Author: Sasha
Rating: PG13
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, but I guess I own the plot. Don't sue.
Warning(s): nah
Spoiler(s): yes. This is a semi-future fic so probably about two or three years after the canon universe. I made up some endings and I'll tie those loose ends with side stories (seems like sidestories are my kind of thing right now…). So, excuse my pillaging of the canon 'verse and just go with the flow. I've received some really nice reviews, so thank you to all who stopped to type out a little something to me. Do it again!
Extra side note: Jiraiya's loved Tsunade for a really long time. I'm guessing them to be around 55-ish for this timeline, so eventually when he says that he's loved her for more than half his life, it WILL make sense. My Jiraiya falls in love with Tsunade before he's even 20 years old.
This was the second lunar festival she was missing. Tsunade was surrounded by stacks of papers and folders. Had she not been so vain, she would have ripped her hair out in sheer frustration of the situation.
She looked out of her window. She had already been up for… thirty-one and a half hours, she surmised, looking at the clock on her wall. A long groan followed.
"I must be the slowest working of all the Hokages. Either that, or they all really hated to party with the townspeople," she muttered, frowning as she added her signature to the last sheet of paper of a huge stapled packet and flung it to the left. She was tired of all this paperwork.
A soft clearing of the throat sounded from her doorway. Who on earth was stupid enough to come in, now, when she was frustrated and busy?
"Maybe they did hate partying, but I don't think they willingly stayed indoors to work," Jiraiya said.
Of course, the only person she should have thought of: Jiraiya.
"What are you doing here?" Tsunade asked, flipping open a folder and examining the report contained within the off-white card.
He took a seat, pushing aside a treacherously wavering stack of papers, earning himself a narrow-eyed glare from Tsunade. He laughed nervously, steadying the stack and resettling himself in the chair.
"All the beautiful people are missing from the festival. I can't, well, I shouldn't, hit on those young teen cuties. So I came to see the only beautiful person I could think of," he said smoothly.
Tsunade silently thanked whatever higher power caused their first meeting to occur so early in their childhood. If she hadn't known him for so long, she would have been unable to hide a blush that she was sure would have flared all across her cheeks. So instead of blushing, she frowned a little and went back to speed-reading through the report.
"That was a compliment, you know?" Jiraiya asked. All he received as a soft "hmm," so he sagged back in the chair a little.
Tsunade looked up from her work to see Jiraiya lying back in the chair, his head tipped up and his eyes fixated on the ceiling. She'd bet good money that he was trying to count the holes in the ceiling tiles.
"Why are you still here? There's nothing exciting for you to do," she said, then smacked her head when she realized the latter part of her complaint. If she knew Jiraiya (of course she did), he'd take anything anybody said and tried to make it perverted.
Sure enough, he lowered his chin to meet her gaze.
"Well there's nothing exciting for me to anywhere. At least I can spend the festival with an old friend," he simply said.
Tsunade's jaw dropped a little. Where was the "sure there is, I'd do you"??? Where was the slap that followed?
"You don't seem quite like yourself," she commented, signing a sheet from the report and closing the folder, tossing it somewhere to her left.
"I feel old," he said softly. She chuckled.
"You are old. So am I," she said, stretching and popping sounds from her spine followed.
He stared at her, taking in the dark smudges under her eyes, the flat colour of her hair, and the wrinkling in her clothes.
"When was the last time you slept?" he asked.
"Is it that obvious?" she asked, rubbing at her eyes. Jiraiya stood.
"Of course. Though, I'd have to be blind to not notice. You'll work yourself into sickness," he said softly, coming to her side. She just scoffed at him.
"I'm the medic-nin here. I wouldn't jeopardize my health with that much work," she countered.
"But you are," he pointed out, fingering her dull hair and using the softest stroke of his thumb to trace the shadows under her eyes. Tsunade's breath hitched in her throat. He was too close to her, far too near for her comfort, so she shrugged, trying to feign indifference.
"It doesn't really matter. If I don't do this, nobody will," she tried to argue logically.
Jiraiya shook his head in disagreement.
"While that may be true, nobody's expecting you to work this hard. First of all, this work shouldn't have been piled up so high. Maybe you were neglecting all of this before," he said.
He was right. She had slacked off a few weeks back, taking a week to leave for trip to the hot springs of Konoha, high up in the mountains. Tsunade groaned, her head falling into open hands placed palm up on her desk.
"Okay, so maybe it's my fault, but I still have to finish all this work. Let me work," she softly pleaded.
"Alright. But as soon as you're done, I'm sending you straight to bed. I can take over your duties if you'd like," he offered.
Tsunade thought about it for five seconds, and then the image of a half-naked Jiraiya entertaining girls in her office popped up. She laughed. That would be the worst case scenario. Time and distance changed him. He wasn't so bad anymore.
"What's so funny?" he asked, stroking her hair.
"Nothing," she said, sitting up and grabbing another folder. "I'll have to ask you to leave if I'm going to finish all this work," she said.
He nodded, smiling softly.
"Have fun," he called, shutting the door behind him.
Tsunade exhaled loudly. Nobody could have fun reading countless reports and signing all of them.
It was bright outside, the birds were chirping and everyone in Konoha was getting ready for the Lunar festival.
Yamanaka Ino was having too much fun. Decked out in a pretty magenta kimono and flowers in her hair, she thought she could die today and be completely happy.
Shikamaru grumbled a little, fidgeting in his outfit. Ino had seduced him and forced him into a traditional men's kimono; navy blue in color with some black stripes at the hem and sleeves. Sometimes he hated how much control she had over him.
"You look so handsome," Ino cooed, sidling up to Shikamaru. He couldn't help but smile at how cutely she looked at him. Maybe she didn't have that much sway over him, maybe he did this to make her happy.
No. He was completely, utterly, whipped and wriggled around uncomfortably in his clothes.
Sakura arrived, towing Sasuke and Naruto with both hands. It seems as though she had the same type of control over her men as well. Although, Naruto seemed to enjoy his outfit very much.
"Well, look at you!" Sakura exclaimed, eyes focused on Shikamaru. He grumbled something that sounded like "she tricked me," but Ino gently elbowed him in the ribs.
"Looks like we have our men wrapped around our pinky fingers," Ino said, pulling Sakura towards her in a hug. Sakura laughed.
"Of course! I don't think we would have it any other way," the pink-haired kunoichi replied, smiling sweetly at her men.
Naruto grinned.
"She didn't have to force me into this," he said, pointing to the charcoal gray outfit he had apparently put on without fuss. Everyone laughed and Sakura smiled.
"He's telling the truth. I mentioned 'Lunar festival' and he ran out of the house and into the town to buy it," she admitted, pressing a kiss to his cheek.
"I had trouble with him," Sakura said, pointing to a slightly pouting Sasuke.
"Yeah, but I still wore it, didn't I?" Sasuke asked, fingering the sleeves of his dark red and black kimono.
Tsunade pressed a button on her office phone for Shizune.
"Can you bring me another cup of coffee, please?" she asked. Seconds later, Shizune rushed in with a huge mug of coffee and helped clear a small area on the desk to set the beverage down.
"Tsunade-sama, you look exhausted. Please rest. You'll wear yourself thin," the assistant advised. She went to Tsunade's left and started reorganizing all the signed reports and stacked them in a neat pile on the floor.
"Thank you, but I'm afraid I'm already past that stage. I'll be alright. I think I'll be able to finish in a few hours," the blonde said, taking another report off the stack to her right.
"Jiraiya-sama asked me to call him when you were done. Is that alright with you, or would you like me to decline on your behalf?" Shizune asked.
Tsunade couldn't help the small smile that tugged at the corners of her lips.
"No, it's alright. Thank you," the hokage said, dismissing her assistant and groaning as she eyed the pile of reports she had yet to go through. She forced herself to relax. There were only thirty odd folders she had to finish reading and signing. Only thirty or so…
Gulping down hot, black coffee, she pulled a folder from the top of the stack and began reading.
Hours passed, her eyelids drooped and she found herself nodding off more times than she could count on her fingers.
"I'm done," she said, astonished to see her desk clear, save for the coffee mug and her own papers.
"I'm done," she repeated, loving the sound of it. She pressed the button of her phone to contact Shizune.
"I'm done, Shizune. Finished!" she exclaimed, being exceptionally careful to stay away from the completed pile of reports. She rejoiced. She would never, ever take an unnecessary vacation if it meant forgoing sleep for a day and a half to read and sign her name at the end of report after report. A soft rap sounded on her door.
"So I was in the neighbourhood and heard you were done with that," he said, pointing to the stack of folders on the floor. Tsunade shivered, never wanting to do that much work ever again.
"Yes, thank the stars. What did you want to see me for?" she asked.
He laughed.
"Why would I not want to see you? I figured you deserve a nice treat after this ordeal. I'm taking you to the festival. We've still got an hour or so before everyone packs up for the night. The kids want to see you as well," he added, hoping to sway her even the slightest.
"I'm really tired," she said, sipping the last of her coffee and trying so hard not to split in half from the massive yawn that she knew was coming.
Jiraiya nodded slowly, but perked up and flashed her a bright smile.
"I'll walk you home, how about that?" he asked. She nodded, smiling.
"I think that would be fine," she said, getting up from her chair and stretching. Jiraiya found himself staring at her, obviously her chest, but he really couldn't help it. Nothinghe'd ever seen was that perky, especially at her age.
'Jutsus, it's all in the jutsus,' he reminded himself, and turning away.
"Okay, we can go," Tsunade said, stiffly walking to her door and opening it. The hallway was dark and Shizune had already left.
'Poor thing. She stayed up with me,' the hokage thought, making a mental note to give her thanks in the form of a big bonus for the end of the year.
They walked down the dimly lit hallway, the thick walls of the complex unable to keep the sounds of the villagers enjoying the festival. Tsunade smiled to herself when she heard Naruto and Sasuke arguing about something completely pointless and Sakura trying to break up the silly fight.
"It's kind of hard to believe that they're this big, don't you think?" Jiraiya asked.
"Puberty was the worst with them. They're fine, young adults now. We had a hand in that," Tsunade said, recalling the Konoha teens at fifteen and sixteen. The girls were well into puberty, but the boys were either just starting, or getting accustomed to having hair…everywhere.
Jiraiya smiled a little wistfully, remembering how frantic and confused Naruto had become once his voice started to deepen and his cravings for miso and pork ramen quadrupled (if that were anymore possible than how much he used to eat at twelve years old).
"They're good kids," he said, scratching at his head, "I kind of wish I had some of my own," he added, much softer. Tsunade's eyes dropped to the floor.
"Well, it doesn't really matter anymore. I don't think it would be fair to have kids I'd hardly ever see, what with all those missions and other things," he said quickly, trying to cover up his little sentimental slip.
"It's normal to feel that way, to want what other people have," Tsunade said, assuring him that what he wanted wasn't selfish or out of the ordinary for their kind of work. "After all, it is universally known that the grass is greener on every side but your own," she added, chuckling.
He nodded.
"Did you ever feel that? The need to be parent, to want to have something to call your very own?" he asked.
She looked at him with large eyes.
"At one time I did. But I had to force myself to realize that being a kunoichi, meant no room for children in my life. I would never jeopardize something living inside or even outside of me. If I were to be a mother, it would mean putting my entire being into it," she confessed, much to Jiraiya's surprise.
"I always thought you were the type to never want children, to never settle down," he said, looking sadly at her. He knew what she meant by 'at one time,' and he knew that past she referred to, didn't include him as anything more than just a friend and coworker.
Tsunade laughed a little bitterly.
"Yeah, well I had to get a new perspective eventually. Things just don't work out. People change, they leave, they grow apart. Something always gets in the way of something else," she said, pushing the glass doors of the exit open and stepping out into the cool night.
From far, they could hear music and laughter, some things that just seemed to fit away from them. Streetlights lit up the dark lanes and Tsunade found herself shivering from the gentle night breeze.
"I guess so," Jiraiya said, following her.
He was amazed. This was the first real conversation they'd had in a long time. She was never really this open with him, always guarding herself to seem as though she had everything under control. But he knew better. She may appear strong, but in truth, she had to be the most fragile person he'd ever known.
"You know, I never really found happiness. I mean, you had… Dan," he hesitated to say, for fear of reminding her of her dead lover, "but I never had someone of my own. At least you could dream of some kind of stable future. I never even had that," he said softly, adjusting the bag on his back.
Decades had changed her. Hearing Dan's name after so long stopped sending a piercing pain through her heart. She didn't even hurt anymore. She was just lonely.
Tsunade wrapped her arms around herself and tried her best to shield her skin from the sudden cold.
"Maybe. But you never had happiness ripped away from you. I think you're luckier than I am," she replied, equally as soft.
"It's been a long time," Jiraiya said, "I thought you would have been over him by now."
Tsunade whirled around and faced him, anger narrowing her eyes as she blinked quickly to keep the tears from coming.
"And I thought you would have been over me by now," she retorted.
"What can I say? I'm loyal that way," he said, his brow furrowing. He really had no clue what brought this hostility on.
"You can't honestly expect me to believe that you still love me. How could you possibly love someone like me?" she asked.
Jiraiya took a risk and stepped forward.
"How could I not? I've loved you for more than half my life. I've told you the reasons why, surely you don't need to hear them right now," he said.
"I don't understand," she said, tears starting to fall.
"There's nothing to understand. I love you and I'll probably always love you, even if you can't love me back. I've tried so hard to be everything that you've ever wanted, but you've cemented yourself in the past. You've never fully healed because you just can't seem to let go of something that happened thirty years ago. I've never known a more stubborn person than you," Jiraiya said.
Tsunade closed the distance between them with a resounding slap to his cheek.
"How dare you presume to know me. I have moved on. I told you why I can't love you back. It's not because I don't want to, it's because I can't lose you. If you go, then I really will die. You know that," she said, sobbing.
He pulled her to his chest, soothing a hand over her back.
"And I remember telling you that it was a risk that I was, and still am willing to take. Nobody has ever come close to measuring up to you. The girls in the past, they were easy and accessible, but they could never fill a Tsunade-shaped void in my heart. I've loved you for so long, why can't you just take that chance?" he asked, smiling sadly against her ear.
She laughed despite the sob that was caught in her throat and the thick droplets of tears coursing down her cheeks.
The last step for her to take was to accept him and he was telling her that it was now or never. Suddenly, Tsunade couldn't imagine being alone for a second longer.
"I'm tired," she whispered.
"I know," he said, closing his eyes and placing his cheek next to hers. Her skin didn't feel the same. His eyes opened and a different person looked back at him, only slightly different, but with the same captivating eyes he'd known all his life. Tsunade had let go of the jutsu that kept her looking youthful.
"Could you be with someone like this?" she asked, self-consciously wrapping her arms around her chest.
Jiraiya tried not to stare, but he did look carefully at the woman standing before him.
"This is even better than before," he said softly, smiling. "You've always been beautiful to me. This just shows me that age agrees with you. I'm glad," he said.
Usually, Tsunade could easily fend of his advances and compliments, but she could see how sincere his words were, and could not help but blush. She had been so afraid to let anyone see what she really looked like. The thought of allowing Jiraiya to see her as she really was, didn't seem so scary.
"I told you we're old," she said, laughing and using a hand to wipe away the last of her tears.
"Maybe, but we're still good looking," he said, allowing one hand to gently cup her cheek. "Now is the part where I ask you if I can kiss you," he said huskily.
Not trusting herself with words, she nodded.
Jiraiya grinned and leaned in to press a soft kiss to her lips, lingering for only a few moments before pulling away.
"Now let's get you home. I'm sure you're about ready to collapse from staying up for so long," he said, taking her hand in his.
She nodded. Her lips tingled very nicely and for the first time in a very long time, she remembered what it felt like to be so cherished, so loved. Before she could even think of what to say to him, he had swept an arm under her knees and brought her up in his arms.
"You're not thinking of carrying me home, are you?" she asked.
All she got back was a grin and a wink.
A.N. Tsunade dropping her youthful jutsu for Jiraiya is MIIINE!!! Yes… I'm just as surprised as you that this story happened to be a two-parter. I really love the Jiraiya/Tsunade pairing! Granted, I'll never write a lemon about them (thank heaven for my inability to write porn), but I think this is as far as I'm willing to go and I think this chapter was pretty successful. You got some humour, some angst and a smidgen of romance. The world is good. Review. And for those wondering why Tsunade and Jiraiya could hear Naruto and Sasuke fighting, is because where they were in the Hokage building, it was closer to town. I envisioned the complex to be HUGE, so by the time Tsunade and Jiraiya reached the front doors, they're far from town. And… yeah, I found out Tsunade's dead lover's name. REVIEW.