A/N: I'm soooooo sorry it's taken me forever to write this chapter! Geometry has been my absolute worst nightmare! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!
I just want to thank you all for your continued patience. I appreciate it so much! I just hope this chapter was worth the wait!
Thanks to Paula, Gryffindor620, ckat44, KDarkMaiden, Mistress-Genari, Lady Shadowlight, F75, Daxi, mystic, fitsoflaughcramps, citrinecastle, hyz, Sammy Rettop Malfoy Snape, GeekGoddess1, Sparky22424, La Pamplemousse, Silver Queen, Professor Farfie, Patatia, Velvetina, flattenedowl, xSnapeLoverx, RivanKnight, Valerie, Captain-Emily, BaYer04rulz, Elza, Kira R. Chan, Lissie89, nadia, Lyn Me, serena, Ashes Kittyhawk, Desert-Rose6, AllStarSeeker21, Autumn le Moone, creamy1, metsallanna, poetrychik, MedNar, ScarletSparrow, felinefairy911, Gelsey Greeneyes, Lady Shadowlight, Yoshi, Crimson Colored Cloaked Figure, LuciusAndSnapeRock, alicat999, lark277, potts, Lily of the Shadow, Hermie, Darkening Sky, and levans for the absolutely AMAZING reviews!
I'm over 200! THANK YOU SOOOO VERY MUCH!!
MESSAGES!
Mistress-Genari: Thanks for adding me to your favorites! I know their revenges have been tame, but I'm having problems coming up with really good stuff. I have no earthly idea what in the world I'm going to do for the last chapter! Hopefully this chapter is a good followup for the last. And if you have any ideas, please don't hesitate to let me know!
Lady Shadowlight: I'm glad your confusion is all cleared up! It was so confusing to write, so I'm sure it was as equally confusing to read. But not to worry! They're getting their bodies back!
Daxi: LOL! I agree with you! What could be worse than being forced to pretend you're Brittany Spears? :)
fitsoflaughcramps: I'm glad you like the story so much! I hope the pillows didn't hurt! :) Yes, I have heard of Estonia, but I have no idea where it is or anything. Feel free to enlighten me! :)
citrinecastle: HAHAHAHAHAHA! Snape with breasts?!! Can you imagine? HAHAHA! I will definitely give that some thought!
hyz: Thanks for the reassurance that I'm not becoming predicable! And yes, that made perfect sense! Oh, I wish I had the guts to carry out pranks like that. Unfortunately, I don't. sigh I guess that's why I let my imagination run wild.
GeekGoddess1: I'm glad you love the story so much! Actually, they switch back in this chapter. I know it's mean of him to keep them like that, but that's why I love him! :)
Sparky22424: I have no idea why the story cut off like that! Were you ever able to finish it? If not, I can always send the rest to you! Thanks for your wonderful review!
La Pamplemousse: Thank you so much for saying that! You have no idea how much I appreciate your feedback!
Silver Queen: Thank you for that suggestion! That actually has occurred to me before; the only thing stopping me is I think it would be a little hard to write. I may change my mind, though!
Patatia: Thanks for telling me about the website! I visited there and it's an awesome site! I think I'm going to wait, though, until I finish the story. Thanks again!
flattenedowl: LOL! Thank you so much for that great review!
Valerie: Thank you so much for your amazing review, and for inspiring me in this next chapter!
BaYer04rulz: Thank you for your suggestion! I would have done it, but I think everyone feels that it's about time Hermione, Harry, and Ron got put to rights. If you have anymore suggestions, please let me know!
Elza: I just can't get over how WONDERFUL your reviews are. You are an author's dream!! :) I'm glad you liked the last chapter so much. And you're extremely perceptive. Yes, I subtly had Hermione beginning to respect Snape as well because her feelings for him are beginning to change. But I don't outright say that, except in the alternate chapter. LOL! Could you imagine Snape sitting in his office, listening to Brittany Spears? That's an extremely funny thought! Thank you for your amazing feedback!
Lissie89: Thank you, Lis! You are such a good friend!
Serena: Wow, a million reviews? That would give me a heart attack! Thank you for saying so!
AllStarSeeker21: No, no one is going to die. I promise! Snape may wind up knocking one of them out, though, but certainly not kill them! :) Well, since Hermione was in Harry's body, she had to play Seeker, and Harry had to play Keeper since he was in Ron's body. I know it's confusing but they get their own bodies back in this chapter!
Gryffindor620: Yeah, geometry really, really, really sucks. I am so glad it's over! I've been counting down the days 'till summer for what seems like months now. AND IT'S FINALLY HERE!!
metsallanna: Proofs were tough, you're right. In fact, I thought all of it was just downright horrible. I am sooooo glad I never have to take geometry again!
poetrychik: A love potion? Hmm...I will definitely think about it. Thanks for the suggestion!
felinefairy91: Thanks for adding me to your favs! Sorry for the extremely long wait!
Gesley Greeneyes: Actually, I just joined WIKTT, but I haven't had much of a chance to look around yet. Could I still submit it?
LuciusAndSnapeRock: No, please don't delete me! I'm still breathing! I've just had an extremely rough semester and I'm so glad it's over! Thank you for your patience!
alicat999: I know, I'm a terrible person. I would live in front of my computer if my mom didn't keep dragging me away to make me eat, go to school, and do homework. It's her fault, not mine! :)
Hermie: The reason it said I updated is because I added an author's note to explain why I hadn't made contact in so long. But it got removed! I'm sorry for any confusion it caused! Please continue to review.
levans: I'm glad it made you laugh so hard. Thank you for the suggestion! That sounds like it would definitely be interesting. :) You take care, too, and I hope everything is going well!
This chapter is dedicated to Valerie, for giving me some awesome ideas, and to Linda and ckat44, my newest friends. You all rock!
I have the best beta in the world!! You're just awesome, girl!
Disclaimer: No matter how many times I've wished for it, the characters are still not mine! Only the plot. I also don't own "Crazy In Love" or "Lady Marmalade". walks away, sniffing back tears
IMPORTANT! There is a ball in this chapter, and Harry and Hermione wind up going together, but there is nothing going on between them! They are just the best of friends, and Hermione is going to wind up with dearest Sevvie in the alternate ending, so don't worry!
Chapter 11 – 'Phase Seven'
Hermione rolled over in her four-poster bed and was immediately attacked by the early-morning sunlight. She yawned sleepily as she rubbed her hand over her eyes. Suddenly, she stopped moving. Something was...different. Hermione's eyes snapped open as she sat straight up. Her vision was clear, not blurry at all, and the bed was her own. Hermione threw the covers over the side of the bed and yanked hard on the curtains. She took in her surroundings with awe and delight. She was finally back in the girls' dorm, and, most importantly, back in her own body.
So as not to disturb her still-sleeping roommates, Hermione threw her fists in the air and whispered quietly, "Yes." She tip-toed across the room and down the stairs. She had to wake Harry and Ron because they, too, would be excited. Hermione knew the boys' dorm very well by now and could even find her way around in the dark quite easily, so as soon as she reached the top of the stairs she headed straight for Ron's bed.
"Ron," she said, shaking his shoulder. She paused for a second, finding great joy in once again hearing her own voice as she spoke. The muffled mumble coming from deep inside the pillow drew her from her thoughts. "Ron," she tried again.
"Wha'?" Ron asked, rolling over. When he saw Hermione, he yelped and jumped in surprise.
"Oh Ron, isn't it wonderful?" Hermione asked, stepping away from his bed. "We're back in our own bodies, just like I said!"
"We are?" he asked as if unable to believe it. He looked at her for another second before looking down at himself. "We are!" he yelled.
"Sshhh!" said Hermione, throwing a glance at the other beds. "Let's wake Harry." Ron hopped out of bed and followed Hermione across the room. Hermione drew the curtains around Harry's bed aside, and Ron leaned down to shake him roughly.
"Harry, wake up," he said. Harry sat straight up.
"What is it? What's wrong?" He looked from Ron to Hermione wildly, trying to discover the problem. He brought a hand to his face to rub his eyes but stopped moving a second later. Slowly, he reached across the bed and grabbed his glasses. Once they were in place, he looked at his two best friends.
"Well," he said, "all I can say is, it's about time that spell wore off." All three laughed happily.
"Oh!" Hermione said, starting toward the stairs, "I have to get dressed and head to the Great Hall. It's always deserted on Saturday morning." She winked at the boys before disappearing down the stairway.
"Wanna play a game of Wizard's Chess?" Ron asked, turning to his bed to grab his clothes.
"Sure," said Harry, jumping out of bed.
"Looking forward to the Christmas ball tonight?" asked Harry, pulling his shirt over his head.
"I sure am," said Ron, grabbing a couple of socks from under his bed.
"Who are you going with again?"
"Ginny's friend from Ravenclaw. Her name's Melissa-something."
"She cute?"
"Oh yeah," responded Ron, wiggling his eyebrows mischievously.
"I'm surprised Hermione agreed to it at all when Ginny asked her about it," said Harry, pulling on his socks.
"She wouldn't have if she hadn't been so sure the spell was going to wear off by today. If it didn't for some reason, she was going to fake sick."
"Oh," said Harry as he and Ron followed Hermione's path down the stairs and into the Common Room. Harry pulled two overstuffed recliners close together as Ron set up the chess board.
"Are you going with anyone?" Ron asked as he put the pieces in place.
"Nah," said Harry, sitting down in one of the chairs. "I'm not much for dancing." Ron nodded distractedly as he prodded one of his pawns forward to make its first move.
"Is Hermione going with anyone?" asked Ron. Harry shrugged.
"How should I know? Of the two of us, it'd be you who's more likely to know about that. You know, considering..." Ron turned red.
"Please let's not talk about that," asked Ron, staring intently at the board. Harry smiled slightly.
"Okay."
"I was going to say," started Ron, still staring at the board, "that if Hermione isn't going with anyone you could ask her to dance." Harry thought about that for a moment.
"Yeah, I might," said Harry, nudging a chess piece forward.
"So, Hermione's taking care of Snape, right?" asked Ron, changing the subject. "When are you getting Malfoy?"
"Right after breakfast. Crabbe and Goyle usually lag behind at the table to finish whatever's left."
"But how are you going to catch him off guard?" asked Ron, confused. Harry smiled evilly.
"Let's just say that precious little Malfoy won't see it coming until it's too late." Ron matched Harry's mischievous smirk, then both boys grew quiet as the game intensified.
A few minutes later, Harry asked, "Feels good to be back to normal, doesn't it?"
"Oh, you have no idea Harry," said Ron as his knight overtook Harry's king. "Believe me, you have no idea."
"Aren't you two finished yet?" Draco whined at Crabbe and Goyle for the hundredth time in ten minutes. As was usual, breakfast had already ended and students were leaving the Great Hall in search of activities to keep them busy while Crabbe, Goyle, and Draco were still sitting at the Slytherin table. Crabbe and Goyle ignored Draco as they continued to swipe at and wolf down the contents of any bowl or plate that happened to be near. Draco sighed in exasperation.
"I'm going to the Common Room," he said, standing up. "Come find me when you're finally done." Still no response from the other Slytherins. Draco rolled his eyes and walked out of the Great Hall. Most of the students had left ages ago but there were a few stragglers left, and Draco wound up walking behind a couple of fourth year Hufflepuff girls.
"How are you wearing your hair?" one asked.
"Oh I don't know," the other responded, flipping the subject of their discussion over her shoulder. "I was thinking of leaving it down." Draco had about had enough. He had just opened his mouth to tell them to move when a voice called out to him.
"Drrraaacccooo," Draco stopped cold in the middle of the Entrance Hall. He looked around quickly but saw no one. He looked once more at the Hufflepuff girls. They had already reached the top of the Grand Staircase and were still talking about their choice of hair styles for the ball later that night. Apparently they hadn't heard the disembodied voice calling out to the platinum-blonde Slytherin standing stock still in the middle of the room. Draco didn't even breathe as he strained his ears, almost willing the voice to speak to him again. After a moment, he continued breathing as he took a step toward the staircase.
"Over here," the voice called. Draco spun around wildly and watched, wide- eyed, as the hem of a cloak disappeared into a doorway and a shadow danced across the only wall he could see of the room. Draco's heart was hammering inside his chest but he didn't let that stop him. He took a determined step forward and followed that with another and another until he reached the doorway. He slowly craned his neck forward and looked into the room. It was a classroom, one that Draco hadn't even known was there. The sun was shining in brightly through the only window, glinting off the tops of the desks. Suddenly, Draco saw movement out of the corner of his eye. The same cloak was vanishing into another room. Draco swallowed hard as his heart sped up yet again. He breathed deeply and puffed out his chest before he walked to the door and looked inside. There was no window in this room; it was dark and dank and he was sure there were cobwebs in every corner and spiders crawling across the ceiling. Draco suppressed a shiver as he stepped inside. Someone (or something) was trying to get his attention.
'Well,' he thought, 'they've certainly got it now.' Draco stepped into the room a little more as a single torch lit up unexpectedly and the door behind him snapped shut. Draco yelped from fright and spun around. Who he saw surprised him but only slightly. He wiped the fright from his face and sneered at the person before him.
"Potter," he hissed, "what is the meaning of this?"
"Well, Malfoy," Harry said, straightening away from the wall and taking a step toward Draco, "I wanted to tell you again how funny I thought that little article of yours was." Draco's brows drew together in confusion.
"Oh yes, I thought it was hilarious. In fact, all three of us stayed up late rereading it and laughing about it every single night for the next week." Harry walked toward Draco and didn't stop until his nose was practically touching the other boy's. "The entire school thought it was even funnier. 'Best prank pulled in quite a while,' lots of people said." Draco's sneer was long gone, and he felt a bead of sweat start from his forehead and roll down the tip if his nose.
"You know what, Malfoy? I lied. I didn't think it was funny at all; neither did Ron nor Hermione. And we're going to get you back. You're not going to see it coming, you won't know what's going to happen to you, and you won't be able to stop it." Harry walked back to the door and pulled it open, but instead of leaving the room he paused in the doorway.
"Even though I didn't think your prank was very funny, I will find much pleasure in this." Harry whipped around and pointed his wand straight at Draco. He yelled an incantation and Draco watched, horrified, as baby-blue sparks shot out of the end of the wand and hit him in the chest. Harry slowly pocketed his wand and smiled at Draco.
"I hope you find as much pleasure in our little prank as we did in yours." And with that, Harry was gone, leaving Draco all alone in the dark little room.
"Oh Hermione!" screeched Ginny. "You look soooo pretty!" Hermione's cheeks were suddenly tinted with red as she smiled sheepishly at Ginny.
"Thanks," she said. "You look really pretty, too." In fact, both girls looked drop-dead gorgeous. Hermione was wearing a pale purple dress robe with the hems done in a deeper purple, her makeup was perfect, and she had used a spell on her hair to take out most (but not all) of the curls. She had left her hair down, and the small curls laid on her shoulders and brushed against her cheeks delicately. Ginny's dress robe was a pastel pink color, and her hair had been done in a very attractive up-do.
"Thanks," Ginny said, and it was her turn to blush. "Oh, I feel so nervous. I hope I don't make a fool of myself in front of Dean tonight." Ginny and Dean had been dating for about two months.
"Ginny," Hermione started as she walked to her bed to grab both of their handbags, "try not to worry. Tonight's going to be wonderful."
"But how do you know?"
"Just trust me," Hermione said, handing Ginny her bag. As the girls turned toward the stairs leading to the Common Room, Hermione smiled as she imagined the show in store for everyone.
"Nice of Dumbledore to throw a ball for everyone before we leave for Christmas holidays, isn't it?" asked Ginny.
"Yes it is," responded Hermione. "I've heard a rumor that we're also having one on Valentine's day."
"Really?" Ginny asked, sounding a little excited.
"Yeah," said Hermione as she and Ginny entered the Common Room. The room was crowded with students waiting to be released to the Great Hall, and even though most people were talking or moving from one side of the room to the other, they still managed to capture the attention of more than half the people in the room. Both girls blushed again, and Ginny's blush got even deeper as she caught sight of Dean moving toward her from the middle of the room. His eyes were wide and a small smile was playing across his lips.
"Wow," he whispered once he had reached her. He took both of her hands in his. "You look amazing."
"Thanks," Ginny whispered back. Hermione began to move away from them so as not to intrude upon their moment. She scanned the crowd for Harry and Ron and finally spotted them near the portrait hole.
"Hi guys," she said as she stepped up to them.
"Hey," Ron said distractedly as he ran a hand through his hair and straightened his robes.
"You look really nice, Hermione," Harry said.
"Thanks. You both look nice, too."
"Thanks," said Harry. Ron was still messing with his hair. "Oh Ron, stop that. You've been messing with your hair for an hour." Ron looked sheepishly at Harry and dropped his hands. Then he looked at Hermione.
"Wow, 'Mione. You look really nice," said Ron. Hermione smiled up at him.
"Thanks," she responded as the students began to file out of the Common Room. The torches in the hallways burned red and green as little snowflakes fell from the ceiling onto the crowd of students below. There were also little fully decorated Christmas trees on almost every available surface. Hermione looked up to watch the falling snow and felt as several little flakes landed on her eyelashes and nose. She smiled as she blinked the snow away and looked back at the Great Hall doors. They were closed, and the students gathered in the Entrance Hall began moving around to find either their date or their friends. Ron moved away from Hermione and Harry to find Melissa Thatcher, Ginny's friend and Ron's date for the ball. Of course, Hermione seriously doubted Ron even remembered the girl's last name. He had gotten a really goofy grin on his face and had completely tuned Hermione out when she had pointed Melissa out to him. Even though 'Mione had been a little put out with Ron for ignoring her, she couldn't help but be happy for him.
"You waiting for anyone?" Harry asked, pulling Hermione from her thoughts.
"Nope," she said, shrugging her shoulders. "Are you?"
"Nah," said Harry, shaking his head. Suddenly, music began to play. Hermione looked back at the Great Hall doors and narrowed her eyes as she concentrated on the tune. She smiled as she recognized "White Christmas" playing softly from behind the closed doors. Harry tapped her shoulder.
"What?" she asked, looking at him again. Harry nodded toward one side of the room, and as Hermione followed his gaze she caught sight of Ron standing with Melissa. They were holding hands and looking at each other adoringly. Hermione was a little surprised at Ron (since he was usually pretty shy), but she guessed that the past few weeks had more of an impact on him than she thought.
"I don't think we'll be seeing much of him this evening," Harry said, also looking at Ron. "What do you say if we make a pact to stick together tonight?" Hermione smiled at him just as the Great Hall doors burst open.
"Sounds good to me," she said, and she and Harry followed the rest of the students into the Great Hall. Hermione sucked in a breath at the sight before her. The usual House Tables were gone, replaced with many small tables draped in deep green cloths and surrounded with up to six chairs apiece. Each table had either a red or white candle in the center with a wreath acting as the base of the candle. There was also glitter spread along each table top and across the floor but it didn't move when you touched it or walked across it. As the light from the candles hit the glitter, the entire room seemed to glow. In Hermione's opinion, the Great Hall looked amazing. Apparently Harry shared her opinion. He whistled softly as he looked around the room. Hermione smiled as she started toward a table sitting next to the farthest wall. She put her purse on the table top and sat down. Harry waved to someone across the room and told 'Mione he would be right back.
"Okay," she said, leaning back in her chair. As Harry left to mingle, Hermione looked at the Head Table. There was Hagrid (wearing a shaggy black suit 'Mione had never seen before), Sprout, Flitwick, McGonagall, Dumbledore, the DADA professor, and Severus Snape. The last met Hermione's gaze, and after a moment she smiled brightly and waved at him. His sneer returned, contempt written plainly on his face. Hermione giggled as the Great Hall filled up around her, and the music took on more of a beat you could dance to. Ginny and Dean soon joined her, but then were up just as fast dancing around the room. Harry returned a moment later with two cups of punch.
"Here," he said, handing her a cup.
"Thanks." She took the cup and raised it to her lips. Harry sat his on the table and held out his hand to 'Mione.
"Come on," he said, nodding toward the crowd of dancing students. Hermione hesitated a split second before putting her hand in Harry's. He helped her to her feet before spinning her in place and dancing with her around the room. Hermione laughed with delight as the music kicked up another notch and a shout of approval rippled through the crowd. Before Hermione knew it, an hour had passed and her feet were throbbing, but she was having a wonderful time.
"I have to sit down, Harry," she said, walking toward their table.
"I'll get more punch," he said and was gone. Hermione hobbled to her seat and plopped down. Her shoes were off in the next second, and she breathed a grateful sigh.
"Here you go," Harry said, handing her a fresh cup and sitting down next to her.
"Thanks." She tilted the cup back and drank deeply.
"Hey Hermione, look." 'Mione looked to where he was pointing. Severus Snape was not sitting at the Head Table. Hermione looked quickly around the room; there was no dark figure lurking in the corners or the slightest movement from the hem of a cloak disappearing through a doorway. She smiled brightly.
"Is Malfoy still in here?" Harry looked around.
"Nope, he's gone, too."
"The spells should start working soon, then." The music stopped and the students cheered as the band announced that they would be taking a short break. Ginny and Dean quickly joined Harry and Hermione at the table.
"My feet are killing me," Ginny said to Hermione as she sat down.
"That's why I'm barefoot," Hermione said, holding one of her feet off the floor a little so Ginny could see that she was shoeless. Ginny laughed as Hermione waved her foot around. Suddenly, music started to play. Hermione recognized the tune immediately and angled her chair so she could see the stage better. The rest of the students were looking at each other, confused, and Dumbledore had risen from his chair, eyebrows drawn together. The voice of rapper Jay-Z filled the Great Hall as Beyonce's "Crazy In Love" began to play.
(Jay-Z) "Yes! It's so crazy right now! Most incredibly, it's ya girl Bee. It's ya boy, young." The dark stage lit up suddenly, and in the middle of it stood Potions Professor Severus Snape. His back was to the crowd, and he was wearing a deep blue, long sleeved, sequined, one piece outfit. His hair was in a French braid, and both of his arms were thrown up above his head and clasped together. He began to sway his hips as he sang.
"You ready? Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh, oh no no. Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh, oh no no." Snape spun around wildly to face the crowd. Hermione could see that he was wearing bright blue eye shadow and one of those decorative diamond decals at the outer corner of both eyes. The straw that broke the camel's back was the sight of Snape's exposed stomach. There wasn't an ounce of fat on him, but it was still rather shocking to see the line of fake diamond decals following the line of black hair that lead from the top of the gap in the fabric to his belly button (a good ten inches). Hermione doubled over with laughter as Snape began to shake his rear-end in the move that has become the real Beyonce's trademark.
"Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh, oh no no. Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh, oh no no."
As Jay-Z sang, "Yea, history in the making. Part 2, it's so crazy right now," Snape jumped off the stage and started making his way toward the Head Table.
"I look and stare so deep in your eyes. I touch on you more and more every time. When you leave, I'm begging you not to go; call your name two-three times in a row." Hermione blinked back the tears and looked at the Head Table. Hagrid was laughing into his giant palm, as were Sprout, Flitwick, and the DADA professor. McGonagall was sitting stock still, hands clasped hard together in front of her, and her eyes were as big and round and unblinking as a cat's. Dumbledore was leaning forward in his seat slightly. His right elbow was propped on the table, and his chin was resting on his palm. His eyes were shining brighter than ever, and Hermione thought she saw a dimple in his cheek.
"Such a funny thing for me to try to explain. How I'm feeling and my pride is the one to blame. 'Cuz I know I don't understand. Just how your love, you're doing no one else can." Snape finally made it to the Head Table, and he began making his way toward Dumbledore. As he drew nearer the Headmaster, McGonagall's eyes slowly began to narrow.
"Got me looking so crazy right now, your love's got me looking so crazy right now." Snape stopped in front of Dumbledore and reached out his hand to stroke the Headmaster's cheek. "Got me looking so crazy right now, your touch. Got me looking so crazy right now. Got me hoping"- Snape began to lean toward Dumbledore-"you'll page me right now, your kiss." McGonagall flew up out of her chair as if she had been burned, but Snape didn't seem to notice. He moved away from Dumbledore and continued on down the Head Table. Hermione noticed that Dumbledore gently took McGonagall's arm and slowly re-lowered her into her chair.
"Got me hoping you'll save me right now. Looking so crazy in love, got me looking, got me looking so crazy in love." As soon as Snape reached the end of the platform, he jumped to the nearest table. It was occupied by several extremely shocked Slytherins. Snape began shaking his rear-end again. "Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh, oh no no. Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh, oh no no." Snape jumped off the table and began to walk around the Great Hall.
"When I talk to my friends so quietly. Who he think he is? Look at what you did to me. Tennis shoes, don't even need to buy a new dress. If you ain't there ain't nobody else to impress. The way that you know what I thought I knew. It's the beat my heart skips when I'm with you. But I still don't understand. Just how you're doing no one else can." Snape would stop periodically while he was singing to grab a hand here or kiss a cheek there. Hermione was trying her hardest to calm down so she could watch everyone's reaction. A lot of people were smiling and laughing, but not the ones he managed to plant a kiss on.
For example, when Snape grabbed the hand of a third year Hufflepuff boy and gave it an affectionate squeeze, 'Mione thought she was going to lose it again, and several other people actually did. The boy fell backward in his chair because he was trying to get away from the Potions Master. Snape stopped in the middle of the Great Hall and repeated the chorus once more while dancing around and spinning on the floor. It made a lot of people wish they hadn't eaten so much at dinner, especially when he attempted a split, but people were still laughing and smiling. Snape continued to "dance" as Jay-Z sang. Halfway through Jay-Z's part, Snape stopped his insane dance and started walking the room again, grabbing random people's hands along the way. Hermione suddenly noted with a slight panic that Snape was headed straight for their table.
He sang, "Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh, oh no no," as Jay-Z's part continued. Snape finally made it to Hermione's table. He got down on his knees if front of her and grabbed both of her hands in both of his.
He sang, "Got me lookin' so crazy, my baby. I'm not myself, lately I'm foolish, I don't do this. I've been playing myself, baby I don't care. 'Cuz your love's got the best of me, and baby you're making a fool of me. You got me sprung and I don't care who sees, 'cuz baby you got me, you got me, so crazy baby. Hey!" Snape stood and pulled Hermione out of her chair, still holding onto one of her hands. He spun her around and danced with her as the song finished.
"Got me looking so crazy right now, your love's got me looking so crazy right now. Got me looking so crazy right now, your touch. Got me looking so crazy right now. Got me hoping you'll page me right now, your kiss. Got me hoping you'll save me right now. Looking so crazy in love's got me looking so crazy in love." Snape dipped Hermione over his arm as he sang the last word. The entire Great Hall erupted in applause and laughter. Hermione, although slightly embarrassed, couldn't help but laugh a little herself as she watched Snape bow to just about every single table. She glanced at the Head Table. Dumbledore and the rest of the professors were on their feet giving Snape a standing ovation. All except McGonagall, who was standing quietly beside Dumbledore with her lips pursed.
Then suddenly, Snape threw his right arm out and pointed to the stage. The lights rose, and a ripple of laughter ran through the Great Hall as everyone caught sight of Draco. He was wearing an old-fashioned dress (the kind women used to wear in the wild west), that was pale pink and had a slit going right up his leg to his thigh. It was painfully obvious that he was wearing fishnet stockings and pale pink, high-heeled shoes to match. He was also wearing matching gloves that went up to his elbows, and a hat (with a net veil over his face) that sat a couple of feet off of his head. He was holding onto the top of the slit, and his other hand was on the back of his hat. Music started, and Draco began singing Patti LaBelle's "Lady Marmalade".
"Hey sister, go sister, soul sister, go sister." Draco held onto the slit and hat as he began walking down the stage, dramatically kicking his legs out before him with each step he took. "Hey sister, go sister, soul sister, go sister." Once Draco reached the end of the stage, he stepped on top of the nearest table. "He met Marmalade down in old New Orleans, struttin' her stuff on the street. She said, 'Hello, hey Joe, you wanna give it a go?' Mmm, Mmm." Draco carefully stepped in an empty chair and stepped onto the floor. He walked to the middle of the Great Hall and began doing a Can-Can like performance. Hermione, Harry, Ginny, and Dean were practically rolling in the floor.
"Itchi gitchi ya ya da da. Itchi gitchi ya ya here. Mocha-choca-lata ya ya. Creole Lady Marmalade. Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir? Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?" Draco stopped his high-kicking and began walking toward the Head Table. "Sat in her pool, watched while she freshened up. Boy drank all that night, don't know why. On the black satin sheets where he started to freak." Draco made it to the Head Table and used Snape's empty seat to step on top of the table. Draco began doing a few more modern moves as he re-sang the chorus. At one point, he even went down on one arm and threw both of his feet out (narrowly missing Flitwick's head). Everyone in the Great Hall cheered. Once the chorus was finished, Draco continued walking down the Head Table as he sang.
"Hey, hey, hey. Touch of her skin feelin' silky smooth, the color of café au lait. Made the savage beast inside roar until it cried. More, more, more." Once Draco reached the end of the Head Table, he jumped to the nearest table and began making his way back toward the middle of the Great Hall.
"Now he's at home doing 9 to 5, living his grey flannel life. But when he turns off to sleep, old memories keep. More, more, more." Draco reached the middle of the hall and began doing the Can-Can once more. "Itchi gitchi ya ya da da. Itchi gitchi ya ya here. Mocha-choco-lata ya ya. Creole Lady Marmalade." Draco stopped his dance and headed right for Hermione's table.
"Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir? Voulez-vous coucher avec moi? Mmm, Hmm." Draco reached their table and walked so he was standing behind Harry. He did some wild kicks over Harry's head as he finished the song. "Itchi gitchi ya ya da da. Itchi gitchi ya ya here. Mocha-choco-lata ya ya." He went down on his knees next to Harry. "Creole Lady Marmalade!" He fell on the floor in an up-right fetal position as everyone broke into applause and laughter. Draco slowly stood and, like Snape, began bowing to everyone. Then he blew kisses to everyone as he slowly backed out of the Great Hall and closed the doors behind him.
"Merlin, that was hilarious!" said Harry, wiping his eyes. Dean was doubled over in his seat, and Ginny was trying very hard to calm down. Ron half- walked, half-stumbled to their table, clutching at his sides.
"That was priceless!" he heaved.
"That was the funniest thing I've ever seen! What in the world possessed Snape and Draco to do that?" she asked, looking at Hermione, who shrugged.
"It's probably better if we don't know what made them do that. Who knows? Maybe they did it because they both like dressing that way!" This brought on another fit of laughter from Harry, Ron, and Dean. Hermione giggled, too. "Seriously, though. It's probably better if we don't understand the inner workings of either one of their brains." Ginny and Hermione began laughing at Harry's and Dean's re-enactment of Snape and Ron's re-enactment of Draco.
"Even though I enjoyed that immensely..." Ron started, but then just as quickly stopped as another wave of laughter consumed him. "I have to get back to Melissa."
"Alright Ron. We'll see you later," Harry said. Ron patted his shoulder and was gone.
"I need some air," Hermione said, wiping her eyes. "Want to join me?"
"Yeah," said Harry, unable to control his smile. "Let's go." They exited unnoticed through the Great Hall doors. Once in the courtyard that had been especially set up for that night (i.e.: it was somehow magically enclosed so it was cut off from the cold). Even though the area surrounding the courtyard had to be in the teens, the courtyard area itself was nice and warm, and there was even snow, but this was warm snow. And there was such a pretty view of the stars. Hermione sighed with content as she sat down on a nearby bench and looked at the sky. The stars and a couple of nearby green and red torches were the only sources of light. It was just so...peaceful and romantic. Harry stopped walking next to Hermione's bench, and slowly lowered himself down next to her.
"Wasn't that hilarious?" Hermione asked, smiling. Harry grinned at her.
"Yes, it was funny. I thought Ron was going to explode when Draco began doing the Can-Can." They began laughing together.
"You're such a good friend, Hermione," Harry said, wiping a tear from his eye.
"So are you, Harry. So are you," responded Hermione, smiling at one of her very best friends. Suddenly, a velvety voice spoke to them from the darkness.
"How touching," said Severus Snape. Hermione about jumped out of her skin. She and Harry stood up quickly from the bench and turned to face their potions professor. Even with the stars and torches, it was still quite dark, and all Hermione could see of Snape was a shadowy outline. What she could see, however, was that Snape was back to his normal dress and his hair was no longer in a braid. Suddenly, an image of Snape standing midstage, arms thrown above his head, his flat stomach completely exposed, and light glinting slightly off the diamond decals jumped into 'Mione's mind. She bit down hard on her lower lip, but the corners of her mouth still quirked up slightly. Apparently, Snape had the vison of a cat because he noticed the slight change in her expression.
"Found that amusing, did you, Miss Granger? I don't think you'll find nearly as much amusement in waiting on me hand-and-foot." Hermione's amused expression disappeared, only to be replaced with one of confusion.
"What do you mean?" Snape's wand came out of nowhere. The courtyard was suddenly ablaze with yellow sparks as Hermione threw her hands up in front of her face to protect herself.
"There," he said, pocketing his wand. "I do believe I will be seeing you two again soon." Hermione's mouth fell open as she looked at Snape. The light from the green torch danced across his features for only a moment, but it was long enough to tell that his expression was...different. He wasn't wearing his usual smirk, or "glare of death", or even a grimace. He looked like he was actually smiling. It was a little smile, but a smile nevertheless. Hermione felt absolutely floored as she watched Snape walk away. And...Merlin, was that a small chuckle she heard coming from him? No, not Professor Snape! Hermione was suddenly experiencing an entire range of emotions: surprise, confusion, slight fear, and even happiness. That last one she couldn't explain, nor could she explain the smile that suddenly made its way onto her face.
Back in the Great Hall, Dumbledore and McGonagall were talking quietly at the Head Table.
"I don't like it, Albus. Something very odd has been going on with him this year. And what in the world got into Mr. Malfoy?" McGonagall whispered. Dumbledore smiled at her and patted her hand reassuringly.
"Don't worry about Severus, Minerva. Everything is perfectly under control. As for Mr. Malfoy, I do believe that was his payback for that article. Plus, I think I've just solved a little mystery."
"What mystery?" Dumbledore's eyes sparkled brightly.
"I believe I just figured out who the other original party is in Hermione's game of dares." McGonagall looked at him, confused.
"Don't worry about it Minerva, dear. Just try and enjoy the rest of the ball." McGonagall gave him a suspicious glance before turning to talk to Flitwick. Dumbledore picked up his cup and brought it to his lips.
"And it's about bloody time he had a little fun in his life," he whispered.
In the Gryffindor Common Room...
"Guys!" Ron yelled, running quickly up the stairs leading to the boys' dorm. He found Hermione and Harry playing a card game on Harry's bed. "Snape ambushed me! He jumped out at me as I was headed back here and hit me with yellow sparks!"
"He got us, too, Ron," said Hermione, returning her attention to their game.
"Great. This is just great!" He plopped down on Harry's bed next to 'Mione and continued to complain. "I really hit it off with Melissa tonight, and if Snape gets in the way of that, I'm going to murder him." Harry hummed in his throat as he studied the cards he held in his hand.
"What do you think it is this time?" Ron asked, dread quite evident in his voice.
"I have no earthly idea. Snape said something about waiting on him hand-and- foot, so..."
"He's turned us into house elves!" shouted Ron.
"No, I don't think that's it," said Harry. "He wants to humiliate us, and if we were house elves then no one would know it was us. What fun would that be for him?" Hermione nodded, agreeing.
"That makes sense. I guess we'll just have to wait and see."
"Bugger all, I'm really beginning to hate that phrase," Ron said as he grabbed one of Harry's pillows and buried his face in it.
Severus awoke bright and early the next morning. Everyone had gone home for Christmas, except the teachers and a few other students. Draco had been the first one on the train the day of departure. Oh, Snape had heard in great detail what had transpired after his own little 'performance'. Nevertheless, he smiled and was just getting out of bed when there was a knock at the door to his private chambers. He grabbed his Slytherin-colored robe and slipped his arms inside as he strode toward the door. He wasn't angry about the intrusion, though, because he knew exactly who was on the other side of the door and why.
As he pulled the door open, he was hit with a chorused, "Merry Christmas, sir!" and a fistful of fake snow. He stepped back to allow them inside as he brushed the snow from his hair and off of his robe. Snape watched as first Miss Granger, then Mr. Potter, and finally Mr. Weasley entered his room, then turned toward him, smiling brightly. He looked all three from head to foot. They were all wearing a red and white Santa hat, with a green and red elf outfit, and pointy shoes to top everything off. Their hands were clasped behind their backs, like soldiers waiting for their first assignment. Snape smiled wickedly. Now this he was going to enjoy. He slowly lowered himself into his favorite recliner, and looked at them a moment before speaking.
"Miss Granger, fetch my breakfast."
"Yes, sir!" she said, and was off like a flash for the kitchens. Snape smiled, delighted.
"Mr. Potter, shine my shoes."
"Yes, sir!" Harry turned and headed for Snape's closet.
"And Mr. Weasley..." Snape paused to think. "Tidy up my chambers."
"Yes, sir!" said Ron. He began running around Snape's room, dusting random objects and finding things to put right. Snape's smile grew even wider as Hermione returned and served him his breakfast. His expression changed, however, as he looked at his food. It was all of his favorite breakfast foods. But how did she know? Not even the house elves could keep it straight! Snape watched Hermione as she ran around the room with Ron, finding things to do to keep busy. Snape began shaking his head back and forth as he brought the first fork full to his mouth.
'Strange girl,' he thought. 'Strange but amazing girl.'
The spell Snape had cast on the trio wore off by nine o'clock every night but would be back in full force the next morning. It was brilliant. Unfortunately, there was a side effect he hadn't counted on. The spell was just supposed to make them happy but obedient, and unable to resist carrying out an order from Snape himself. Instead of just looking happy and smiling at everyone, they actually began hugging people; Snape in particular. The first time it happened, they were all standing in the Entrance Hall, putting up Christmas decorations (Flitwick had asked for a little extra help, and Snape was happy to oblige). Hermione's wall was looking very nice, and Snape decided to compliment her. Big mistake.
"That's very nice, Miss Granger." Hermione turned toward Snape slowly and looked up at him. Snape jumped back in surprise to notice the glint of happy tears.
"Oh, thank you professor!" Hermione shouted, throwing herself at Snape and grabbing him around the middle in a huge hug.
"Get off me!" he yelled trying to dislodge her.
Suddenly, Ron yelled, "It's a hugfest!" and went barreling toward Snape and 'Mione. Since Ron was taller than Hermione, his arms wrapped around Snape's chest from the side, pinning his left arm to his side.
"Let me go!" He continued to struggle.
"Did I hear someone say 'hugfest'?" asked Harry. He, too, ran right at them and got Snape from his other side (his arms landed right below Ron's), pinning his right arm down. Snape began jumping up and down in the middle of the Entrance Hall, trying to get them to let go. As if that wasn't horrible enough, the Headmaster decided to make his entrance at just that moment. He was looking at the four with an amused smile and bright, twinkling eyes.
"Eh, problem, Severus?" Dumbledore asked, looking at Harry, Ron, and Hermione wrapped around Severus's middle.
"No, Headmaster," Snape lied, trying to wiggle free. "No problem at all."
"I see. Well, everything looks wonderful. Good job, you three." Suddenly, they pulled away from Snape and launched themselves at Dumbledore. He quickly raised his arms, and they began hugging him profusely.
"Thank you!" they chorused together.
"You're quite welcome, quite welcome." He patted each of them on the head, and they released him. Snape stared, dumbstruck. "Well, I'll let you get back to it then, Severus." Dumbledore then left, leaving him with the three Gryffindors who he felt like he could murder. Nevertheless, he was prepared the next time it happened. Ron hugged Snape after he helped Ron pick up scrap pieces of paper. Snape told Ron he was welcome and patted his head. Just like that, Ron released him. Although the hugging got a little annoying, Snape really enjoyed having the three at his every beck and call for the entire two weeks of Christmas vacation. He even stretched the spell so it would last until the day everyone returned to the school. Snape gave them the final task of greeting the students as they entered the Entrance Hall. He stood at the very top of the Grand Staircase and watched as Hermione, Harry, and Ron greeted as many students as possible with an enthusiastic "Welcome back!" and a giant hug. Snape smiled.
'Things have got to be better by now, right? I mean, come on! It's been over two weeks since it happened. It's old news! Oh please, please let it be old news!' Draco thought, looking up at the tall doors with dread. Those two days before everyone else left for Christmas vacation were horrible. Whispers, comments, and snickering had followed him through all the corridors. There were hand drawn pictures of him in that dress doing the Can-Can and even ones of him kicking his leg over Harry's head magically stuck to the walls all over the place! The only place he could escape the images was in the boys' dorm in the Common Room. But he couldn't find complete escape even there. The other boys he roomed with constantly gave him weird looks, even Crabbe and Goyle. And he had been avoiding Harry Potter at all costs. He wasn't even planning revenge.
'As long as things have calmed down and nothing else happens,' he thought, starting up the front steps. 'Nothing else will happen, so don't think like that!' Draco was starting to feel pretty confident. At least, until he got into the Entrance Hall. He immediately spotted Ron and Hermione in their elf outfits and hats, hugging everyone. Thank goodness he didn't see Harry, but there was no way he was getting hugged by either one of them! Draco began sliding toward the other end of the Entrance Hall, keeping both eyes on Ron and Hermione to make sure he hadn't been spotted. Just as he was beginning to feel confident again, he suddenly ran into someone. He turned around, and his heart nearly stopped. There stood Harry Potter, in an outfit exactly like Ron's and Hermione's.
"Welcome back, Draco!" he shouted loudly. "You have been missed!" Even though the students didn't stop walking toward the Great Hall, laughter, shouts, and catcalls broke out all over the room as several began humming "Lady Marmalade". Draco felt his face begin to burn with rage.
"Get off me!" he yelled, pushing Harry hard before continuing on to the Great Hall. Pansy showed up just as Draco sat down.
"Oh Draco! I saw that horrible display in the Entrance Hall! How dare Potter, making fun of you like that?" Draco didn't say anything. He only started at the table very, very hard. "Draco?" Pansy repeated. Draco lifted his head to meet her gaze, and she jumped back in surprise when she saw the hatred seeping from his eyes.
"Don't worry about Potter, Pansy. I will make him pay. Believe me, he will pay."
That's it for chapter 11! Did you love it? Hate it? Please just let me know what you thought! School is out now, so I'm hoping I'll have more time to write, BUT...
PLEASE READ!! I have been accepted into a program through school where I will be taking classes at a college away from home for six weeks. I leave June 13th, so I have no idea if I will be able to update while I'm gone. I hope so but I don't know! If anyone wants to get in touch with me while I'm gone, e-mail me at agriculturechick(little "at" symbol goes here - it's not working for some reason)yahoo.com. Thanks everyone!!