DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the movies, I'm not gonna list them all again, wish so much that I owned some of the characters hee hee hee! Oh yeah, any speech [written like this] is a character's thoughts, savvy?
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Chapter 2: Secret Caribbean
Mort reappeared to find himself standing on a small ship.
"Where the hell am I?" he asked. He looked out to see what was out there and all he saw was water, cool, light blue, water all around him.
"You're in the Caribbean mate!" he turned around to find Esmeralda standing there. But instead of the jeans and a T-shirt outfit she was wearing, she was wearing a very....small pirate girl costume and standing right behind him with a satisfied smile on her face. Mort couldn't help staring at her. "And like we said, you are now a pirate." She held up a mirror to his face so he could see what he looked like.
"Holy shit!" He screamed. He did not look anything like his old self. His neat blondish-brownish hair was replaced with long brownish-blackish hair, some of it was in dreadlocks, and some of it was beaded, he had a red bandanna covering some of it. And instead of wearing his bathrobe and shabby clothes, he was wearing, well he was wearing, oh; it's the Jack Sparrow outfit that makes him look oh-so-gorgeous in it! ahem... anyhoo, he was very shocked, not to mention that some of his beads were falling out of his hair.
"Some of my beads are falling out." Mort said, "Can you fix it?"
"No."
"Please?" and he looked at her with those gorgeous eyes pleading using them as his own personal weapon.
"Oh, okay." she relented. She walked over to him and started adjusting his hair. As she was doing so, she slightly noticed that his eyes were focused on, well, let's just say he wasn't staring at her face if you get my drift.
[what is it with guys staring at girl's chests?] she thought.
"Excuse me, but my eyes are up here." she said. Mort looked up at Esmeralda and he started to turn red. "Well, you are acting a lot like the pirate you have turned into."
"And how would you know?"
"Heh, long story. Anyhoo, you are now known to the world as Jack Sparrow." she continued and a voice could be heard screaming
"Captain! Captain Jack Sparrow! Get it right dammit!" (3 guesses as to who it was)
"So can I call you Esmeralda, or Allana?" Mort asked.
"Whichever, I personally don't give a crap."
"Okay, so now that I'm a pirate, what am I supposed to do?" he asked in a panicky way.
"Just trust your instincts. And if you need me, just press the blue button on that watch of yours. Not the red one, the blue one, got it?"
"Yeah."
"Bye!" and she disappeared, leaving Mort to deal with a leaky boat.
20 minutes later
Mort was finally pulling into the docks at Port Royal after attempting to dump the water out of his leaky boat and failing. So, his boat continued to sink so much that by the time he actually pulled up at the dock, he had to stand on the very top of the crows nest to stay above water. He got off at the dock, and started walking to the center of the town when he heard someone talking, to him.
"Hold up there!" and Mort turned around with one of those deer-in-the-headlights looks. "It's a shilling to tie your boat up at the dock, and I need to know your name."
"Well," Mort sighed as he looked over at what part of his boat hadn't sunk, "Seeing as how my boat is almost completely underwater, it seems pointless to tie it up, so what do you say to three shillings, and we forget the name."
"Welcome to Port Royal Mr. Smith."
"Thank you Mr. Anderson, I mean sir." And he continued walking down the dock, subtly picking up a whole bag of shillings.
As he continued to walk randomly around the town, he noticed that everything looked weird, and old-fashioned-ish. "Oh, my God!" he said ditzly, "I'm in old times! Go me!"
10 seconds later
"Okay, I'm bored. What do I do now?" he said as he pushed the blue button on his watch.
"Go to the docks near the ship that has Interceptor written on it." Esmeralda said from right behind him.
"Dammit! You scared the crap out of me! Don't do that again!" he screeched.
"You scare too easy." she said as she wiped some dirt off her hands with a handkerchief. "Just go down to the Interceptor. Bye!" and she disappeared. So her sauntered on down, and as he was about to go onto the gangplank, two soldiers, one fat and one skinny, came up and blocked his way."
"This dock is off-limits to civilians." the first one said.
"So, sorry, had no idea. If I see one, I'll tell ya, ok?" Mort tried to get by them, and failed 'cause they re-blocked his way.
"Apparently there's some high-toned and fancy to-do up at the um.......fort. How could it be that two upstanding gentlemen such as yourselves," he started as he gestured to the two soldiers, "did not merit an invitation?"
"Someone has to keep civilians away from the Interceptor, the fastest ship in the entire Caribbean." the second one said.
"That's a good goal to be sure." he said [say that the Black Pearl is faster] he heard Esmeralda's voice inside his head.
[okay, I'm not asking how your thoughts got into my head, but I'm gonna go along with it.] he thought. "But I've heard of a faster ship." He continued. "The Black Pearl."
"That's not a real ship." the first solider said.
"Yes it is," the second one argued, "I've seen it."
"You haven't seen it."
"Yes I have."
"No."
"Yes"
"No."
"Yes"
"No."
"Yes"
"No."
"Yes"
"No."
"Yes"
"Nu-uh"
"Yuh-huh"
"Nu-uh"
"Yuh-huh"
"Nu-uh"
"Yuh-huh"
"Nu-uh"
"Yuh-huh"
"Nu-uh"
"Yuh-huh"
"Are you trying to say that you've seen a ship with black sails, that's crewed by the damned and captained by a man so evil that hell itself spat him back out?" the first solider said.
"No, but I have seen one with black sails." and as the soldiers continued to argue, Mort quietly slipped onto the Interceptor.
2 minutes 30 seconds later…
"Hey!" the first solider shouted. The two had finally noticed that Mort had snuck upon the boat. "You don't have permission to be aboard there!" they both ran onto the ship and pointed their guns on him.
"Aww, but it's such a pretty boat. I mean ship! Such a pretty ship."
"Who are you?" the second solider asked.
"Smith, or Smithy if ya like."
"What's your purpose in Port Royal, Mr. Smith." the first one asked.
"and no lies!" the second one inserted.
"Well then, I confess. It is my intention to commandeer one of these ships, pick up a crew in Tortuga, raid, pillage, plunder and otherwise pilfer my weasly black guts out, savvy?" [whoa! where in bloody hell did that come from?] he thought.
"I said no lies!" the second one exclaimed.
"I think he was telling the truth."
"If he were telling the truth, he wouldn't have told us nitwit!"
"Unless he knew you wouldn't believe the truth even if he told it to you." Mort replied with a smirk on his face (A/N: falls on floor swooning!) "Got any rum?" he asked.
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The journey continues
A/N: Sorry that chapter was short, they will get longer. Since someone asked why I did not use Don Juan de Marco, well, I didn't know enough about the movie, so what I will do is later on, I will make a chapter for Don Juan all himself, that will be different than the rest savvy?