A/N: This has been the longest it has ever taken me to update a story. A
lot has been going on, and I haven't had much time to write. I am so glad
Christmas break is right around the corner. Anyway, I hope this chapter was
worth the wait!
Thanks to Professor Farfie, HIEIhotsause, wildchild8, Luva, MedNar, Tropic Of Scorpio, La Pamplemousse, Lissie89, :), Linda E., and RivanKnight.
Thanks to everyone who suggested things for me to do to the trio! The suggestions have been very helpful, and you have no idea how much I appreciate all of them!
~MESSAGES~
Professor Farfie: That's a great idea! I'm going to try to use that in the next chapter.
HIEIhotsause: I love your idea for switching their minds. In fact...Oh, never mind. Just read the chapter and you'll see what I mean! The gifts keep getting better. Thanks for the bunny. He's really sweet! I haven't come up with a name, yet, though. What do you think about cotton? :) I can't wait for my next gift!
Luva: You're the first to say anything about his warped sense of humor. I'm glad you enjoy it. It's so much fun to write! When I started this fic, I wasn't planning on ending it with Snape and Hermione together, but I may write an alternative ending where they do end up together. We'll just have to see, though. :)
MedNar: LOL! Yeah, they scare me a lot, too. You'll just have to wait until I write the end of the story to see what happens (I'm not even sure what's going to happen myself). Do you mean will Hermione and Snape wind up together in the end? At this point in time, no. I may, however, write an alternative ending in which they do. We'll just have to see... :)
Lissie89: Hehe, I'm glad the story is keeping you on the edge of your seat. Hmm...I really like the Quidditch match idea. Thanks!
Linda E.: Thanks for all the great ideas! I don't know what I'm going to do in the next chapter because of all the great ideas people have given me!
RivanKnight: I'm glad you like the story! I'm not sure what I'm going to do with Hermione and Snape in the end because I wasn't necessarily aiming for them to wind up together. I may write an alternative ending, though, in which they do. I guess we'll see... :)
I bow down to the best beta in the world: Lissie!
Disclaimer: I own nothing; J. K. Rowling owns everything. So what's new?
**********
Chapter 8 - 'Phase Six'
Harry and Ron woke up simultaneously and fought with the curtains surrounding each of their beds to get loose. They came face to face for the first time since getting hit with Snape's spells. They looked themselves over first before looking at each other. Neither one of them felt or looked any different. Harry sighed and rubbed a hand over his face and through his hair, making it stand on end.
"I hate the waiting," Harry said.
"Yeah," mumbled Ron. "What do you think he did?"
"There's no telling," said Harry, staring at the floor. They were silent for a moment before Harry chuckled slightly.
"What?" asked Ron.
"I can't wait until the spell we got him with starts working," he said. This cheered Ron up, and he chuckled slightly, too. Then both boys turned to their trunks to find their clothes.
~
"Have you seen Hermione?" Ron asked Ginny once he and Harry were seated at Gryffindor's House Table.
"Not since yesterday," she said. "What's been up with her this week? Practically all she's talked about is hair and makeup, and I don't think she opened even one of her books this weekend. Do you two know what's going on?" Harry only shrugged as Ron's face fell. They had avoided Hermione all weekend, hoping that they wouldn't have to talk to her again until the spell wore off. Neither Harry nor Ron were eager to listen to any more gossip. Suddenly, the girl in question appeared in the doorway. Ron jabbed Harry in the side and motioned toward the door. The boys breathed a sigh of relief as they looked at her. Hermione looked normal, thank goodness. Her hair hung in an unruly mess around her shoulders, and it didn't look like she had used any makeup to cover the bags under her eyes. She yawned sleepily as she joined the boys at the table and threw her bag down.
"Good morning," they whispered quietly. Hermione merely mumbled as she pulled food toward her.
She finally woke up after a few minutes and asked the boys, "Was this past week absolutely horrible?" Harry and Ron shot each other worried looks.
"You don't remember?" Harry asked. Hermione narrowed her eyes as if in thought.
"Vaguely but not much. Everybody has been giving me really weird looks this morning. What did I do?"
"What did you do? You went all girly on us," said Ron. "Hair, makeup, gum smacking...You didn't even stop to breathe when you spoke. I'm surprised McGonagall didn't kill you when you told her to "chill lady" on Friday after she told you to spit your gum out." Hermione's mouth had fallen open as she stared at Ron with a look of pure horror.
"I did WHAT?!" she shrieked.
"Shh!" said Harry. "Keep your voice down."
"Snape! Oh, I'm going to give that man a piece of my mind right now," she said, standing up and started toward the Head Table. Ron reached up and grabbed her robe, yanking on it slightly to make her sit. She plopped down next to him.
"You can't, Hermione. He could still get us into a lot of trouble," Harry said, trying to reason with her. Hermione looked crestfallen.
"I know something that will cheer you up, though. We"-he nodded toward Ron- "got him back for you." This bit of news did cheer her up.
"What did you do?" she asked while looking at Snape. Harry and Ron smiled.
"You'll see soon enough," Ron said. "Only..." Hermione looked at him sharply. "What?"
"He got Harry and me with something. We don't know what yet." Hermione made a noise in her throat and looked back at Snape. The professor caught her eye and raised his glass to her in a salute before drinking deeply.
"Tell me that whatever you two did to him is going to be really bad." Harry and Ron smiled evilly.
"Trust us, Hermione," said Ron.
"It's worse than bad," said Harry.
~
Hermione felt much better after Harry's and Ron's repeated reassurances that Snape's payback was going to be wonderful. Well, wonderful for the trio anyway. Hermione smiled happily (albeit sleepily) as they left the Great Hall for their first class. She was a little caught off guard, however, when Snape's silky voice rang out behind them.
"Miss Granger," he called. The trio stopped and turned to face him. "Come with me, please." He didn't even break his stride as he continued past the three and on toward the dungeons. Hermione fell into step behind him after telling the boys to inform Flitwick of her whereabouts. Snape didn't say another word to Hermione until he was seated behind his desk in the classroom.
"Back to normal, are we?" he asked in a sarcastic manner. Hermione narrowed her eyes at him.
"Yes, sir."
"I'm sure Potter and Weasley were glad when they saw you this morning," he said. This time, Hermione didn't respond at all.
There was silence for a moment or two before Snape said, "Very well. You may go." He reached across his desk and grabbed a stack of papers. "That's all?" Hermione asked. "That's what you brought me here for? Just to comment on my being back to normal?" It was Snape's turn to remain silent. He flipped through the papers, completely ignoring the girl standing before him. Hermione sighed in an aggravated manner before turning to leave. As soon as her hand touched the door, Snape stood and pointed his wand at her. He said the incantation quickly before slipping the wand back into his robes. Hermione felt the spell more than heard it, and she whipped around to face the professor, feeling quite shocked.
"What was THAT?" she yelled. Snape raised his eyebrows in an innocent way.
"I have no idea what you are yelling about, Miss Granger. Now, you really should get to your first class. I have a lot to prepare." Hermione remained frozen, clutching the doorknob hard.
"What did you just do to me?" This time, she was whispering. Doing away with the innocent act, Snape smiled at her.
"We shall see soon enough, won't we? Now," he said, walking around his desk and toward Hermione, "leave me be and go to class." He reached above her head and grabbed the door, pulling it open. "Go," he repeated, a bit more sternly when she didn't move. Hermione looked up at him before stepping into the empty corridor and walking slowly toward Charms class. Hermione's foot was on the first step leading out of the dungeons when she heard something very strange. She turned around and strained her ears, trying to figure out what that sound was. After a moment, she understood. It was laughter; very deep, loud laughter, and it was coming from the potion's classroom. Snape was the only one in the potion's classroom. Hermione's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates, and she came to the conclusion right then and there that Snape was insane, and there was no telling what he had done to her this time. Hermione hurriedly left the dungeons and practically ran to Flitwick's class. She didn't get a chance to tell Harry and Ron what had happened until they were seated in DADA class.
"He got you with a spell?" Ron said, even more horrified than Hermione.
"That means he got all three of us at once," said Harry, also shocked.
"Just like that? As you were leaving the room?" continued Ron.
"I know, Harry," said Hermione. "I wonder if we got our own forms of embarrassment or if all of our spells are connected somehow?"
"No warning at all? I mean, your hand is on the door and poof"-Ron threw his hands in the air-"you're hit?"
"Yes, Ron," Hermione growled.
"That's a good question, Hermione," whispered Harry. "My question is: When do we find that out?"
"Probably by tomorrow morning," said Hermione.
"Great. Lots of restful sleep for me tonight," said Ron, smacking his head against his desk with a loud THUD!
~
(A/N: This next section gets a little confusing. From now on, when I refer to either Harry, Ron, or Hermione, I am usually referring to their mind/personality and not their body, unless they are talking to each other around other people. You'll see what I mean in a minute. I'm sorry if anyone gets confused!)
Hermione didn't sleep well that night. Every time she managed to fall asleep, she would dream of all the awful things Snape could have done and would wake up with a racing heart and shallow breath. She finally fell asleep from sheer exhaustion around four and slept fitfully until a little past dawn. Hermione was tempted to skip all of her classes and sleep in, but the thought of failing those classes finally convinced her to open her eyes. The first thing that came to her was that the bed felt weird. Not weird in an uncomfortable way, but it was definitely not her bed. Hermione sat straight up, confused and a little frightened. The curtains around the bed were too thick to see out of, so she began looking for the opening. Once she found it, she very carefully drew them apart so she could peak out. Even though things were a little blurry, she could tell that she wasn't even in the girls' dorm anymore. She was sleeping in a bed in the boys' dorm.
Hermione got out of the bed quickly and looked around. No matter how many times she blinked and rubbed at her eyes everything remained blurry. However, from the many times she had spent there, she knew she had been sleeping in Harry's bed. When Hermione went to rub her eyes again, she put both hands entirely on her face and immediately stopped moving. It didn't feel like her face. She took the hands and ran them down the alien face, over the neck, and onto the chest. 'Oh my god,' she thought, looking down. 'Oh my god!' It wasn't her body! The room began spinning and Hermione thought she was going to faint. To keep from doing just that, she sat on the edge of Harry's bed and put the unknown head between the knees. She sat like this for five minutes with her eyes closed, trying not to think about anything.
When she was a little calmer, Hermione leaned over the bed and felt around on the night stand. Finding the desired glasses, she put them on, and the room came into focus. Hermione got up slowly and made her way to the bathroom. She wasn't very surprised to find Harry staring at her out of the mirror. As Hermione had been trying not to pass out, she couldn't help but think about her predicament and try to figure out how she had gotten this way. Pretty much the only possible cause was Snape. 'So,' she thought, staring at her new self, 'he's switched our minds. Good grief.' Hermione turned and made her way to Ron's bed, wondering if she would find Ron in an entirely different situation or if it would be Harry. 'If he switched all of our minds,' she continued to muse, 'then this will be Harry and Ron is in my body.' At this thought, she groaned very loudly. She knew Ron would freak out horribly when he woke up, and probably wake the whole castle with his screaming. Hermione reached the bed and pulled the curtains aside. There was Ron's body, lying face down in the pillow with red hair sticking up at odd angles. But was it Ron's or Harry's mind occupying the body? Hermione opted for the latter.
"Harry?" she whispered, then stopped. She had fully expected to hear Harry's voice when she spoke, but it was just weird to hear it like that for the first time. She cleared her throat.
"Harry?" she said again, shaking Ron's shoulder. 'This is going to get so confusing,' she thought. Harry (or was it Ron?) mumbled something into the pillow. "Harry!" Her voice was slightly louder this time as she shook Ron's shoulder a little harder.
"Wha'?" came the muffled reply. Ron's body turned over and blinked rapidly for a moment before turning his eyes toward Hermione. Then he screamed, startled. Hermione immediately put her hand to his mouth. 'It's Harry alright,' she thought.
"Shh! Harry it's me, Hermione. Snape has switched all of our brains." Harry had quit screaming into Hermione's palm, but his eyes were incredibly wide. Hermione removed her hand.
"Hermione?" Harry said, starting wide-eyed at himself. "Then that means Ron- "
"-is in my body, yeah," Hermione finished for him. Harry ran a hand through the bright red hair before throwing his legs over the side of the bed.
"We have to go get him before he wakes up and freaks out," he said, heading for the door. Hermione fell into step right behind him. They made it to the stairs leading to the girls' dorm when a thought occurred to Hermione.
"Harry?" she said, eyeing the stairs. "Boys can't go up those stairs, remember? They'll turn into a big slide." Harry stopped with a foot on the first step. He stood there thinking for a moment before he backed up several steps and ran at the stairs. He was airborne for a few seconds before he landed fairly far up. He reached out and grabbed the banister a second before the stairs disappeared and were replaced with a giant slide. Harry struggled for a few seconds before getting his feet underneath him and using the banister to help himself the rest of the way up. Poor Hermione had to use the banister at the very beginning of the slide. Harry held out his hand to her once she was close enough, and he pulled her the rest of the way up. Together they approached Hermione's bed, the occupant of which was snoring loudly.
"I didn't know you snored," whispered Harry, smiling a little. Hermione's cheeks turned red.
"I do not! That's one of Ron's habits that he has now transferred to my body!" Hermione wasn't even sure if that was possible, but she knew that she did not snore! Harry said nothing in response. 'Very wise, Potter,' she thought darkly, still embarrassed. Once they reached the bed, Hermione pulled the curtains aside to expose her sleeping form.
"I see now why you screamed when you first saw me," she said to Harry. "This is creepy."
"Just wait until you start talking to yourself," he said, reaching down to shake who was surely Ron. The sleeping form stirred slightly, but didn't wake.
"Get ready to stop the screaming," Harry commanded, reaching down to shake Ron again. This time, the eyes flew open. Then, like Harry, Ron screamed when he caught sight of himself. Hermione repeated the action of covering the screaming mouth with her hand. Only this time, it was her own mouth she covered. Everything was feeling more surreal by the minute.
"Shh!" said Harry, looking around the dorm quickly. "You don't want to have everyone running up here to see what's wrong, do you?"
"Ron," Hermione said, "it's Hermione and Harry. Snape has switched our brains. I'm in Harry's body, Harry is in your body, and you are in my body." Her own eyes stared at her fearfully.
"Look down and see for yourself." She took her hand off the mouth and stepped back. She watched as Ron looked down at the baby-blue pajamas before using his hands up to feel his new face and bushy hair.
"Oh Merlin," he whispered before looking up into his own face. "Harry?"
"Yeah. Weird feeling, isn't it?"
"Okay," Hermione said, starting toward the stairs, "we each need to get dressed and meet in the Common Room in ten minutes."
"Get dressed?" whispered Ron feebly. Hermione stopped in her tracks. 'Oh no,' she thought, turning to face Harry and Ron. It hadn't occurred to her until now that there was no telling how long they were going to be in each other's bodies. Going to the bathroom, taking showers, changing clothes...One problem after another suddenly presented itself. Nothing had changed for Harry, but Ron and Hermione were both in completely unfamiliar territory.
"Oh God," she said, putting a hand to her forehead. "Harry, go get changed while I help Ron." She looked at him under her hand. He seemed to find this whole situation very amusing because he was smiling. Hermione would have killed him outright if he dared to laugh. He didn't, though; he only struggled to control the smile as he walked past her. She scowled at him, but he didn't seem to notice. Then she looked back at Ron. His cheeks were on fire and he wasn't looking at her.
"Okay, Ron," she said, taking a step closer. Ron stopped picking at the cover and looked at her. She sighed. "Stand up."
~
Harry was sitting in a chair in the Common Room by the time Hermione and Ron slid down the slide to join him. Both of their faces were bright red. It was the most embarrassing situation of Hermione's entire life, and she was sure it was the same for Ron. Harry was still smiling like the fiend he was. Hermione scowled at him again.
"I'm going to change. I'll be right back," she said, bounding up the stairs to the boys' dorm. Harry smiled brightly at Ron, who looked like he was going to be sick.
"Are you okay...Hermione?" he asked, glancing around carefully for eavesdroppers. Ron nodded weakly. Hermione rejoined them a few minutes later and motioned for them to follow her out the portrait hole. They made it to the Room of Requirement without meeting very many people because breakfast had already started. As soon as the door closed, Ron sank into a chair and put his head in his hands.
"Oh my God," he said.
"I know, Ron," Hermione said, patting his shoulder. "I know."
"Well," said Harry cheerfully, "look on the bright side. The spell on Snape should be working today, too." Hermione looked a little happier with that news but not Ron.
"I don't care," he said, looking up at Harry. "Look at me. I'm a girl! I'm Hermione!" Harry narrowed his eyes at Ron.
"I've been a girl before, too, Ron. Remember that little episode in the Three Broomsticks? Remember how amusing you thought that was? At least you're not going to draw any attention like I did." Hermione looked at him sharply, but she decided not to take that as an insult. Not this time, at least. Ron also said nothing.
"Oh, cheer up, Ron," said Hermione, looking back at Ron. "Harry's right. We get to see whatever you two did to Snape today. At least that will make up for this a little." Still, Ron said nothing.
"Oh, come on!" Harry said, grabbing Ron's wrist and pulling him out of the chair. "I'm hungry. It's time for breakfast. We can stop by the Common Room and grab our stuff." And so, they filed out of the Room of Requirement; Ron's body with Harry's mind leading, a pale Hermione with Ron's mind in the middle, and an excited Harry with Hermione's mind bringing up the rear.
~ The Great Hall was bustling with activity when the trio arrived a few minutes later. As they each took their seat, they looked at the head table; no Snape anywhere. Harry smiled and laughed slightly as a thought hit him.
"What?" Hermione (A/N: in Harry's body) asked, grabbing a plate of bacon.
"He probably took a little extra time to get ready this morning," Harry said, the smile growing wider. For the first time all morning, Ron smiled. It was a little timid at first, but it soon grew to the same size as Harry's smile. Hermione couldn't stand the anticipation anymore and had just opened her mouth to say so when the Great Hall doors burst open. Ron, Harry, and Hermione turned to see what was going on. Hermione nearly fell off her seat at the sight before her.
There stood the pale, feared, temperamental, and very powerful Potions Master. On his head was a wide-brimmed purple hat covered with wild flowers, and he was wearing a purple dress that would have been extremely clingy on a woman. The dress had slits on each side that reached a little above his knees. A pair of black shoes completed the outfit. One of the most shocking things about Snape's appearance , however, had nothing to do with the large hat or purple dress. Snape was wearing makeup: very red blush, very red lipstick, and eye shadow. Hermione was so distracted by his pose, though, that she didn't even bother to wonder why (or how) Snape had access to makeup. Snape's right hand was behind his head, on the back of his hat, and his left hand was on his left hip. The lower half of his body was turned to the side, but the upper half was facing the Great Hall. His chin was thrust up slightly, his nose in the air. Then Hermione saw how his right leg was positioned. Both of his legs were bent slightly, but the right knee was turned out some; so much so that the slit couldn't keep it fully covered. There stood Professor Snape, in the doors of the Great Hall, wearing makeup and a hat covered with flowers, and everyone could very clearly see his pale, hairy leg, right up to the knee.
"Hello all,"he said in a deep, husky voice. This time, Hermione really did fall off of her seat.
***********
I've almost made it to a hundred reviews, so please REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW! It would really make my day if I actually did reach a hundred with this chapter. And thanks again to everyone who gave me suggestions. More would be greatly appreciated, so keep those suggestions coming!
Thanks to Professor Farfie, HIEIhotsause, wildchild8, Luva, MedNar, Tropic Of Scorpio, La Pamplemousse, Lissie89, :), Linda E., and RivanKnight.
Thanks to everyone who suggested things for me to do to the trio! The suggestions have been very helpful, and you have no idea how much I appreciate all of them!
~MESSAGES~
Professor Farfie: That's a great idea! I'm going to try to use that in the next chapter.
HIEIhotsause: I love your idea for switching their minds. In fact...Oh, never mind. Just read the chapter and you'll see what I mean! The gifts keep getting better. Thanks for the bunny. He's really sweet! I haven't come up with a name, yet, though. What do you think about cotton? :) I can't wait for my next gift!
Luva: You're the first to say anything about his warped sense of humor. I'm glad you enjoy it. It's so much fun to write! When I started this fic, I wasn't planning on ending it with Snape and Hermione together, but I may write an alternative ending where they do end up together. We'll just have to see, though. :)
MedNar: LOL! Yeah, they scare me a lot, too. You'll just have to wait until I write the end of the story to see what happens (I'm not even sure what's going to happen myself). Do you mean will Hermione and Snape wind up together in the end? At this point in time, no. I may, however, write an alternative ending in which they do. We'll just have to see... :)
Lissie89: Hehe, I'm glad the story is keeping you on the edge of your seat. Hmm...I really like the Quidditch match idea. Thanks!
Linda E.: Thanks for all the great ideas! I don't know what I'm going to do in the next chapter because of all the great ideas people have given me!
RivanKnight: I'm glad you like the story! I'm not sure what I'm going to do with Hermione and Snape in the end because I wasn't necessarily aiming for them to wind up together. I may write an alternative ending, though, in which they do. I guess we'll see... :)
I bow down to the best beta in the world: Lissie!
Disclaimer: I own nothing; J. K. Rowling owns everything. So what's new?
**********
Chapter 8 - 'Phase Six'
Harry and Ron woke up simultaneously and fought with the curtains surrounding each of their beds to get loose. They came face to face for the first time since getting hit with Snape's spells. They looked themselves over first before looking at each other. Neither one of them felt or looked any different. Harry sighed and rubbed a hand over his face and through his hair, making it stand on end.
"I hate the waiting," Harry said.
"Yeah," mumbled Ron. "What do you think he did?"
"There's no telling," said Harry, staring at the floor. They were silent for a moment before Harry chuckled slightly.
"What?" asked Ron.
"I can't wait until the spell we got him with starts working," he said. This cheered Ron up, and he chuckled slightly, too. Then both boys turned to their trunks to find their clothes.
~
"Have you seen Hermione?" Ron asked Ginny once he and Harry were seated at Gryffindor's House Table.
"Not since yesterday," she said. "What's been up with her this week? Practically all she's talked about is hair and makeup, and I don't think she opened even one of her books this weekend. Do you two know what's going on?" Harry only shrugged as Ron's face fell. They had avoided Hermione all weekend, hoping that they wouldn't have to talk to her again until the spell wore off. Neither Harry nor Ron were eager to listen to any more gossip. Suddenly, the girl in question appeared in the doorway. Ron jabbed Harry in the side and motioned toward the door. The boys breathed a sigh of relief as they looked at her. Hermione looked normal, thank goodness. Her hair hung in an unruly mess around her shoulders, and it didn't look like she had used any makeup to cover the bags under her eyes. She yawned sleepily as she joined the boys at the table and threw her bag down.
"Good morning," they whispered quietly. Hermione merely mumbled as she pulled food toward her.
She finally woke up after a few minutes and asked the boys, "Was this past week absolutely horrible?" Harry and Ron shot each other worried looks.
"You don't remember?" Harry asked. Hermione narrowed her eyes as if in thought.
"Vaguely but not much. Everybody has been giving me really weird looks this morning. What did I do?"
"What did you do? You went all girly on us," said Ron. "Hair, makeup, gum smacking...You didn't even stop to breathe when you spoke. I'm surprised McGonagall didn't kill you when you told her to "chill lady" on Friday after she told you to spit your gum out." Hermione's mouth had fallen open as she stared at Ron with a look of pure horror.
"I did WHAT?!" she shrieked.
"Shh!" said Harry. "Keep your voice down."
"Snape! Oh, I'm going to give that man a piece of my mind right now," she said, standing up and started toward the Head Table. Ron reached up and grabbed her robe, yanking on it slightly to make her sit. She plopped down next to him.
"You can't, Hermione. He could still get us into a lot of trouble," Harry said, trying to reason with her. Hermione looked crestfallen.
"I know something that will cheer you up, though. We"-he nodded toward Ron- "got him back for you." This bit of news did cheer her up.
"What did you do?" she asked while looking at Snape. Harry and Ron smiled.
"You'll see soon enough," Ron said. "Only..." Hermione looked at him sharply. "What?"
"He got Harry and me with something. We don't know what yet." Hermione made a noise in her throat and looked back at Snape. The professor caught her eye and raised his glass to her in a salute before drinking deeply.
"Tell me that whatever you two did to him is going to be really bad." Harry and Ron smiled evilly.
"Trust us, Hermione," said Ron.
"It's worse than bad," said Harry.
~
Hermione felt much better after Harry's and Ron's repeated reassurances that Snape's payback was going to be wonderful. Well, wonderful for the trio anyway. Hermione smiled happily (albeit sleepily) as they left the Great Hall for their first class. She was a little caught off guard, however, when Snape's silky voice rang out behind them.
"Miss Granger," he called. The trio stopped and turned to face him. "Come with me, please." He didn't even break his stride as he continued past the three and on toward the dungeons. Hermione fell into step behind him after telling the boys to inform Flitwick of her whereabouts. Snape didn't say another word to Hermione until he was seated behind his desk in the classroom.
"Back to normal, are we?" he asked in a sarcastic manner. Hermione narrowed her eyes at him.
"Yes, sir."
"I'm sure Potter and Weasley were glad when they saw you this morning," he said. This time, Hermione didn't respond at all.
There was silence for a moment or two before Snape said, "Very well. You may go." He reached across his desk and grabbed a stack of papers. "That's all?" Hermione asked. "That's what you brought me here for? Just to comment on my being back to normal?" It was Snape's turn to remain silent. He flipped through the papers, completely ignoring the girl standing before him. Hermione sighed in an aggravated manner before turning to leave. As soon as her hand touched the door, Snape stood and pointed his wand at her. He said the incantation quickly before slipping the wand back into his robes. Hermione felt the spell more than heard it, and she whipped around to face the professor, feeling quite shocked.
"What was THAT?" she yelled. Snape raised his eyebrows in an innocent way.
"I have no idea what you are yelling about, Miss Granger. Now, you really should get to your first class. I have a lot to prepare." Hermione remained frozen, clutching the doorknob hard.
"What did you just do to me?" This time, she was whispering. Doing away with the innocent act, Snape smiled at her.
"We shall see soon enough, won't we? Now," he said, walking around his desk and toward Hermione, "leave me be and go to class." He reached above her head and grabbed the door, pulling it open. "Go," he repeated, a bit more sternly when she didn't move. Hermione looked up at him before stepping into the empty corridor and walking slowly toward Charms class. Hermione's foot was on the first step leading out of the dungeons when she heard something very strange. She turned around and strained her ears, trying to figure out what that sound was. After a moment, she understood. It was laughter; very deep, loud laughter, and it was coming from the potion's classroom. Snape was the only one in the potion's classroom. Hermione's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates, and she came to the conclusion right then and there that Snape was insane, and there was no telling what he had done to her this time. Hermione hurriedly left the dungeons and practically ran to Flitwick's class. She didn't get a chance to tell Harry and Ron what had happened until they were seated in DADA class.
"He got you with a spell?" Ron said, even more horrified than Hermione.
"That means he got all three of us at once," said Harry, also shocked.
"Just like that? As you were leaving the room?" continued Ron.
"I know, Harry," said Hermione. "I wonder if we got our own forms of embarrassment or if all of our spells are connected somehow?"
"No warning at all? I mean, your hand is on the door and poof"-Ron threw his hands in the air-"you're hit?"
"Yes, Ron," Hermione growled.
"That's a good question, Hermione," whispered Harry. "My question is: When do we find that out?"
"Probably by tomorrow morning," said Hermione.
"Great. Lots of restful sleep for me tonight," said Ron, smacking his head against his desk with a loud THUD!
~
(A/N: This next section gets a little confusing. From now on, when I refer to either Harry, Ron, or Hermione, I am usually referring to their mind/personality and not their body, unless they are talking to each other around other people. You'll see what I mean in a minute. I'm sorry if anyone gets confused!)
Hermione didn't sleep well that night. Every time she managed to fall asleep, she would dream of all the awful things Snape could have done and would wake up with a racing heart and shallow breath. She finally fell asleep from sheer exhaustion around four and slept fitfully until a little past dawn. Hermione was tempted to skip all of her classes and sleep in, but the thought of failing those classes finally convinced her to open her eyes. The first thing that came to her was that the bed felt weird. Not weird in an uncomfortable way, but it was definitely not her bed. Hermione sat straight up, confused and a little frightened. The curtains around the bed were too thick to see out of, so she began looking for the opening. Once she found it, she very carefully drew them apart so she could peak out. Even though things were a little blurry, she could tell that she wasn't even in the girls' dorm anymore. She was sleeping in a bed in the boys' dorm.
Hermione got out of the bed quickly and looked around. No matter how many times she blinked and rubbed at her eyes everything remained blurry. However, from the many times she had spent there, she knew she had been sleeping in Harry's bed. When Hermione went to rub her eyes again, she put both hands entirely on her face and immediately stopped moving. It didn't feel like her face. She took the hands and ran them down the alien face, over the neck, and onto the chest. 'Oh my god,' she thought, looking down. 'Oh my god!' It wasn't her body! The room began spinning and Hermione thought she was going to faint. To keep from doing just that, she sat on the edge of Harry's bed and put the unknown head between the knees. She sat like this for five minutes with her eyes closed, trying not to think about anything.
When she was a little calmer, Hermione leaned over the bed and felt around on the night stand. Finding the desired glasses, she put them on, and the room came into focus. Hermione got up slowly and made her way to the bathroom. She wasn't very surprised to find Harry staring at her out of the mirror. As Hermione had been trying not to pass out, she couldn't help but think about her predicament and try to figure out how she had gotten this way. Pretty much the only possible cause was Snape. 'So,' she thought, staring at her new self, 'he's switched our minds. Good grief.' Hermione turned and made her way to Ron's bed, wondering if she would find Ron in an entirely different situation or if it would be Harry. 'If he switched all of our minds,' she continued to muse, 'then this will be Harry and Ron is in my body.' At this thought, she groaned very loudly. She knew Ron would freak out horribly when he woke up, and probably wake the whole castle with his screaming. Hermione reached the bed and pulled the curtains aside. There was Ron's body, lying face down in the pillow with red hair sticking up at odd angles. But was it Ron's or Harry's mind occupying the body? Hermione opted for the latter.
"Harry?" she whispered, then stopped. She had fully expected to hear Harry's voice when she spoke, but it was just weird to hear it like that for the first time. She cleared her throat.
"Harry?" she said again, shaking Ron's shoulder. 'This is going to get so confusing,' she thought. Harry (or was it Ron?) mumbled something into the pillow. "Harry!" Her voice was slightly louder this time as she shook Ron's shoulder a little harder.
"Wha'?" came the muffled reply. Ron's body turned over and blinked rapidly for a moment before turning his eyes toward Hermione. Then he screamed, startled. Hermione immediately put her hand to his mouth. 'It's Harry alright,' she thought.
"Shh! Harry it's me, Hermione. Snape has switched all of our brains." Harry had quit screaming into Hermione's palm, but his eyes were incredibly wide. Hermione removed her hand.
"Hermione?" Harry said, starting wide-eyed at himself. "Then that means Ron- "
"-is in my body, yeah," Hermione finished for him. Harry ran a hand through the bright red hair before throwing his legs over the side of the bed.
"We have to go get him before he wakes up and freaks out," he said, heading for the door. Hermione fell into step right behind him. They made it to the stairs leading to the girls' dorm when a thought occurred to Hermione.
"Harry?" she said, eyeing the stairs. "Boys can't go up those stairs, remember? They'll turn into a big slide." Harry stopped with a foot on the first step. He stood there thinking for a moment before he backed up several steps and ran at the stairs. He was airborne for a few seconds before he landed fairly far up. He reached out and grabbed the banister a second before the stairs disappeared and were replaced with a giant slide. Harry struggled for a few seconds before getting his feet underneath him and using the banister to help himself the rest of the way up. Poor Hermione had to use the banister at the very beginning of the slide. Harry held out his hand to her once she was close enough, and he pulled her the rest of the way up. Together they approached Hermione's bed, the occupant of which was snoring loudly.
"I didn't know you snored," whispered Harry, smiling a little. Hermione's cheeks turned red.
"I do not! That's one of Ron's habits that he has now transferred to my body!" Hermione wasn't even sure if that was possible, but she knew that she did not snore! Harry said nothing in response. 'Very wise, Potter,' she thought darkly, still embarrassed. Once they reached the bed, Hermione pulled the curtains aside to expose her sleeping form.
"I see now why you screamed when you first saw me," she said to Harry. "This is creepy."
"Just wait until you start talking to yourself," he said, reaching down to shake who was surely Ron. The sleeping form stirred slightly, but didn't wake.
"Get ready to stop the screaming," Harry commanded, reaching down to shake Ron again. This time, the eyes flew open. Then, like Harry, Ron screamed when he caught sight of himself. Hermione repeated the action of covering the screaming mouth with her hand. Only this time, it was her own mouth she covered. Everything was feeling more surreal by the minute.
"Shh!" said Harry, looking around the dorm quickly. "You don't want to have everyone running up here to see what's wrong, do you?"
"Ron," Hermione said, "it's Hermione and Harry. Snape has switched our brains. I'm in Harry's body, Harry is in your body, and you are in my body." Her own eyes stared at her fearfully.
"Look down and see for yourself." She took her hand off the mouth and stepped back. She watched as Ron looked down at the baby-blue pajamas before using his hands up to feel his new face and bushy hair.
"Oh Merlin," he whispered before looking up into his own face. "Harry?"
"Yeah. Weird feeling, isn't it?"
"Okay," Hermione said, starting toward the stairs, "we each need to get dressed and meet in the Common Room in ten minutes."
"Get dressed?" whispered Ron feebly. Hermione stopped in her tracks. 'Oh no,' she thought, turning to face Harry and Ron. It hadn't occurred to her until now that there was no telling how long they were going to be in each other's bodies. Going to the bathroom, taking showers, changing clothes...One problem after another suddenly presented itself. Nothing had changed for Harry, but Ron and Hermione were both in completely unfamiliar territory.
"Oh God," she said, putting a hand to her forehead. "Harry, go get changed while I help Ron." She looked at him under her hand. He seemed to find this whole situation very amusing because he was smiling. Hermione would have killed him outright if he dared to laugh. He didn't, though; he only struggled to control the smile as he walked past her. She scowled at him, but he didn't seem to notice. Then she looked back at Ron. His cheeks were on fire and he wasn't looking at her.
"Okay, Ron," she said, taking a step closer. Ron stopped picking at the cover and looked at her. She sighed. "Stand up."
~
Harry was sitting in a chair in the Common Room by the time Hermione and Ron slid down the slide to join him. Both of their faces were bright red. It was the most embarrassing situation of Hermione's entire life, and she was sure it was the same for Ron. Harry was still smiling like the fiend he was. Hermione scowled at him again.
"I'm going to change. I'll be right back," she said, bounding up the stairs to the boys' dorm. Harry smiled brightly at Ron, who looked like he was going to be sick.
"Are you okay...Hermione?" he asked, glancing around carefully for eavesdroppers. Ron nodded weakly. Hermione rejoined them a few minutes later and motioned for them to follow her out the portrait hole. They made it to the Room of Requirement without meeting very many people because breakfast had already started. As soon as the door closed, Ron sank into a chair and put his head in his hands.
"Oh my God," he said.
"I know, Ron," Hermione said, patting his shoulder. "I know."
"Well," said Harry cheerfully, "look on the bright side. The spell on Snape should be working today, too." Hermione looked a little happier with that news but not Ron.
"I don't care," he said, looking up at Harry. "Look at me. I'm a girl! I'm Hermione!" Harry narrowed his eyes at Ron.
"I've been a girl before, too, Ron. Remember that little episode in the Three Broomsticks? Remember how amusing you thought that was? At least you're not going to draw any attention like I did." Hermione looked at him sharply, but she decided not to take that as an insult. Not this time, at least. Ron also said nothing.
"Oh, cheer up, Ron," said Hermione, looking back at Ron. "Harry's right. We get to see whatever you two did to Snape today. At least that will make up for this a little." Still, Ron said nothing.
"Oh, come on!" Harry said, grabbing Ron's wrist and pulling him out of the chair. "I'm hungry. It's time for breakfast. We can stop by the Common Room and grab our stuff." And so, they filed out of the Room of Requirement; Ron's body with Harry's mind leading, a pale Hermione with Ron's mind in the middle, and an excited Harry with Hermione's mind bringing up the rear.
~ The Great Hall was bustling with activity when the trio arrived a few minutes later. As they each took their seat, they looked at the head table; no Snape anywhere. Harry smiled and laughed slightly as a thought hit him.
"What?" Hermione (A/N: in Harry's body) asked, grabbing a plate of bacon.
"He probably took a little extra time to get ready this morning," Harry said, the smile growing wider. For the first time all morning, Ron smiled. It was a little timid at first, but it soon grew to the same size as Harry's smile. Hermione couldn't stand the anticipation anymore and had just opened her mouth to say so when the Great Hall doors burst open. Ron, Harry, and Hermione turned to see what was going on. Hermione nearly fell off her seat at the sight before her.
There stood the pale, feared, temperamental, and very powerful Potions Master. On his head was a wide-brimmed purple hat covered with wild flowers, and he was wearing a purple dress that would have been extremely clingy on a woman. The dress had slits on each side that reached a little above his knees. A pair of black shoes completed the outfit. One of the most shocking things about Snape's appearance , however, had nothing to do with the large hat or purple dress. Snape was wearing makeup: very red blush, very red lipstick, and eye shadow. Hermione was so distracted by his pose, though, that she didn't even bother to wonder why (or how) Snape had access to makeup. Snape's right hand was behind his head, on the back of his hat, and his left hand was on his left hip. The lower half of his body was turned to the side, but the upper half was facing the Great Hall. His chin was thrust up slightly, his nose in the air. Then Hermione saw how his right leg was positioned. Both of his legs were bent slightly, but the right knee was turned out some; so much so that the slit couldn't keep it fully covered. There stood Professor Snape, in the doors of the Great Hall, wearing makeup and a hat covered with flowers, and everyone could very clearly see his pale, hairy leg, right up to the knee.
"Hello all,"he said in a deep, husky voice. This time, Hermione really did fall off of her seat.
***********
I've almost made it to a hundred reviews, so please REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW! It would really make my day if I actually did reach a hundred with this chapter. And thanks again to everyone who gave me suggestions. More would be greatly appreciated, so keep those suggestions coming!