A/N: Sorry this chapter took longer than usual! I've had a pile of
homework, club activities, midterms, and I had to take the PSAT. I miss
summer...
Thanks to Lissie89, HIEIhotsause, ckat44, Kyra Invictus Black, HunnySnowBunny, Potter-luvver, La Pamplemousse, Lily of the Shadow, Slytherian Angel, Jade Kirk and Max LBC, Mary Snape, KrazyKate, Daxi, Sammy Rettop Malfoy, Carlin, Draco-Malfoy-Severus-Luva, and midniteblusoccer for the wonderful reviews! Forgive me if I've forgotten anyone. :)
~MESSAGES~
HIEIhotsause: Thanks for the earrings! Aren't they beautiful? :) What's my next reward?
HunnySnowBunny: I hate to disappoint you, but I'm not planning on making it a SS/HG fic, but If anybody wants me to, I can write two endings to the story. One where they end up together and one where they don't. What do you think?
Mary Snape: I know Snape is a very powerful wizard, and he could kick their butts with both hands tied behind his back, but this is just for fun. I think of it as Harry's, Ron's, and Hermione's fantasy. And Snape does get some revenge on the trio, but it's mostly about them getting back at him. If you have any suggestions about what he could do to them, I would love to hear them (because between you and me, I'm starting to run on empty in the "idea" department)!
KrazyKate: At this point in time, I'm not planning on making it SS/HG. I could, however, write two endings: one where they end up together and one where they don't. What do you think?
Daxi: Thank you for telling me to take my time. I usually try to post a new chapter in at least three weeks, but I've had a lot going on lately so it's taken longer.
midniteblusoccer: I actually didn't have to take the SAT (yet) just the PSAT, but it still sucks. We find out our scores in December, and I'm dreading it. I did fairly well on my midterms, though, so they kind of made up for the PSAT.
Big hug to my beta, Lissie! Isn't she the best?
Disclaimer: I own nothing; J. K. Rowling owns everything. So what's new?
**********
Chapter 7- 'Phase Five' continued
Hermione rolled over and opened her eyes. The curtains around her four- poster were drawn closed, but the rising sun had managed to find just the right sliver to pass through to reach 'Mione's eyes. She blinked rapidly for a moment before bringing a hand to her face to rub the last of sleep away. Then her memory flooded with the thoughts of spells, dark corridors, and a Potion's Master. When the memory of the spell hit, Hermione sat up immediately and threw the curtains aside. She half-ran, half-stumbled across the seventh-year girls' dorm to the bathroom, not even bothering to keep quiet so she wouldn't wake the other sleeping girls. She had to know what Snape had done. When Hermione reached the bathroom, she turned toward the mirror. What she saw was...absolutely nothing. She could see herself, of course. Her bushy, brown hair was spread in every direction from tossing and turning all night, and she was squinting her eyes sleepily. There was nothing out of the ordinary. Hermione ran a hand through her curly mane in an exasperated manner before leaving the bathroom to prepare for the approaching day. The other girls were already beginning to stir, so Hermione grabbed her clothes quickly and returned to the bathroom.
Thirty minutes later, Hermione threw her bag under the Gryffindor House table in the Great Hall and plopped down next to Harry with Ron sitting across from them. Both looked Hermione over closely, looking for the slightest abnormality. Finding none, they returned their questioning gazes to her face. Hermione shrugged.
"I don't know what he did, but I found nothing unusual when I woke up this morning."
"Do you think it didn't work?" asked Ron.
"I highly doubt it," Hermione responded, pulling a plate a bacon toward her. "It just might take a few days for us to see whatever effect it's supposed to have."
"I wonder what spell it was?" Harry said.
"I would like that question answered myself," Hermione said, "because I have a feeling that whatever it is, it's going to highly embarrass me. But there's really no way to know, is there? Short of asking Snape himself, I mean. Besides, I don't remember the incantation he used. I guess we'll just have to wait and see." At that moment, all three Gryffindors turned slowly and looked at the teacher's table. Professor Snape was sitting in his usual spot. There was food on his plate, and he was pushing it around with a fork, but he wasn't paying any attention to it. His gaze was on the trio. His eyes were narrowed, and his mouth was turned up slightly at the corners. Even though the cloths pin was still firmly in place, he looked quite foreboding. Hermione, who normally would have taken this opportunity to grin or even wink in a sarcastic/evil manner at Snape, looked slightly sick all of a sudden. She pushed her plate away and slumped over, looking defeated. Harry and Ron looked at her, concern shining brightly in their eyes.
"Are you okay?" Ron asked. Hermione didn't even attempt to mumble a response.
"No matter what Snape did to you, remember that you got him, too," Ron said. Hermione smiled a little at him.
"True," she said, brightening slightly. "Plus, the spell I cast starts working within the next few minutes while it seems his will take some time." Feeling better, Hermione pulled her plate back in front of her and started eating. They ate their breakfast for several minutes in silence, with Hermione throwing gleeful glances at Snape every so often. She was looking so much happier that Harry felt very reluctant to tell her what had just occurred to him. He sighed heavily before speaking.
"Did you ever think that now he knows for sure it's us doing this to him, he'll go to Dumbledore?" Hermione's fork was halfway to her mouth, but it never made it. She set it back down with a clang and threw a frightened look at Dumbledore sitting in the middle of the teachers' table. Harry and Ron looked at him, too. He didn't look at all angry; quite the contrary, actually. He was laughing at something McGonagall had just said.
Unbeknownst to the trio, Snape saw the way they were looking at the Headmaster. He knew exactly why they were looking at Dumbledore like that, too. They were worried that Snape had gone running to the Headmaster, complaining that a group of students were picking on him. Severus snorted. 'Not hardly,' he thought. Snape, in fact, had not gone to Dumbledore and told him about what his three precious students had been up to since the start of school. Oh, he had been planning on talking to Dumbledore about his suspicions, but then he decided to wait until he had proof. But now...He kept thinking he would go to Dumbledore by the end of the day, but in the back of his mind he knew he wouldn't. That would mean admitting defeat and giving up, and there was no way Severus was going to let those...those children win the war. Suddenly, Snape smiled evilly. Soon, very soon, the spell he had cast on Hermione would begin working. If it hadn't already, that is. Snape swiped his napkin across his pale lips before throwing it onto the table next to his plate and standing up. Even though he had the clothespin firmly in place, he could still smell the stink of a pigsty. His appetite had deserted him the moment he had walked into the Great Hall, but he had stayed anyway to prove a point. Now he could return to his office for a couple of hours of peace before the first horde of students invaded his space.
As Severus walked the familiar path behind the rest of the professors seated at the Head Table, his mind had already moved on to other matters. He went over the first lesson plan in his head as he walked down the three steps leading from the raised platform the Head Table sat on. 'First,' he thought, 'they will prepare the ingredients for the fairly weak truth potion. Second-' Snape made it to step three of the lesson plan (and ten steps away from the platform) when, suddenly, someone tackled him from behind. It was such a shock that he barely had time to put his arms in front of his face. His elbows hit the floor first, and pain shot through his arms as the rest of his body followed, making a loud THUD sound. His nose hit the back of his arm, breaking the clothespin and flooding his senses with a smell worse than the vomit. Snape buried his face in his arms in an attempt to block out the odor, but the weight of something still wrapped around his legs made him lift up his head to look. He was still in the Great Hall, surrounded by the entire student body, all of whom where laughing their hardest. Embarrassment caused the anger to flow even hotter in his blood as hundreds of the perfect curses he could use on whoever was still wrapped around his legs ran through his mind.
Snape whipped his head around furiously, preparing to curse whoever it was to the eighth level of hell. Who he saw was...no one. There was no student still holding on to his legs, no student standing above him glowing with pride from having taken down the Potions Master. But it felt like someone was still hanging on to him, and this was a very confusing feeling. Ignoring the laughter, Snape tried to move the lower part of his body. It was then he discovered why it felt like there was an anchor on his legs. His cloak was wrapped around him so tightly it was almost to the point of cutting off circulation. Snape began moving his legs rapidly, trying to disentangle himself from the cloak. After about a minute, Dumbledore came to his rescue, albeit with tears in his eyes.
"Just be still for a moment, Severus," he said. "I believe it will loosen shortly." So, Snape stopped moving and laid perfectly still on the floor of the Great Hall. Most of the laughter had quieted, but some students were still smiling broadly in Snape's direction. He didn't look at any of them, though. He counted the floor tiles around him instead. Then Dumbledore was proved correct. The cloak went limp, releasing his legs. Dumbledore helped Snape to his feet and held onto his arm to keep him from toppling over. Satisfied Snape wasn't going to fall again, Dumbledore let go of his arm.
"Thank you, Headmaster," Snape said while straightening his cloak. He had just turned to leave when a very high-pitched giggle rang out, followed by, "Oh my God, that was totally awesome!" Snape froze as the rest of the Great Hall turned in the direction of the Gryffindor table, no doubt looking for either that Parkinson or Patil girl because it had sounded just like them. Snape knew exactly who it was, though, without even having to look. 'And it's about bloody time,' he thought. Following the rest of the Great Hall, Snape turned his head to look at the Gryffindors. His eyes immediately landed on the source of the outburst: Hermione Granger. Her eyes were wide with shock , her face pale. Both hands were covering her mouth which, Snape was sure, was wide open under the palms. The only other two people staring at Hermione (as far as Snape could tell) were sitting across the table from her; namely Potter and Weasley. Both of their mouths were wide open, too. Snape smiled evilly. The spell was finally beginning to work. By the end of the week, Hermione would be the one thing she hated most: a flirtatious swallow valley-girl. Then the smile disappeared as a thought hit him. Snape looked down at his robe, up at Hermione, then at his robe once more. 'That's it,' he thought. Hermione must have charmed his robes to wrap around his legs in an attempt to trip him. It was a fairly clever spell, especially when he wasn't expecting it the first time. It would probably take a few tries (and a few falls) before he figured out how many steps it took for the robe to wrap around him and how to remain standing upright once it did. After that, however, it would be fairly easy to muddle through the day until the spell wore off. In the back of his mind, he was a little disappointed. He had hoped that Hermione's spell would have been more of a challenge. 'Oh well,' he thought as he returned his gaze to Hermione. She no longer looked like she was going to pass out, but she still looked ill. Suddenly, she caught Snape's eye.
His evil grin returned as he walked out of the Great Hall, counting steps along the way. The Entrance Hall was deserted which, in Snape's mind, was a good thing. There would be no one around to witness his robes wrap around his legs again, most likely causing him to fall. Thirty steps outside of the Great Hall, the same sensation of someone tackling him happened too quickly to prevent the following fall. Luckily, however, Snape had enough warning that he was able to twist his body so he would land on his back instead of his face. He laid in the middle of the Entrance Hall for exactly two minutes before the robes lost their strength. He stood and continued on to the dungeons. He fell again thirty steps later, but was able to catch himself the second time before he finally made it to his classroom. Snape had the door halfway closed when a force on the other side stopped it. He pulled the door open once more and was shocked to find Hermione standing there, her eyes flashing fire and one hand pressing on the door so hard her knuckles were white.
Snape struggled to keep the shock from his face as he said, "Come in, Miss Granger." Hermione walked past him and into the classroom, positively shaking with suppressed anger. She released a little bit of it, however, when she threw her bag down furiously. Snape slowly closed the door and counted the steps to the chair behind his desk. The distance was one short of his robes attacking him again. He sat down and turned to face Hermione, who was pacing in front of his desk.
"What do you want?" he asked after a moment.
"I wanted to ask you a question," she said, still pacing. Snape remained quiet, waiting for her to continue. When she didn't after several minutes, he spoke again.
"Well? Are you going to ask me or are you going to continue wearing a hole in my floor?" Hermione came to a stop in front of his desk and turned to face him.
"What the heck did you DO to me?" she yelled, slamming her hands on his desk and making an even louder sound than Snape himself had made the first time he'd fallen.
"You're not that dim-witted, Miss Granger," he said, absolutely nonplused at her outburst. "Surely you've figured it out by now."
"You've turned me into one of those frumpy twits with no brains!" Snape kept his face passive and made no comment. "They care more about hair and make-up than about actually passing an exam! How well I do in school is important to me, Professor Snape." This time, Snape raised his eyebrows in a sarcastic 'No kidding?' look. Hermione ignored him. Sighing heavily, she said, "Not that I actually think you're going to tell me, but how long will the spell last?" Snape shrugged dramatically.
"I have no idea, Miss Granger." Hermione nodded slowly.
"I expected that," she whispered. Then she straightened to her fullest height and stuck her chin out in that determined way Snape had come to know and slightly admire. "Then so be it," she said before grabbing her bag and walking briskly out the door, snapping it shut behind her. Snape smiled his first genuine smile in weeks before turning his attention to the several stacks of paper on his desk.
~
Over the next week, the spell on Hermione steadily progressed. It went from being an occasional "totally" or "like, whatever" to an hour's long "she said, then I said, then she said" conversation with Harry. Poor Harry was tempted to jump off one of the towers after that. Usually Hermione would realize what she had done right afterward, but it was like she had a whole new personality by the end of the week. On Friday, she arrived in the Great Hall twenty minutes late. She was wearing make-up, her hair was pulled back, and her school robe was open several more inches than what it usually was. She threw her bag under the table as she took a seat next to Ron. She smiled at the boys before smacking her gum in an incredibly annoying manner.
"Uh, good morning, Hermione," Ron said, looking hesitant.
"Morning," she said. She looked around the Great Hall for a moment before her eyes grew wide. "Oh! Did you hear about Patrick Thomas? He got caught cheating! I wonder what Dumbledore's going to do to him? Do you think he'll get expelled? Wouldn't that be terrible! He's only a first year, you know. I hope Dumbledore goes easy on him. Oh! Christie is sitting next to Mark! I wonder what's going on with those two? She's had a crush on him for the longest time, you know. I'm going to ask her. 'Bye guys!" All of this was said on practically one breath, but Hermione didn't look winded. Quite the contrary, actually. Her cheeks were tinted red and her eyes bright with the prospect of gossiping with a girlfriend. It was Harry and Ron who looked winded even though they never got the chance to respond to any of Hermione's questions/comments.
"Harry," Ron said meekly.
"Yeah?"
"When is Hermione going to be back to normal? This new Hermione is about to drive me insane!"
"I have no idea, Ron. We can only hope that the spell wears off during the day." But it didn't. Hermione continued to act like Harry's and Ron's worst nightmare. She smacked her gum so loudly in McGonagall's class that she was asked (very curtly) to spit it out. Her response of, "Chill lady," got her "excused" for the rest of the lesson. The only teacher who wasn't punishing Hermione for her behavior was Snape. He actually seemed to be enjoying it when she lazily raised her hand to answer a question but got it wrong (her only reaction to that was shrugging her shoulders nonchalantly) or when she dropped her entire handful of newt's eyes and darted around the room yelling, "I'll get them! I'll get them!"
"Of course he's enjoying it. He's twisted!" hissed Ron as they worked on their individual potions.
"I know that, Ron," said Harry. He looked at Hermione and sighed. "It's been a week already! You would think the spell would be gone by know. I just hope it doesn't last too much longer or else I will wind up jumping off of that tower." A small chuckle issued from behind them. Harry and Ron turned around and found Snape standing there, a small smile on his lips.
"Not enjoying Miss Granger's new personality?" Neither one of them moved. Snape looked in Hermione's direction. "I think it's a major improvement. I may cast it on her again so it will last longer." He looked back at the boys and absolutely delighted in the fact that they had horror-struck expressions at that last statement. Snape's smile became a little more prominent before he walked away. Harry heard Ron mutter, "evil, evil, evil" over and over again, but Harry blocked him out as his mind worked feverishly on a plan to get revenge for Hermione. He thought of and discarded plan after plan. None of them were good enough. Hermione had been humiliated this week, so whatever they did in retaliation had to be good. Then, a thought hit Harry. A wonderful, evilly brilliant plan formed in his mind as they were released from their last class. Harry grabbed Ron immediately and took him to the Room of Requirement. Harry told Ron his plan, and Ron feigned jealously over not having come up with it himself.
~
Snape was on duty that night, Harry knew. It was the perfect opportunity to get him back for what he had done to Hermione. Under the cover of the Disillusionment Charm, Harry and Ron set out after Snape. They found him patrolling a corridor on the second floor. The boys split up; Harry would approach from behind and Ron was going around to distract Snape and get him to turn his back to Harry. Suddenly, Ron yelled, "Yo! Professor Snape!" As planned, Snape turned to face the voice, giving Harry full access to his back. Harry quickly cast the spell as Ron shot off green sparks. Realizing they were on different sides of him, Snape pressed his back against the wall and looked from one end to the other.
"Getting me back for your friend, boys?" he asked. "This is a very cowardly manner in which to do it. I can't even see you to defend myself properly." Harry and Ron immediately got rid of the charm so Snape could see them. Snape fired one spell at Harry and one at Ron. Harry got hit and was propelled backward into the wall, stunning him slightly. Ron was left to defend himself against Snape. He threw charm after charm at the Potions Master, but each one missed. Snape managed to hit Ron with a charm of his own between Ron's spells. Ron doubled over and stumbled backward from shock.
"There," he said, putting his wand away. "Now I suggest you and Potter get back to the common room before I give you a detention for being out of bed after hours." Ron stood and walked quickly to Harry. After helping Harry to his feet, they ran like crazy to the Gryffindor common room.
"He let us go, Harry. Can you believe it? He let us go!" Ron said once the portrait closed.
"I know," Harry said, still slightly shocked.
"But why did he let us go? We were out of bed after hours and we hit him with a spell. He should be expelling us right now!"
"Keep your voice down, Ron! I know he should be expelling us as we speak." They both grew quiet for a moment, thinking.
"Maybe," Ron said, looking scared, "maybe the spell he got me with is worse than getting expelled. Maybe he thinks it will be punishment enough! Oh Merlin!" Ron sank weakly onto the overstuffed sofa.
"No, I don't think that's it. I know this sounds crazy, Ron, but I think he's actually enjoying this. The way he's been smiling lately and stuff...Have you ever seen that man smile in the over six years we've been here? I sure haven't! And now he let us go after we were caught out of bed AND after we ambushed him! There's no other explanation..." Ron looked slightly pale, but he nodded in agreement.
"Listen, Ron, there's no use worrying about it. Let's just go to bed, and we'll deal with whatever happens when it happens. Okay?" Ron nodded before standing. As he and Harry walked up the stairs leading to their dorm, Ron felt like he was going to be sick.
*************************
I know this chapter wasn't very funny, but the next one will be! Just wait until you see what I've got in mind for Snape this time. :)
I need suggestions for what Snape could do to the trio because I'm running out of stuff. Right now, I'm only planning on maybe two more chapters. Unless I get suggestions, that is. Come on, people! Put on your thinking caps and help me out!
~IMPORTANT!~ I meant no offence to anyone with my descriptions of valley-girls. I just thought that this is most likely Hermione's opinion on the subject anyway and had her act accordingly.
Thanks to Lissie89, HIEIhotsause, ckat44, Kyra Invictus Black, HunnySnowBunny, Potter-luvver, La Pamplemousse, Lily of the Shadow, Slytherian Angel, Jade Kirk and Max LBC, Mary Snape, KrazyKate, Daxi, Sammy Rettop Malfoy, Carlin, Draco-Malfoy-Severus-Luva, and midniteblusoccer for the wonderful reviews! Forgive me if I've forgotten anyone. :)
~MESSAGES~
HIEIhotsause: Thanks for the earrings! Aren't they beautiful? :) What's my next reward?
HunnySnowBunny: I hate to disappoint you, but I'm not planning on making it a SS/HG fic, but If anybody wants me to, I can write two endings to the story. One where they end up together and one where they don't. What do you think?
Mary Snape: I know Snape is a very powerful wizard, and he could kick their butts with both hands tied behind his back, but this is just for fun. I think of it as Harry's, Ron's, and Hermione's fantasy. And Snape does get some revenge on the trio, but it's mostly about them getting back at him. If you have any suggestions about what he could do to them, I would love to hear them (because between you and me, I'm starting to run on empty in the "idea" department)!
KrazyKate: At this point in time, I'm not planning on making it SS/HG. I could, however, write two endings: one where they end up together and one where they don't. What do you think?
Daxi: Thank you for telling me to take my time. I usually try to post a new chapter in at least three weeks, but I've had a lot going on lately so it's taken longer.
midniteblusoccer: I actually didn't have to take the SAT (yet) just the PSAT, but it still sucks. We find out our scores in December, and I'm dreading it. I did fairly well on my midterms, though, so they kind of made up for the PSAT.
Big hug to my beta, Lissie! Isn't she the best?
Disclaimer: I own nothing; J. K. Rowling owns everything. So what's new?
**********
Chapter 7- 'Phase Five' continued
Hermione rolled over and opened her eyes. The curtains around her four- poster were drawn closed, but the rising sun had managed to find just the right sliver to pass through to reach 'Mione's eyes. She blinked rapidly for a moment before bringing a hand to her face to rub the last of sleep away. Then her memory flooded with the thoughts of spells, dark corridors, and a Potion's Master. When the memory of the spell hit, Hermione sat up immediately and threw the curtains aside. She half-ran, half-stumbled across the seventh-year girls' dorm to the bathroom, not even bothering to keep quiet so she wouldn't wake the other sleeping girls. She had to know what Snape had done. When Hermione reached the bathroom, she turned toward the mirror. What she saw was...absolutely nothing. She could see herself, of course. Her bushy, brown hair was spread in every direction from tossing and turning all night, and she was squinting her eyes sleepily. There was nothing out of the ordinary. Hermione ran a hand through her curly mane in an exasperated manner before leaving the bathroom to prepare for the approaching day. The other girls were already beginning to stir, so Hermione grabbed her clothes quickly and returned to the bathroom.
Thirty minutes later, Hermione threw her bag under the Gryffindor House table in the Great Hall and plopped down next to Harry with Ron sitting across from them. Both looked Hermione over closely, looking for the slightest abnormality. Finding none, they returned their questioning gazes to her face. Hermione shrugged.
"I don't know what he did, but I found nothing unusual when I woke up this morning."
"Do you think it didn't work?" asked Ron.
"I highly doubt it," Hermione responded, pulling a plate a bacon toward her. "It just might take a few days for us to see whatever effect it's supposed to have."
"I wonder what spell it was?" Harry said.
"I would like that question answered myself," Hermione said, "because I have a feeling that whatever it is, it's going to highly embarrass me. But there's really no way to know, is there? Short of asking Snape himself, I mean. Besides, I don't remember the incantation he used. I guess we'll just have to wait and see." At that moment, all three Gryffindors turned slowly and looked at the teacher's table. Professor Snape was sitting in his usual spot. There was food on his plate, and he was pushing it around with a fork, but he wasn't paying any attention to it. His gaze was on the trio. His eyes were narrowed, and his mouth was turned up slightly at the corners. Even though the cloths pin was still firmly in place, he looked quite foreboding. Hermione, who normally would have taken this opportunity to grin or even wink in a sarcastic/evil manner at Snape, looked slightly sick all of a sudden. She pushed her plate away and slumped over, looking defeated. Harry and Ron looked at her, concern shining brightly in their eyes.
"Are you okay?" Ron asked. Hermione didn't even attempt to mumble a response.
"No matter what Snape did to you, remember that you got him, too," Ron said. Hermione smiled a little at him.
"True," she said, brightening slightly. "Plus, the spell I cast starts working within the next few minutes while it seems his will take some time." Feeling better, Hermione pulled her plate back in front of her and started eating. They ate their breakfast for several minutes in silence, with Hermione throwing gleeful glances at Snape every so often. She was looking so much happier that Harry felt very reluctant to tell her what had just occurred to him. He sighed heavily before speaking.
"Did you ever think that now he knows for sure it's us doing this to him, he'll go to Dumbledore?" Hermione's fork was halfway to her mouth, but it never made it. She set it back down with a clang and threw a frightened look at Dumbledore sitting in the middle of the teachers' table. Harry and Ron looked at him, too. He didn't look at all angry; quite the contrary, actually. He was laughing at something McGonagall had just said.
Unbeknownst to the trio, Snape saw the way they were looking at the Headmaster. He knew exactly why they were looking at Dumbledore like that, too. They were worried that Snape had gone running to the Headmaster, complaining that a group of students were picking on him. Severus snorted. 'Not hardly,' he thought. Snape, in fact, had not gone to Dumbledore and told him about what his three precious students had been up to since the start of school. Oh, he had been planning on talking to Dumbledore about his suspicions, but then he decided to wait until he had proof. But now...He kept thinking he would go to Dumbledore by the end of the day, but in the back of his mind he knew he wouldn't. That would mean admitting defeat and giving up, and there was no way Severus was going to let those...those children win the war. Suddenly, Snape smiled evilly. Soon, very soon, the spell he had cast on Hermione would begin working. If it hadn't already, that is. Snape swiped his napkin across his pale lips before throwing it onto the table next to his plate and standing up. Even though he had the clothespin firmly in place, he could still smell the stink of a pigsty. His appetite had deserted him the moment he had walked into the Great Hall, but he had stayed anyway to prove a point. Now he could return to his office for a couple of hours of peace before the first horde of students invaded his space.
As Severus walked the familiar path behind the rest of the professors seated at the Head Table, his mind had already moved on to other matters. He went over the first lesson plan in his head as he walked down the three steps leading from the raised platform the Head Table sat on. 'First,' he thought, 'they will prepare the ingredients for the fairly weak truth potion. Second-' Snape made it to step three of the lesson plan (and ten steps away from the platform) when, suddenly, someone tackled him from behind. It was such a shock that he barely had time to put his arms in front of his face. His elbows hit the floor first, and pain shot through his arms as the rest of his body followed, making a loud THUD sound. His nose hit the back of his arm, breaking the clothespin and flooding his senses with a smell worse than the vomit. Snape buried his face in his arms in an attempt to block out the odor, but the weight of something still wrapped around his legs made him lift up his head to look. He was still in the Great Hall, surrounded by the entire student body, all of whom where laughing their hardest. Embarrassment caused the anger to flow even hotter in his blood as hundreds of the perfect curses he could use on whoever was still wrapped around his legs ran through his mind.
Snape whipped his head around furiously, preparing to curse whoever it was to the eighth level of hell. Who he saw was...no one. There was no student still holding on to his legs, no student standing above him glowing with pride from having taken down the Potions Master. But it felt like someone was still hanging on to him, and this was a very confusing feeling. Ignoring the laughter, Snape tried to move the lower part of his body. It was then he discovered why it felt like there was an anchor on his legs. His cloak was wrapped around him so tightly it was almost to the point of cutting off circulation. Snape began moving his legs rapidly, trying to disentangle himself from the cloak. After about a minute, Dumbledore came to his rescue, albeit with tears in his eyes.
"Just be still for a moment, Severus," he said. "I believe it will loosen shortly." So, Snape stopped moving and laid perfectly still on the floor of the Great Hall. Most of the laughter had quieted, but some students were still smiling broadly in Snape's direction. He didn't look at any of them, though. He counted the floor tiles around him instead. Then Dumbledore was proved correct. The cloak went limp, releasing his legs. Dumbledore helped Snape to his feet and held onto his arm to keep him from toppling over. Satisfied Snape wasn't going to fall again, Dumbledore let go of his arm.
"Thank you, Headmaster," Snape said while straightening his cloak. He had just turned to leave when a very high-pitched giggle rang out, followed by, "Oh my God, that was totally awesome!" Snape froze as the rest of the Great Hall turned in the direction of the Gryffindor table, no doubt looking for either that Parkinson or Patil girl because it had sounded just like them. Snape knew exactly who it was, though, without even having to look. 'And it's about bloody time,' he thought. Following the rest of the Great Hall, Snape turned his head to look at the Gryffindors. His eyes immediately landed on the source of the outburst: Hermione Granger. Her eyes were wide with shock , her face pale. Both hands were covering her mouth which, Snape was sure, was wide open under the palms. The only other two people staring at Hermione (as far as Snape could tell) were sitting across the table from her; namely Potter and Weasley. Both of their mouths were wide open, too. Snape smiled evilly. The spell was finally beginning to work. By the end of the week, Hermione would be the one thing she hated most: a flirtatious swallow valley-girl. Then the smile disappeared as a thought hit him. Snape looked down at his robe, up at Hermione, then at his robe once more. 'That's it,' he thought. Hermione must have charmed his robes to wrap around his legs in an attempt to trip him. It was a fairly clever spell, especially when he wasn't expecting it the first time. It would probably take a few tries (and a few falls) before he figured out how many steps it took for the robe to wrap around him and how to remain standing upright once it did. After that, however, it would be fairly easy to muddle through the day until the spell wore off. In the back of his mind, he was a little disappointed. He had hoped that Hermione's spell would have been more of a challenge. 'Oh well,' he thought as he returned his gaze to Hermione. She no longer looked like she was going to pass out, but she still looked ill. Suddenly, she caught Snape's eye.
His evil grin returned as he walked out of the Great Hall, counting steps along the way. The Entrance Hall was deserted which, in Snape's mind, was a good thing. There would be no one around to witness his robes wrap around his legs again, most likely causing him to fall. Thirty steps outside of the Great Hall, the same sensation of someone tackling him happened too quickly to prevent the following fall. Luckily, however, Snape had enough warning that he was able to twist his body so he would land on his back instead of his face. He laid in the middle of the Entrance Hall for exactly two minutes before the robes lost their strength. He stood and continued on to the dungeons. He fell again thirty steps later, but was able to catch himself the second time before he finally made it to his classroom. Snape had the door halfway closed when a force on the other side stopped it. He pulled the door open once more and was shocked to find Hermione standing there, her eyes flashing fire and one hand pressing on the door so hard her knuckles were white.
Snape struggled to keep the shock from his face as he said, "Come in, Miss Granger." Hermione walked past him and into the classroom, positively shaking with suppressed anger. She released a little bit of it, however, when she threw her bag down furiously. Snape slowly closed the door and counted the steps to the chair behind his desk. The distance was one short of his robes attacking him again. He sat down and turned to face Hermione, who was pacing in front of his desk.
"What do you want?" he asked after a moment.
"I wanted to ask you a question," she said, still pacing. Snape remained quiet, waiting for her to continue. When she didn't after several minutes, he spoke again.
"Well? Are you going to ask me or are you going to continue wearing a hole in my floor?" Hermione came to a stop in front of his desk and turned to face him.
"What the heck did you DO to me?" she yelled, slamming her hands on his desk and making an even louder sound than Snape himself had made the first time he'd fallen.
"You're not that dim-witted, Miss Granger," he said, absolutely nonplused at her outburst. "Surely you've figured it out by now."
"You've turned me into one of those frumpy twits with no brains!" Snape kept his face passive and made no comment. "They care more about hair and make-up than about actually passing an exam! How well I do in school is important to me, Professor Snape." This time, Snape raised his eyebrows in a sarcastic 'No kidding?' look. Hermione ignored him. Sighing heavily, she said, "Not that I actually think you're going to tell me, but how long will the spell last?" Snape shrugged dramatically.
"I have no idea, Miss Granger." Hermione nodded slowly.
"I expected that," she whispered. Then she straightened to her fullest height and stuck her chin out in that determined way Snape had come to know and slightly admire. "Then so be it," she said before grabbing her bag and walking briskly out the door, snapping it shut behind her. Snape smiled his first genuine smile in weeks before turning his attention to the several stacks of paper on his desk.
~
Over the next week, the spell on Hermione steadily progressed. It went from being an occasional "totally" or "like, whatever" to an hour's long "she said, then I said, then she said" conversation with Harry. Poor Harry was tempted to jump off one of the towers after that. Usually Hermione would realize what she had done right afterward, but it was like she had a whole new personality by the end of the week. On Friday, she arrived in the Great Hall twenty minutes late. She was wearing make-up, her hair was pulled back, and her school robe was open several more inches than what it usually was. She threw her bag under the table as she took a seat next to Ron. She smiled at the boys before smacking her gum in an incredibly annoying manner.
"Uh, good morning, Hermione," Ron said, looking hesitant.
"Morning," she said. She looked around the Great Hall for a moment before her eyes grew wide. "Oh! Did you hear about Patrick Thomas? He got caught cheating! I wonder what Dumbledore's going to do to him? Do you think he'll get expelled? Wouldn't that be terrible! He's only a first year, you know. I hope Dumbledore goes easy on him. Oh! Christie is sitting next to Mark! I wonder what's going on with those two? She's had a crush on him for the longest time, you know. I'm going to ask her. 'Bye guys!" All of this was said on practically one breath, but Hermione didn't look winded. Quite the contrary, actually. Her cheeks were tinted red and her eyes bright with the prospect of gossiping with a girlfriend. It was Harry and Ron who looked winded even though they never got the chance to respond to any of Hermione's questions/comments.
"Harry," Ron said meekly.
"Yeah?"
"When is Hermione going to be back to normal? This new Hermione is about to drive me insane!"
"I have no idea, Ron. We can only hope that the spell wears off during the day." But it didn't. Hermione continued to act like Harry's and Ron's worst nightmare. She smacked her gum so loudly in McGonagall's class that she was asked (very curtly) to spit it out. Her response of, "Chill lady," got her "excused" for the rest of the lesson. The only teacher who wasn't punishing Hermione for her behavior was Snape. He actually seemed to be enjoying it when she lazily raised her hand to answer a question but got it wrong (her only reaction to that was shrugging her shoulders nonchalantly) or when she dropped her entire handful of newt's eyes and darted around the room yelling, "I'll get them! I'll get them!"
"Of course he's enjoying it. He's twisted!" hissed Ron as they worked on their individual potions.
"I know that, Ron," said Harry. He looked at Hermione and sighed. "It's been a week already! You would think the spell would be gone by know. I just hope it doesn't last too much longer or else I will wind up jumping off of that tower." A small chuckle issued from behind them. Harry and Ron turned around and found Snape standing there, a small smile on his lips.
"Not enjoying Miss Granger's new personality?" Neither one of them moved. Snape looked in Hermione's direction. "I think it's a major improvement. I may cast it on her again so it will last longer." He looked back at the boys and absolutely delighted in the fact that they had horror-struck expressions at that last statement. Snape's smile became a little more prominent before he walked away. Harry heard Ron mutter, "evil, evil, evil" over and over again, but Harry blocked him out as his mind worked feverishly on a plan to get revenge for Hermione. He thought of and discarded plan after plan. None of them were good enough. Hermione had been humiliated this week, so whatever they did in retaliation had to be good. Then, a thought hit Harry. A wonderful, evilly brilliant plan formed in his mind as they were released from their last class. Harry grabbed Ron immediately and took him to the Room of Requirement. Harry told Ron his plan, and Ron feigned jealously over not having come up with it himself.
~
Snape was on duty that night, Harry knew. It was the perfect opportunity to get him back for what he had done to Hermione. Under the cover of the Disillusionment Charm, Harry and Ron set out after Snape. They found him patrolling a corridor on the second floor. The boys split up; Harry would approach from behind and Ron was going around to distract Snape and get him to turn his back to Harry. Suddenly, Ron yelled, "Yo! Professor Snape!" As planned, Snape turned to face the voice, giving Harry full access to his back. Harry quickly cast the spell as Ron shot off green sparks. Realizing they were on different sides of him, Snape pressed his back against the wall and looked from one end to the other.
"Getting me back for your friend, boys?" he asked. "This is a very cowardly manner in which to do it. I can't even see you to defend myself properly." Harry and Ron immediately got rid of the charm so Snape could see them. Snape fired one spell at Harry and one at Ron. Harry got hit and was propelled backward into the wall, stunning him slightly. Ron was left to defend himself against Snape. He threw charm after charm at the Potions Master, but each one missed. Snape managed to hit Ron with a charm of his own between Ron's spells. Ron doubled over and stumbled backward from shock.
"There," he said, putting his wand away. "Now I suggest you and Potter get back to the common room before I give you a detention for being out of bed after hours." Ron stood and walked quickly to Harry. After helping Harry to his feet, they ran like crazy to the Gryffindor common room.
"He let us go, Harry. Can you believe it? He let us go!" Ron said once the portrait closed.
"I know," Harry said, still slightly shocked.
"But why did he let us go? We were out of bed after hours and we hit him with a spell. He should be expelling us right now!"
"Keep your voice down, Ron! I know he should be expelling us as we speak." They both grew quiet for a moment, thinking.
"Maybe," Ron said, looking scared, "maybe the spell he got me with is worse than getting expelled. Maybe he thinks it will be punishment enough! Oh Merlin!" Ron sank weakly onto the overstuffed sofa.
"No, I don't think that's it. I know this sounds crazy, Ron, but I think he's actually enjoying this. The way he's been smiling lately and stuff...Have you ever seen that man smile in the over six years we've been here? I sure haven't! And now he let us go after we were caught out of bed AND after we ambushed him! There's no other explanation..." Ron looked slightly pale, but he nodded in agreement.
"Listen, Ron, there's no use worrying about it. Let's just go to bed, and we'll deal with whatever happens when it happens. Okay?" Ron nodded before standing. As he and Harry walked up the stairs leading to their dorm, Ron felt like he was going to be sick.
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I know this chapter wasn't very funny, but the next one will be! Just wait until you see what I've got in mind for Snape this time. :)
I need suggestions for what Snape could do to the trio because I'm running out of stuff. Right now, I'm only planning on maybe two more chapters. Unless I get suggestions, that is. Come on, people! Put on your thinking caps and help me out!
~IMPORTANT!~ I meant no offence to anyone with my descriptions of valley-girls. I just thought that this is most likely Hermione's opinion on the subject anyway and had her act accordingly.