Disclaimer: I do not (unfortunately) own Final Fantasy 8 or any references I have made towards it in this story. The parts of it that aren't owned by square enix however, are all mine. If you're going to use it or anything (which I doubt anyone will) at least get my permission first.
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I awoke the next morning to find the sun well and truly in the sky. I cursed myself for sleeping in before getting up and pulling on my nearest uniform. As I tied my sheath around my waist I wondered if Josie had bothered to wait for me. Grief hit me harder than any physical blow ever could have. Memories of the previous day came back to me and I battled a brief fight for self-control. I lost. I collapsed onto my knees before falling forwards onto all fours. Hot tears rolled down my face and onto the floor as my grief swallowed me whole. In front of my very eyes I saw a blade of sickening green lance downward to take Josie away from me. Like a scene in a movie the moment replayed in my head causing it to ache horribly. The pain was unbearable. I closed my eyes only to find that this made the images more vivid. With considerable effort I thought back to our moments of joy: passing to trainee, a particular training bout, our victories at the tournament. The good times we had together. I found that these hurt more. Sobs racked my body as I began to shake as if gripped by a chill. Each moment I relived felt as though I was being ripped apart. I could not imagine my life without her. I stayed there for most of the morning. Suddenly, without any lessening in force, my sadness changed into rage. I opened my eyes to see myself in the small puddle of tears I had created on the floor. Replacing this image was a young face lined with snow-white hair. Every part of my being gained amazing clarity as I held onto one thought: revenge.
"He will pay," I whispered to myself "HE WILL PAY!" I leapt to my feet and with all my strength, threw my gunblade at the wall. It sunk down to the hilt where it stayed, quivering. Without knocking, Illion entered my room.
"You!" I shouted at him. I grabbed where my blade should have hung at my side, but instead felt nothing but air. I attacked him anyway. Anger gave me strength and speed but he still ducked under my wild punch, drew a staff from behind his back and pushed me back onto my bed. I jumped back to my feet, emptied my reserves and used it all to send a powerful thunder spell crackling towards him. The room was lit by my careless use of my energy. With no effort at all he cast a shell that dwarfed my own spell to the point that it simply disappeared. I jumped to the wall and grabbed my gunblade. I yanked it out of the wall and swung wildly towards Illion.
I stopped in mid-turn as he calmly said "Stop." He looked for a moment at my frozen form. "I am going to release you. If you attack me again I will knock you out, walk out of this room and never return." He said, ignoring my face that was contorted with rage. Suddenly I could move again. I stopped my swing and stood as still as I could. Still, I was trembling.
"Tell me, why are you angry with me?" he said with infuriating indifference.
"Why? WHY! I'll tell you why! Josie is dead because of you! You let that thing into the tournament, you sat there and watched as he humiliated her, you watched as he killed her, watched as he ran away and then took away my chance for vengeance!" I yelled at him. It took considerable effort not to take another swing at him.
"I would like a chance to explain myself. Will you allow it?" Even in my rage I was stunned to find that a member of the council was asking my permission to say something. I said so.
"I want you to not only listen to what I have to say, but to consider it carefully."
"Out with it!" I raged, wondering how he could ask anything of me now.
"Firstly I would like to bring to your attention that I am a member of the Council of Seven. I am bound to follow tradition and I could not stop the duel until one of the rules was broken. These rules will, of course, be changed in light of yesterday." He said the last a bit quicker as I grabbed the hilt of my gunblade. His casual attitude enraged me further.
"Leon, as you would well know, is more powerful at seventeen than most people could dream of being in their lives. He has an unpredictable mind. He can be withdrawn at times and near insane in others. He has received counseling when these problems were discovered but this did nothing but make him more unpredictable. Despite this I did not imagine that he would have killed your friend. I do not believe I can be blamed for lack of this lack of foresight." As hard as I tried, I could not continue to be mad at him. His logic was impeccable.
"Back to my earlier point, Leon is incredibly powerful. You are smart enough to realize that I could not have caught him of foot which means the only method of stopping I could have used was magic. Had I have tried this I could have ended up killing or maiming the entire council as Leon has learnt the reflect spell. Also I would like to bring to your attention that the stadium is in the middle of nowhere surrounded by miles of inhabitation. Not only this, but none who competed in the tournament knew where they were because of the windowless vehicle that you were transported to the stadium in. The theory behind this is if anyone did what Leon did yesterday then they would be easily tracked and brought back to garden." I was aware that I was now being talked to like a child but a maniacal glee lit up inside me at his last words.
"So you've found him then!" I said as I flashed a triumphant smile. Illion made no attempt to answer, at which my insane grin turned back into a scowl.
"Also I do not feel any remorse for stopping you from reaching Leon. He would have killed you within a couple of minutes. I refused to let the three best trainees we have ever had at garden become lost to us on the one day. Believe it or not but the whole council, including me, see great potential in you. I do however accept responsibility for allowing Leon into the tournament. The council voted and felt that he could be a great profit to us as a SEED. If it is any conciliation, I voted that he should be expelled from Garden." I began to talk but he cut me off.
"I have one last thing to say. As a token of my deepest sympathy and under the hope that you will someday forgive the council, I have come to offer my service as a personal trainer." He said simply. I started to talk again but found that I was at a loss for words. With I flash of insight I saw that if I accepted then I would be under the council's direct control but I also saw that my best chance for revenge lay with Illion's offer.
"Can we start today?" I asked after a long pause, my lust for vengeance overwhelming any other thoughts.
"If you feel up to it." he answered and for a moment I thought I saw a flicker of a smile cross his face.
I closed my eyes to focus myself. It didn't work. I tried to look into Illion's brown eyes but found that they changed into the pools of grey nothingness that were Leon's. As he drew his weapon and took stance, I attacked him. I struck high, low and anywhere that I could swing in between. Finding a way to finally exhaust my anger I fought furiously. For several minutes my crazed attack found nothing but stout defense before Illion leapt clear. He took stance again. I noticed that it left a wide opening. I attacked again, exploiting this weakness. My frenzied blows were traded for precision and although this meant a significant decrease in speed and power, within a couple of minutes the tip of my gunblade edged his throat.
"Good," He said, "it took longer than I was hoping, but not as long as I had feared." He motioned for me to sheath my blade for a moment.
"You did find the gap in my defense but only after the second try. Tell me, why do you think that this is so?" he asked.
"Because I was fighting with anger alone for the first try. Even though the gap was obvious, I was not able to see it." I answered truthfully.
"Exactly. Now try again." He said as he took the same stance. I attacked again, aiming to exploit the weakness once again. In a few moments I found that I now had the edge of his staff resting on my temple.
"What went wrong that time?" he questioned again.
"I couldn't keep up. You were just to fast for me." I said, shaking my head.
"That's right. You realize that you have two very powerful aspects of fighting. Your mind and your rage. You are a clever boy, able to pick up things that others may miss. However you would lose this completely if you were fighting Leon and not I." My eyes narrowed at his name.
"Because of Leon, however, you now possess a strength that not even you truly perceive. Your anger and determination will make you the most powerful fighter this garden has ever produced, but you must not let this rule your thoughts as well." I stared blankly back at him. Trying a different tact he started again.
"You must treat your rage like you would a wild animal. You cannot tame it or else it will lose its ferocity. You cannot let it run free or it will become a merciless killing machine. Instead you must try to harness it. You must control it, drawing power from it, but not letting it consume your good judgment." I nodded in understanding.
"It is not as easy as it sounds though. You will most likely find that you cannot will yourself to be angry at everything. Instead you must think to yourself that every fight you win will bring you one step closer to Leon." Again I nodded.
"We will begin again now, I want to you try what I have said. I will be training you in earnest now. I am quite ready with praise when it is deserved, but I will also not be as forgiving with mistakes." For the third time I nodded. Illion turned and took three steps backward before drawing his staff again. I drew my gunblade. We took stance and I saw that his faulty stance had been replaced with a different one. I closed my eyes and did as he told me. A singular determination swept over me as I prepared myself to attack. "I must win this, I must win this." I repeated over and over in my head and in truth I think I yelled it out loud as I leapt to the attack. With an overhead strike my blade clashed with his staff and my training began. One minute of furious fighting later and I saw a fault in his style. It was gone in an instant. Again I drew it out and was sure that it was there. With one last effort I manipulated the fight so the fault was again revealed and I seized it. Suddenly I felt his iron-tipped staff crash into my cheek. I dropped heavily to the ground, as lights were beginning to appear before my eyes.
"Too slow!" he shouted, "you had two other opportunities and your final effort was a half-hearted one. Mistakes should only happen once. You may have just lost your only chance to avenge the girl." Infuriated at his reference of Josie I gained my feet unsteadily. This time he attacked. I could tell that he was holding back a lot, but I could barely keep up. As my anger burnt away with effort I realized that his attacks were patterned. Predicting his next move, I counted it early. This was rewarded by a jab in the stomach followed by another in the chin. I dropped again.
"Again, too slow!" I tasted blood on my lips as I got back on my feet. I attacked again, this time weary of any patterns or mistakes. A sudden increase in speed and strength and again I was on the ground.
"You are fighting for absolution, not for a candy bar! Pick up the act." Flushed with shame I again got to my feet. With a shout I attacked again. I put my weary body to the test as I harried him with a few thrusts and slashes. Suddenly an opening appeared and with pure reflexes if leapt at it. I miscued and my blade was knocked away.
"Better!" Illion shouted. Finding no satisfaction in this at all, I silently vowed to myself that he would not knock me to the floor again. Several hours later Illion suddenly slipped his staff back into it's holder at his back.
"I think that is enough for today." I realized that I was a mess. I took stock and found that I was sweating furiously and covered in blood and bruises. My spirit, however, was far from beaten.
"More." I gasped out.
"Now, now you are not going to become as strong as Leon in a single day. Besides, the less you train today, the more you will be able to handle tomorrow." He said, but halted anyway.
"No," I said, pausing to take a breath. "I will train as long as I can today and as long as I can tomorrow."
"Going on now would really be futile. You are too exhausted." He answered.
"Whatever doesn't kill me..." I left the rest of the ancient saying unsaid.
"None the less I must get back to the task of running the Balamb Garden." He finished. I sighed in defeat.
"When can we meet again?" I resigned to asking.
"Tomorrow. I can spare up to six hours a day." he answered.
"I would like to take every last one of them."
"Very well." Again I saw a slight smile cross his face as he walked away. I was left alone to my memories. I did not sheath my gunblade but instead continued to train by myself. No matter how hard I tried, this still did nothing to diminish the burning desire I had to see Josie one last time.
I collapsed into bed that night. I was a wreck, emotionally and physically. Over and over my mind replayed Josie's death. It was a never-ending loop of pain exaggerated by my aching limbs. To the great displeasure of my bruised and battered body, I dragged myself off the bed and headed to the shower. I undressed and climbed in. Almost frantically I turned the taps, gasping at the initial feeling of hot water on my skin. Immediately I felt my body relax. My stiff muscles loosened and I almost sighed in relief. Almost. There was still one other ache that I could not get rid of so easily. I closed my eyes and immersed myself in the strong stream of water, allowing it to pound against my head, trying to force away all my conscious thoughts. Trying and failing. I could not rinse away the blood that I saw inside my mind. Still I stayed, and soon, tears ran down my cheeks, lost amongst the water. It was a long time before I could make myself step back out into the harshness of reality, where my tears could not be mistaken for anything but. The instant I did, my body again protested. I pulled on my cadet pajamas before again collapsing into bed. This time I stayed, lacking the willpower and energy to rise again. Still I was plagued by the previous day. It seemed like a lifetime away. Part of me could not imagine my life without Josie, and yet another seemed to think that she was a dream, and my life was always like this. I felt my eyes prickle as I was brought to tears once again. I had not known how much she had meant to me, and now that I did, I couldn't do anything about it. My life had revolved around her and in a strange way it still did. This began the worst night in my young life. Nightmares and twisted delusions of pain and rage riddled my sleep. Pain and rage, I would know these words well in the time to come. I twisted and turned until my young body quite literally refused to move. And still I was haunted by the memories that I had already labeled the past. I was dreading the dawn.
I buried myself in training for the next year. I couldn't bring myself to attend Josie's funeral and so I smothered my grief under a complete determination to kill Leon. Eventually my body became accustomed to the daily abuse and this more than anything hardened me far beyond my years. Every waking moment that I was not eating, drinking or showering was spent in the training rooms. With eight hours for sleep I spent a full fifteen and a half hours a day training. While others my age were out with their friends, I was working to avenge mine. This ultimately meant I had no social life what so ever. My progress at 'harnessing the beast' with Illion advanced rapidly at first before slowing to a grinding halt. My mind and body continued to grow stronger every passing day but I could not reach a state of meditation that was necessary for a large amount of techniques he tried to teach me. However my abilities as a mage improved dramatically under his tutoring. After a year of work I was able to cast second level spells with relative ease and was even able to cast a singular third grade spell, although it fatigued me dearly. My mind had evolved as a result of Illion's hard teachings and I could now pick up on the slightest abnormality in any aspect of my life. In short, my mind became a purely analytical machine. My fighting style, general instinct and reflexes had improved to the point that I could now challenge him. Over the past year my face and body had hardened well past the age of thirteen. In direct contrast to the previous year, the tournament passed with little effort at all on my part. With unrivaled determination I finished my opponent in the final duel after ten seconds. I felt no happiness or even satisfaction at this, only the need to forget the arena forever and get back to training. My transition into becoming a full member of SEED was uneventful, with the rules being given to me during my daily training session with Illion. I was given a wardrobe of SEED uniforms and for another month my life did not change in the slightest. One training session soon after this I was given notice of my first mission from Illion. At the end of another training session, he passed me a plain folder.
"This is a list of everything will be supplied with for this mission. Your brief will be given to you formally in front of the rest of the council." He said. This was one of the rules of garden, at least four of the seven council members must be in attendance before anything officially binding can be said.
"Tomorrow you will meet with your team members, or team member I should say. After, you will go with her to the briefing room. She will show you the way. You should study everything in that folder explicitly." He began to talk again but I stopped him.
"Tell me, will I ever get a chance to fight Leon again?" I asked suddenly changing the subject. He was not the slightest bit put off by the question.
"You are impatient. You are thirteen years old and have a long way to go yet in this lifetime. My heart tells me you will meet with the reckoning you seek." This was the first time I had ever heard him reveal anything of his own feelings.
"OK then. I will try to be more patient." I said reasonably.
"No you won't. You will chafe at every moment that you are not working towards the ends you desire." He spoke with an all-knowing tone. With this he walked away. I too left the training room, to run over the folder that I had just been given. I knew that he was right. I noticed now more than ever a throbbing pain in my head that seemed to grow every day.
The next day at the appointed time I walked towards a room where I would meet my only team member for my first mission. I had read her file many times over the night and knew that she was considered as one of the best assassins in garden. I opened the door and instantly knew why. The physical description in her file did not do justice to her. One look was all it took to see that she would probably be the most beautiful woman I would ever meet. She had wavy, golden blonde hair that almost long enough to reach her waist. She had light brown eyes and a smile would turn any warm-blooded man to jelly. She smiled often. She was well proportioned and had the graceful ease of a dancer. She also teemed with daggers. All were hidden but I noticed them all the more. There was only one other man in the room who introduced me before walking out. Something about this niggled in the back of my mind.
"Hiya," She said in greeting as she held out her hand "my name's Taen"
"I know." I replied as we shook. I noticed at least three more daggers that I had missed on my first glance.
"So you're the promising rookie that I'm supposed to be looking after, eh?" She said with a grin.
"I guess so." I answered without enthusiasm.
"Let's take a walk. The only room I hate more than this one is the briefing room." With this she walked out of the room with me beside her. I realized that had I not known that she was nineteen, I could have thought she was anywhere from early twenties to as young as I was. As we walked through the crowded hallways of the garden, something again ate at my mind. It took a few minutes before it clicked. Even with her dazzling smile, she didn't get any admiring glances from the men that she passed and seemed to make the women look away in discomfort.
"Lesbian wasn't on your file." I said casually. She laughed.
"Oh you're a quick one all right." She said with affirmation.
"Is there anything else that I should know, or are you going to wait for me to figure everything out myself?"
"Nope I think that's it. Are you this grumpy all the time?" I started to talk but she cut me off "I'm sorry, of course you are. Hell, if I had a childhood like yours I'd be grumpy too." I laughed at this obvious lack of tact. It sounded strange to my own ears. I had not heard it since Josie's death.
"If you don't mind me saying, you seem to lack the subtlety of a brilliant assassin." For the second time she laughed in response.
"Now what type of brilliant assassin would I be if I was exactly what I look and sound like?" I didn't answer, so she did. "I'll tell you what type, a dead one." I saw that, like Josie, her smile was irremovable.
"We should go to the briefing room." Was my only reply.
"Yeah, might as well get this over and done with." She flicked a strand of hair behind her ear and changed directions slightly. We took the lift to the third floor before we were told to wait by a pair of SEEDs that didn't seem to be doing anything besides guarding a large doorway sealed by two wooden doors. We took seats as they were offered to us. Taen sighed and said in an undertone.
"They always make us wait, doesn't matter if you're early or late, they always make us wait." It was five minutes later before the two men opened the doors to us. Taen was on her feet a second later and marched into the room with me on her heels. The doors shut behind us. The room was almost completely empty save for a large wooden bench that all the council members sat behind. I did not fail to notice that all seven members were in attendance. Illion had said that there were usually only four at a briefing. Taen and I saluted in traditional SEED style and stood at attention before Illion talked to us.
"Welcome. Your mission will be to assassinate a political power in the Galbedian region." He handed Taen a few photos. "Our client for this mission wishes to remain anonymous. In two days from now a ball will be held at the Galbedia hotel. Your target will be in attendance. This is a mission of most importance and you must achieve success by any means necessary." He emphasized the last three words strongly. He looked at Taen. "You are squad commander and it will be your job to take down the target as covertly as possible. The quieter the better. You are strongly urged to make it look like an accident." He turned to me. "You are to support Taen in any way she sees fit. However if the covert attempt does not succeed it will be your job to assault the target head on. The target must be killed under all circumstances. Casualties must be kept to a minimum. You will be given your equipment and any extra information you require tonight, as you depart for Galbedia. You have heard the mission brief. Do you accept?" I had been told that this question was traditional only and a negative response would be ignored. Taen and I murmured our assent before we were dismissed.
"Sounds fun" Taen murmured sarcastically.
"It shouldn't be too difficult," I said back "this is my first mission after all."
"I thought you of all people would have picked up on the fine print. 'Casualties must be kept to a minimum' is code for 'if you need to attack him head on, your gunna have to kill more than him'." I didn't reply.
"You're no fun." She said after a time before running off. I shook my head and altered my course to the training room.
"Can I have your tickets please?" said the doorman monotonously. I handed over the tickets before escorting Taen into the hotel. The SEED had worked wonders on my appearance and I now appeared to be in my late teens, but still as ageless as Taen. We were both in formal dress but somehow the SEED had managed to hide my gunblade within my clothing. They hadn't needed to do the same for Taen's daggers. We entered the ballroom. I scanned it as unobtrusively as I could. Even if I didn't know what our target looked like, I could have figured it out in a second. He was the only one who was surrounded by bodyguards.
"OK, we're a young couple out to have fun. I know it might be hard for you, but smile and laugh a lot when we're talking." Taen whispered in my ear.
"I count sixteen potential threats." I said in what I hoped looked like, light-hearted banter. Taen laughed.
"I got fifteen. The two guys outside with rifles are hardy potential threats." Keeping my expression light I scanned the room again.
"I missed the sax player." I admitted with an attempted smile. Taen laughed again.
"Come on lets dance." She said loud enough for most to hear. I put up enough resistance to not seem out of place before I let her pull me out to the dance floor. As soon as we were close enough that no one else could hear we began our planning.
"How long to you think he will stay?" I asked, leaving a smile on my face.
"I don't know why he's here so it's hard to tell. But what I do know is that he will be awfully pissed off at being hounded by those dogs of his." She somehow managed to look embarrassed as she said this. She's good, I thought.
"Are those snipers outside his men or are they here to kill him too?" I said laughing. I glanced around quickly, making sure that no one was suspicious.
"I dunno. But I think that I might give them a chance to shoot if they're against him." she said with all the likeness of shyness. She pulled out a small vial. "This is for backup." I was suddenly aware that she had moved all of her daggers onto me.
"Your going unarmed." I said frowning.
"Frown again and I'll stick you with one of those daggers." She said cheekily. I could tell that she was completely serious though.
"OK so what's your plan." I replied, again laughing.
Ten minutes later we were ready. The politician was still in attendance and was indeed starting to become annoyed at his bodyguard's complete reluctance to let anyone talk to him. I mimed a quick statement to Taen before walking over to get myself a drink. I watched from the corner of my eye as Taen discreetly pour the vial of poison into her own drink. She slyly looked in my direction before walking off towards our target. I looked around the room. If anyone had noticed our conversation on the ballroom, they didn't show it. Taen smiled widely and I watched, as our target seemed to become enchanted with her. I smiled slightly. The bodyguards intercepted her and she used her magic on them too. It didn't work. They seemed insistent to make sure that she wasn't hiding any weapons. She indignantly disagreed and, true to her word, managed to draw the bodyguards far enough away to give the snipers outside a perfect shot. It didn't happen. I showed no reaction but I was slightly disappointed. After a short struggle the politician offered to do the search himself. Taen smiled knowingly before obligingly giving herself over. Five minutes later the search was over (the man seemed to check certain areas very carefully) and another struggle began. My heart sank as I saw the guards try to take Taen's poisoned drink away. I clutched the handle of my hidden weapon and started to walk towards them. I tipped a second vial into my own drink. Taen drank half of hers as proof that her drink was untainted. I knew the poison was now moving through her system so I sped up my walk. I drained half of my own glass. Taen sat down next to our target and offered him the drink. He nodded stupidly as he watched her drink the rest of her own drink before kissing him deeply. I knew she was passing the poison onto him. I reached them and shouted in outrage.
"How dare you!" I shouted at the politician. His bodyguards came to his immediate aid and pushed me back. I took another drink from my glass and yelled drunken curses at them. Taen pushed through the press of body's and quietly comforted me before kissing me. I passed the antidote that was contained in my own drink on to her. In drunken pride I grabbed her arm roughly before dragging her out of the hotel. We were out of the hotel about three seconds before Taen spat on the ground and wiped her mouth furiously.
"The things I'll do for money." She muttered. I couldn't help but laugh. We walked back to our dispatch vehicle. Ten minutes later we were alone and I began talking.
"Will the antidote work?" I asked Taen.
"If not then I'd be dead by now." She replied.
"Will the poison work?" I asked again.
"I gave him enough to kill him and all of his bodyguards." She said confidently. I breathed in relief.
"Well, wasn't that fun?" she asked me after a pause. I didn't reply.
We got back to Garden the next day and were immediately summoned to a debriefing.
"The mission was successful in all accounts. The target was neutralized without any suspicion falling on our part. It could be days before they figure out how he died. There were no other casualties." Taen droned to the council.
"Well done. Your pay will be sent to your accounts. We will notify you if there is anything more that will become of this. You are dismissed." Said Illion in his concise manner. Taen and I left together before going our separate ways. "It's been a pleasure working with you." I said politely.
"Back at ya, kid." She replied before walking off. I turned and immediately started walking to the training room. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't stop myself wishing that Josie had been with me on my first mission. I reached my destination only to find that Illion had somehow beaten me there.
"So how was your first mission?" he asked when he saw me.
"Successful on all accounts." I replied as I drew my gunblade.
"So I've heard." He murmured. He pulled out his staff. "You know the council is very impressed with your work."
"My work? I don't think so. Taen did most of it." I said before sending a fire spell at him. He brushed it away easily.
"Never-the-less, we would like you to do another mission soon. Do you think you are up to it?"
"Anytime." I sprung onto the attack. Illion fended me away before jumping back.
"How did you find working with Taen?" he asked. He fired a spell of his own at me. I leapt aside.
"She is very good at what she does." I attacked again this time without ceasing. I was becoming frustrated at being cross-examined. Hours later Illion announced that we were finished for the day and he left the room. Again alone, I continued to train, continuing towards my goal. Only minutes later I heard someone else enter. I turned to find Taen.
"Wow, your a mess." She said, as tactless as always.
"And you are here why?" I said, somewhat annoyed.
"Well if you are going to be mean I'll just leave," apparently this was not an option "I heard some news today that I thought might interest you. Leon has apparently been attacking some of the SEED dispatches. He usually attacks groups of five or so. There was only one survivor out of the lot, who only survived because he wanted her to. Someone has to carry the news of death and destruction."
"Is this news or gossip." I asked skeptically.
"News. Do you really think I would come here if it was only gossip?" she asked indignity.
"No. But why did you tell me?" I replied.
"Well I just figured that since you seemed to be good pals with one of the council, you might be able to get yourself into a dispatch of, let's say, five or so." She said winking. "But you didn't hear it from me 'kay? It's top secret and not to be spread around." With this she left. The logical part of my mind warred with the vengeful part as I considered whether or not I should go to see Illion now.
"I've waited for a year now. I can wait another day." I said out loud. With this I returned to my training.
A month later and I was thoroughly frustrated. I had been dropping subtle and even not so subtle hints that I wanted to be back out on dispatch and yet the council seemed determined to keep me at the garden. The worst part was that I knew exactly why, but I couldn't bring it up without betraying Taen. Training with Illion left me tense but I still progressed. I was now equal with him in fighting, but he still was a much more powerful mage than I was. Just when I thought I couldn't handle it anymore, I received my second mission. Illion handed me a folder and again told me to memorize it. I opened it and began to read. Immediately I became enraged.
"Alone!" I shouted. "You're sending me out alone!"
"It wasn't just my decision and if you read the whole thing you would find that it only really requires one person." He said coolly.
"But!" I started.
"But what?" his eyes narrowed. Again I was forced into silence. "You will have your briefing tomorrow morning." I raged inwardly as he left the room. I read the rest of the folder, which only infuriated me more. I would be working for another anonymous party and my goal was to get an adamantine dagger. It was located in a giant building and I had been given explicit instructions not to leave the designated area under any circumstances. It could not have been clearer what these circumstances might be. Furious that I had again been kept away from Leon I continued training alone.
The next morning found me in the briefing room after another long wait in the room before.
"This is a simple mission that should be achieved with relative ease. You simply have to get the dagger. We have been informed that getting to the dagger may prove troublesome but it will be nothing that a trainee couldn't handle." This struck me as odd but I remained quiet.
"You will not need any extra equipment and you will be transported the location tonight ready for a early start the next day. As is said in your brief, you must not leave or deviate from this task under any circumstances. You have heard the mission brief. Do you accept?" Illion asked. Before I answered I was dismissed. I went to the training room straight after. Illion was not here this time. He was not there when I left the room to get ready for my mission later that day either. Adding this to my stockpile of frustration I made my way to the parking lot for transportation.
The building was just like it was described. Big and old. It looked closer to a giant ruin instead of a building. The only thing noteworthy was two stained glass windows at the very top, which seemed to overlook the nearby lake. There, I figured, was the dagger. I pushed open the giant metal doors. They were old and rusty and I had to strain to open them. I made my way to the centre of the room as I entered. It was relatively small and had little more that a couple of ancient statues lining it before another metal door. I moved over and pushed it. It didn't budge. I moved back to the front door to get my transporter only to find that it wouldn't open either. My patience was just about at its limit. My eyes blazed as I turned my attention to the four statues. On this examination I found that one was a little different to the others. The giant hands of the giant man that it depicted had a finger out of place. I pushed the finger back and the door leading further into the building clicked open. Feeling distinctly like I was playing a poor video game I moved through the door. I felt it slam behind me. I pushed it but it again wouldn't move. The room I had entered was pitch black. I felt my way along the mossy wall trying to feel if anything was out of place. It wasn't long before the wall turned and I felt my way to a staircase. I moved upwards until the stair ended. From the moment I left the last stair the room brightened. I drew my gunblade in surprise. I looked back at the staircase and could see only darkness. I put one foot on the stairs and found that I again couldn't see. I stepped back off and light again entered the room. I suddenly realized that there were no sources of light. It was simply there. A month of frustration meant that I didn't really care as much as I usually would have and so as I moved on. I had entered a huge room that had a huge metal wall leading upwards to a doorway. The wall was covered in horizontal slits barely twenty centremetres in length. I moved and examined one of them. A blade was suddenly pushed through a slit to my left. It moved so fast that it seemed to appear out of thin air. I leapt backwards as blades began appearing all over the wall. I stopped and studied this for a while. The blades would come out at a different length each time and would go back in after a while only to come out again later. Suddenly I figured what it was that I needed to do.
"No way!" I shouted to thin air. "Trainee my ass!" Again I was hit with understanding. The person I was working for was a member of SEED or at least at garden. How else would they know what trainees were capable of? Again I found that I didn't really care. I muttered a few curses before drawing myself back to the task at hand. I watched the blades and tried to work out some sort of pattern. After half an hour of watching I was certain that there was none. What I did notice though was that a blade would not appear above, below or beside a blade that was already out. I also saw that the closer the blades came to the doorway at the top, the faster they withdrew. Shaking my head one last time, I cast a protect before running at the wall. I leapt onto the closest blade using it as a stepping stone to the next one. A blade suddenly appeared to my right and I leapt on it. Another blade appeared and I made my way higher still. Reflexes saved me countless times as I leapt from a withdrawing blade onto others that had only just appeared. I concentrated intensely on my next step. A few minutes later I saw with relief that I was only a few jumps to the top. Suddenly the blade I was standing on withdrew. My mind raced in the milisecond I had before I was falling. I float spell was on my lips before I realized that if I slowed my fall I would get skewered for sure. Instead I drew my blade. Timing was crucial. I thrusted at the wall putting my blade down one of the slits. I gasped in pain as I jerked to a stop. My shoulders were burning with pain but I knew I had to react before one of the blades I was in front of came out. A blade appeared to my left and I pulled myself onto it. Sheathing my blade, I once again began my slow progress to the top. Twenty minutes and three falls later I collapsed through the doorway. I was dripping with perspiration and my shoulders felt as though they had been ripped from their sockets. I was not in a good mood as I forced myself to sit up. I stayed long enough to regain my breath before I walked into a long corridor. I walked until I reached a flight of stairs leading to another corridor in the opposite direction. I groaned but began to walk again. This corridor lead to yet another staircase. Forcing my legs to move up the stairs, I entered a large room with a spiraling staircase in the centre. I looked up the spiral and couldn't see the top. Succumbing to exhaustion and frustration I sat back on the ground and muttered
"It has giant walls with blades but no fricken lifts." I rested for what could have been a couple of minutes or a couple of hours. Time seemed to lose meaning in this place. When I felt up to it I started to tackle the giant set of stairs. For the first time since I entered this place, I found something that actually looked worse than it was. I entered a shadowed room that was lit only by the light that shone through the huge stained glass window. On a table in the middle of the room was a black dagger suspended in the air by a green aura. With a smile I walked over to it.
"All this over a dagger" I murmured as I tried to grab the hilt. My hand passed straight through it.
Recognizing it immediately as a hologram I spun and drew my gunblade.
As I edged to the wall I shouted, "What's going on?" There was no answer. I put my back to the wall. "What's going on?" I repeated. Again no answer. I stayed completely still as I studied the room. I remained this way for several minutes.
"Why don't you check the dagger again?" Said a mocking voice. "You're pretty good you know. I was expecting to get a few failed attempts at the wall before someone got through."
"Failed attempts? A failed attempt means death you..." I stopped as comprehension hit me. "Leon!" I shouted.
"Damn. How did you know? Was it the trainee thing? I bet it was. Oh well I'd better give you what you came for." He drew his gunblade. It was glowing a slight green. He walked into the light he was dressed the same way as I had ever seen him. In fact the only difference in his appearance at all was the thin scar that ran across his face.
"I see you're admiring the mark that your little friend gave me. Still, I can't help but think that I got the better part of that deal." He laughed loudly and his mythril blade glowed brighter. He threw the black dagger on the floor. My hands were trembling with rage. The fatigue of the day was ignored as my lust for revenge took over my body. I pulled back my blade and leapt at him. He pulled back his own blade. We clashed with a loud ring. With amazing speed he disengaged and swung at my head. I ducked under the blow and thrusted at his mid-section. With a flick of the wrist he knocked my blade away. My rage took complete control as I slashed wildly at him. He parried each blow but was forced backwards. I took a step backwards and, with a cry of rage, put my weight behind a thrust at his throat. He ducked and spun away. With a hand outstretched he drew energy. I drew energy of my own into a shell then leapt at him.
"Fira!" Leon shouted as a wave of immense heat leapt towards me. I hit the flames head on and kept going. Leon dived away in alarm as my blade slashed over his head. As I took stance he regained his feet and brushed himself off.
"Not bad. You're much better than I was at your age. There was enough power in your shell to take my spell easily. I bet the council is very pleased with your progress." He said casually but his gunblade had lost its glow. I paid absolutely no attention at his words at all. I sent a quick thunder spell crackling towards him. It was easily nullified but I leapt in after it. Leon parried before launching his own attack. He sent a flurry of thrusts in my direction as I leapt aside. Again I attacked and again I was fended off. This time Leon struck first. He thrusted at my mid-section. I spun forward and swung my own blade at his head. Instinct saved him as he rolled away. Again he casually brushed himself off before taking his stance. Despite his cocky attitude I could see that he was sweating. With a cry, he attacked. He swung his blade low and hard. Knowing better than to try and parry, I leapt over it and landed a kick in his chest. Leon gasped in pain before renewing his attack. He assaulted me with a barrage of fira spells that I nimbly dodged. Again he attacked and we both joined the true fight. Our blades were blurs as we battled for an advantage over the other. Our blades clashed loud enough to make my ears ring but my rage carried me beyond the limit of my endurance. As I back-flipped under a slash at my head, we parted. The last of my anger ebbed away to be replaced by exhaustion. I quickly took stock. My legs seemed to be groaning in the outrage of standing and I could barely lift my blade. Although he still had his cocky swagger, a slight tremble of Leon's legs and a loosening of grip on the handle of his blade told me that he was exhausted too. We advanced on each other only stopping within striking range. In unison drew back our blades. With sudden ferocity that made my limbs scream in protest I spun and put the last of my strength into an upward slash at Leon's head. Leon had done much the same, only downward. Our blades clashed for a moment before I felt the resistance of Leon's green blade dissipate, and my blade continue upward. I let momentum carry me around and I collapsed to me knees. Relief flooded me as I felt sure that I had at last got my revenge. Finally Josie death had been avenged. I heard a blade fall to the ground. I felt hot tears roll down my face and I used a hand to wipe them away. I found it bloody. Confusion hit as I felt the pain of the cut on my face at last. I wheeled in confusion and found that Leon was still standing and grinning widely. His blade was illuminating the room in its sickly green light.
"Don't tell me you still use the gunblade that garden gives you?" I looked at the handle that I was gripping and saw the rest of my blade on the floor. Common sense prevailed as I realized that my own blade had done well to survive against mythril as long as it had. I stood up quickly and took my martial arts stance. Leon laughed evilly. His blade grew brighter and his fatigue seemed to disappear as he walked towards me. Knowing that I didn't stand a chance without a blade I edged towards the door only to find it locked.
"Oh come on. Use your brains. Even if you did get through that door you wouldn't have a chance at getting back down the wall." Leon taunted. A sudden calmness quenched my fears.
"I will not die today," I murmured to him. "I will not die unless you're lying in the grave next to me."
"I'm afraid I'm not giving you a choice." He said, smiling wider. I felt my fatigue give way to another feeling, a primitive determination to live. Leon continued to advance. With a cry of pure effort I emptied the energy from my untouched reserves and fashioned them into a spell.
"Firaga!" I shouted as a ball of flame erupted from my open palms. Leon's face lost its cruel grin and changed to one of uttermost concentration as he drew on his own reserves to create a shell. My spell hit him and for a few moments it battled with his barrier. Leon cried in outrage and exhaustion as he battled to create his shell faster than my spell destroyed it. This was all I needed. I forced my legs into a run as I moved past him. I slowed down only slightly to pick up the black dagger on the floor. I threw it at the giant stained glass window. It shattered moments before I dived through.
Fear gripped me as I saw how high I was. The lake seemed a long way down. The discipline I had been taught by Illion paid off as I resisted the urge drift into unconsciousness. I focused my mind and drew energy before casting a float spell. I felt myself slow down.
"Not enough!" I shouted. I saw the dagger was next to me and snatched it. At least they can't complain that I didn't stick to my mission, I thought wildly. I stuck my hands and legs out as wide as I could and forced myself into a spin. Again I slowed down slightly. Faster and faster I spun until the effort made me cry out in pain. I felt the air rip at my limbs for what seemed like hours. Suddenly I hit the water. The impact forced the air from my lungs and almost made me lose consciousness. I opened my eyes and wheeled in panic. Exhaustion and lack of air had left me disorientated. Again discipline paid off as I dropped the dagger that I held. I watched the direction it fell and suddenly the world spun into perspective. I grabbed the dagger again and swam towards the surface. My lungs were screaming with pain and my arms and legs begged for a break but still I swam. As suddenly as I had entered it, my head broke the surface. I took in the first few painful breaths before I again began to swim, this time towards the shore. A few minutes later I crawled up the bank. The next hour become a haze of pain as I walked, crawled then dragged myself to my mission dispatch. I saw my transporter say something before running towards me. I fell into darkness. My last feeling was one of shame. I had just gotten my chance, and I had failed.
'
I awoke the next morning to find the sun well and truly in the sky. I cursed myself for sleeping in before getting up and pulling on my nearest uniform. As I tied my sheath around my waist I wondered if Josie had bothered to wait for me. Grief hit me harder than any physical blow ever could have. Memories of the previous day came back to me and I battled a brief fight for self-control. I lost. I collapsed onto my knees before falling forwards onto all fours. Hot tears rolled down my face and onto the floor as my grief swallowed me whole. In front of my very eyes I saw a blade of sickening green lance downward to take Josie away from me. Like a scene in a movie the moment replayed in my head causing it to ache horribly. The pain was unbearable. I closed my eyes only to find that this made the images more vivid. With considerable effort I thought back to our moments of joy: passing to trainee, a particular training bout, our victories at the tournament. The good times we had together. I found that these hurt more. Sobs racked my body as I began to shake as if gripped by a chill. Each moment I relived felt as though I was being ripped apart. I could not imagine my life without her. I stayed there for most of the morning. Suddenly, without any lessening in force, my sadness changed into rage. I opened my eyes to see myself in the small puddle of tears I had created on the floor. Replacing this image was a young face lined with snow-white hair. Every part of my being gained amazing clarity as I held onto one thought: revenge.
"He will pay," I whispered to myself "HE WILL PAY!" I leapt to my feet and with all my strength, threw my gunblade at the wall. It sunk down to the hilt where it stayed, quivering. Without knocking, Illion entered my room.
"You!" I shouted at him. I grabbed where my blade should have hung at my side, but instead felt nothing but air. I attacked him anyway. Anger gave me strength and speed but he still ducked under my wild punch, drew a staff from behind his back and pushed me back onto my bed. I jumped back to my feet, emptied my reserves and used it all to send a powerful thunder spell crackling towards him. The room was lit by my careless use of my energy. With no effort at all he cast a shell that dwarfed my own spell to the point that it simply disappeared. I jumped to the wall and grabbed my gunblade. I yanked it out of the wall and swung wildly towards Illion.
I stopped in mid-turn as he calmly said "Stop." He looked for a moment at my frozen form. "I am going to release you. If you attack me again I will knock you out, walk out of this room and never return." He said, ignoring my face that was contorted with rage. Suddenly I could move again. I stopped my swing and stood as still as I could. Still, I was trembling.
"Tell me, why are you angry with me?" he said with infuriating indifference.
"Why? WHY! I'll tell you why! Josie is dead because of you! You let that thing into the tournament, you sat there and watched as he humiliated her, you watched as he killed her, watched as he ran away and then took away my chance for vengeance!" I yelled at him. It took considerable effort not to take another swing at him.
"I would like a chance to explain myself. Will you allow it?" Even in my rage I was stunned to find that a member of the council was asking my permission to say something. I said so.
"I want you to not only listen to what I have to say, but to consider it carefully."
"Out with it!" I raged, wondering how he could ask anything of me now.
"Firstly I would like to bring to your attention that I am a member of the Council of Seven. I am bound to follow tradition and I could not stop the duel until one of the rules was broken. These rules will, of course, be changed in light of yesterday." He said the last a bit quicker as I grabbed the hilt of my gunblade. His casual attitude enraged me further.
"Leon, as you would well know, is more powerful at seventeen than most people could dream of being in their lives. He has an unpredictable mind. He can be withdrawn at times and near insane in others. He has received counseling when these problems were discovered but this did nothing but make him more unpredictable. Despite this I did not imagine that he would have killed your friend. I do not believe I can be blamed for lack of this lack of foresight." As hard as I tried, I could not continue to be mad at him. His logic was impeccable.
"Back to my earlier point, Leon is incredibly powerful. You are smart enough to realize that I could not have caught him of foot which means the only method of stopping I could have used was magic. Had I have tried this I could have ended up killing or maiming the entire council as Leon has learnt the reflect spell. Also I would like to bring to your attention that the stadium is in the middle of nowhere surrounded by miles of inhabitation. Not only this, but none who competed in the tournament knew where they were because of the windowless vehicle that you were transported to the stadium in. The theory behind this is if anyone did what Leon did yesterday then they would be easily tracked and brought back to garden." I was aware that I was now being talked to like a child but a maniacal glee lit up inside me at his last words.
"So you've found him then!" I said as I flashed a triumphant smile. Illion made no attempt to answer, at which my insane grin turned back into a scowl.
"Also I do not feel any remorse for stopping you from reaching Leon. He would have killed you within a couple of minutes. I refused to let the three best trainees we have ever had at garden become lost to us on the one day. Believe it or not but the whole council, including me, see great potential in you. I do however accept responsibility for allowing Leon into the tournament. The council voted and felt that he could be a great profit to us as a SEED. If it is any conciliation, I voted that he should be expelled from Garden." I began to talk but he cut me off.
"I have one last thing to say. As a token of my deepest sympathy and under the hope that you will someday forgive the council, I have come to offer my service as a personal trainer." He said simply. I started to talk again but found that I was at a loss for words. With I flash of insight I saw that if I accepted then I would be under the council's direct control but I also saw that my best chance for revenge lay with Illion's offer.
"Can we start today?" I asked after a long pause, my lust for vengeance overwhelming any other thoughts.
"If you feel up to it." he answered and for a moment I thought I saw a flicker of a smile cross his face.
I closed my eyes to focus myself. It didn't work. I tried to look into Illion's brown eyes but found that they changed into the pools of grey nothingness that were Leon's. As he drew his weapon and took stance, I attacked him. I struck high, low and anywhere that I could swing in between. Finding a way to finally exhaust my anger I fought furiously. For several minutes my crazed attack found nothing but stout defense before Illion leapt clear. He took stance again. I noticed that it left a wide opening. I attacked again, exploiting this weakness. My frenzied blows were traded for precision and although this meant a significant decrease in speed and power, within a couple of minutes the tip of my gunblade edged his throat.
"Good," He said, "it took longer than I was hoping, but not as long as I had feared." He motioned for me to sheath my blade for a moment.
"You did find the gap in my defense but only after the second try. Tell me, why do you think that this is so?" he asked.
"Because I was fighting with anger alone for the first try. Even though the gap was obvious, I was not able to see it." I answered truthfully.
"Exactly. Now try again." He said as he took the same stance. I attacked again, aiming to exploit the weakness once again. In a few moments I found that I now had the edge of his staff resting on my temple.
"What went wrong that time?" he questioned again.
"I couldn't keep up. You were just to fast for me." I said, shaking my head.
"That's right. You realize that you have two very powerful aspects of fighting. Your mind and your rage. You are a clever boy, able to pick up things that others may miss. However you would lose this completely if you were fighting Leon and not I." My eyes narrowed at his name.
"Because of Leon, however, you now possess a strength that not even you truly perceive. Your anger and determination will make you the most powerful fighter this garden has ever produced, but you must not let this rule your thoughts as well." I stared blankly back at him. Trying a different tact he started again.
"You must treat your rage like you would a wild animal. You cannot tame it or else it will lose its ferocity. You cannot let it run free or it will become a merciless killing machine. Instead you must try to harness it. You must control it, drawing power from it, but not letting it consume your good judgment." I nodded in understanding.
"It is not as easy as it sounds though. You will most likely find that you cannot will yourself to be angry at everything. Instead you must think to yourself that every fight you win will bring you one step closer to Leon." Again I nodded.
"We will begin again now, I want to you try what I have said. I will be training you in earnest now. I am quite ready with praise when it is deserved, but I will also not be as forgiving with mistakes." For the third time I nodded. Illion turned and took three steps backward before drawing his staff again. I drew my gunblade. We took stance and I saw that his faulty stance had been replaced with a different one. I closed my eyes and did as he told me. A singular determination swept over me as I prepared myself to attack. "I must win this, I must win this." I repeated over and over in my head and in truth I think I yelled it out loud as I leapt to the attack. With an overhead strike my blade clashed with his staff and my training began. One minute of furious fighting later and I saw a fault in his style. It was gone in an instant. Again I drew it out and was sure that it was there. With one last effort I manipulated the fight so the fault was again revealed and I seized it. Suddenly I felt his iron-tipped staff crash into my cheek. I dropped heavily to the ground, as lights were beginning to appear before my eyes.
"Too slow!" he shouted, "you had two other opportunities and your final effort was a half-hearted one. Mistakes should only happen once. You may have just lost your only chance to avenge the girl." Infuriated at his reference of Josie I gained my feet unsteadily. This time he attacked. I could tell that he was holding back a lot, but I could barely keep up. As my anger burnt away with effort I realized that his attacks were patterned. Predicting his next move, I counted it early. This was rewarded by a jab in the stomach followed by another in the chin. I dropped again.
"Again, too slow!" I tasted blood on my lips as I got back on my feet. I attacked again, this time weary of any patterns or mistakes. A sudden increase in speed and strength and again I was on the ground.
"You are fighting for absolution, not for a candy bar! Pick up the act." Flushed with shame I again got to my feet. With a shout I attacked again. I put my weary body to the test as I harried him with a few thrusts and slashes. Suddenly an opening appeared and with pure reflexes if leapt at it. I miscued and my blade was knocked away.
"Better!" Illion shouted. Finding no satisfaction in this at all, I silently vowed to myself that he would not knock me to the floor again. Several hours later Illion suddenly slipped his staff back into it's holder at his back.
"I think that is enough for today." I realized that I was a mess. I took stock and found that I was sweating furiously and covered in blood and bruises. My spirit, however, was far from beaten.
"More." I gasped out.
"Now, now you are not going to become as strong as Leon in a single day. Besides, the less you train today, the more you will be able to handle tomorrow." He said, but halted anyway.
"No," I said, pausing to take a breath. "I will train as long as I can today and as long as I can tomorrow."
"Going on now would really be futile. You are too exhausted." He answered.
"Whatever doesn't kill me..." I left the rest of the ancient saying unsaid.
"None the less I must get back to the task of running the Balamb Garden." He finished. I sighed in defeat.
"When can we meet again?" I resigned to asking.
"Tomorrow. I can spare up to six hours a day." he answered.
"I would like to take every last one of them."
"Very well." Again I saw a slight smile cross his face as he walked away. I was left alone to my memories. I did not sheath my gunblade but instead continued to train by myself. No matter how hard I tried, this still did nothing to diminish the burning desire I had to see Josie one last time.
I collapsed into bed that night. I was a wreck, emotionally and physically. Over and over my mind replayed Josie's death. It was a never-ending loop of pain exaggerated by my aching limbs. To the great displeasure of my bruised and battered body, I dragged myself off the bed and headed to the shower. I undressed and climbed in. Almost frantically I turned the taps, gasping at the initial feeling of hot water on my skin. Immediately I felt my body relax. My stiff muscles loosened and I almost sighed in relief. Almost. There was still one other ache that I could not get rid of so easily. I closed my eyes and immersed myself in the strong stream of water, allowing it to pound against my head, trying to force away all my conscious thoughts. Trying and failing. I could not rinse away the blood that I saw inside my mind. Still I stayed, and soon, tears ran down my cheeks, lost amongst the water. It was a long time before I could make myself step back out into the harshness of reality, where my tears could not be mistaken for anything but. The instant I did, my body again protested. I pulled on my cadet pajamas before again collapsing into bed. This time I stayed, lacking the willpower and energy to rise again. Still I was plagued by the previous day. It seemed like a lifetime away. Part of me could not imagine my life without Josie, and yet another seemed to think that she was a dream, and my life was always like this. I felt my eyes prickle as I was brought to tears once again. I had not known how much she had meant to me, and now that I did, I couldn't do anything about it. My life had revolved around her and in a strange way it still did. This began the worst night in my young life. Nightmares and twisted delusions of pain and rage riddled my sleep. Pain and rage, I would know these words well in the time to come. I twisted and turned until my young body quite literally refused to move. And still I was haunted by the memories that I had already labeled the past. I was dreading the dawn.
I buried myself in training for the next year. I couldn't bring myself to attend Josie's funeral and so I smothered my grief under a complete determination to kill Leon. Eventually my body became accustomed to the daily abuse and this more than anything hardened me far beyond my years. Every waking moment that I was not eating, drinking or showering was spent in the training rooms. With eight hours for sleep I spent a full fifteen and a half hours a day training. While others my age were out with their friends, I was working to avenge mine. This ultimately meant I had no social life what so ever. My progress at 'harnessing the beast' with Illion advanced rapidly at first before slowing to a grinding halt. My mind and body continued to grow stronger every passing day but I could not reach a state of meditation that was necessary for a large amount of techniques he tried to teach me. However my abilities as a mage improved dramatically under his tutoring. After a year of work I was able to cast second level spells with relative ease and was even able to cast a singular third grade spell, although it fatigued me dearly. My mind had evolved as a result of Illion's hard teachings and I could now pick up on the slightest abnormality in any aspect of my life. In short, my mind became a purely analytical machine. My fighting style, general instinct and reflexes had improved to the point that I could now challenge him. Over the past year my face and body had hardened well past the age of thirteen. In direct contrast to the previous year, the tournament passed with little effort at all on my part. With unrivaled determination I finished my opponent in the final duel after ten seconds. I felt no happiness or even satisfaction at this, only the need to forget the arena forever and get back to training. My transition into becoming a full member of SEED was uneventful, with the rules being given to me during my daily training session with Illion. I was given a wardrobe of SEED uniforms and for another month my life did not change in the slightest. One training session soon after this I was given notice of my first mission from Illion. At the end of another training session, he passed me a plain folder.
"This is a list of everything will be supplied with for this mission. Your brief will be given to you formally in front of the rest of the council." He said. This was one of the rules of garden, at least four of the seven council members must be in attendance before anything officially binding can be said.
"Tomorrow you will meet with your team members, or team member I should say. After, you will go with her to the briefing room. She will show you the way. You should study everything in that folder explicitly." He began to talk again but I stopped him.
"Tell me, will I ever get a chance to fight Leon again?" I asked suddenly changing the subject. He was not the slightest bit put off by the question.
"You are impatient. You are thirteen years old and have a long way to go yet in this lifetime. My heart tells me you will meet with the reckoning you seek." This was the first time I had ever heard him reveal anything of his own feelings.
"OK then. I will try to be more patient." I said reasonably.
"No you won't. You will chafe at every moment that you are not working towards the ends you desire." He spoke with an all-knowing tone. With this he walked away. I too left the training room, to run over the folder that I had just been given. I knew that he was right. I noticed now more than ever a throbbing pain in my head that seemed to grow every day.
The next day at the appointed time I walked towards a room where I would meet my only team member for my first mission. I had read her file many times over the night and knew that she was considered as one of the best assassins in garden. I opened the door and instantly knew why. The physical description in her file did not do justice to her. One look was all it took to see that she would probably be the most beautiful woman I would ever meet. She had wavy, golden blonde hair that almost long enough to reach her waist. She had light brown eyes and a smile would turn any warm-blooded man to jelly. She smiled often. She was well proportioned and had the graceful ease of a dancer. She also teemed with daggers. All were hidden but I noticed them all the more. There was only one other man in the room who introduced me before walking out. Something about this niggled in the back of my mind.
"Hiya," She said in greeting as she held out her hand "my name's Taen"
"I know." I replied as we shook. I noticed at least three more daggers that I had missed on my first glance.
"So you're the promising rookie that I'm supposed to be looking after, eh?" She said with a grin.
"I guess so." I answered without enthusiasm.
"Let's take a walk. The only room I hate more than this one is the briefing room." With this she walked out of the room with me beside her. I realized that had I not known that she was nineteen, I could have thought she was anywhere from early twenties to as young as I was. As we walked through the crowded hallways of the garden, something again ate at my mind. It took a few minutes before it clicked. Even with her dazzling smile, she didn't get any admiring glances from the men that she passed and seemed to make the women look away in discomfort.
"Lesbian wasn't on your file." I said casually. She laughed.
"Oh you're a quick one all right." She said with affirmation.
"Is there anything else that I should know, or are you going to wait for me to figure everything out myself?"
"Nope I think that's it. Are you this grumpy all the time?" I started to talk but she cut me off "I'm sorry, of course you are. Hell, if I had a childhood like yours I'd be grumpy too." I laughed at this obvious lack of tact. It sounded strange to my own ears. I had not heard it since Josie's death.
"If you don't mind me saying, you seem to lack the subtlety of a brilliant assassin." For the second time she laughed in response.
"Now what type of brilliant assassin would I be if I was exactly what I look and sound like?" I didn't answer, so she did. "I'll tell you what type, a dead one." I saw that, like Josie, her smile was irremovable.
"We should go to the briefing room." Was my only reply.
"Yeah, might as well get this over and done with." She flicked a strand of hair behind her ear and changed directions slightly. We took the lift to the third floor before we were told to wait by a pair of SEEDs that didn't seem to be doing anything besides guarding a large doorway sealed by two wooden doors. We took seats as they were offered to us. Taen sighed and said in an undertone.
"They always make us wait, doesn't matter if you're early or late, they always make us wait." It was five minutes later before the two men opened the doors to us. Taen was on her feet a second later and marched into the room with me on her heels. The doors shut behind us. The room was almost completely empty save for a large wooden bench that all the council members sat behind. I did not fail to notice that all seven members were in attendance. Illion had said that there were usually only four at a briefing. Taen and I saluted in traditional SEED style and stood at attention before Illion talked to us.
"Welcome. Your mission will be to assassinate a political power in the Galbedian region." He handed Taen a few photos. "Our client for this mission wishes to remain anonymous. In two days from now a ball will be held at the Galbedia hotel. Your target will be in attendance. This is a mission of most importance and you must achieve success by any means necessary." He emphasized the last three words strongly. He looked at Taen. "You are squad commander and it will be your job to take down the target as covertly as possible. The quieter the better. You are strongly urged to make it look like an accident." He turned to me. "You are to support Taen in any way she sees fit. However if the covert attempt does not succeed it will be your job to assault the target head on. The target must be killed under all circumstances. Casualties must be kept to a minimum. You will be given your equipment and any extra information you require tonight, as you depart for Galbedia. You have heard the mission brief. Do you accept?" I had been told that this question was traditional only and a negative response would be ignored. Taen and I murmured our assent before we were dismissed.
"Sounds fun" Taen murmured sarcastically.
"It shouldn't be too difficult," I said back "this is my first mission after all."
"I thought you of all people would have picked up on the fine print. 'Casualties must be kept to a minimum' is code for 'if you need to attack him head on, your gunna have to kill more than him'." I didn't reply.
"You're no fun." She said after a time before running off. I shook my head and altered my course to the training room.
"Can I have your tickets please?" said the doorman monotonously. I handed over the tickets before escorting Taen into the hotel. The SEED had worked wonders on my appearance and I now appeared to be in my late teens, but still as ageless as Taen. We were both in formal dress but somehow the SEED had managed to hide my gunblade within my clothing. They hadn't needed to do the same for Taen's daggers. We entered the ballroom. I scanned it as unobtrusively as I could. Even if I didn't know what our target looked like, I could have figured it out in a second. He was the only one who was surrounded by bodyguards.
"OK, we're a young couple out to have fun. I know it might be hard for you, but smile and laugh a lot when we're talking." Taen whispered in my ear.
"I count sixteen potential threats." I said in what I hoped looked like, light-hearted banter. Taen laughed.
"I got fifteen. The two guys outside with rifles are hardy potential threats." Keeping my expression light I scanned the room again.
"I missed the sax player." I admitted with an attempted smile. Taen laughed again.
"Come on lets dance." She said loud enough for most to hear. I put up enough resistance to not seem out of place before I let her pull me out to the dance floor. As soon as we were close enough that no one else could hear we began our planning.
"How long to you think he will stay?" I asked, leaving a smile on my face.
"I don't know why he's here so it's hard to tell. But what I do know is that he will be awfully pissed off at being hounded by those dogs of his." She somehow managed to look embarrassed as she said this. She's good, I thought.
"Are those snipers outside his men or are they here to kill him too?" I said laughing. I glanced around quickly, making sure that no one was suspicious.
"I dunno. But I think that I might give them a chance to shoot if they're against him." she said with all the likeness of shyness. She pulled out a small vial. "This is for backup." I was suddenly aware that she had moved all of her daggers onto me.
"Your going unarmed." I said frowning.
"Frown again and I'll stick you with one of those daggers." She said cheekily. I could tell that she was completely serious though.
"OK so what's your plan." I replied, again laughing.
Ten minutes later we were ready. The politician was still in attendance and was indeed starting to become annoyed at his bodyguard's complete reluctance to let anyone talk to him. I mimed a quick statement to Taen before walking over to get myself a drink. I watched from the corner of my eye as Taen discreetly pour the vial of poison into her own drink. She slyly looked in my direction before walking off towards our target. I looked around the room. If anyone had noticed our conversation on the ballroom, they didn't show it. Taen smiled widely and I watched, as our target seemed to become enchanted with her. I smiled slightly. The bodyguards intercepted her and she used her magic on them too. It didn't work. They seemed insistent to make sure that she wasn't hiding any weapons. She indignantly disagreed and, true to her word, managed to draw the bodyguards far enough away to give the snipers outside a perfect shot. It didn't happen. I showed no reaction but I was slightly disappointed. After a short struggle the politician offered to do the search himself. Taen smiled knowingly before obligingly giving herself over. Five minutes later the search was over (the man seemed to check certain areas very carefully) and another struggle began. My heart sank as I saw the guards try to take Taen's poisoned drink away. I clutched the handle of my hidden weapon and started to walk towards them. I tipped a second vial into my own drink. Taen drank half of hers as proof that her drink was untainted. I knew the poison was now moving through her system so I sped up my walk. I drained half of my own glass. Taen sat down next to our target and offered him the drink. He nodded stupidly as he watched her drink the rest of her own drink before kissing him deeply. I knew she was passing the poison onto him. I reached them and shouted in outrage.
"How dare you!" I shouted at the politician. His bodyguards came to his immediate aid and pushed me back. I took another drink from my glass and yelled drunken curses at them. Taen pushed through the press of body's and quietly comforted me before kissing me. I passed the antidote that was contained in my own drink on to her. In drunken pride I grabbed her arm roughly before dragging her out of the hotel. We were out of the hotel about three seconds before Taen spat on the ground and wiped her mouth furiously.
"The things I'll do for money." She muttered. I couldn't help but laugh. We walked back to our dispatch vehicle. Ten minutes later we were alone and I began talking.
"Will the antidote work?" I asked Taen.
"If not then I'd be dead by now." She replied.
"Will the poison work?" I asked again.
"I gave him enough to kill him and all of his bodyguards." She said confidently. I breathed in relief.
"Well, wasn't that fun?" she asked me after a pause. I didn't reply.
We got back to Garden the next day and were immediately summoned to a debriefing.
"The mission was successful in all accounts. The target was neutralized without any suspicion falling on our part. It could be days before they figure out how he died. There were no other casualties." Taen droned to the council.
"Well done. Your pay will be sent to your accounts. We will notify you if there is anything more that will become of this. You are dismissed." Said Illion in his concise manner. Taen and I left together before going our separate ways. "It's been a pleasure working with you." I said politely.
"Back at ya, kid." She replied before walking off. I turned and immediately started walking to the training room. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't stop myself wishing that Josie had been with me on my first mission. I reached my destination only to find that Illion had somehow beaten me there.
"So how was your first mission?" he asked when he saw me.
"Successful on all accounts." I replied as I drew my gunblade.
"So I've heard." He murmured. He pulled out his staff. "You know the council is very impressed with your work."
"My work? I don't think so. Taen did most of it." I said before sending a fire spell at him. He brushed it away easily.
"Never-the-less, we would like you to do another mission soon. Do you think you are up to it?"
"Anytime." I sprung onto the attack. Illion fended me away before jumping back.
"How did you find working with Taen?" he asked. He fired a spell of his own at me. I leapt aside.
"She is very good at what she does." I attacked again this time without ceasing. I was becoming frustrated at being cross-examined. Hours later Illion announced that we were finished for the day and he left the room. Again alone, I continued to train, continuing towards my goal. Only minutes later I heard someone else enter. I turned to find Taen.
"Wow, your a mess." She said, as tactless as always.
"And you are here why?" I said, somewhat annoyed.
"Well if you are going to be mean I'll just leave," apparently this was not an option "I heard some news today that I thought might interest you. Leon has apparently been attacking some of the SEED dispatches. He usually attacks groups of five or so. There was only one survivor out of the lot, who only survived because he wanted her to. Someone has to carry the news of death and destruction."
"Is this news or gossip." I asked skeptically.
"News. Do you really think I would come here if it was only gossip?" she asked indignity.
"No. But why did you tell me?" I replied.
"Well I just figured that since you seemed to be good pals with one of the council, you might be able to get yourself into a dispatch of, let's say, five or so." She said winking. "But you didn't hear it from me 'kay? It's top secret and not to be spread around." With this she left. The logical part of my mind warred with the vengeful part as I considered whether or not I should go to see Illion now.
"I've waited for a year now. I can wait another day." I said out loud. With this I returned to my training.
A month later and I was thoroughly frustrated. I had been dropping subtle and even not so subtle hints that I wanted to be back out on dispatch and yet the council seemed determined to keep me at the garden. The worst part was that I knew exactly why, but I couldn't bring it up without betraying Taen. Training with Illion left me tense but I still progressed. I was now equal with him in fighting, but he still was a much more powerful mage than I was. Just when I thought I couldn't handle it anymore, I received my second mission. Illion handed me a folder and again told me to memorize it. I opened it and began to read. Immediately I became enraged.
"Alone!" I shouted. "You're sending me out alone!"
"It wasn't just my decision and if you read the whole thing you would find that it only really requires one person." He said coolly.
"But!" I started.
"But what?" his eyes narrowed. Again I was forced into silence. "You will have your briefing tomorrow morning." I raged inwardly as he left the room. I read the rest of the folder, which only infuriated me more. I would be working for another anonymous party and my goal was to get an adamantine dagger. It was located in a giant building and I had been given explicit instructions not to leave the designated area under any circumstances. It could not have been clearer what these circumstances might be. Furious that I had again been kept away from Leon I continued training alone.
The next morning found me in the briefing room after another long wait in the room before.
"This is a simple mission that should be achieved with relative ease. You simply have to get the dagger. We have been informed that getting to the dagger may prove troublesome but it will be nothing that a trainee couldn't handle." This struck me as odd but I remained quiet.
"You will not need any extra equipment and you will be transported the location tonight ready for a early start the next day. As is said in your brief, you must not leave or deviate from this task under any circumstances. You have heard the mission brief. Do you accept?" Illion asked. Before I answered I was dismissed. I went to the training room straight after. Illion was not here this time. He was not there when I left the room to get ready for my mission later that day either. Adding this to my stockpile of frustration I made my way to the parking lot for transportation.
The building was just like it was described. Big and old. It looked closer to a giant ruin instead of a building. The only thing noteworthy was two stained glass windows at the very top, which seemed to overlook the nearby lake. There, I figured, was the dagger. I pushed open the giant metal doors. They were old and rusty and I had to strain to open them. I made my way to the centre of the room as I entered. It was relatively small and had little more that a couple of ancient statues lining it before another metal door. I moved over and pushed it. It didn't budge. I moved back to the front door to get my transporter only to find that it wouldn't open either. My patience was just about at its limit. My eyes blazed as I turned my attention to the four statues. On this examination I found that one was a little different to the others. The giant hands of the giant man that it depicted had a finger out of place. I pushed the finger back and the door leading further into the building clicked open. Feeling distinctly like I was playing a poor video game I moved through the door. I felt it slam behind me. I pushed it but it again wouldn't move. The room I had entered was pitch black. I felt my way along the mossy wall trying to feel if anything was out of place. It wasn't long before the wall turned and I felt my way to a staircase. I moved upwards until the stair ended. From the moment I left the last stair the room brightened. I drew my gunblade in surprise. I looked back at the staircase and could see only darkness. I put one foot on the stairs and found that I again couldn't see. I stepped back off and light again entered the room. I suddenly realized that there were no sources of light. It was simply there. A month of frustration meant that I didn't really care as much as I usually would have and so as I moved on. I had entered a huge room that had a huge metal wall leading upwards to a doorway. The wall was covered in horizontal slits barely twenty centremetres in length. I moved and examined one of them. A blade was suddenly pushed through a slit to my left. It moved so fast that it seemed to appear out of thin air. I leapt backwards as blades began appearing all over the wall. I stopped and studied this for a while. The blades would come out at a different length each time and would go back in after a while only to come out again later. Suddenly I figured what it was that I needed to do.
"No way!" I shouted to thin air. "Trainee my ass!" Again I was hit with understanding. The person I was working for was a member of SEED or at least at garden. How else would they know what trainees were capable of? Again I found that I didn't really care. I muttered a few curses before drawing myself back to the task at hand. I watched the blades and tried to work out some sort of pattern. After half an hour of watching I was certain that there was none. What I did notice though was that a blade would not appear above, below or beside a blade that was already out. I also saw that the closer the blades came to the doorway at the top, the faster they withdrew. Shaking my head one last time, I cast a protect before running at the wall. I leapt onto the closest blade using it as a stepping stone to the next one. A blade suddenly appeared to my right and I leapt on it. Another blade appeared and I made my way higher still. Reflexes saved me countless times as I leapt from a withdrawing blade onto others that had only just appeared. I concentrated intensely on my next step. A few minutes later I saw with relief that I was only a few jumps to the top. Suddenly the blade I was standing on withdrew. My mind raced in the milisecond I had before I was falling. I float spell was on my lips before I realized that if I slowed my fall I would get skewered for sure. Instead I drew my blade. Timing was crucial. I thrusted at the wall putting my blade down one of the slits. I gasped in pain as I jerked to a stop. My shoulders were burning with pain but I knew I had to react before one of the blades I was in front of came out. A blade appeared to my left and I pulled myself onto it. Sheathing my blade, I once again began my slow progress to the top. Twenty minutes and three falls later I collapsed through the doorway. I was dripping with perspiration and my shoulders felt as though they had been ripped from their sockets. I was not in a good mood as I forced myself to sit up. I stayed long enough to regain my breath before I walked into a long corridor. I walked until I reached a flight of stairs leading to another corridor in the opposite direction. I groaned but began to walk again. This corridor lead to yet another staircase. Forcing my legs to move up the stairs, I entered a large room with a spiraling staircase in the centre. I looked up the spiral and couldn't see the top. Succumbing to exhaustion and frustration I sat back on the ground and muttered
"It has giant walls with blades but no fricken lifts." I rested for what could have been a couple of minutes or a couple of hours. Time seemed to lose meaning in this place. When I felt up to it I started to tackle the giant set of stairs. For the first time since I entered this place, I found something that actually looked worse than it was. I entered a shadowed room that was lit only by the light that shone through the huge stained glass window. On a table in the middle of the room was a black dagger suspended in the air by a green aura. With a smile I walked over to it.
"All this over a dagger" I murmured as I tried to grab the hilt. My hand passed straight through it.
Recognizing it immediately as a hologram I spun and drew my gunblade.
As I edged to the wall I shouted, "What's going on?" There was no answer. I put my back to the wall. "What's going on?" I repeated. Again no answer. I stayed completely still as I studied the room. I remained this way for several minutes.
"Why don't you check the dagger again?" Said a mocking voice. "You're pretty good you know. I was expecting to get a few failed attempts at the wall before someone got through."
"Failed attempts? A failed attempt means death you..." I stopped as comprehension hit me. "Leon!" I shouted.
"Damn. How did you know? Was it the trainee thing? I bet it was. Oh well I'd better give you what you came for." He drew his gunblade. It was glowing a slight green. He walked into the light he was dressed the same way as I had ever seen him. In fact the only difference in his appearance at all was the thin scar that ran across his face.
"I see you're admiring the mark that your little friend gave me. Still, I can't help but think that I got the better part of that deal." He laughed loudly and his mythril blade glowed brighter. He threw the black dagger on the floor. My hands were trembling with rage. The fatigue of the day was ignored as my lust for revenge took over my body. I pulled back my blade and leapt at him. He pulled back his own blade. We clashed with a loud ring. With amazing speed he disengaged and swung at my head. I ducked under the blow and thrusted at his mid-section. With a flick of the wrist he knocked my blade away. My rage took complete control as I slashed wildly at him. He parried each blow but was forced backwards. I took a step backwards and, with a cry of rage, put my weight behind a thrust at his throat. He ducked and spun away. With a hand outstretched he drew energy. I drew energy of my own into a shell then leapt at him.
"Fira!" Leon shouted as a wave of immense heat leapt towards me. I hit the flames head on and kept going. Leon dived away in alarm as my blade slashed over his head. As I took stance he regained his feet and brushed himself off.
"Not bad. You're much better than I was at your age. There was enough power in your shell to take my spell easily. I bet the council is very pleased with your progress." He said casually but his gunblade had lost its glow. I paid absolutely no attention at his words at all. I sent a quick thunder spell crackling towards him. It was easily nullified but I leapt in after it. Leon parried before launching his own attack. He sent a flurry of thrusts in my direction as I leapt aside. Again I attacked and again I was fended off. This time Leon struck first. He thrusted at my mid-section. I spun forward and swung my own blade at his head. Instinct saved him as he rolled away. Again he casually brushed himself off before taking his stance. Despite his cocky attitude I could see that he was sweating. With a cry, he attacked. He swung his blade low and hard. Knowing better than to try and parry, I leapt over it and landed a kick in his chest. Leon gasped in pain before renewing his attack. He assaulted me with a barrage of fira spells that I nimbly dodged. Again he attacked and we both joined the true fight. Our blades were blurs as we battled for an advantage over the other. Our blades clashed loud enough to make my ears ring but my rage carried me beyond the limit of my endurance. As I back-flipped under a slash at my head, we parted. The last of my anger ebbed away to be replaced by exhaustion. I quickly took stock. My legs seemed to be groaning in the outrage of standing and I could barely lift my blade. Although he still had his cocky swagger, a slight tremble of Leon's legs and a loosening of grip on the handle of his blade told me that he was exhausted too. We advanced on each other only stopping within striking range. In unison drew back our blades. With sudden ferocity that made my limbs scream in protest I spun and put the last of my strength into an upward slash at Leon's head. Leon had done much the same, only downward. Our blades clashed for a moment before I felt the resistance of Leon's green blade dissipate, and my blade continue upward. I let momentum carry me around and I collapsed to me knees. Relief flooded me as I felt sure that I had at last got my revenge. Finally Josie death had been avenged. I heard a blade fall to the ground. I felt hot tears roll down my face and I used a hand to wipe them away. I found it bloody. Confusion hit as I felt the pain of the cut on my face at last. I wheeled in confusion and found that Leon was still standing and grinning widely. His blade was illuminating the room in its sickly green light.
"Don't tell me you still use the gunblade that garden gives you?" I looked at the handle that I was gripping and saw the rest of my blade on the floor. Common sense prevailed as I realized that my own blade had done well to survive against mythril as long as it had. I stood up quickly and took my martial arts stance. Leon laughed evilly. His blade grew brighter and his fatigue seemed to disappear as he walked towards me. Knowing that I didn't stand a chance without a blade I edged towards the door only to find it locked.
"Oh come on. Use your brains. Even if you did get through that door you wouldn't have a chance at getting back down the wall." Leon taunted. A sudden calmness quenched my fears.
"I will not die today," I murmured to him. "I will not die unless you're lying in the grave next to me."
"I'm afraid I'm not giving you a choice." He said, smiling wider. I felt my fatigue give way to another feeling, a primitive determination to live. Leon continued to advance. With a cry of pure effort I emptied the energy from my untouched reserves and fashioned them into a spell.
"Firaga!" I shouted as a ball of flame erupted from my open palms. Leon's face lost its cruel grin and changed to one of uttermost concentration as he drew on his own reserves to create a shell. My spell hit him and for a few moments it battled with his barrier. Leon cried in outrage and exhaustion as he battled to create his shell faster than my spell destroyed it. This was all I needed. I forced my legs into a run as I moved past him. I slowed down only slightly to pick up the black dagger on the floor. I threw it at the giant stained glass window. It shattered moments before I dived through.
Fear gripped me as I saw how high I was. The lake seemed a long way down. The discipline I had been taught by Illion paid off as I resisted the urge drift into unconsciousness. I focused my mind and drew energy before casting a float spell. I felt myself slow down.
"Not enough!" I shouted. I saw the dagger was next to me and snatched it. At least they can't complain that I didn't stick to my mission, I thought wildly. I stuck my hands and legs out as wide as I could and forced myself into a spin. Again I slowed down slightly. Faster and faster I spun until the effort made me cry out in pain. I felt the air rip at my limbs for what seemed like hours. Suddenly I hit the water. The impact forced the air from my lungs and almost made me lose consciousness. I opened my eyes and wheeled in panic. Exhaustion and lack of air had left me disorientated. Again discipline paid off as I dropped the dagger that I held. I watched the direction it fell and suddenly the world spun into perspective. I grabbed the dagger again and swam towards the surface. My lungs were screaming with pain and my arms and legs begged for a break but still I swam. As suddenly as I had entered it, my head broke the surface. I took in the first few painful breaths before I again began to swim, this time towards the shore. A few minutes later I crawled up the bank. The next hour become a haze of pain as I walked, crawled then dragged myself to my mission dispatch. I saw my transporter say something before running towards me. I fell into darkness. My last feeling was one of shame. I had just gotten my chance, and I had failed.