We did not know he was following us but still we just could not get the guy at BJ's off our minds. Bianca walked by us stopping to talk to us briefly, about how they were enjoying the party. Both of us were enjoying our selves much more than we usually did but, that had more to do with the tequila sunrises and the martinis they were secretly mixing in Erica's apartment and drinking of course both of them knew that if our grandmother every found out we were drinking at all she would have a fit since Jackie did have a drinking problem from the time she was just thirteen years old. I on the other hand never made a moment of trouble and mom really did not mind me drinking once and a while as long as I had supervision and did not over do it. A couple of drinks and that was about it. It was all too different for Jackie. The whole family quietly watched out for Jackie to make sure she did not drink or if she did have the occasional drink to make sure, she did not over does it. Which is why I was with Jackie drinking with her in the first place. I had always thought there was more to why Jackie had been drinking so much the night she nearly killed herself alcohol poisoning. I knew more than she was saying and knew the reason was because she was catching hell because of who her parents were but, she would never told anybody because she knew that would hurt everybody involved. I also knew that Monday night AA was now a regular occurrence for Erica and her granddaughter sometimes. I myself would go just to support her grandmother and her best friend. I also knew that Jackie drank like a sailor on shore leave only when she was afraid of something or had something on her mind and by the time she had slammed her third shot of tequila in about as many minutes I knew there was something wrong but what was it. Erica walked through the door and saw them both . We both knew that we were in deep shit but, to both of our surprise Erica never did breathe a word of this to Bianca. Jackie was crying about all this and Erica who had some idea as to what was going on. She realized what the day was and looking into Jackie and my eyes she told them that they all fall down sometimes and she looked at Jackie as Jackie told us both "today's was the day I was conceived" I know what I am and today makes' me think about it . I am the result of rape. Damn it, how am I suppose to feel I am the result of a man forcing himself on my mother fifteen years ago today. I know she was not a virgin but still she had never been with a man. He took it something that was not his damn the son of a bitch. I hope he is burning in hell ." she said as she slammed yet another double shot of tequila stopping her rant for all of a minute. " I don't even know how she can look at me much less love me . First of all I am the child of a rapist, then I fuck up everything I go at, and then I become an drunk by the time I'm a teenager." She was in a complete rant and by now quiet drunk . She was in complete tears as Erica sent her oldest grand daughter who was in tears herself back to the party and to get Kendall, who was the only one who could calm Jackie down when she got like this. Erica also knew what neither of the girls did and that was that Maggie had taken Bianca home an hour ago after she had gotten very drunk and weepy.