Reason's Treason By Brenna Crabtree
Timmy Turner, an average sixth grader, walks into his clasroom one slow morning and seats himself beside his friends in the back row. Mr. Crocker strides into the room. He writes 'quiz' on the blackboard. Timmy looks hesitant and reaches under his desk for a scrunched piece of paper. He pulls it out and looks at the writing scribbled on it.
" Two times six is twelve, um, five times four is twenty," Timmy mumbles as he scans the sheet. He shoves the paper back under the desk as Mr. Crocker walks up to him.
" Turner, what is seven times ten?" Mr. Crocker asks with a frown. Timmy looks at him sheepishly and fumbles with his fingers, trying to figure out seven times ten. He glances up now and then to see Mr. Crocker's face get more and more disgusted. Mr. Crocker scratches something down on Timmy's test paper and slams it down on the desk.
" Seventy, it's seventy Turner!" Timmy looks at his paper, which is sadly marked with seven D's.
" One for each of the seven tests that you'll be taking this week," Mr. Crocker explains," Unless you have a good reason why you're bringing this class down."
Mr. Crocker slumps over to his desk and pulls out a book called How to Deal with Irritable, Uncooperative and Fiesty Students, and gets ready to ignore everything that Timmy says.
On his way home, Timmy spots Trixie striding down the street with her head held high and her hair swishing with every step. Timmy watches her with interest until she disappears from view.
" Boy, I may never get to walk beside her, but just walking behind her would be good enough for me," Timmy says dreamily.He sighs and walks home in the opposite direction.
When he gets home, he finds his parents right in the doorway, stopping him from going any further.
" You're not to do anything until your room is clean," His Mom declares, pointing toward his bedroom.
" Why?" Timmy wonders aloud. His Mother and Father look surprised.
"Why? Because there's no reason why you shouldn't, especially when it's in that state!" His Mother points out, putting her hands on her hips.
Timmy is dispirited as he enters his room, which is littered with empty soda cans, dirty clothes and toys of all kinds. He drops his schoolbag onto the floor and watches his fish turn into winged, wand waving beings. His fairy godparents Cosmo and Wanda.
" How was school?" Wanda asks curiously.
" Horrible. I can't reason with Mr. Crocker at all, and he won't accept any of the excuses you gave me," Timmy sighs as he hops onto his bed.
" Not even 'my fish ate my homework'?" Cosmo asks.
" Yeah, he said that a fish's digestive system wouldn't be able to handle it," Timmy answers. Cosmo coughs up a piece of paper and makes it disappear with his wand.
" I learned that the hard way. Eating your timestables didn't help it get through to my brain at all," Cosmo admits disappointedly. They watch as Timmy curls up on his bed and closes his eyes. Wanda turns into a blanket and places herself on top of Timmy as Cosmo pops into a pillow and wriggles under Timmy's head.
" Guys," Timmy whispers soundly, " I wish I had a good reason for everything. I don't care how I say it, as long as it's good." Cosmo and Wanda smile and raise their wands happily. POOF!
Seconds later, Timmy's door swings open and his Mom stands in the doorway, holding a bottle of air refreshener. Timmy wakes up in surprise and shoves Wanda and Cosmo behind him as his Mom plugs her nose and sprays every inch of his room with a plum-berry smell. She stops in front of his bed and shakes the bottle hard. Cosmo and Wanda cower behind Timmy as he sheilds himself with his hands. She sprays him from head to foot enthusiastically and turns on her heel to leave.
" Ah yes, much better. Now all you have to do is pick up your mess," she says. Timmy looks surprised and and jumps to his feet defendantly.
"But Mom," he begins," The mold and fungi thriving on my garbidge are counting on me to keep their species alive and unthreatened!"
His Mom raises her eyebrows and bends over to pick up a moldy sandwich.
" Well, I would hate to be the one to cause the extinction of a thriving species, even if it is something I despise ," his Mom admits, " Okay Timmy, I'll see what I can do" she says as she picks up all his garbidge and leaves the room. Timmy blinks in amazement.
" Cool! I'm no-one to be reasoned with!" Timmy says happily. He breathes in heavily and starts to walk proudly out of the room, when his eyes start to water.
" And I'm off to to take a reasonably long bath to discourage the impression that I'm a berry bush," Timmy declares.
"He's both reasonable and discriptive!" Cosmo says happily.
The next day, Timmy enters Mr. Crocker's classroom twirling his pencil between his fingers and smiling. Mr. Crocker catches his eye and points to an empty desk in the front row. Timmy seats himself and looks left, then right, then at Mr. Crocker who is turned around and writing on the board. Timmy climbs upon his desk and listens as others whisper and giggle. he does a headstand and starts to alternate hands, then tucks in and spins on his head. Classmates mumble and stare, then start egging him on. Timmy stands up and faces the class, loving the feel of towering over them. The class falls into silence and Timmy gets ready for what's about to come.
Two cold hands grab at his ankles and he finds himself swung upside- down, staring into the angry eyes of Mr. Crocker.
" What is the meaning of such activity in my classroom Turner?"Mr. Crocker grumbles. Timmy aswers him without hesitation.
" This school doesn't have a gym program that will keep my energy level neutral," Timmy explains. Mr. Crocker drops him onto his chair and takes out How to Deal with Irritable, Uncooperative and Fiesty students from his pocket. Timmy looks at the others in the class. Some are giving him thumbs up and some are shaking their heads with disbelief.
" Flukey Turner," Mr.Crocker grumbles as he closes his book," The reason you have can be considered acceptable. I shall talk with the principal to set up a gym program."
The class goes wild, whistling and shouting excitedly. "Quiet! Take out your math books, wait no, math books away, quiz time!" Mr. Crocker declares. He pulls out the quiz papers and hands them out to gloomy students. Before Mr. Crocker writes the automatic D on Timmy's quiz paper, Timmy waves his arm energetically to get Mr. Crocker's attention. Mr. Crocker rolls his eyes.
" I'm glad you mentioned that gym program Turner, you do seem to have excess energy in your arms," Mr. Crocker hisses. Timmy frowns.
" About those D's", Timmy explains," I have a good reason why I'm bringing the class down."
Mr. Crocker stares at him without sympathy.
" What, the school doesn't have a simple enough math program for your incompetent brain?" Mr. Crocker says with annoyance. Some classmates snicker. Timmy closes his eyes and folds his hands.
" I've been working on a creation that will prevent global warming, but its been the only thing on my mind lately."
Mr. Crocker places the quizes on Timmy's desk and reaches for his book again. After a few minutes, he closes the book and grabs the quiz papers.
" Will it be known word-wide?" Mr. Crocker asks. Timmy smiles.
" Obviously," Timmy reassures him. Mr. Crocker mumbles under his breath as he scribbles something onto a quiz paper and shoves it into Timmy's hands.
" I want to see this creation you're working on tomorrow," Mr. Crocker demands. He finishes handing out the quizes as Timmy unfolds the scrunched paper in his hands. A smile spreads across his face as he reads the letter A in bright, red ink.
After school, Timmy finds himself bold enough to follow Trixie home. He follows her across a street and down a foreign avenue that boasts wealth and pride. Expensive cars and frilly gardens surround him and his mouth starts to water at the smell of a barbeque. All of a sudden Trixie stops and turns around, looking him up and down.
" I thought I sensed a stalker," she says with a grin. Timmy smiles and looks apologetic.
" I, uh, It's just that, a really cute guy asked me where you lived, so I decided this was the best way to find out," Timmy apologizes. Trixie's eyes brighten and she walks up to Timmy without a second thought.
" In that case," she says as she drapes her arm around Timmy's shoulder and points with her other hand," I live there, number twenty-six, the one with the big welcome mat. Make sure he knows about the welcome mat."
Timmy pauses with disbelief, then nods happily.
" Perhaps you could introduce me to him tomorrow, then we'll walk home together," she advises. Timmy looks into her eyes dreamily as she takes her arm off his shoulder.
" Meet me tomorrow at the end of the day with the cute guy!" she calls behind her shoulder as she starts to walk off. Timmy subconciously grasps her around the middle and squeezes her affectionately. Trixie glances around awkwardly. He quickly pulls away from her, or rather, she quickly pushes him away. Timmy puts his hands behind his back and blushes.
" Uh...hehe, excess energy in the arms?" he tries to explain. Trixie pats him on the head hesitantly and turns around to head home. After she's gone Timmy leaps joyfully into the air.
" Yes!" he exclaims as he whips an imaginary football to the ground. He touches the place where Trixie had patted him, then closes his eyes with pleasure.
" I shall never wash my hair again"
Timmy enters his home with a high spirit, until he takes in his surroundings.
" Auuugh!" Timmy cries. He slowly backs into the door, ready to leave. The walls, cupboards, and furniture are all covered in mold, obviously out of control.Timmy's parents walk into the kitchen and spot Timmy pressed against the door.
" Oh Timmy! I did it just for you!" His Mom beams as she walks up to him and squeezes him happily.
" Yeah, your Mom and I have dedicated this house to our fungi-rific neighbours! No extinctions happening here!" His Dad explains. Timmy forces a smile and opens the door behind him.
" Going to camp outside, Bye!" Timmy quickly says as he bolts back outside. He sighs and and walks into the backyard looking dreary. Cosmo and Wanda pop up beside him.
"Okay, the mold thing didn't work, but you should have been there when I reasoned with Mr. Crocker!"
Wanda turns into a tent and Cosmo a sleeping bag. Timmy climbs inside and sits down.
" So, what did you say to Mr. Crocker?" Wanda asks with interest.
" I got myself an A by saying, wait, oh no! I need to show Mr. Crocker my global warming creation tomorrow!" Timmy remembers with shock. Cosmo looks puzzled.
" I don't get it"
" What do you mean sweetie?" Wanda says with concern. Timmy jumps to his feet.
" I mean, I told Mr. Crocker that I was working on an invention that could stop global warming!"
Wanda and Cosmo sigh.
" Sorry sport, but I have no idea what something like that would look like," Wanda explains. Timmy looks worried.
" Wait! I've got an idea!" Cosmo beams as he raises his wand. Timmy bites his lip and thinks for a second.
" I guess I've got no other choice. Give me all you've got." POOF!
The next day, Timmy enters the classroom a little less reassured than last time. He seats himself and takes out Wanda and Cosmo, who are erasers.
" I hope this works," Timmy whispers to Cosmo. Mr. Crocker walks into the room and seats himself at his desk, looking pleased.
"Turner, I do believe you wish to show me something," Mr. Crocker announces. Timmy gulps and slides out of his desk, then walks to the door and opens it.
" It's outside," he explains as he leads Mr. Crocker into the hallway. Mr. Crocker follows Timmy into the schoolground and gasps. A huge roll of paper, the length of the school, is towering over the playground.
" Uh, it's a piece of paper...um... big enough to cover the hole in the ozone. A little tape and we could stick it into the atmosphere," Timmy says while tugging on his collar. Cosmo and Wanda pop up beside him as squirrels. Laughter fills the air as Timmy spots his class in the doorway.
" Turner, that would create the next ice age," Mr. Crocker says with displeasure." In! All of you back inside!" he yells at the class. After the class leaves, Mr. Crocker turns to Timmy.
" Don't worry, your disappointment won't last long," Mr. Crocker mumbles. Timmy's eyes lighten up as Mr. Crocker motiones to a muscly man standing at the goalposts. He jogs over and stands beside Mr. Crocker.
" Here's the one I told you about," Mr. Crocker says to the man as he points to Timmy. The man nods seriously.
" The one who didn't think the gym program was tough enough?" the man asnwers. Mr. Crocker smiles.
" That's him. Have fun Turner," He says as he walks back toward the school. Timmy looks sheepishly at the man.
" Heh heh..."
" Twenty laps around the goalposts! Now!" the man booms. Timmy jumps in fright and dashes toward the goalposts. Cosmo and Wanda look at the man angrily. He spots them and frowns. Just the look on his face makes them ease backwards and run up the nearest tree. Timmy starts to pant heavily and gain dizziness after his third lap. He falls to the ground and coughs.
" Hey!" the man yells," If you're on the ground, you're doing push ups!"
Timmy sighs and heaves himself up and down with his arms. Cosmo and Wanda scurry up to him.
" Guys, I wish this man had something better to do," Timmy wheezes. Cosmo and Wanda grant it happily.
A beautiful woman runs up to the man and jumps into his arms.
" Danny, will you marry me?" she asks sweetly. The man blinks happily and looks over at Timmy.
" Tell Crocker I quit!" He announces as he runs off with the woman. Timmy gets up and wipes sweat off his forehead.
" Thanks guys."
The bell rings and kids come pouring out of the school as if being pursued by lions. Timmy looks shocked.
" Oh no!" Timmy cries," I told Trixie that I had a cute guy waiting to meet her!"
Wanda smiles.
" You could always wish Chip Skylark here," Wanda says hopefully. Cosmo frowns.
" No way. I'm not letting you get aquainted with that teen singing sensation again. The look in your eyes had said marry me Chip, marry me!"
Wanda blushes.
" How about Orlando Bloom?" Timmy interupts.
" Okay," Wanda mumbles as she raises her wand. POOF! A handsome young man appears beside Timmy and looks around confusedly .
" No time to explain! Come on!" Timmy rushes him as he pulls Orlando toward the front doors. Trixie is tapping her foot impatiently at the door and looking around for him. Timmy runs up as fast as he can and stops to catch his breath once he gets to her. She brightens up and dashes past Timmy, then leaps into Orlando's arms.
" Will you walk home with me?" Trixie asks sweetly. Orlando blinks in surprise and smiles.
" Sure."
They walk off. Timmy stands there with his mouth open.
" Wait! I thought you said we'd walk home together!" Timmy calls after her. Trixie stops and giggles.
" Silly, I meant we as in him and I," she explains, " And besides, you look as if you haven't washed your hair in two days"
Timmy storms off home. Cosmo and Wanda appear as birds and flap alongside him.
" Boy, I wish I was back to my normal, unreasonable self," Timmy says with disappointment. Cosmo and Wanda raise their wands without hesitation. POOF!
As Timmy approaches the house, he slows down.
" Well, everything is pretty much back to normal except for my parents and the moldy house," Timmy sighs as he opens the door. The mold is everywhere now, covering almost every inch of everything. Timmy's parents are standing in the kitchen, fortunately mold free.
" Mom, Dad, I hate to say this, but mold is disgusting and this is our house, not theirs,"Timmy declares boldly.
" Well of course it's theirs, our house is next door," his Dad explains, " We're just here to feed them, which reminds me, soups on!"
Mom passes him a pot of soup and he dumps it into the living room.
" Come on son, you don't like it when others watch you eat." His parents lead him to the house nextdoor, which is indeed their home, and follow him inside.
" Uh, where's all of our stuff?" Timmy wonders aloud as he glances around their empty home.
" Oh, we donated it to our moldy friends nextdoor," his Dad beams.
" Why?" Timmy asks. His parents glance at eachother, raise their eyebrows, and laugh.
" I guess that was pretty unreasonable!" his Mom giggles.Timmy sighs happily.
" Yeah, but I totally admire you for that," Timmy aknowledges them.
" Good thing," his Dad starts," Because we gave them your bed too." Timmy blinks. Cosmo and Wanda pop up as mice.
" Hey, maybe if we're more unreasonable, Timmy will admire us too," Cosmo advises to Wanda.
" Okay, let's try it!" she says as she raises her wand. Timmy walks upstairs to his room, still boggled by the idea of mold sleeping in his bed, when a smiling pink skateboard appears underfoot. He slips on it and hits every step on his way back downstairs. Cosmo and Wanda pop up beside him.
" How was that for no reason at all whatsoever?," Wanda admits proudly. Timmy sits up with dizziness.
" Wow, if you're not his unreasonable role model now. I don't know who is!" Cosmo congradulates her. Timmy rolls his eyes.
" You guys were already my unreasonable role models"
They all laugh.
The End