Our Bed of Lies
Written By: Fox
Lyrics By: Matchbox 20
Rating: R for adult themes and actions
Pairings: MurakixTsuzuki, TsuzukixHisoka
Notes: One-Shot song fic. Sequel to "Sweet Sex and Candy". I dunno why but my mind thought of this twisted little plot bunny while I was going over the lyrics. Originally it was only going to be a MurakixTsuzuki, but the song seemed to call for a little more. Lyrics are in "...". Point of view is from Hisoka's eyes. /.../ are what Hisoka hears with his empathy.
For: Genki and Marron. My two best fangirls.
"No I would not sleep in this bed of lies
So toss me out and turn in
And there'll be no rest for these tired eyes
I'm marking it down to learning
I am"
You didn't think I'd know did you? But then, how could I not? Those shifty glances away from me whenever his name was mentioned in the office, that nervous pencil drumming on the table... And your thoughts. It's almost like you've forgotten how to shield, or maybe he trained you to forget how to shield... I don't know. It doesn't matter now. All that does matter is that I know what's going on in the bedroom in front of me.
Everyone else will know now too because unlike you, I'm bad at lying.
"I don't think that I can take another empty moment
I don't think that I can fake another hollow smile
It's not enough just to be lonely
I don't think that I could take another talk about it"
People at work have been cornering me about this sort of thing. Did you know that Tatsumi even asked... no begged me to scan you. He said it wouldn't matter so much if I did it because you and I had been a couple for almost a year now. He's so damn foolish.
I had already scanned your heart the first time you flinched as you sat on our bed almost half a year ago.
"Just like me you got needs
And they're only
A whisper away and we softly surrender
To these lives that we've tendered away"
Now here I stand, snow softly falling around me as I look in his window. You're laying flat on your back, your knees propped up on his shoulders, his cock pushing into you. You look so heart breakingly beautiful with that blush on your face and gasping his name. You feel so happy, so deeply in bliss that it almost drowns me because I feel both of your pleasure even through the stone walls and the thick glass of the window and thick fabric of the curtains.
No I can't physically see you two... but you two are sending so many images in your lust filled minds for me to see with my empathy. You're not even concerned about me Tsuzuki. Your mind is fixed on him and how hard he's pushing into you. He's making you bleed, and you both know it, and it makes it so much more pleasurable for you.
"But I would not sleep in this bed of lies
So toss me out and turn in
And there'll be no rest for these tired eyes
I'm marking it down to learning
I'm marking it down to learning
'Cause I am"
I clench my chest over my heart as I close my eyes and fully open myself to you, to him, to all of this place. I need to know the truth. I need the why's and the how's.... Things you'd never given me. Things I never expected you to give to me.
I'm suddenly flooded, my mind lost in memory and want. I find my answers much easier than I thought I would.
/Yesmakemebleed. Bleedmedry. Bleedmethewayheneverletsmemakehimbleed. Hurtme. Hurtmelikeonlyyourgrandfathercoulddo./
"I don't wanna be the one who turns the whole thing over
I don't wanna be somewhere where I just don't belong
Where it's not enough just to be sorry
Don't you know I feel the darkness closing in?"
As those words sink in I close myself off, shielding myself from him and you. From your bodies pressing.
If you just wanted some blood, you could have asked. You've never asked me for anything more than what we did. You used to call it beautiful and thank me for not being so afraid.
"I tried to be more than me
And I gave until it all went away
And we've only surrendered
To the worst part of these winters that we've made"
Idiot. I was afraid. Every time you touched me you did it exactly the way he did. I was scared out of my fucking mind. But I let you do it, and I touched you back, and you made it seem less crass. With you it didn't feel so damn base.
But now... seeing this... hearing this....
I don't want it ever again.
"No I would not sleep in this bed of lies
So toss me out and turn in
And there'll be no rest for these tired eyes
I'm marking it down to learning
Yeah I'm marking it down to learning"
I turn away and rub fiercly at my eyes before shoving my hands in my pockets and start walking. I don't need to be here. I'm not wanted, nor am I needed. I try to hate him. All of my heart is bent on hating him, but I can't.
I've given up on him completely.
"I am all that I'll ever be
When you lay your hands over me but
Don't go weak on me please
I know that it's weak
But God help me I need this"
Suddenly my body feels super hot and I look down to see the curse that your new lover put on me is starting to fade away. it flecks off in small sparkles and only my skin is left. Unmarred, completely normal. I then hear a small voice. It says the tinest phrase, but that phrase makes me feel so empty.
It's time.
"I will not sleep in this bed of lies
So toss me out and turn in
And there'll be no rest for these tired eyes
I'm marking it down to learning
I'm marking it down to learning
'Cause I am"
I take a final glance back and wish you and Muraki the best. I pray he doesn't hurt you the way he hurt me, that you can finally be yourself with him since you couldn't with me.
I love you, Tsuzuki.
Written By: Fox
Lyrics By: Matchbox 20
Rating: R for adult themes and actions
Pairings: MurakixTsuzuki, TsuzukixHisoka
Notes: One-Shot song fic. Sequel to "Sweet Sex and Candy". I dunno why but my mind thought of this twisted little plot bunny while I was going over the lyrics. Originally it was only going to be a MurakixTsuzuki, but the song seemed to call for a little more. Lyrics are in "...". Point of view is from Hisoka's eyes. /.../ are what Hisoka hears with his empathy.
For: Genki and Marron. My two best fangirls.
"No I would not sleep in this bed of lies
So toss me out and turn in
And there'll be no rest for these tired eyes
I'm marking it down to learning
I am"
You didn't think I'd know did you? But then, how could I not? Those shifty glances away from me whenever his name was mentioned in the office, that nervous pencil drumming on the table... And your thoughts. It's almost like you've forgotten how to shield, or maybe he trained you to forget how to shield... I don't know. It doesn't matter now. All that does matter is that I know what's going on in the bedroom in front of me.
Everyone else will know now too because unlike you, I'm bad at lying.
"I don't think that I can take another empty moment
I don't think that I can fake another hollow smile
It's not enough just to be lonely
I don't think that I could take another talk about it"
People at work have been cornering me about this sort of thing. Did you know that Tatsumi even asked... no begged me to scan you. He said it wouldn't matter so much if I did it because you and I had been a couple for almost a year now. He's so damn foolish.
I had already scanned your heart the first time you flinched as you sat on our bed almost half a year ago.
"Just like me you got needs
And they're only
A whisper away and we softly surrender
To these lives that we've tendered away"
Now here I stand, snow softly falling around me as I look in his window. You're laying flat on your back, your knees propped up on his shoulders, his cock pushing into you. You look so heart breakingly beautiful with that blush on your face and gasping his name. You feel so happy, so deeply in bliss that it almost drowns me because I feel both of your pleasure even through the stone walls and the thick glass of the window and thick fabric of the curtains.
No I can't physically see you two... but you two are sending so many images in your lust filled minds for me to see with my empathy. You're not even concerned about me Tsuzuki. Your mind is fixed on him and how hard he's pushing into you. He's making you bleed, and you both know it, and it makes it so much more pleasurable for you.
"But I would not sleep in this bed of lies
So toss me out and turn in
And there'll be no rest for these tired eyes
I'm marking it down to learning
I'm marking it down to learning
'Cause I am"
I clench my chest over my heart as I close my eyes and fully open myself to you, to him, to all of this place. I need to know the truth. I need the why's and the how's.... Things you'd never given me. Things I never expected you to give to me.
I'm suddenly flooded, my mind lost in memory and want. I find my answers much easier than I thought I would.
/Yesmakemebleed. Bleedmedry. Bleedmethewayheneverletsmemakehimbleed. Hurtme. Hurtmelikeonlyyourgrandfathercoulddo./
"I don't wanna be the one who turns the whole thing over
I don't wanna be somewhere where I just don't belong
Where it's not enough just to be sorry
Don't you know I feel the darkness closing in?"
As those words sink in I close myself off, shielding myself from him and you. From your bodies pressing.
If you just wanted some blood, you could have asked. You've never asked me for anything more than what we did. You used to call it beautiful and thank me for not being so afraid.
"I tried to be more than me
And I gave until it all went away
And we've only surrendered
To the worst part of these winters that we've made"
Idiot. I was afraid. Every time you touched me you did it exactly the way he did. I was scared out of my fucking mind. But I let you do it, and I touched you back, and you made it seem less crass. With you it didn't feel so damn base.
But now... seeing this... hearing this....
I don't want it ever again.
"No I would not sleep in this bed of lies
So toss me out and turn in
And there'll be no rest for these tired eyes
I'm marking it down to learning
Yeah I'm marking it down to learning"
I turn away and rub fiercly at my eyes before shoving my hands in my pockets and start walking. I don't need to be here. I'm not wanted, nor am I needed. I try to hate him. All of my heart is bent on hating him, but I can't.
I've given up on him completely.
"I am all that I'll ever be
When you lay your hands over me but
Don't go weak on me please
I know that it's weak
But God help me I need this"
Suddenly my body feels super hot and I look down to see the curse that your new lover put on me is starting to fade away. it flecks off in small sparkles and only my skin is left. Unmarred, completely normal. I then hear a small voice. It says the tinest phrase, but that phrase makes me feel so empty.
It's time.
"I will not sleep in this bed of lies
So toss me out and turn in
And there'll be no rest for these tired eyes
I'm marking it down to learning
I'm marking it down to learning
'Cause I am"
I take a final glance back and wish you and Muraki the best. I pray he doesn't hurt you the way he hurt me, that you can finally be yourself with him since you couldn't with me.
I love you, Tsuzuki.