight-month "debriefing", with no access to Irina allowed, a necessity. Elena had suspected that those eight months had actually been spent reprogramming her sister, but Irina had never talked about anything that had happened in the eleven years she'd been gone. Irina turned to the child. "Sydney, this is your aunt Elena."
"Hi," Sydney said, barely audibly.
Elena gave the child what she hoped was a reassuring smile. "Hello, Sydney," she said in lightly accented English. "It's nice to meet you."
Sydney gave her a small, timid smile, then turned back to Irina. "I have to go to the bathroom," she whispered.
Irina smiled and pointed. "Through that door, Sydney." Sydney went into the bathroom, and Irina turned to Elena.
"Ira, why didn't you tell me you had a child?" Elena asked in Russian.
"They told me to forget her," Irina said softly as she sank down onto the couch. "At least until they decided to kidnap her."
Elena sat down beside her sister and put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "What happened?"
"Apparently her father is dead, and so they brought her here." Elena saw tears shimmering in Irina's eyes for a brief moment, but Irina swallowed hard and they disappeared. "They were keeping her in a cell at headquarters until I got there. She's barely said a word; I brought her home and fed her, and then she said she was tired, so I put her to bed." She turned to face Elena fully. "I don't know what to do, Lena. It's been so long...she would have thought that I was dead. This must all be so strange for her."
Elena saw the raw anguish in her sister's eyes. "We'll take care of her, Irushka. It will be all right."
Sydney came out of the bathroom and climbed onto the couch beside Irina, glancing nervously at Elena. Irina was relieved when Elena stood. "Well, since you two are here, we'll need some more groceries," Elena said brightly in English. "I'll go shopping." Irina gave her sister a grateful smile as Elena grabbed a basket and dropped a book into it. She knew Elena wasn't really going shopping, since the markets tended to be quite empty this time of week.
When Elena was gone, Irina turned to Sydney. She wished her daughter would cry, or scream, or something. She didn't know how to deal with this silent little girl. "Talk to me, sweetheart," she said, rubbing Sydney's back.
Sydney blinked and stared at her mother for a moment. "Mommy, are you an angel? Daddy said you went away to heaven."
If the situation hadn't been so serious, Irina would have laughed at the idea of anyone thinking of her as an angel. "No, Sydney, I most certainly am not an angel," she said.
"Is Daddy here? Aunt Karen said Daddy went to heaven to be with you, and I asked why he didn't take me with him. I don't think this is heaven, though," Sydney said with an expression of distaste.
Irina broke into a smile. Now she was seeing the child she remembered. "This isn't heaven, Sydney. Everybody made a mistake when they thought I went to heaven. Have you learned about a place called Russia in school?"
Sydney nodded with a frown. "They're the bad guys," she said with all the certainty of 2nd-grade morality.
They started the indoctrination just as early in America as they did here, Irina thought. "Not the bad guys, Sydney, just different. We're in Russia now, in a city called Moscow. I grew up here."
"Oh." Sydney processed the information for a moment. "Was that lady your sister?" Irina nodded. "Does she live here?" Irina nodded again. "Do we live here too?"
"Yes, Sydney." Sydney looked around at the rather bare room unhappily. "Tomorrow we'll go shopping and get you some clothes and things, okay? I didn't know you were coming until today."
"Okay." Sydney seemed slightly cheered up at the thought of shopping.
Irina took a deep breath. "Sydney, can you tell me what happened to Daddy?"
"He went on a trip, and he said he was only going to be gone for a week, but two weeks later Aunt Karen came and said that there was an accident and Daddy went to heaven." Irina nodded. If Jack had been killed on a mission, his sister wouldn't have been given any details, of course. Sydney continued, "Aunt Karen said I was going to live with Grandma and Grandpa, and she took me to their house, but then Grandpa said I should live with Aunt Karen, and Grandma said that she and Grandpa were old, and they started fighting and sent me outside to play." Irina felt furious at her in-laws, particularly Jack's sister, who had always been extremely spoiled and self-centered. Karen enjoyed her single, unencumbered lifestyle and apparently hadn't wanted to give it up to take care of her niece. Jack's parents were in quite poor health, it was true, but did they have to discuss it front of Sydney? Irina refocused on her daughter as Sydney continued. "I was down by the lake, and I think I got a bee sting." She pointed to her neck, and Irina could see a small red mark. "Then I saw a man all dressed in black, and I tried to yell and run away, but I felt really, really tired. I guess I fell asleep. When I woke up I was in that little room, and I yelled, but nobody came. Then I went back to sleep, and then you came. I missed you, Mommy."
"I missed you, too, sweetheart," Irina said, giving Sydney a hug. She supposed she should be grateful to the KGB for bringing her daughter to her, although their methods left a lot to be desired. The best place for Sydney had been with Jack, but now that he was gone—Irina swallowed the lump that suddenly appeared in her throat, reminding herself that she had not loved him and she would not mourn him—despite the difficulties she would face in learning a new language and adjusting to a new way of life, the best place for Sydney now was with her mother.