Luke: I'm Luke!
Yan: And I'm Yan!
WITH THE WEATHER REPORT
Yan: Hay haven't we already done this?
Luke: *~*
Yan: I'm Yan!
Luke: And I'm Luke!
WITH THE DISCLAMER
Luke: Penalty does not own Hellsing!
Yan: Nor me even though I'm a bad ass harbinger of love!
Luke: Shut up! Nor does she own any of the characters. Even though we have been told she looks like Rip.
Penalty: * smacks Luke *
Luke: OOOWWW!
Penalty: Bitch no I don't argh!!!
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"1.2.3 Who should I kill, Every mother fucker runin up the hill,1.2.3 what should I do, Get fucked up and fuck up with you dun dun dun dun dun ........PUSSY LIQUOR!" Yan had put one of his mindless annoying rock bands on. The song was almost as bad as Yan's attempt at singing. Luke finally had enough of this song. He thought that three times in a row was plenty. He reached out and pressed the eject button.
Silence.
"Bro.... What that the fuck ?" Yan yelled, complaining.
"I'm turning it off Yan!" Yan glared at his brother and pushed the CD back in and skipped back to the song. Luke then pressed the eject button again before the song could even start. Grabbing the CD as it exited the player Luke threw it to the back of the car for he knew that Yan would just start playing it again.
"You Bastard that better not be fuckin scratched!" Yan turned around to reach out for his CD that had landed on the back seat.
"I said you could listen to your music if you shut up. But you seem to sing along. I can't stand to listen to your insane whining anymore. Don't you know what the word shut up means?"
Yan could only smile. "Nope and Shut up is two fuckin words you idiot!" Luke sighed and rolled his eyes. Yan had now slapped another one of his CD's into the player and again was singing along to it. This situation reminded Luke of when they where kids and Yan would insist he watched his sing along Disney videos when he knew Luke wanted to read his Mr. Happy book.
"All day I dream about sex...... All day I dream about ffuuuccckkkinnggg!" This rock music was almost as annoying as Yan. Wait no Yan was the most annoying thing Luke knew. Luke grasped the steering wheel tighter with both hands. "Only a few more blocks and we'll be there." Luke thought to himself.
"Yan brother dear do we have to listen to this. May be.... I don't know we could listen to something more classy?" Luke asked, uncomfortable with the rock music.
Yan shrugged. "Sure whatever we're nearly there anyway."
Luke gave out a sigh of relief. "Thank god." He murmured.
Yan handed him the CD holder. They conveniently stopped at a red light giving him enough time to sort out a suitable CD. There it was a CD he thought would piss Yan off. One of Luke's dates' had insisted he played it. She unfortunately went missing' after there date so it was left in his car. Luke pushed the CD in to the player then pressed play. Just in time for the light changed green. The CD took a few minutes then there was four sharp claps then.
I'M LOVIN IT (BADABABABA) Followed by the smooth sounds of Justin Timberlake. An evil smile crept over Luke's face as he looked at his shocked brother's face.
"Bro you fuckin own this?" Yan was shocked he pointed at Luke with one of his gloved fingers and burst out in to his shriekish laughter.
"DUDE JT is the fuckin man! Badabababa I'm lovin it!" Luke hit his head against the steering wheel, then realized he had taken his eyes off the road. Swerving the car out the way before he hit an old granny.
"I'm lovin it badbabababa!" By now Yan had cranked the volume to full blast. He had the window down and one arm out holding a lit cigarette. He tapped his hand on the side off the car door to the beat. They stopped at yet another set of traffic lights.
"Damn why are the lights always against me?" Luke cursed
"That's cos your fuckin damned forever and your goin to Hell" Yan said with drawing his cigarette from his mouth and exhaling the smoke out the window. His eyes were greeted by two females in the car next to them. Yan hanged his head out of the car like a dog to get a better look.
"Hay there bitches!" He shouted over the music to the neighbouring soft top car. The two young females looked over their blackened specs. They didn't take to kindly to be called bitches. The passenger, a brunette rolled her eyes and looked back at the road. The driver flicked her black hair and shrugged him off.
"Yo bitches! I'm talkin to you, you fuckin foxy ladies!" The darker haired of the two glared over her sunglasses and looked at the gawking Yan.
"Yeah fuck yeah am i talkin to you! Wanna go for a ride with me? You seem the type that would scream for fuckin more of me!" Yan smiled chuffly and raised a eyebrow at her. Yan's chat up lines where always crude and straight to the point. But he was soon to learn that he was definately not her type. The brunette placed her right hand on the drivers thigh.
"Hunny is this pig pissing you off?" She then whispered something in her lover's ear. Yan only caught the word three-some. Which with the sound of that word he seemed to get a smile from ear to ear thinking "Fuck yeah!!"
"Nar he's not our type. He's one off them!" She giggled and looked past Yan to his blonde haired brother who was now swearing at the lights. Evily the black haired one kissed her lover on the lips, obviously just to taunt Yan. Who was now drooling with his tongue hanging out, and if he wasn't careful his dragging tongue would indeed get run over.
"Bro! Bro... BRO!" Yan retrieved his tongue of the floor and tapped his brother on the arm.
"What now Yan" He snapped.
"There's lesbians in that car!" He was almost hyperventilating from excitement and was franticly pointing to the neighbouring car.
"Yes they're lesbians Yan, how nice I heard. But did you here what they were getting at?" Yan looked confused like I said he was the slower one of the two. Luke flicked the electric button putting the window back up. "Doesn't matter, you wouldn't be too pleased." Luke looked back up at the lights which flicked to green. With a sigh of relief he pulled the car away from Yan's two friends.'
"No wait bro... BRO! I wanna go with them bro.... bro .....BRO!!!!! No!!!" Yan squashed his face up against the window, as they pulled away streams of anime tears rolled down his tanned cheeks.
"NNNNNOOOOO!" Luke kept both eyes on the road and blocked the pleas of Yan to go back. Nothing was going to stop him from reaching the super market not even a whole car full of hot lesbians. He needed coffee and he needed it bad.
Eventually the Valentine brothers arrived at the super market's parking lot. By now Luke had decided from disliking Justine Timberlake it went to pure hatred.
"You know what I fancy Luke?" Yan asked his brother.
"A smack in the face!" Luke mumbled.
"Huh? What the fuck? Any way I think I want a fucking McDonalds. That fuckin song makes me want one. Do you think they like put fucking subliminal messages in it?" Yan was now going off on one " You know like. You must eat fuckin McDonalds in the fuckin lyric's. I bet they fuckin do and I bet they like kidnapped him to sing the song and like-"
"Yan shut up you really do get annoying and we're not having a McDonald's we're vampires!" Yan just continued his little theory about McDonald's and how Justin Timberlake wants to take over the world.
"Yeah I fuckin fancy one of them mother fuckin Big Macs with shit loads of fries!" Luke remembered something horrible something that he didn't want to relive.
"Yan junk food gives you gas." Luke shuddered as he remembered his younger brothers bad habits of breaking in to his room at night farting on his head then running away laughing and the stupid pull my finger thing which Luke never quite got.
"Well gas or no gas I'm havin a fuckin McDonald's I haven't eaten anything for like fuckin years!"
Luke sighed heavily as he pulled the keys out of the ignition and opened the door. He knew this was one fight he couldn't win and the way home would be torturous and stinky. He stepped out in to the midday sun flicked his hair behind his shoulder adjusted his tie. He looked up at the sun.
"Only mad dogs and English men go out in the midday sun!" He looked at his watched which flashed one o 'clock.
"Yeah well we're a couple of mad mother fuckers!" Yan replied as he slammed the car door. "Yeah a mother fuckin Big Mac I can taste it now!" He licked his lips. "So when we get there what you getting bro?" They walked to the super market that also had a conveniently placed McDonald's on site. More than likely so that mothers could bribe their kids to help them with the shopping
"You still going on about it? Why do you crave junk Yan? We're VAMP-" Luke looked around and noticed that he was being glared at by mothers and there little brats. More than likely Yan had caught their attention with his swearing problem. Luke felt a sudden unease come over him. All those eyes staring at him. Those eyes so many of them everywhere his legs started to go numb as he remembered the torture he went through growing them back and the horror to find that his favorite suit was ruined.
"Those eyes! Eyes every where!" Luke's face went whiter more than usual "Um Yan... does McDonald's do coffee really, really strong coffee? "Yan looked confused at his pale brother who was freaking out and mumbling something about how he hated dog food. Luke grabbed his brother's wrist. His face had gone white and his left eye was repeatedly twitching.
"Um bro I think we so fuckin need to get you some coffee." Yan dragged his frozen sibling to the restaurant.
"Mommy that man was holding that other guys hand?" A small boy pointed out to his mother.
"Don't worry Timmy may be he likes men." The boy's mother stared at the brothers.
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wow so anther chappie fin soz it's not as funny and also I apologize. SORRY
Luke: You will I'm not gay!
Yan: Hehe yeah you fuckin are! :-p
But anyway I'm gonna take this crazy pair and think of an even funnier next chappie.
Yan: Is there gonna be lesbians? * Both Penalty and Luke fall over anime stylie. *
Unfortunately there won't be any mild or any yuri in the next chappie sorry!
Yan: Well I'm off! * walks off *
Any way hope you enjoyed, hope to see you next time