Disclaimer: Don't own One Tree Hill or any of the characters.
Author Note: Sorry about the long time without an update. I just been very busy and haven't had the time to dive into Brooke's head.
I wish life could be like a VCR, I could fast forward through the parts that scare me or that royally piss me off. Rewind the happiest moments that fill my life with complete bliss. Or hell I even just settle for a pause button, one so I can contemplate what going on when I'm emotionally kicked on my ass.
I was given a bunch of pamphlets on the child living inside of me. All I saw was the different colors that danced before me as Lucas look them over. I'm alone now; Lucas is off talking to someone on the phone. He told me who he was talking to once, but the buzzing in my ears drowned him out. The motherly nurse figure pop up to check I haven't become a shell. But she is already too late, I was a shell before all this even happen, I played the part of a shell my whole life.
Her husky voice began talking "I got pregnant when I was seventeen, my boyfriend wanted to look cool in front of friends and I wanted to piss off my uptight father." I look up at her; it seems as if telling me this part of her history has shed ten years off her face.
I turn on my side wanting to know more, "What happen?"
"Oh he abandoned me, changing diapers and bottle feeding wasn't high on his list. I was left to raise my son by myself until I met the wonderful man who became my husband." She pours me a glass of water and then fluffs my pillow.
My stomach slightly turns, as the cool water went down, "Did you ever think about an abortion?"
"Oh it wasn't legal back then and the ones you could get weren't exactly safe. I thought about adoption, I even went to an adoption agency to get some information. Everything was so surreal and then it happened." Her eyes were glaze over now as she let her soul recall the past for my benefit.
I lean in close and whisper, "What was it?"
"I saw a teenage girl just like me; she was talking to an interviewer. He collected all her information and she sat down next to me. We talk for a little bit about life and then she asks me something I never forget." I lean in, begging to learn this miraculous question that answers all this nurse's questions about her unseen future. "Do you want to feel the baby kick?"
She stops because she must have seen my eyes cloud over with confusion. "I felt the new life that was maturing inside of her and I realized that my baby was doing the same exact thing just inside of me. I wasn't content with harboring a new life in my body and then just sending him off into the unknown. Right then I knew I wanted to see his life after his birth, see him play baseball, learn how to ride a bike, go to college, maybe even get married. I thanked her for the talk and walk out to my new life with my son."
My mouth opens before I could think, "So no regrets?"
She smiles, "No, no regrets, only a son who has made my life complete. I need to check on the other patients, if you need anything just ask for Mabel." With that she was gone, I lean back into the stiff hospital pillow and fell into a restless sleep.
Where drums could be heard in the distance and I saw myself in a rocking chair sitting next to a crib and holding a small bundle in my arms. I was even singing although it was badly off-key, I found myself standing next to the dream version of me, about to look into the bundle-
"Brooke time to wake up," Lucas gently shook me awake. I rub the sleep grid out of my eyes, "the hospital needs the bed for a new patient, come on I take you home now."
I look at him as I softly rub my stomach, "Could you take me to Peyton's house please?"
Author Note: Sorry about the long time without an update. I just been very busy and haven't had the time to dive into Brooke's head.
I wish life could be like a VCR, I could fast forward through the parts that scare me or that royally piss me off. Rewind the happiest moments that fill my life with complete bliss. Or hell I even just settle for a pause button, one so I can contemplate what going on when I'm emotionally kicked on my ass.
I was given a bunch of pamphlets on the child living inside of me. All I saw was the different colors that danced before me as Lucas look them over. I'm alone now; Lucas is off talking to someone on the phone. He told me who he was talking to once, but the buzzing in my ears drowned him out. The motherly nurse figure pop up to check I haven't become a shell. But she is already too late, I was a shell before all this even happen, I played the part of a shell my whole life.
Her husky voice began talking "I got pregnant when I was seventeen, my boyfriend wanted to look cool in front of friends and I wanted to piss off my uptight father." I look up at her; it seems as if telling me this part of her history has shed ten years off her face.
I turn on my side wanting to know more, "What happen?"
"Oh he abandoned me, changing diapers and bottle feeding wasn't high on his list. I was left to raise my son by myself until I met the wonderful man who became my husband." She pours me a glass of water and then fluffs my pillow.
My stomach slightly turns, as the cool water went down, "Did you ever think about an abortion?"
"Oh it wasn't legal back then and the ones you could get weren't exactly safe. I thought about adoption, I even went to an adoption agency to get some information. Everything was so surreal and then it happened." Her eyes were glaze over now as she let her soul recall the past for my benefit.
I lean in close and whisper, "What was it?"
"I saw a teenage girl just like me; she was talking to an interviewer. He collected all her information and she sat down next to me. We talk for a little bit about life and then she asks me something I never forget." I lean in, begging to learn this miraculous question that answers all this nurse's questions about her unseen future. "Do you want to feel the baby kick?"
She stops because she must have seen my eyes cloud over with confusion. "I felt the new life that was maturing inside of her and I realized that my baby was doing the same exact thing just inside of me. I wasn't content with harboring a new life in my body and then just sending him off into the unknown. Right then I knew I wanted to see his life after his birth, see him play baseball, learn how to ride a bike, go to college, maybe even get married. I thanked her for the talk and walk out to my new life with my son."
My mouth opens before I could think, "So no regrets?"
She smiles, "No, no regrets, only a son who has made my life complete. I need to check on the other patients, if you need anything just ask for Mabel." With that she was gone, I lean back into the stiff hospital pillow and fell into a restless sleep.
Where drums could be heard in the distance and I saw myself in a rocking chair sitting next to a crib and holding a small bundle in my arms. I was even singing although it was badly off-key, I found myself standing next to the dream version of me, about to look into the bundle-
"Brooke time to wake up," Lucas gently shook me awake. I rub the sleep grid out of my eyes, "the hospital needs the bed for a new patient, come on I take you home now."
I look at him as I softly rub my stomach, "Could you take me to Peyton's house please?"