On The Road With Danny Concannon: New York: Again

Title: "Back In NYC"

Spoilers: POSSE COMITATUS season three

Companion Piece: None

"You had a dream about her again?," asked the voice in the darkness.

"Yeah," Danny sat, lying on the leather couch. "I always dream about her."

"But, this was different?"

"Not, different." He paused. 'Just vivid," he looked for more words.

"I thought I was finally-I don't know—they weren't as frequent-that real—and now their back."

"And how does that make you feel?," The man asked.

"Okay, I can't do this Peter." Danny sat up on the couch. "This is just too weird. You're my college roommate!"

"You said you needed to talk to someone?," Peter asked with the wining of a great friend.

"I know." Danny took a look at the Notre Damn diploma and medical degree on the wall.

"Danny, you to need to talk to someone." Danny was silent. "I know a good guy in DC."

Danny groaned and walked toward the window. "Good guy, went to school with him, helped Josh Lyman after he was shot."

"Josh?" Danny looked toward his friend as Peter handed a paper in his direction. "I'm never in DC enough."

"Take the number Danny."

"I'll talk to you."

"You just said you can't talk to me—it's too weird!"

"Yeah, yeah."

There was a pause as Danny watched the snow fail down on the New York sidewalk.

"How long are you in town?"

"A few days. Once the snow clears up I'm off to Germany."

"Ahh."

"I missed the snow in the Washington. Never did that before. It makes the capital so white. It's all white. It's amazing."

Peter let Danny take a silence.

"Why was the dream different?," he said softy.

"It was different."

"Were you making love to her?"

"Yes."

"Do you always? In the dreams?"

"No. Sometimes we just talk."

"Really?"

"Yeah, really?"

"Your still in love with her?-"

"Yes."

"And you can't shake it? Still?"

"Yeah, I try and I think I do- and I can't."

"Is that why you're away—away from DC."

"Probably. But I have this story I'm working on. It's big. I have places to go."

"You miss the White House?"

"Yeah."

"I never remember you leaving so much except when the campaign's started—."

"If there's a story somewhere else—that's big—I come and go."

"Or a girl back there—?"

"Yeah."

"Danny—you're trying to avoid this by being away."

"I have this story—."

"Danny, you love her, you dream about her, she's affecting what your doing with your life—."

"Sometimes I think I'd rather be back there and not be with her than here- and never see her—so no- I'm not away because it's too hard-it's too hard and it makes it easier—but that's not why."

"If you say so. I'm just the one with the medical degree."

"Yeah, the medical degree, you want to write me a prescription?" Peter said nothing. "I didn't think so." Danny laughed.

"Danny, you need to figure this out—with someone you can see on a regular basis."

"How do I get into all this?"

"It happens."

"She's the one. That's why I can't shake it."

"Sometimes the one- isn't the one right now. Fate has it's ways."

"You believe in all that?"

"You don't? You come in here once a year and tell me how the love of you life works at The White House, which also, regarding your job, is the love of your life—you can't tell me you don't think that's a correlation. It is a little strange. I never believe in it myself. But if my brother hadn't lost his job and moved to New York, and I left my cell phone at his apartment, which I never do, I would have never met my wife."

"That's how you met Sally?"

"She stopped by to pick up a few things—she use to live in my brother's apartment."

"Ha?"

"Yeah."

"And I know you. And you're a hopeless romantic—always have been Danny."

"I suppose." Danny shook it off.

"Don't make me bring up the past old buddy." He paused. "You want to tell me about the dream?"

"No."

"Take the number Danny."

Danny hesitated and after a moment took the number reluctantly.

"You talk to Josh lately?" Peter asked.

"No-Nay—we email occasionally? You?"

"Not since I moved to New York. Tell him I say hey."

"I will."

Danny walked out of Peter's office building into the snow. It wasn't that bad, but with the flurries he had to pull up his collar. He started to walk a few paces when his thoughts were interrupted by a commotion.

Danny looked to his right, to see a woman fall through a small crowd of people to the ground in front of him.

'Ahh!" The woman fell right in front of Danny. He turned to look. He knew that sound, he knew that fall.

"CJ?" Danny asked in shock.

CJ lifted her head, "Danny?"

"You ok?" He laughed reaching down to lift her up.

"Yeah?" She was in shock herself. "What are you doing in New York?"

"I'm grounded because of the snow. You?"

'It's been so long—oh? Same here. I was in town for an award I was getting."

"What award?"

"Women in politics—I think—it was one of those large names—"

"Glad it meant so much to you?," he laughed.

"I'm sorry, I'm just tried-." CJ took him in as she held her in his gloved hands. "I feel like it's been forever since—"

"Yeah?" He laughed. "How ya do'ing." He smiled.

"Good." She smiled back. "Good."

They looked at each other for a while. Danny let his hand fall off CJ's arms.

"You got time?"

"Tons." She laughed.

"Take a walk with me?" CJ looked at the snow. "Its dying down, come on."

CJ smiled and they walked down the street.

The snow did in fact die down and CJ and Danny walked for blocks and blocks not noticing how many they had walked.

"Whoa!" Danny held onto CJ as she fell again pushing up against him. CJ tired to regain her balance but fell again causing her to fall further onto to Danny. She pulled herself up causing their lips to touch and push against each other. CJ took her balance and they stayed like that, inches away from each other's faces. They pushed lips again, CJ did it this time, but they were each unsure to continue the kiss. This made the kiss almost go in slow motion as they took moments to start and finish it. Danny's lips were soft and warm and CJ's stubble to the touch. They both enjoyed the moment, but knew how much it meant for so many reasons. CJ pulled away and Danny pulled in his lower lip.

CJ said nothing and lowered her head, biting her own lip and walking way from Danny taking her hand off his shoulder last. CJ took a step and waited. Danny didn't know what to do. She walked closer to an apartment doorway and Danny walked behind her. CJ walked into the out cove and somehow Danny found his way in with her.
CJ ran her fingers thought his hair as he led his hand up her thigh. Their mouths parted and met, parted and met. CJ pulled away, stepping out of the doorway, before it could go too far and looked at Danny. He leaned in the doorway.

"Let's keep walking." She said looking down.

"Ok." Danny put his hands in her pocket and they continued walking again.

They walked for another stretch talking as if nothing had happen, but their eyes spoke volumes. CJ laughed. Oh, how Danny loved her laugh. They walked some more finding themselves almost near Times Square hitting 45th street and 8th avenue.

Danny took CJ's hand in his.

"Danny?" She scolded him looking at his hand, yet she didn't release herself.

"What?"

CJ looked around and whispered, "Someone could see us?"

"Where?" Danny looked around and took her eyes. "We're not in Washington?"

"Still….people know me—we could run into someone I know or you know—I don't know—"

"CJ it's New York City, I don't think anyone is going to take the time to notice us—nor do a think a person is staking around here waiting for the off chance The Press Secretary would be holding hands with a reporter."
"I know—"

"You weren't so shy, back there—" He smirked looking ahead as they walked.

"I'm not—."

"I'm kidding." He looked at her and held her hand tighter for a moment. CJ smiled back. His hand felt good on hers. It felt good. It felt normal almost. They looked like young lovers just starting out. They came upon a bodega/grocery.

"I'm gonna go inside and get something to drink, you want something?"

"No." She smiled.

"Be right back." He kissed her hand.

CJ looked up at the bodega and a memory hit her. She knew this place. Her stomach tied in knots and she couldn't move.

"Sure you don't want a candy bar or- "

"Danny don't go in there?" CJ was in a panic.

"CJ?"

"Danny, don't go in there—please don't-"

"I'm just getting a drink—CJ what's wrong?" He stood by the door in anticipation to walk through the door, but he kept his gaze on CJ.

"I can't—Don't—I can't." CJ ran off.

"CJ!" Danny ran after her. "CJ!" Danny caught her as she turned the corner of 45th street.

"CJ what's wrong." He grabbed her by the arms.

"You can't go in there."

"I wont. CJ?-"

'I have to get away from—" CJ let go of Danny's grasp and started up the street toward seventh avenue.

"CJ!" He ran after her. CJ stopped as she saw where she was going.

"I can't go that way. I can't. 44th-That's—The Booth is that way—That's where we—"She turned around and Danny lowered his head to get her eyes.

"CJ, I can't help you unless you tell me what's wrong?" CJ stopped as she realized she was going back toward the bodega. Again it was a direction CJ couldn't go.

"I can't go back that way—" She was so fluster. "That's where Simon- I can't." She looked right she looked left. Danny heard the name Simon and he knew.

"Ok, ok. No more walking. I'm getting you a cab." CJ nodded her head and tears began to shed. "Yeah?" He said sweetly. "Ok." CJ leaned her head into Danny's shoulder. He put his hand out and soon a yellow cab stopped for them. He ushered CJ inside and slid in next to her. The cab rode off.

"CJ were are you staying?" He asked her as she sat in a heap on his side, trapped in his arms.

"Staying?" She cried. "The St. Regis." She said under tears.

"St. Regis Hotel." He told the driver.

CJ began to pull herself together.

"Take your time." He told her as she lifted her head and took a breath.

Danny followed CJ into her dark hotel room.

"You didn't have to walk me up." CJ set her purse down on her night stand. Her eyes had dried, but her body felt stale.

"I'm sorry to ask CJ, and if you don't want to talk about—"

"What happened back there?"

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but-." The last word made CJ see what he was really saying.

"You know, don't you?'

"You said Simon." CJ nodded her head and sat on the edge of the bed. "Can I ask further?"

"Yes."

Danny sat down next to CJ.

"Is that where Simon Donovan was killed?"

"Yes." She started to cry again, but stopped herself. Danny knew that pain she was going through. "Must seem pretty funny—me getting that way—over my secret service agent—

"It's ok. He was someone you cared for—"

"Cared for?"

"I know CJ."

"What?-How did you know? I didn't tell anyone—we didn't even."

"I knew." He looked her in the eye. "I saw the way you looked at him. You looked at me that way."

CJ saw such hurt and love in his eyes.

"Did that hurt you?"

"Yes." He paused. "Yes."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

"I'd feel the same way."

"Really?"

"Really." She was crying again.

Danny leaned in and kissed CJ. She kissed him back. CJ laded back on the bed and Danny watched her under him, looking so peaceful. He wanted to cry. She bit her lower lip and he leaned in to kiss her. CJ wrapped her arms around Danny. He felt so warm. He felt so safe. His beard nestled her face, and soon her neck and her shoulder and soon he started to unbutton her blouse. Danny paused, but CJ gave him the go ahead. She let out a cry of pleasure sending tingles through CJ and Danny. They were almost getting there, almost getting to the one thing they had never done. She helped Danny take off his shirt and she ran her fingers over his chest.

"Oh God!" CJ yelled as he ran his hands over her breasts, even through her bra. Danny ran his mouth down her chest and CJ arched her back.

Her cell phone rang. CJ's attention took her back to reality.

"Don't answer it." Danny whispered to her as his nose ran over her check. The phone rang again.

"I have to." CJ pulled away from Danny and let her feet drop to the right side of the bed and her purse on the nightstand.

Danny pulled his legs to the left side of the bed, his back to CJ's back as if they had separated like two haves of a pair of scissors. The image was electric and Danny could feel it. He took a breath to retain himself. CJ took her phone out of her purse and saw the number, it was The White House, and she opened the flap and brought it to her ear.

"Yeah." CJ answered her phone pulling at her blouse to cover herself up. "Hey, Toby." She lowered her head.

Danny heard her say it and he knew what was going to happen.

"Yeah, I can be there in a hour." CJ paused holding in her emotion. "Yeah, I'm just tried." She paused and listened to Toby. "Yeah, I'll see you when I get back." CJ hung up her phone and held it in her hand in a firm grip. "They got me a charter fight. It leaves in a hour."

CJ lifted herself off the bed and placed her phone in her purse. Danny watched her walk out of view, crying and buttoning her shirt. His eyes were down cast and full of unique sadness. He walked her walk away from his mind.

"Did that really happen?" Peter asked.

Danny turned from the window and looked at Peter, "I'm not sure?" He said softly and looked back out the window. "Sometimes I'm really not sure."