Title: A Fair Exchange.
Author: Charlie
Timeline: Post BtVS S7 & AtS S5. Sequel to "Best Laid Plans."
Summary: What does being human mean?
Feedback is always appreciated.
Author Notes: Round and round, the ship goes. Where it lands, the
Author doesn't know. Will it be (A)my, (B)uffy, (C)ordelia, (D)awn, (F)aith, (F)red, (H)armony, (K)ennedy or (W)illow that wins the Xandman? Vote now.
Hank Summers looked down at the girl standing in front of him. She had long dirty blonde hair that curved at the end with blue green eyes that peeked out at the world. Her left arm and shoulder were wrapped carefully in a sling that seemed grossly out of place compared to the rest of her clothing. No matter how old she got she was still his little girl, Buffy.
"Hello Buffy."
She didn't answer right away. Her eyes took in the sight of him. He looked older then he ever had to her, with brown hair fading into gray. His tired voice echoed the lack of emotion in his eyes.
"Why are you here?"
Hank Summers paused as he considered her question; "Your friend Alexander called me. He said we needed to talk".
Xander. Damn. "Well he was wrong, we don't need to talk because I have nothing to say to you."
"Buffy, please. I know I haven't done a lot of good where you and Dawn are concerned. But please let me try."
She looked him over warily before acquiescing, "Fine, follow me." And with that, the daughter led her father up into her apartment. When they were seated, she turned her attention completely to him, "Okay we're here, so talk."
Hank shifted uncomfortably under her gaze. "I'm not going to pretend that I can possibly make up for all the mistakes I made Buffy. I'm just trying to."
"Trying to what? Get back into my life?" She accused him.
"You left me, mom and Dawn all alone so you could be with your secretary off in Spain. You weren't there when we needed you. When Mom was sick, when Dawn was struggling and depressed and when I-." She halted momentarily, "When I needed you, you weren't there."
"No, I wasn't. I screwed up. I thought my work and what I wanted were more important then my family. And I was wrong."
"Oh, and just like that I'm supposed to forgive you? For what you did? For leaving?"
"Buffy please."
"Please what? You left Mom and us high and dry."
"Buffy, I loved your mother-"
"You sure as hell had a funny way of showing it."
He took a deep breath, "Buffy I loved your mother. When we got married it was one of the happiest days of my life. When you and Dawn came along, I was just as happy. But, people change over time. I changed, your mother changed. Our relationship changed, we just grew apart."
"We grew apart? That's your excuse?"
"It's not an excuse Buffy, it's the truth. Your mother and I just ended up going in different directions. I know the divorce was hard on you and Dawn. I'm sorry you were caught in the middle like that. I tried to help when I could. I sent alimony and child support for you and Dawn. I sent her enough money so that you could go to college."
A twitch of emotion ran through her as that bit of information came to light.
"I didn't learn that Joyce had passed away until almost afterwards. And I just lost it. I almost lost my job; I ended the relationship I was in. I started drinking heavily, I was in a very dark and rough place."
Buffy found herself nodding slightly. Her father continued, a distant look coming over his face, "Luckily I had friends, some old friends of your mother and I from college days. They found me and helped me. They listened to me when I needed someone to talk to. When I needed someone, they were there for me." He swallowed forcing some unpleasant memories back.
She sat quietly as images from her past flashed through her mind, memories of things she had done and the people she had known.
"Buffy? Is there something bothering you?"
She didn't answer him, "Buffy I know about some of the things you did. I know about Spike, Angel and Riley. I know you're not like other girls." His daughter looked up as surprise and fear spread across her face. "Dad, I-."
"You don't have to say anything. I know you have a special duty. And I can't think of a better person to handle it."
"I'm not the only one."
"No but you are the best one. You won when others failed."
"Some winner, Sunnydale is just a hole in the ground."
"But, you're here. Dawn's here. Your friends are here."
"Not all of them. Mom's buried in there too."
"Buffy your mother isn't in Sunnydale."
"Huh?"
"She's in you and Dawn. In your face, in your voice, in everything you do, that's where Joyce is. Not in some hole in the ground."
Buffy shuddered, "She's not in everything I did. She wouldn't do some of the things, I've done. Or be with the people I'm with."
Hank looked at his daughter as she seemed to shrink before his eyes, "Buffy, you can't keep doing that."
"Doing what?"
"Blaming yourself for everything. It's not all your fault, you're still a young woman, you're still growing up."
A few minutes of uncomfortable silence passed before she spoke again, "Dad, about Angel and Spike-."
He raised his hands up as he interrupted her, "You don't have to explain anything to me, Buffy. I know they were older then you and that maybe that's what you needed."
Buffy blinked thinking 'he doesn't know' as Hank continued, "And I know that sometimes, girls without a father, try to find him again in their lives somehow."
Buffy's stomach was in knots, as she listened, "I don't want you trying to justify to me what happened or why you did those things. All I want is for you and Dawn to be happy. So are you?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because I don't know what to do."
"What do about what?"
"Xander, Alexander, he hates me. He thinks I abandoned him. And now he's here trying to-"
"Buffy, stop. Xander, he was the one that called me?" She nodded. "Your mother mentioned some of your friends last time we talked, she said there was a boy that was always around you and always trying to help. That was Xander wasn't it?"
Buffy nodded, "He helped me out on the first day of school. He even saved my life once."
"And why does he think you abandoned him?"
"I didn't choose him." The words slip out before she can help herself.
Hank sighed, "Why not?"
"He wasn't. He wasn't what I wanted."
"And is what you have now, what you wanted?"
"It's better what I've had."
"That isn't what I asked."
Her silence spoke for itself.
"Buffy, you can't go through your life afraid."
"I'm not afraid of anything."
"Then why are you here instead of trying to fix things with your friend?"
"Because I don't know what to do."
"I think you do Buffy. I just think you're afraid to do it. You're afraid of your friend and I don't know why. That's something only you know."
Hank stood up slowly wincing as he did so; "I'm going to go see Dawn before I leave."
"Leave?"
He looked down at her; "I have a flight to catch tonight Buffy. I can't stay, I wish I could but I can't."
Hesitantly, Buffy stood up and faced him. Father and daughter stared at each other uncomfortably before she moved to the door and opened it. Hank followed and went out into the hall. "She's usually in the library right now. If not her room is one floor up, second door down." He nodded and prepared to leave.
"Dad?"
Hank turned around to see her come to up him slowly. She bit her lip and embraced him awkwardly. He brought his arms around her and spoke gently into her hair, "I love you." "I missed you."
They stood like that for a while. Afraid to let go, afraid to say goodbye one more time.
Author: Charlie
Timeline: Post BtVS S7 & AtS S5. Sequel to "Best Laid Plans."
Summary: What does being human mean?
Feedback is always appreciated.
Author Notes: Round and round, the ship goes. Where it lands, the
Author doesn't know. Will it be (A)my, (B)uffy, (C)ordelia, (D)awn, (F)aith, (F)red, (H)armony, (K)ennedy or (W)illow that wins the Xandman? Vote now.
Hank Summers looked down at the girl standing in front of him. She had long dirty blonde hair that curved at the end with blue green eyes that peeked out at the world. Her left arm and shoulder were wrapped carefully in a sling that seemed grossly out of place compared to the rest of her clothing. No matter how old she got she was still his little girl, Buffy.
"Hello Buffy."
She didn't answer right away. Her eyes took in the sight of him. He looked older then he ever had to her, with brown hair fading into gray. His tired voice echoed the lack of emotion in his eyes.
"Why are you here?"
Hank Summers paused as he considered her question; "Your friend Alexander called me. He said we needed to talk".
Xander. Damn. "Well he was wrong, we don't need to talk because I have nothing to say to you."
"Buffy, please. I know I haven't done a lot of good where you and Dawn are concerned. But please let me try."
She looked him over warily before acquiescing, "Fine, follow me." And with that, the daughter led her father up into her apartment. When they were seated, she turned her attention completely to him, "Okay we're here, so talk."
Hank shifted uncomfortably under her gaze. "I'm not going to pretend that I can possibly make up for all the mistakes I made Buffy. I'm just trying to."
"Trying to what? Get back into my life?" She accused him.
"You left me, mom and Dawn all alone so you could be with your secretary off in Spain. You weren't there when we needed you. When Mom was sick, when Dawn was struggling and depressed and when I-." She halted momentarily, "When I needed you, you weren't there."
"No, I wasn't. I screwed up. I thought my work and what I wanted were more important then my family. And I was wrong."
"Oh, and just like that I'm supposed to forgive you? For what you did? For leaving?"
"Buffy please."
"Please what? You left Mom and us high and dry."
"Buffy, I loved your mother-"
"You sure as hell had a funny way of showing it."
He took a deep breath, "Buffy I loved your mother. When we got married it was one of the happiest days of my life. When you and Dawn came along, I was just as happy. But, people change over time. I changed, your mother changed. Our relationship changed, we just grew apart."
"We grew apart? That's your excuse?"
"It's not an excuse Buffy, it's the truth. Your mother and I just ended up going in different directions. I know the divorce was hard on you and Dawn. I'm sorry you were caught in the middle like that. I tried to help when I could. I sent alimony and child support for you and Dawn. I sent her enough money so that you could go to college."
A twitch of emotion ran through her as that bit of information came to light.
"I didn't learn that Joyce had passed away until almost afterwards. And I just lost it. I almost lost my job; I ended the relationship I was in. I started drinking heavily, I was in a very dark and rough place."
Buffy found herself nodding slightly. Her father continued, a distant look coming over his face, "Luckily I had friends, some old friends of your mother and I from college days. They found me and helped me. They listened to me when I needed someone to talk to. When I needed someone, they were there for me." He swallowed forcing some unpleasant memories back.
She sat quietly as images from her past flashed through her mind, memories of things she had done and the people she had known.
"Buffy? Is there something bothering you?"
She didn't answer him, "Buffy I know about some of the things you did. I know about Spike, Angel and Riley. I know you're not like other girls." His daughter looked up as surprise and fear spread across her face. "Dad, I-."
"You don't have to say anything. I know you have a special duty. And I can't think of a better person to handle it."
"I'm not the only one."
"No but you are the best one. You won when others failed."
"Some winner, Sunnydale is just a hole in the ground."
"But, you're here. Dawn's here. Your friends are here."
"Not all of them. Mom's buried in there too."
"Buffy your mother isn't in Sunnydale."
"Huh?"
"She's in you and Dawn. In your face, in your voice, in everything you do, that's where Joyce is. Not in some hole in the ground."
Buffy shuddered, "She's not in everything I did. She wouldn't do some of the things, I've done. Or be with the people I'm with."
Hank looked at his daughter as she seemed to shrink before his eyes, "Buffy, you can't keep doing that."
"Doing what?"
"Blaming yourself for everything. It's not all your fault, you're still a young woman, you're still growing up."
A few minutes of uncomfortable silence passed before she spoke again, "Dad, about Angel and Spike-."
He raised his hands up as he interrupted her, "You don't have to explain anything to me, Buffy. I know they were older then you and that maybe that's what you needed."
Buffy blinked thinking 'he doesn't know' as Hank continued, "And I know that sometimes, girls without a father, try to find him again in their lives somehow."
Buffy's stomach was in knots, as she listened, "I don't want you trying to justify to me what happened or why you did those things. All I want is for you and Dawn to be happy. So are you?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because I don't know what to do."
"What do about what?"
"Xander, Alexander, he hates me. He thinks I abandoned him. And now he's here trying to-"
"Buffy, stop. Xander, he was the one that called me?" She nodded. "Your mother mentioned some of your friends last time we talked, she said there was a boy that was always around you and always trying to help. That was Xander wasn't it?"
Buffy nodded, "He helped me out on the first day of school. He even saved my life once."
"And why does he think you abandoned him?"
"I didn't choose him." The words slip out before she can help herself.
Hank sighed, "Why not?"
"He wasn't. He wasn't what I wanted."
"And is what you have now, what you wanted?"
"It's better what I've had."
"That isn't what I asked."
Her silence spoke for itself.
"Buffy, you can't go through your life afraid."
"I'm not afraid of anything."
"Then why are you here instead of trying to fix things with your friend?"
"Because I don't know what to do."
"I think you do Buffy. I just think you're afraid to do it. You're afraid of your friend and I don't know why. That's something only you know."
Hank stood up slowly wincing as he did so; "I'm going to go see Dawn before I leave."
"Leave?"
He looked down at her; "I have a flight to catch tonight Buffy. I can't stay, I wish I could but I can't."
Hesitantly, Buffy stood up and faced him. Father and daughter stared at each other uncomfortably before she moved to the door and opened it. Hank followed and went out into the hall. "She's usually in the library right now. If not her room is one floor up, second door down." He nodded and prepared to leave.
"Dad?"
Hank turned around to see her come to up him slowly. She bit her lip and embraced him awkwardly. He brought his arms around her and spoke gently into her hair, "I love you." "I missed you."
They stood like that for a while. Afraid to let go, afraid to say goodbye one more time.