Breaking the Block
by Spade
4/24/2000
Spade stared at her Writer's Block. It stared back at her. If she didn't know better, she'd swear it was grinning. Sadistic bastard.
Spade humphed and tapped her foot, arms crossed over her chest. It wasn't much of a wall really. Just a square maybe a foot taller than she was, not connected to anything. But the damn thing was still managing to block her creative flow.
She walked around it, looking for a crack somewhere. Nope. She kicked it. It didn't go anywhere. She pushed up against it. All that did was leave brick imprints on her palms. She tried a Heero Yuy Death Glare. The block was not impressed.
"You know," she said to the block, "if you don't do something, this is going to be a very boring ficlet."
There wasn't much by way of a response but if the block had shoulders, it would have shrugged.
"I know! I need props!" Spade whirled around and sure enough her trunk appeared out of nowhere. It was a wonderful thing to have around. The wood was a reddish chestnut color and the edges were lined with iron that curled in decorative vines where the corners met. The lid was curved and the clasp that held it shut was shaped into a spade. She could find anything and everything in that trunk, though it had an affinity for chibis, she'd learned. And the "appear out of nowhere whenever she wanted it" deal made for easy storage.
The first thing that popped out when she opened the lid was a chibi WuFei. He was sitting cross legged on top of a stack of books, nose buried in a copy of "Fencing For Disgruntled Ukes". He was too busy muttering something about "Injustice!" and "Next time!" to notice when Spade lifted him and the books out of the trunk and set them aside.
There was something brown in the corner and Spade pulled it up and "eeped". Lady Une glowered at Spade, who currently had her hand wrapped around the loop of one Une's braids.
"Eh heh... Gomen..."
Lady Une made a move for the gun holstered on her hip. "Unhand me or I shall have to," while Spade made a swipe for her glasses, "... talk things out in a civilized manner for the good of all human kind," Lady Une finished in a sugar sweet, half dazed voice. Spade tucked the glasses into her back pocket as Une wandered off, smiling sweetly.
"Man, I didn't know she was in there!" Spade turned to the trunk. "Who's side are you on, anyway?"
The trunk's next offering was a chibi Shinigami, complete with black cap and mini scythe, and all was forgiven.
The chibi Shinigami settled into her lap, one of Spade's arms wrapped around him, while she continued to paw through the contents of the trunk. There was a bunsen burner, a half empty container of Runts candy, some interesting 18th century costumes, paints and brushes, even a home entertainment system complete with Lazy Boy recliner and remote. Chibi Shinigami took a moment to flap out of her lap to claim the souls of a few misfortunate tribbles that had tried to make a break for it after they'd gotten out of the trunk. He flopped back in her lap with a satisfied grin that might have looked evil if he weren't so impossibly cute.
"Can I help?"
"AAAARGH!!" Spade fell back and squeezed chibi Shinigami for dear life. The poor thing made spiral eyes until Spade loosened her grip. "Man, Relena, you scared the crap out of me!"
"I'm sorry. What are you looking for?"
Spade pointed and Relena followed the finger to the Writer's Block. It hadn't budged though it had started to look a little less confident after the arrival of the trunk.
"Oh, I see," Relena knelt down next to her, and they both continued the search for a solution. "What's this?"
There was a blanket stretched over something moving and suspicious noises were emanated from it. The girls each took a corner and, taking a steeling breath, ripped the blanket away.
Relena screamed as a decidedly-not-chibi Duo made a desperate grab for the blanket. An equally un-chibi Heero glared at Spade like it was her fault. Which it was, seeing as she was the one writing it in.
"Omae o korosu."
Spade slammed the lid shut before it could turn into a Death Fic. Relena's cheeks had gone a nice shade of crimson and she stared wide eyed at the close lid. Spade patted her shoulder consolingly.
"Don't worry, there are some fics where you get him."
"Really?" Relena asked, some of the shock wearing away.
"Sure. Even some lemons."
The blush reached Relena's hairline.
"Sometimes you even get both of'em at the same time."
"Spade!"
"Hahahaha!"
They opened the box again, relieved to note the Heero and Duo weren't in there anymore. Instead, a chibi Trieze greeted them.
"Ah, ladies," he said, climbing up and sitting on the lip of the trunk, legs crossed. He had a book tucked under his arm. It read "What To Do When Your Lover is Reading 'Fencing for Disgruntled Ukes'". Chibi Trieze smiled charmingly. "You haven't perchance seen my little Dragon anywhere?"
Spade pointed off to the direction that chibi WuFei had wandered off in.
"Thank you. And I believe this is what you're looking for." Chibi Trieze reached a gloved hand into the trunk, pulled something out, and placed it in Spade's hands.
"All right!" Spade stood, twirling the sledge hammer in her palms. Nevermind that she probably wouldn't even be able to lift it in Real Life, let alone twirl it. Some sweatdrops jumped out of the trunk and went to hang themselves about the Writer's Block.
Spade advanced on the block, chibi Shinigami flapping happily at the prospect of some violence. Relena closed the trunk and settled comfortably onto the lid to watch the destruction.