A/N: I'm sorry it took me so long! Please don't kill me! I have many more
brilliant ideas to come.
Thanks to Ultimate Creed Fan, tigress12, Lissie89, Lily of the Shadow, Mary Snape, Angelica, Draco-Malfoy-Severus-Luva, HIEIotsause, Snapecharmer, AngelicPyro, GreekGoddess1, Madam Arianna, midniteblusoccer, s, GypsyGirl, Velvet3, coolcat411, ckat44, La Pamplemousse, Kyra Invictus Black, niffler86, Penny S. P, Lady of the Loch, and Potter-luvver for the wonderful reviews! Please forgive me if I've forgotten someone...
All of you made my last couple of weeks absolutely wonderful. The reviews really helped me to not feel discouraged; especially when the homework got piled on extra high.
~MESSAGES~
Ultimate Creed Fan: Thank you for adding me to your favorites!
Mary Snape: I hate being mean to beloved Sevvie, but I don't have much choice here! Don't worry, though. He starts getting back at Hermione slightly. Starting with this chapter, actually. I'm sorry to say but this story's rating isn't going to rise above PG. Even though I am a bit of an SS/HG shipper, I'm not really aiming for them to wind up together in the end of this story. There is a lot of tension between the two, so hopefully that makes up for it!
HIEIotsause: Thank you very much for the suggestion. I may be able to fit it into the story, but then again I may not. Do I have your permission to use that idea if I can?
Snapecharmer: Thank you for that amazing review. I also thought about having angels sing whenever the light appeared, but I really wanted him to sing with the light still over his head. I had to make a sacrifice somewhere...Thanks again!
GreekGoddess1: You nearly woke your husband? Hehe, I'm sorry. Hermione is set on revenge because Snape wrote a very long and nasty comment on her essay in chapter one. I never wrote what he said, but I could tell you if you really want to know.
midniteblusoccer: I'm sorry if I didn't get this posted before you left on vacation. Hopefully you'll enjoy it all the more when you get back!
GypsyGirl: Heart attack, huh? HAHA! I'm sure she looked at you like you were crazy when you told her you were reading a Fan Fic story. You and I must think alike because I also thought about turning him into a kid. In fact...Well, just read the chapter and you'll see what I mean. ;)
Draco-Malfoy-Severus-Luva: School hasn't started for you yet?! Lucky!
ckat44: Thanks for adding me to your favorites!
La Pamplemousse: Thanks for adding me to your favorites!
Lady of the Loch: Me? Pull stunts on my teachers?! :) Yeah right! I'm not brave enough to do that. I'm one of those goody two-shoes girls who most people hate throughout all of high school. That gives me something to fantasize about, though. I could just see me putting my dirty gym socks in my Gym teacher's car. Hehe, he wouldn't be able to get rid of the smell for a month! Then he can go through what the entire class goes through whenever we walk into the locker room. Yeah, it's that bad...
Potter-luvver: I will e-mail you to let you know whenever I update the story from now on, not just for this chapter, if that's what you want. Please let me know! If anyone else wants me to do that for them as well, I will be glad to. Just let me know!
Disclaimer: I own nothing; J. K. Rowling owns everything. So what's new? I also don't own the "Rubber Ducky" song. I lay claim to only two things: the plot and all the evil things Hermione does to Snape. Please ask permission first before using any of these things for your own story!
Big hug to my beta, Lissie! Isn't she the best?
**************
Chapter 5-'Phase Four'
Hermione was very careful to keep her head down for the next month because Snape was on the war path. Hermione got blamed for every little thing that went wrong. She had already spent three more detentions with Snape since 'putting him in the limelight,' so to speak. The detentions had been spent with Snape on one side of his desk and Hermione on the other, staring at each other for an hour before Snape would tell her to leave. Once, Hermione had felt brave enough to wink at him. He had nearly exploded. Hermione still laughed at the memory of Snape's face growing red and his eyes bulging before shouting at her to get out immediately. Even with the memory of the detention still fresh in her mind, she hungered for a more public form of defiance. She knew exactly what she wanted to do, too. In fact, the potion was ready (it would be too risky to use a spell on him right then). It would have to work overnight, so it had to be added to his drink at dinner. The potion would probably make his drink taste a little tart but that shouldn't be a problem. It was Halloween, after all. Pretty much everyone would be drinking cider. As Hermione flew past classroom doors, she thought about the potion. According to the research she did, it would be a little painful for Snape to go through. He was in for a rough night.
Hermione skidded to a halt outside the Great Hall doors just as the food appeared. She had been delayed by McGonagall and had almost missed the perfect opportunity. Hermione threw a quick glance at the head table before taking her usual seat. She watched as Harry and Ron wolfed down every pastry within reach but barely touched anything herself. Snape had not taken even a sip of his cider, and the meal was nearly over. Hermione breathed a huge sigh of relief when Snape downed his cider in one gulp at the end of the meal. Snape looked at Hermione just before he reached the Great Hall doors. She quickly averted her eyes, but she couldn't contain the smile of pure glee. Snape's step faltered when he spotted the grin. He cursed his long robe somewhere in the back of his mind, but the rest of his thoughts were occupied with the triumphant smile. Snape felt a little worried suddenly. What in the world had she done now? And how could he prove it was her?
~
Severus slept horribly that night. Every time he closed his eyes he saw that Granger girl grinning broadly, and when he did manage to drift off to sleep he woke up drenched in sweat and shaking. If he wasn't any better come morning then he would go see Poppy. Maybe she would have a potion that would help the pounding in his head. When streaming rays of sun penetrated his curtains and found their way to his eyelids, however, he felt remarkably better. The pounding had subsided, and he was no longer sweating profusely, but his vision was a little blurry. That happens a lot when one wakes up from sleep, but this seemed different somehow. Snape threw the covers off of himself and sat up. He threw his legs over the edge of the bed and began rubbing at his eyes, but everything remained blurry. Severus stood up and stretched out his arms, trying to feel his way toward the bathroom. His side came in contact with the night stand, and Snape let out a hiss of pain. It didn't register in his mind that the night stand usually wasn't tall enough to reach his side. It barely came to his thigh as it was.
Snape finally reached the bathroom. He turned automatically toward the mirror above the sink, but he couldn't see the imagine staring back. He turned the water on and splashed several hand fulls onto his face, rubbing again at his eyes. They finally cleared, and Snape looked down at his hands. They were different. The long, elegant fingers were shorter, the palms paler and not quite as calloused. Snape's mouth fell open. 'No,' he thought. 'It couldn't be...' He slowly raised his gaze to the mirror. Staring back were the same black orbs and the long black hair but the face was younger and fuller. It was the face of a youth. Severus Snape started at himself (his much younger self) for another minute before he passed out and fell, hitting the floor hard.
~
"Did you hear about Professor Snape?" one girl asked another.
"Snape? No. What about him?"
"I'm not sure. I heard Madam Pomfrey and Professor Dumbledore talking about him as I walked by the Infirmary this morning."
Hermione sat up, her back ramrod straight, and listened intently to the two girls conversing behind the bookcase.
"What did they say?" the other one asked, sounding excited.
"Not much. Dumbledore asked Pomfrey if Snape was doing any better or acting any calmer. Something like that...Anyway, I don't think it was too serious because Dumbledore was smiling. In fact, I think he was on the verge of laughing." The other girl looked pensive for a moment.
"What did Madam Pomfrey say to that?" The other girl shrugged.
"I don't know. I was walking too quickly to hear her response." Both girls then shrugged at each other.
"Did you finish that essay on snap crabs?" Hermione immediately blocked out the rest of their conversation. She smiled to herself as she thought about what Dumbledore's reaction must have been like. Not to mention Snape's. Oh, to have been there! Even though Snape had been acting like Hermione wasn't getting to him, what she had done this time was guaranteed to get some kind of reaction. It was apparently working, too. Hermione pictured in her mind the fit Snape must have thrown. That would explain why Dumbledore had asked if Snape was any calmer. That also explained why the DADA professor had taught the potion classes for the entire day. The potion Snape drank was going to last for at least a week, so he couldn't hide forever. She would see her handiwork eventually. How sweet that would be! Smiling broadly, Hermione threw her books into her bag and practically skipped out of the library, heading toward the common room.
~
"Headmaster," Snape squeaked, "please allow me to remain in the Infirmary for today." Dumbledore looked like he was trying very hard not to smile. Snape ground his teeth together as he waited for the older man's answer.
"I'm afraid, Severus, that you'll have to return to your teaching duties today." Snape felt horror struck.
"Like this?!" he shrieked, gesturing at himself. This time, Dumbledore failed at controlling the grin.
"Regretfully, yes. There is nothing more Poppy can do for you. It will wear off eventually." Snape looked across the room at the full length mirror he was facing. It was himself, only much younger. According to Poppy, Severus Snape was again thirteen-years-old. He recalled the first time he was thirteen, and he sneered at the mirror. Thirteen had been a horrible age. Snape had gone through puberty and all the things that accompanied it. His voice cracked constantly, his hair remained greasy, and it seemed like the pimples never went away. Worse than that, it took forever for him to get a growth spurt (to be exact, he had been and was now slightly over 5'2"). At thirteen, Snape had been a short, greasy-haired, pimply-faced, kid with a high pitched voice. He was not eager to relive that experience, especially since he was now a professor. Who ever heard of a professor who was shorter than everyone else? Feeling defeated, Snape sank onto a cot and put his head in his hands.
"Yes, Headmaster," he mumbled. Dumbledore's grin broadened. "Very good. I believe breakfast starts in a few minutes. Shall we?"
"Breakfast?!" Snape shouted, jumping to his feet. "I will teach my classes, Headmaster, but might I be allowed to eat in my classroom?"
"Very well," Dumbledore said, moving toward the door. "I will have a house elf bring you your meals. Good day, Severus."
"Thank you, Headmaster," Snape said as the door closed behind Dumbledore.
"Poppy," Snape whined when the Nurse came bustling out of her office, "are you sure there's nothing else that can be done?"
"I'm afraid not," she replied, almost failing (like Dumbledore) to control her smile, "but it should wear off soon enough." Snape sighed dramatically as he walked toward the fireplace. He flooed directly to his office. Snape stepped out of his own fireplace and sat down in the closet chair. He replayed the scene from the Infirmary in his mind. 'What's wrong with me?' he asked himself. 'I'm even beginning to act like a whiney teenager!' Snape stood up, cleared his throat importantly, tugged downward on the robes Dumbledore had conjured to fit his smaller frame, and strode into his classroom. These robes didn't billow outward like his others, but they would do for now. Snape sat down behind his desk and steepled his fingers before him. He began plotting exactly what he would do to the first smart mouth foolish enough to comment on his current condition.
~
"Where is he?" Hermione watched as Ron leaned over to whisper to Harry.
"I don't know, Ron. Maybe he's not teaching his classes again today."
"Yes, he is. Did you not hear the other students talking about him when they walked past us?" Harry shrugged.
"No, I didn't." Ron was about to say something else when the classroom door opened. The entire class turned around to look at Snape. Instead of seeing the tall, foreboding Potion's Master, what they did see was a very short kid with black hair hanging just below his ears. His face was slightly chubby with unshed baby fat and a hooked nose dominated his features. Hermione immediately put both hands to her mouth as she tried to laugh as quietly as possible. She wasn't sure how young the potion had turned him (since he was so small). It didn't really matter how old he was; he looked absolutely hilarious standing there in the door of the classroom, staring at everyone in turn. Hermione knew that he was trying to be intimidating, but it wasn't working. A few other people were laughing quietly like herself and the rest of them were biting their bottom lips.
"If I hear any talking whatsoever," Snape said in a slightly high voice, "the entire class will have a month's worth of detentions." He walked to stand in front of the classroom, continuing to watch everyone. This made it difficult to hide the laughter. Hermione thanked her lucky starts that she was sitting behind Harry because he was effectively hiding her from Snape's piercing gaze. She was still laughing hard into her hands.
"You know what to do," Snape said, waving his wand at the board. Hermione took a deep, calming breath as she stood to begin the assignment. She almost lost it when she saw how tall everyone was compared to the professor. Snape was by far the shortest person in the room. Even Hermione stood several inches above him! Instead of sitting like he usually did, Snape remained standing, puffing out his chest to make him look bigger, and he watched as the students gathered the needed ingredients from the cupboard. Hermione was careful to not meet his eyes as she walked past. His usual scowl was in place, but the baby cheeks took away the ferocity of the glare. The rest of class went by pretty uneventfully. Snape made a huge mistake, however, when he began lecturing one student on the thickness of his potion.
"Did you not pay any attention to the instructions, Mr. Raul? Did they not say SPECIFICALLY to add three unicorn tears AFTER stirring it clockwise?! Is that or is that not the reason your potion now looks like this?" Snape asked, using a ladle to scoop some of the potion and letting it splash back into the cauldron. Snape continued this lecture for ten minutes. It was very odd for him to waste his breath like this, but Hermione guessed that he was doing it to make a point. It wasn't working, though. It looked way too funny to see Snape (barely over five feet tall) leaning back to yell up at one of his students instead of down. This wasn't too bad, though. Everyone made sure that Snape couldn't see them laughing. It became too much, however, when Snape's voice cracked toward the end of his lecture. The giggling got only slightly more pronounced at first, but it didn't take long before the entire class was rolling on the floor laughing their guts out. Snape stood in the middle of the room, fists clenched at his sides, looking like the angry teenager he was. His voice shook as he said, "Quit laughing and get back to work." This only spurred the class to laugh harder. "That's it!" he yelled. "I've had it. Everyone in this room will be spending a month in detention with the teacher I choose!" This got everyone's attention. The laughter died away suddenly, leaving the room sounding dead and empty. Slowly, everyone stood, looking sheepishly at the livid Potion's Professor. Snape took a deep breath and unclenched his fists. "Get back to work," he said. The childish voice echoed in the silent room. Without talking, the students went back to their cauldrons and continued the assignment. Snape stalked to his desk and sat down in the chair with some difficulty, since the chair was so tall and teenage Snape was so short. Once he was seated in the chair, he grabbed the edge of the desk and pulled so he slid under it. This hid the fact that his legs dangled several inches above the ground. Under normal circumstances Hermione would have found this all very funny, but she suddenly felt sick to her stomach. She knew what was coming, but when would he tell her? Hermione's heart pounded hard in her chest throughout the rest of class. She wasn't surprised when Snape called for her to remain behind at the end of the lesson. She approached his desk while trying to get her heart to slow down.
"You will spend your detention with me, Miss Granger," he announced, not looking at her. This is what Hermione had known was coming.
"Yes sir," she said.
"Very well. Dismissed." Hermione turned and walked from the room, lost in thought. Seeing Snape like that was very funny, but it wasn't enough. She would wait until this potion wore off, of course, before she did anything else, but she was going to do something else to him very soon. Very soon indeed...Until then, Hermione was going to fully enjoy the fact that Snape was now thirteen-years-old. Especially since the potion would make him go through puberty faster than what was normal because it would only last a week. By tomorrow, his face would have a few pimples and his hair would be terribly greasy. His voice would continue to change as well, cracking more often and such. It was sure to make his lectures interesting, at least. Hermione smiled and her step lightened. 'Things are still going very well,' she thought.
~
Snape's eyes snapped opened and he blinked rapidly in the sunlight. Then the memories from yesterday flooded his mind and Snape groaned. Then a thought hit him. Maybe...He looked down at himself. 'No!' he thought. He was still thirteen. How long was he to remain like this? Sighing loudly, he threw the covers off himself and headed to the bathroom. Snape walked past the mirror, stopped, and walked backwards. His mouth fell open as he stared at his image. Was that...? No, it couldn't be! Severus leaned closer to the mirror to get a better look. 'Oh my...' he thought. There was a very large, very red pimple on the end of his crooked nose. Then Snape saw his hair. He cringed as he ran his fingers through it. It was extremely greasy, sticking to his head like a helmet. Contrary to popular belief, Snape's hair was never greasy. He, in fact, washed it every single day. It just looked like it was for some reason.
Snape took one more look at himself before running to his tub and filling it up with hot water. He got in as soon as it was ready and scrubbed his hair throughly. There was nothing he could do about the pimple, though. 'How humiliating,' he thought. He hadn't had a pimple in over thirty years. Then an idea hit Snape. A wonderfully evil idea. An idea so good that it dug in its claws and wouldn't let go. Severus began smiling as he went over what he was going to do in his head. Once he had it all worked out in his mind, Snape began singing as he worked the conditioner into his scalp. In a loud voice, he sang:
"Rubber ducky, you're the one!
You make bath time lots of fun!
Rubber ducky, I'm awfully
Fond of you!"
Snape eyed the rubber duck sitting on the side of the tub. He smiled at it lovingly before repeating the verse:
"Rubber ducky, you're the one!
You make bath time lots of fun!
Rubber ducky, I'm awfully
Fond of you!"
~
"What did the letter say again, Harry?" Hermione asked suspiciously, running slightly to keep up with Harry's and Ron's fast pace. "It just said," Harry began, "that the Slytherin Quidditch team wants to play us in a mock game."
"But why, though?" Hermione asked, worrying her bottom lip.
"We don't know, Hermione," Ron said, also sounding slightly worried.
"It is odd," said Harry. "I mean, they've never done anything like this before. Why now?"
"I think they're plotting something," said Hermione.
"They're Slytherin, 'Mione," Ron said. "Aren't they always up to something?" Hermione, however, didn't respond. She continued to worry her lip as she thought about the Slytherin Quidditch team. What in the world could they possibly be up to? The trio got the shock of their lives when they finally made it to the Quidditch pitch. There was the entire Quidditch team, hovering slightly above the ground on their brooms. This, however, didn't surprise the group. What absolutely floored them was the sight of Professor Snape hovering on his own broom a little ways in front of the other Slytherins. All three of them paled as they stared openly at the Potion's Master, none of them saying anything. Snape watched them for a moment, grinning broadly. Then he looked above their heads. Hermione knew, without turning around, that the rest of the Gryffindor Quidditch team was walking out to meet them. Harry was the first to regain his composure once the rest of the team came to a stop around him.
He closed his mouth, cleared his throat, and asked, "What's going on?" Snape smirked at him.
"Did you not get the letter, Mr. Potter?"
"Yes, I got it," Harry responded. Snape raised his eyebrows at him.
"I would've thought it was pretty self-explanatory." The Slytherin team laughed at this. Harry's face grew red.
"It obviously was not. What are you doing here?" Snape narrowed his eyes at Harry.
"As a professor at Hogwarts and Heard of Slytherin House, I can be anywhere I want at any time I choose without having to explain myself to nosy students." More laughter from the Slytherins. Hermione stepped forward, standing in front of Harry and bringing herself eye to eye with the teen Snape.
"The letter said that the Slytherin team challenges the Gryffindor team to a mock game of Quidditch. Last time I checked, Professor, you were not part of the Slytherin Quidditch team." The Quidditch pitch became so quiet that instead of hearing the proverbial pen drop, you could have heard the dust bunnies breathing.
Snape leaned toward Hermione and whispered dangerously, "I believe that I just informed Mr. Potter of my reasons for being here. In case you are hard of hearing, I will repeat myself. As a professor at Hogwarts I can be anywhere I want at the time of my choosing. I don't need permission from one of my pupils. Is that understood?" Hermione just glared at the boy before her. Snape leaned in closer, practically putting them nose to nose.
"Is that understood, Miss Granger?"
"Yes sir," Hermione said between gritted teeth. Snape smirked at her before leaning back.
"Into the air, all of you," he said, gesturing upward. The entire Quidditch team took off, except for one boy. After getting a closer look, Hermione realized that it was their usual Seeker. 'But that must mean...' she thought, her mouth falling open with understanding. Snape? A Seeker? No way! She had never heard ANYTHING about Snape playing Seeker the entire time he attended Hogwarts. Hermione watched as the regular Slytherin Seeker flew to the middle of the pitch. He reached down into the trunk at his feet and pulled out the Quaffle. Since Harry had his broom with him, he was able to take off right away. Once the rest of the team returned from the locker room with their brooms, they took off as well. Hermione held onto to Ron for a moment so she could speak with him.
"Ron, I believe Snape is going to play Seeker."
"Well, he can't be any better than Harry," Ron said.
"I'm not so sure about that..."
"He looks like he has a third eye growing on the end of his nose. How good can he be?" Ron asked as he mounted his broom and took to the sky.
"But that's not the point!" Hermione yelled. No one heard her, though. They were too focused on what was to take place before them. A whistle sounded somewhere, the Quaffle was released, and the match began. Hermione couldn't believe how fast Snape was! He was a blur as soon as the whistle sounded. When Slytherin was up by fifty points, Snape began dancing circles around Harry and his broom, practically daring poor Harry to do something about it. The rest of the Gryffindor team watched Snape with the upmost loathing as he whipped around and around Harry, laughing his head off. The distraction allowed Slytherin to score three more times. When Hermione saw that this made Snape laugh even harder, she mentally went over the ingredients of the potion, wondering if she accidently put in something that would make Snape go mad. The only good thing about the match was that both Harry and Snape had spotted the Snitch at the same time. Snape, however, had managed to get his grubby fingers around it a second before Harry's hand waved wildly at the spot it had been a moment before. This didn't dampen Snape's mood in the lightest because he knew that even if Harry had gotten the Snitch, Slytherin would have still won. Snape grinned mockingly at the Gryffindor team when everyone landed.
"Good game," he said to the Slytherin team, looking up at them proudly. Then his gaze turned toward the Gryffindors.
In a voice that sounded eerily like Malfoy, Snape said, "Better luck next time." His gaze went from Harry to Hermione. Snape then twirled his broom in one hand, set it on his shoulder, and began to whistle as he walked toward the castle. Hermione, Harry, and Ron, extremely wide-eyed, watched Snape's retreating back.
"Room of Requirement. Now," Hermione commanded, following Snape's steps to the castle.
"I'll be right there," Ron said, walking toward the locker room instead to put his broom away. Once in the Room of Requirement, all three of them paced around and around the table in the middle of the room, thinking hard. Harry was the one to break the silence.
"What the heck was that about?" he asked.
"I have no idea," Ron said, continuing to pace.
"Why would he do that?" Hermione whispered. "What was the point?" Harry thought about that for a moment.
"To show us up," he said.
"Yes," Hermione whispered, "yes..." Ron stopped pacing suddenly. He turned to face 'Mione.
"This was your brilliant idea! Why do you think he did it?"
"I don't know why he did it," Hermione wailed, "but I definitely didn't mean for him to have fun when I put the potion in his drink."
"Well, that's exactly what he's doing, Hermione," Harry said. "He sure looked like he was enjoying himself tonight, anyway." Ron smiled suddenly.
"That huge zit on his nose was pretty funny, though." Harry smiled, too. Then they both began to laugh. Neither one noticed Hermione stop her pacing. "The zit..." she whispered. Then she snapped her fingers, drawing both Harry's and Ron's attention back onto herself. "That's why he did it!" Hermione shrieked.
"What? Why, then?" Ron asked.
"The zit! I bet you anything he felt humiliated. Especially since Dumbledore wouldn't allow him to give the entire class that much detention time at once. Tonight was some form of retaliation." Hermione began pacing again. "Oh, you're very good, Professor Snape. Very good indeed..." Then she stopped moving. "We have to get back at him, boys. As soon at the potion wears off, and he's back to his normal self, we're going to do something that he couldn't possibly enjoy." Harry and Ron looked at each other, but instead of protesting like they usually did, they both smiled.
"So," Harry asked, "what are we going to do?"
**************
Please review and let me know what you think!
For anyone who reviewed at the author's note that was chapter five for a few days: These are just suggestions, but if you want to review for the real chapter five (it would be greatly appreciated!), you could either go back and review for chapter four or e-mail me with your comments. You can find my e-mail address in my bio. Thank you so much!
BTW, I am, again, so sorry this chapter took so long to write! I don't think homework should be allowed for at least the first month of school. I already know what I want to do in chapter six, so I'm hoping it won't take me nearly as long to write.
Thanks to Ultimate Creed Fan, tigress12, Lissie89, Lily of the Shadow, Mary Snape, Angelica, Draco-Malfoy-Severus-Luva, HIEIotsause, Snapecharmer, AngelicPyro, GreekGoddess1, Madam Arianna, midniteblusoccer, s, GypsyGirl, Velvet3, coolcat411, ckat44, La Pamplemousse, Kyra Invictus Black, niffler86, Penny S. P, Lady of the Loch, and Potter-luvver for the wonderful reviews! Please forgive me if I've forgotten someone...
All of you made my last couple of weeks absolutely wonderful. The reviews really helped me to not feel discouraged; especially when the homework got piled on extra high.
~MESSAGES~
Ultimate Creed Fan: Thank you for adding me to your favorites!
Mary Snape: I hate being mean to beloved Sevvie, but I don't have much choice here! Don't worry, though. He starts getting back at Hermione slightly. Starting with this chapter, actually. I'm sorry to say but this story's rating isn't going to rise above PG. Even though I am a bit of an SS/HG shipper, I'm not really aiming for them to wind up together in the end of this story. There is a lot of tension between the two, so hopefully that makes up for it!
HIEIotsause: Thank you very much for the suggestion. I may be able to fit it into the story, but then again I may not. Do I have your permission to use that idea if I can?
Snapecharmer: Thank you for that amazing review. I also thought about having angels sing whenever the light appeared, but I really wanted him to sing with the light still over his head. I had to make a sacrifice somewhere...Thanks again!
GreekGoddess1: You nearly woke your husband? Hehe, I'm sorry. Hermione is set on revenge because Snape wrote a very long and nasty comment on her essay in chapter one. I never wrote what he said, but I could tell you if you really want to know.
midniteblusoccer: I'm sorry if I didn't get this posted before you left on vacation. Hopefully you'll enjoy it all the more when you get back!
GypsyGirl: Heart attack, huh? HAHA! I'm sure she looked at you like you were crazy when you told her you were reading a Fan Fic story. You and I must think alike because I also thought about turning him into a kid. In fact...Well, just read the chapter and you'll see what I mean. ;)
Draco-Malfoy-Severus-Luva: School hasn't started for you yet?! Lucky!
ckat44: Thanks for adding me to your favorites!
La Pamplemousse: Thanks for adding me to your favorites!
Lady of the Loch: Me? Pull stunts on my teachers?! :) Yeah right! I'm not brave enough to do that. I'm one of those goody two-shoes girls who most people hate throughout all of high school. That gives me something to fantasize about, though. I could just see me putting my dirty gym socks in my Gym teacher's car. Hehe, he wouldn't be able to get rid of the smell for a month! Then he can go through what the entire class goes through whenever we walk into the locker room. Yeah, it's that bad...
Potter-luvver: I will e-mail you to let you know whenever I update the story from now on, not just for this chapter, if that's what you want. Please let me know! If anyone else wants me to do that for them as well, I will be glad to. Just let me know!
Disclaimer: I own nothing; J. K. Rowling owns everything. So what's new? I also don't own the "Rubber Ducky" song. I lay claim to only two things: the plot and all the evil things Hermione does to Snape. Please ask permission first before using any of these things for your own story!
Big hug to my beta, Lissie! Isn't she the best?
**************
Chapter 5-'Phase Four'
Hermione was very careful to keep her head down for the next month because Snape was on the war path. Hermione got blamed for every little thing that went wrong. She had already spent three more detentions with Snape since 'putting him in the limelight,' so to speak. The detentions had been spent with Snape on one side of his desk and Hermione on the other, staring at each other for an hour before Snape would tell her to leave. Once, Hermione had felt brave enough to wink at him. He had nearly exploded. Hermione still laughed at the memory of Snape's face growing red and his eyes bulging before shouting at her to get out immediately. Even with the memory of the detention still fresh in her mind, she hungered for a more public form of defiance. She knew exactly what she wanted to do, too. In fact, the potion was ready (it would be too risky to use a spell on him right then). It would have to work overnight, so it had to be added to his drink at dinner. The potion would probably make his drink taste a little tart but that shouldn't be a problem. It was Halloween, after all. Pretty much everyone would be drinking cider. As Hermione flew past classroom doors, she thought about the potion. According to the research she did, it would be a little painful for Snape to go through. He was in for a rough night.
Hermione skidded to a halt outside the Great Hall doors just as the food appeared. She had been delayed by McGonagall and had almost missed the perfect opportunity. Hermione threw a quick glance at the head table before taking her usual seat. She watched as Harry and Ron wolfed down every pastry within reach but barely touched anything herself. Snape had not taken even a sip of his cider, and the meal was nearly over. Hermione breathed a huge sigh of relief when Snape downed his cider in one gulp at the end of the meal. Snape looked at Hermione just before he reached the Great Hall doors. She quickly averted her eyes, but she couldn't contain the smile of pure glee. Snape's step faltered when he spotted the grin. He cursed his long robe somewhere in the back of his mind, but the rest of his thoughts were occupied with the triumphant smile. Snape felt a little worried suddenly. What in the world had she done now? And how could he prove it was her?
~
Severus slept horribly that night. Every time he closed his eyes he saw that Granger girl grinning broadly, and when he did manage to drift off to sleep he woke up drenched in sweat and shaking. If he wasn't any better come morning then he would go see Poppy. Maybe she would have a potion that would help the pounding in his head. When streaming rays of sun penetrated his curtains and found their way to his eyelids, however, he felt remarkably better. The pounding had subsided, and he was no longer sweating profusely, but his vision was a little blurry. That happens a lot when one wakes up from sleep, but this seemed different somehow. Snape threw the covers off of himself and sat up. He threw his legs over the edge of the bed and began rubbing at his eyes, but everything remained blurry. Severus stood up and stretched out his arms, trying to feel his way toward the bathroom. His side came in contact with the night stand, and Snape let out a hiss of pain. It didn't register in his mind that the night stand usually wasn't tall enough to reach his side. It barely came to his thigh as it was.
Snape finally reached the bathroom. He turned automatically toward the mirror above the sink, but he couldn't see the imagine staring back. He turned the water on and splashed several hand fulls onto his face, rubbing again at his eyes. They finally cleared, and Snape looked down at his hands. They were different. The long, elegant fingers were shorter, the palms paler and not quite as calloused. Snape's mouth fell open. 'No,' he thought. 'It couldn't be...' He slowly raised his gaze to the mirror. Staring back were the same black orbs and the long black hair but the face was younger and fuller. It was the face of a youth. Severus Snape started at himself (his much younger self) for another minute before he passed out and fell, hitting the floor hard.
~
"Did you hear about Professor Snape?" one girl asked another.
"Snape? No. What about him?"
"I'm not sure. I heard Madam Pomfrey and Professor Dumbledore talking about him as I walked by the Infirmary this morning."
Hermione sat up, her back ramrod straight, and listened intently to the two girls conversing behind the bookcase.
"What did they say?" the other one asked, sounding excited.
"Not much. Dumbledore asked Pomfrey if Snape was doing any better or acting any calmer. Something like that...Anyway, I don't think it was too serious because Dumbledore was smiling. In fact, I think he was on the verge of laughing." The other girl looked pensive for a moment.
"What did Madam Pomfrey say to that?" The other girl shrugged.
"I don't know. I was walking too quickly to hear her response." Both girls then shrugged at each other.
"Did you finish that essay on snap crabs?" Hermione immediately blocked out the rest of their conversation. She smiled to herself as she thought about what Dumbledore's reaction must have been like. Not to mention Snape's. Oh, to have been there! Even though Snape had been acting like Hermione wasn't getting to him, what she had done this time was guaranteed to get some kind of reaction. It was apparently working, too. Hermione pictured in her mind the fit Snape must have thrown. That would explain why Dumbledore had asked if Snape was any calmer. That also explained why the DADA professor had taught the potion classes for the entire day. The potion Snape drank was going to last for at least a week, so he couldn't hide forever. She would see her handiwork eventually. How sweet that would be! Smiling broadly, Hermione threw her books into her bag and practically skipped out of the library, heading toward the common room.
~
"Headmaster," Snape squeaked, "please allow me to remain in the Infirmary for today." Dumbledore looked like he was trying very hard not to smile. Snape ground his teeth together as he waited for the older man's answer.
"I'm afraid, Severus, that you'll have to return to your teaching duties today." Snape felt horror struck.
"Like this?!" he shrieked, gesturing at himself. This time, Dumbledore failed at controlling the grin.
"Regretfully, yes. There is nothing more Poppy can do for you. It will wear off eventually." Snape looked across the room at the full length mirror he was facing. It was himself, only much younger. According to Poppy, Severus Snape was again thirteen-years-old. He recalled the first time he was thirteen, and he sneered at the mirror. Thirteen had been a horrible age. Snape had gone through puberty and all the things that accompanied it. His voice cracked constantly, his hair remained greasy, and it seemed like the pimples never went away. Worse than that, it took forever for him to get a growth spurt (to be exact, he had been and was now slightly over 5'2"). At thirteen, Snape had been a short, greasy-haired, pimply-faced, kid with a high pitched voice. He was not eager to relive that experience, especially since he was now a professor. Who ever heard of a professor who was shorter than everyone else? Feeling defeated, Snape sank onto a cot and put his head in his hands.
"Yes, Headmaster," he mumbled. Dumbledore's grin broadened. "Very good. I believe breakfast starts in a few minutes. Shall we?"
"Breakfast?!" Snape shouted, jumping to his feet. "I will teach my classes, Headmaster, but might I be allowed to eat in my classroom?"
"Very well," Dumbledore said, moving toward the door. "I will have a house elf bring you your meals. Good day, Severus."
"Thank you, Headmaster," Snape said as the door closed behind Dumbledore.
"Poppy," Snape whined when the Nurse came bustling out of her office, "are you sure there's nothing else that can be done?"
"I'm afraid not," she replied, almost failing (like Dumbledore) to control her smile, "but it should wear off soon enough." Snape sighed dramatically as he walked toward the fireplace. He flooed directly to his office. Snape stepped out of his own fireplace and sat down in the closet chair. He replayed the scene from the Infirmary in his mind. 'What's wrong with me?' he asked himself. 'I'm even beginning to act like a whiney teenager!' Snape stood up, cleared his throat importantly, tugged downward on the robes Dumbledore had conjured to fit his smaller frame, and strode into his classroom. These robes didn't billow outward like his others, but they would do for now. Snape sat down behind his desk and steepled his fingers before him. He began plotting exactly what he would do to the first smart mouth foolish enough to comment on his current condition.
~
"Where is he?" Hermione watched as Ron leaned over to whisper to Harry.
"I don't know, Ron. Maybe he's not teaching his classes again today."
"Yes, he is. Did you not hear the other students talking about him when they walked past us?" Harry shrugged.
"No, I didn't." Ron was about to say something else when the classroom door opened. The entire class turned around to look at Snape. Instead of seeing the tall, foreboding Potion's Master, what they did see was a very short kid with black hair hanging just below his ears. His face was slightly chubby with unshed baby fat and a hooked nose dominated his features. Hermione immediately put both hands to her mouth as she tried to laugh as quietly as possible. She wasn't sure how young the potion had turned him (since he was so small). It didn't really matter how old he was; he looked absolutely hilarious standing there in the door of the classroom, staring at everyone in turn. Hermione knew that he was trying to be intimidating, but it wasn't working. A few other people were laughing quietly like herself and the rest of them were biting their bottom lips.
"If I hear any talking whatsoever," Snape said in a slightly high voice, "the entire class will have a month's worth of detentions." He walked to stand in front of the classroom, continuing to watch everyone. This made it difficult to hide the laughter. Hermione thanked her lucky starts that she was sitting behind Harry because he was effectively hiding her from Snape's piercing gaze. She was still laughing hard into her hands.
"You know what to do," Snape said, waving his wand at the board. Hermione took a deep, calming breath as she stood to begin the assignment. She almost lost it when she saw how tall everyone was compared to the professor. Snape was by far the shortest person in the room. Even Hermione stood several inches above him! Instead of sitting like he usually did, Snape remained standing, puffing out his chest to make him look bigger, and he watched as the students gathered the needed ingredients from the cupboard. Hermione was careful to not meet his eyes as she walked past. His usual scowl was in place, but the baby cheeks took away the ferocity of the glare. The rest of class went by pretty uneventfully. Snape made a huge mistake, however, when he began lecturing one student on the thickness of his potion.
"Did you not pay any attention to the instructions, Mr. Raul? Did they not say SPECIFICALLY to add three unicorn tears AFTER stirring it clockwise?! Is that or is that not the reason your potion now looks like this?" Snape asked, using a ladle to scoop some of the potion and letting it splash back into the cauldron. Snape continued this lecture for ten minutes. It was very odd for him to waste his breath like this, but Hermione guessed that he was doing it to make a point. It wasn't working, though. It looked way too funny to see Snape (barely over five feet tall) leaning back to yell up at one of his students instead of down. This wasn't too bad, though. Everyone made sure that Snape couldn't see them laughing. It became too much, however, when Snape's voice cracked toward the end of his lecture. The giggling got only slightly more pronounced at first, but it didn't take long before the entire class was rolling on the floor laughing their guts out. Snape stood in the middle of the room, fists clenched at his sides, looking like the angry teenager he was. His voice shook as he said, "Quit laughing and get back to work." This only spurred the class to laugh harder. "That's it!" he yelled. "I've had it. Everyone in this room will be spending a month in detention with the teacher I choose!" This got everyone's attention. The laughter died away suddenly, leaving the room sounding dead and empty. Slowly, everyone stood, looking sheepishly at the livid Potion's Professor. Snape took a deep breath and unclenched his fists. "Get back to work," he said. The childish voice echoed in the silent room. Without talking, the students went back to their cauldrons and continued the assignment. Snape stalked to his desk and sat down in the chair with some difficulty, since the chair was so tall and teenage Snape was so short. Once he was seated in the chair, he grabbed the edge of the desk and pulled so he slid under it. This hid the fact that his legs dangled several inches above the ground. Under normal circumstances Hermione would have found this all very funny, but she suddenly felt sick to her stomach. She knew what was coming, but when would he tell her? Hermione's heart pounded hard in her chest throughout the rest of class. She wasn't surprised when Snape called for her to remain behind at the end of the lesson. She approached his desk while trying to get her heart to slow down.
"You will spend your detention with me, Miss Granger," he announced, not looking at her. This is what Hermione had known was coming.
"Yes sir," she said.
"Very well. Dismissed." Hermione turned and walked from the room, lost in thought. Seeing Snape like that was very funny, but it wasn't enough. She would wait until this potion wore off, of course, before she did anything else, but she was going to do something else to him very soon. Very soon indeed...Until then, Hermione was going to fully enjoy the fact that Snape was now thirteen-years-old. Especially since the potion would make him go through puberty faster than what was normal because it would only last a week. By tomorrow, his face would have a few pimples and his hair would be terribly greasy. His voice would continue to change as well, cracking more often and such. It was sure to make his lectures interesting, at least. Hermione smiled and her step lightened. 'Things are still going very well,' she thought.
~
Snape's eyes snapped opened and he blinked rapidly in the sunlight. Then the memories from yesterday flooded his mind and Snape groaned. Then a thought hit him. Maybe...He looked down at himself. 'No!' he thought. He was still thirteen. How long was he to remain like this? Sighing loudly, he threw the covers off himself and headed to the bathroom. Snape walked past the mirror, stopped, and walked backwards. His mouth fell open as he stared at his image. Was that...? No, it couldn't be! Severus leaned closer to the mirror to get a better look. 'Oh my...' he thought. There was a very large, very red pimple on the end of his crooked nose. Then Snape saw his hair. He cringed as he ran his fingers through it. It was extremely greasy, sticking to his head like a helmet. Contrary to popular belief, Snape's hair was never greasy. He, in fact, washed it every single day. It just looked like it was for some reason.
Snape took one more look at himself before running to his tub and filling it up with hot water. He got in as soon as it was ready and scrubbed his hair throughly. There was nothing he could do about the pimple, though. 'How humiliating,' he thought. He hadn't had a pimple in over thirty years. Then an idea hit Snape. A wonderfully evil idea. An idea so good that it dug in its claws and wouldn't let go. Severus began smiling as he went over what he was going to do in his head. Once he had it all worked out in his mind, Snape began singing as he worked the conditioner into his scalp. In a loud voice, he sang:
"Rubber ducky, you're the one!
You make bath time lots of fun!
Rubber ducky, I'm awfully
Fond of you!"
Snape eyed the rubber duck sitting on the side of the tub. He smiled at it lovingly before repeating the verse:
"Rubber ducky, you're the one!
You make bath time lots of fun!
Rubber ducky, I'm awfully
Fond of you!"
~
"What did the letter say again, Harry?" Hermione asked suspiciously, running slightly to keep up with Harry's and Ron's fast pace. "It just said," Harry began, "that the Slytherin Quidditch team wants to play us in a mock game."
"But why, though?" Hermione asked, worrying her bottom lip.
"We don't know, Hermione," Ron said, also sounding slightly worried.
"It is odd," said Harry. "I mean, they've never done anything like this before. Why now?"
"I think they're plotting something," said Hermione.
"They're Slytherin, 'Mione," Ron said. "Aren't they always up to something?" Hermione, however, didn't respond. She continued to worry her lip as she thought about the Slytherin Quidditch team. What in the world could they possibly be up to? The trio got the shock of their lives when they finally made it to the Quidditch pitch. There was the entire Quidditch team, hovering slightly above the ground on their brooms. This, however, didn't surprise the group. What absolutely floored them was the sight of Professor Snape hovering on his own broom a little ways in front of the other Slytherins. All three of them paled as they stared openly at the Potion's Master, none of them saying anything. Snape watched them for a moment, grinning broadly. Then he looked above their heads. Hermione knew, without turning around, that the rest of the Gryffindor Quidditch team was walking out to meet them. Harry was the first to regain his composure once the rest of the team came to a stop around him.
He closed his mouth, cleared his throat, and asked, "What's going on?" Snape smirked at him.
"Did you not get the letter, Mr. Potter?"
"Yes, I got it," Harry responded. Snape raised his eyebrows at him.
"I would've thought it was pretty self-explanatory." The Slytherin team laughed at this. Harry's face grew red.
"It obviously was not. What are you doing here?" Snape narrowed his eyes at Harry.
"As a professor at Hogwarts and Heard of Slytherin House, I can be anywhere I want at any time I choose without having to explain myself to nosy students." More laughter from the Slytherins. Hermione stepped forward, standing in front of Harry and bringing herself eye to eye with the teen Snape.
"The letter said that the Slytherin team challenges the Gryffindor team to a mock game of Quidditch. Last time I checked, Professor, you were not part of the Slytherin Quidditch team." The Quidditch pitch became so quiet that instead of hearing the proverbial pen drop, you could have heard the dust bunnies breathing.
Snape leaned toward Hermione and whispered dangerously, "I believe that I just informed Mr. Potter of my reasons for being here. In case you are hard of hearing, I will repeat myself. As a professor at Hogwarts I can be anywhere I want at the time of my choosing. I don't need permission from one of my pupils. Is that understood?" Hermione just glared at the boy before her. Snape leaned in closer, practically putting them nose to nose.
"Is that understood, Miss Granger?"
"Yes sir," Hermione said between gritted teeth. Snape smirked at her before leaning back.
"Into the air, all of you," he said, gesturing upward. The entire Quidditch team took off, except for one boy. After getting a closer look, Hermione realized that it was their usual Seeker. 'But that must mean...' she thought, her mouth falling open with understanding. Snape? A Seeker? No way! She had never heard ANYTHING about Snape playing Seeker the entire time he attended Hogwarts. Hermione watched as the regular Slytherin Seeker flew to the middle of the pitch. He reached down into the trunk at his feet and pulled out the Quaffle. Since Harry had his broom with him, he was able to take off right away. Once the rest of the team returned from the locker room with their brooms, they took off as well. Hermione held onto to Ron for a moment so she could speak with him.
"Ron, I believe Snape is going to play Seeker."
"Well, he can't be any better than Harry," Ron said.
"I'm not so sure about that..."
"He looks like he has a third eye growing on the end of his nose. How good can he be?" Ron asked as he mounted his broom and took to the sky.
"But that's not the point!" Hermione yelled. No one heard her, though. They were too focused on what was to take place before them. A whistle sounded somewhere, the Quaffle was released, and the match began. Hermione couldn't believe how fast Snape was! He was a blur as soon as the whistle sounded. When Slytherin was up by fifty points, Snape began dancing circles around Harry and his broom, practically daring poor Harry to do something about it. The rest of the Gryffindor team watched Snape with the upmost loathing as he whipped around and around Harry, laughing his head off. The distraction allowed Slytherin to score three more times. When Hermione saw that this made Snape laugh even harder, she mentally went over the ingredients of the potion, wondering if she accidently put in something that would make Snape go mad. The only good thing about the match was that both Harry and Snape had spotted the Snitch at the same time. Snape, however, had managed to get his grubby fingers around it a second before Harry's hand waved wildly at the spot it had been a moment before. This didn't dampen Snape's mood in the lightest because he knew that even if Harry had gotten the Snitch, Slytherin would have still won. Snape grinned mockingly at the Gryffindor team when everyone landed.
"Good game," he said to the Slytherin team, looking up at them proudly. Then his gaze turned toward the Gryffindors.
In a voice that sounded eerily like Malfoy, Snape said, "Better luck next time." His gaze went from Harry to Hermione. Snape then twirled his broom in one hand, set it on his shoulder, and began to whistle as he walked toward the castle. Hermione, Harry, and Ron, extremely wide-eyed, watched Snape's retreating back.
"Room of Requirement. Now," Hermione commanded, following Snape's steps to the castle.
"I'll be right there," Ron said, walking toward the locker room instead to put his broom away. Once in the Room of Requirement, all three of them paced around and around the table in the middle of the room, thinking hard. Harry was the one to break the silence.
"What the heck was that about?" he asked.
"I have no idea," Ron said, continuing to pace.
"Why would he do that?" Hermione whispered. "What was the point?" Harry thought about that for a moment.
"To show us up," he said.
"Yes," Hermione whispered, "yes..." Ron stopped pacing suddenly. He turned to face 'Mione.
"This was your brilliant idea! Why do you think he did it?"
"I don't know why he did it," Hermione wailed, "but I definitely didn't mean for him to have fun when I put the potion in his drink."
"Well, that's exactly what he's doing, Hermione," Harry said. "He sure looked like he was enjoying himself tonight, anyway." Ron smiled suddenly.
"That huge zit on his nose was pretty funny, though." Harry smiled, too. Then they both began to laugh. Neither one noticed Hermione stop her pacing. "The zit..." she whispered. Then she snapped her fingers, drawing both Harry's and Ron's attention back onto herself. "That's why he did it!" Hermione shrieked.
"What? Why, then?" Ron asked.
"The zit! I bet you anything he felt humiliated. Especially since Dumbledore wouldn't allow him to give the entire class that much detention time at once. Tonight was some form of retaliation." Hermione began pacing again. "Oh, you're very good, Professor Snape. Very good indeed..." Then she stopped moving. "We have to get back at him, boys. As soon at the potion wears off, and he's back to his normal self, we're going to do something that he couldn't possibly enjoy." Harry and Ron looked at each other, but instead of protesting like they usually did, they both smiled.
"So," Harry asked, "what are we going to do?"
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Please review and let me know what you think!
For anyone who reviewed at the author's note that was chapter five for a few days: These are just suggestions, but if you want to review for the real chapter five (it would be greatly appreciated!), you could either go back and review for chapter four or e-mail me with your comments. You can find my e-mail address in my bio. Thank you so much!
BTW, I am, again, so sorry this chapter took so long to write! I don't think homework should be allowed for at least the first month of school. I already know what I want to do in chapter six, so I'm hoping it won't take me nearly as long to write.