A/N: After this chapter…there will be EXTREME DRAMA! MUAHAHAHHAHAHA! FINALLY I'll get to the melodramatic events! But at the same time it will be angst but mostly drama. Fluff will come and go…and there might be a sequel tho I think this would be better off with just an epilogue…hmm?

10Q 2:

Sailor Tyffani, Seig1308, elisabeth , Anonymous T, o0sakurachan0o, babybluestarangel, forestfairy, Umi , syaoran-s2-sakura04

Through Drunken Eyes

by: maixwolfblossom

-Chappie Four—

--A Second Chance--

DISCLAIMER: If someone said they owned CCS…would you believe them? I think not…! HEHEHEHEH CCS and all their rights belong to CLAMP!

Why should I care?

I should be strong and live my life… but I can't.

Inside I am weak; a weakness that I long to break.

Li Syaoran, the number one bachelor in all of China and Japan, the most wanted man…Doesn't deserve to be sought after by any woman.

Sometimes I laugh coldly about being the most wanted bachelor. It's a joke. Who ever said that these amber eyes and years of training to be the head of the Li Clan were going to make me a worshiped idol?

I surely don't want that.

When I remember the happy times, I remember them well like it was yesterday.

The day she gave me a second chance to prove that I loved her more than anything. Oh how I wish I made it right then.

Memory

For me, two minutes was late and I was surprised that Sakura decided to go out with me after that humiliating scene in the bar.

I missed her and I needed to be comforted. I felt vulnerable being by myself. I was alone waiting for her as I fiddled my fingers. I looked up once or twice in nervousness through the crowded streets but not a familiar face was seen.

Cold sweat broke out of my abnormally heated back. It was probably because I have been without liquor for three days. I felt my body involuntarily tremble and it vibrated out to the open world. It seemed like eternity as I stood there in the cruel winter evening.

Closing my eyes, I took a deep shaky breath and relaxed myself. I wanted to take Sakura here by myself but she refused.

At the time I was confused of why she didn't want me to come for her.

I now know of that reason.

And though it breaks my heart to admit it, she was scared that I would endanger her life and she had every right to believe it true.

Normal POV

As if on cue, Tomoyo's car pulled up to the front of the restaurant that Syaoran was in front of.

He waved uncertainly at Tomoyo but a mutinous glare emerged from her already scrunched up face.

Before Sakura could get out of the car, Tomoyo stepped out of her vehicle and walked up to Syaoran, poking her finger into his chest with every word she spoke.

"If-I-ever-hear-that-you-endanger-Sakura-chan-again…you're-going-to-get-it-Li! I-don't-care-if-you-are-my-childhood-friend! If you hurt Saku, you hurt yourself! Got it!"

With that, Tomoyo returned to her car and glared at Syaoran through the window, mouthing, 'I'm going to hunt you down and I mean literally!' before she went to park her car in the restaurant parking lot.

Sakura stood at her spot before Syaoran noticed how quiet it was.

Usually she would be cheerful and full of life but tonight was different as was every night they spent in each other's lives since Syaoran's father died. She was angry. Angry for what he did not give up for her.

He felt his heart break seeing her infuriated with him. He couldn't bear it. So he inwardly sighed and decided to step aside to give an explanation...to maybe give her that chance to let him go.

"Sakura-rin…gomen nasai (I'm very sorry) If you don't want to be with me I'll—I'll see you later or if you think this relationship is not working out for you...I understand if you--"

He didn't think he deserve to explain himself as he walked away not finishing his sentence.

He missed his father so much.

The Li Corporation was enforcing him into longer hours, so maybe it was better like this since he wouldn't be able to see her for a long while.

"You lied to me…"

Syaoran glanced at her though his head was bowed down. So she knew…

He remembered waking up that morning, thinking that all the events that happened the previous nights was only a dream, a nightmare he wish he had taken back. Most of the things that happened came to him as a blur.

At those times he felt unhappy though relaxed immersing himself in liquid satisfaction until he forgot all his problems until he came back to the world of reality. It was the 'after' part that was the price he paid the next morning about his forgetful night and the many very angry people…people he loved.

Syaoran answered this time, his voice trembling from fear.

He really loved Sakura. It's just that these days he'd forgotten things lately and with his late nights and all. He denied to himself that his drinking was the problem, but to him it was a solution.

"Ying Fa. I can't deny I didn't stop myself from breaking a promise. But if you were there to stop me--"

"I don't want to hear your excuses, Li! I only left for three minutes and you already got through, what? Five bottles?"

Syaoran narrowed his eyes dangerously, "No, for your information I had three bottles."

"Three, five. Same thing! All the Manhattan's and what ever other liquors you mixed up were enough to make you do violence! And what hurt me more was that you did this on our night out! I thought for our anniversary, you would treat me right. But I was wrong. You brought me to a god forsaken bar and embarrassed me in front of people we know!"

Sakura shivered not from the cold, but from her anger. He looked deep within her emerald eyes and saw what he was afraid to see. A lost expression made its way to his amber eyes, lighting his features into a boyish air of innocence.

It was startling to see what he found in her eyes.

…it was fear…

Fear of him, and that terrified Syaoran.

Was he that big of a jerk?

"Sakura…I--"

He gazed down at her face once again and saw her orbs of light fill with unshed tears. He reached out, but she moved away in panic. He tried again and this time he caught her into his arms, where she struggled to free herself from his embrace, the tears already spilling.

"Can't you understand? Li, I'm afraid of you. I can't be with you if you're going to hurt me. Please let go of me."

Her face rained drops of tears falling mercilessly like streams of water plunging into a never-ending puddle.

She felt her strength leave her, her knees grew weak as she racked with uncontrollable sobs, but he held on.

People started to stare at the sobbing Sakura but she paid no attention. She was in pain and the only way to let it out was to let her emotions free. He frantically held Sakura with all his might, his shirt soaking with hot tears of anger and sadness.

But he had only one goal in mind. He wanted to make things right.

When the last of her tears dried, Syaoran traced her brow as she flinched which made him sadden with every moment seeing her try to crawl away from him in dread.

Why was it, when she cried…it seemed it was always because of him?

He brought her sadness instead of joy.

He brought her many burdens instead of unloading them unto himself.

As he held her to him, seeking for an answer, he whispered, "Do you really hate me that much?"

Sakura shook her head. Her voice cracked slightly, "Iie (No)! I just…don't like seeing you hurt yourself anymore. I feel like our love is waning…"

For a while she didn't continue, it was almost as if she was choosing her words carefully, "I don't know how long we could survive as a couple, Syaoran-kun. When I think about our relationship I feel cold but at the same time I don't want to leave you."

"Are…Are you telling me that you feel like we are nothing but friends?" Anxiety bubbled within.

Sakura closed her eyes as if in pain and took a deep breath before opening them up again.

"I think we need to spend time away from each other." Sakura shifted her focus to something other than Syaoran. "It's just…I don't think I could stop your problems. I'm not strong enough to help you…as much as you need the help, it seems I can't provide what you long for."

Syaoran opened his mouth in protest, "Bu--"

She held up a hand, "What I'm trying to say is…" Sakura looked him in the eye, her bottom lip trembling with every word, "I don't think I'm good enough for you."

Her eyelids partially closed and a tear slipped through them.

Syaoran became confused. He didn't know why she said she wasn't 'good enough for him. But he did what he could to bring her comfort.

"Sakura, I may have been a bastard to you and for that I am sorry. But you're wrong in some way. You are good enough for me. It is I that shouldn't be worthy of you. I am weak without you because I need you. You're my Sakura. My Li Ying Fa."

A few women, who passed by, heard his response and became starry-eyed and clapped their hands.

Ignoring the strange looks from the crowds on the busy streets, Sakura gasped for she knew he was hinting to make her his wife. She looked up into his amber, in disbelief. Four years of dating, Ten years of being friends…it had always been her fantasy to be with him forever but something was holding her back.

Syaoran's worries resurfaced seeing her face darken.

"Xiao Lang…I don't know…"

The crowds on the streets blurred, tears streamed down Sakura's cheeks.

In her heart she knew Syaoran had to change for her sake. If they wanted a family, Syaoran had to make time for her. If they had children, he had to stop working long hours. If she wanted a husband, she wanted him to be acquainted with her children as her father was and still is. She wanted a whole family not a broken one. Mostly, she wanted Syaoran to stop drowning his sorrows with alcohol. If he couldn't, she would never marry him.

"Sakura please…I'll do anything for you to stop crying…please tell me what I should do. I want you to be with me forever, I want you to be the one for me…I want you to be the mother of my children. Sakura…I love you so damn much…"

He wiped away a stray tear, "I want to know what makes you cry, so that I can be the one that always makes you smile, Sakura."

She sniffed shakily and gave an unbelievable smile, "You're so cheesy and…" her smile faded slightly, "…and Syaoran I want you to stop ruining your life…You can't keep forgetting things, you can't lie to me, you can't screw up your life with a friggin' bottle every single night."

"I don't have a bottle every singl--"

Sakura sharply interrupted, "Don't contradict me!"

In frustration, Sakura grabbed a fistful of her hair and shook her head.

"…This is what I meant…you don't know what you're talking about and it hurts me to say this Syaoran…but…you're an alcoholic…"

Syaoran stared blankly at the woman he loved, his mind not processing the word she called him.

Thinking it was a kind of joke, he laughed a little.

"Sakura…that's really funny. It's just a little thing to enjoy--"

She scoffed in anger, "You call NINETEEN SHOTS OF LIQUOR ON YOUR 19th BIRTHDAY A LITTLE THING! YOU COULD'VE DIED FOR GOODNESS SAKE!"

Syaoran stepped back in astonishment seeing Sakura snap like that.

He had never thought his drinking was a problem to her, especially a girl that was always sweet and loving.

"You don't seem to get it through your thick skull…this is one of the reasons why I'm on the verge of breaking up with you. If you cannot embrace your problem, then…I'm sorry Li…I'll never be with you."

A sharp intake of breath exerted from Syaoran hearing his last name being used, but she dared not to look at his face, for if she did she would probably run back into his arms, risking her life again.

A burning sensation arose to the pit of her stomach, resting there. But it wasn't out of passion or yearning, it was out of fiery pain. She really didn't want to let Syaoran go but if it meant saving her life…she'd feel better knowing her life was not at stake.

The chilly evening seemed to be freezing over and Sakura shivered, still avoiding Syaoran's gaze.

His cold voice broke into her thoughts but it seemed that his spirit was bruised.

"So this is it…? It's over?"

Sakura nodded her head in confirmation, her voice monotone, "If you cannot show me you have changed...then yes…I'm afraid that our relationship is over…but…"

A flicker of hope lit up in his heart.

"But our relationship as friends will live on forever…and maybe when I feel you've changed and our hearts are still in the right place…then maybe…there will be a second chance…"

His flicker of hope died, leaving his heart frozen.

Syaoran cast a futile attempt to smile, but failed terribly.

"I understand…" He didn't mean it.

Syaoran gathered Sakura into his arms for a last embrace and looked at her features as if remembering every single detail of her. He couldn't help but feel sad about her decision but she was just protecting herself.

Her eyes flickered with pain and misted over with tears that she wiped away dismissively. Syaoran couldn't help it. It was in the spur of the moment when he swooped down for a kiss.

It was short and chaste but it was enough to bring his heart to his stomach.

And with one last look at her, he left with a broken heart and shattered pride.

END

My only chance to give up anything for the one I loved was demolished.

In someway, I think I should have left it at that and bid Sakura goodbye for good.

Back then, I was just thinking of myself.

Sure I love my Li Ying Fa and I did get my second chance.

But before I get a little ahead of the story, this was the end of our relationship as boyfriend and girlfriend.

And yet I feel my heart leap to my throat I wish she shun me away from her.

How can I say 'wish' when I think of myself not worthy of such things?

All I knew was a new restart of friendship was to begin, but that was just the beginning of my lost.

A/N: I know this was a very weird chapter…but you'll see how it ends up! . Let's just hope it's a happy ending…Muahahahaha Muahahaha Muahahahhaha static

Sakura: ahem Excuse the crazy authoress…skool has finally come to a shock to her. The 'B' in her latest Geometry chapter test was a shock I tell you! A SHOCK! Poor maixwolfblossom, she's been receiving 'F' for the past two months and yeah she expected another one and guess what! The pathetic girl actually passed that test! Stress I tell you…

Syaoran: You could say that again…

Sakura: Stress I tell you…

Syaoran: (strained voice) You could say that again…

Sakura: Stress I tell--

Syaoran: WOULD YOU STOP IT ALREADY! IT'S JUST A FIGURE OF SPEECH!

Sakura: -blinks- HOOEEEEEEE!