Yan: My ball *Holds ball out to Penalty *

Penalty* There, there Yan *hugs Yan who has an evil grin on his face *

*Yan thinks to self: Who said I didn't pop it on fuckin purpose. Yes shower pity upon me haha! *

Penalty: Yan? Is that your hand on my butt?

Yan: May be * grins*

Penalty: *~* Eeeewww!

Hay one has returned and thanks to KharBevNor lol. Subway has arrived in our tiny town so haven't been to Mac Donald's for ages oh no tell a lie I went this morning. But I didn't want to do a Luke and gawk at the menu for ages then walk out. Lol but I will at sum point sort that bit out instead of putting ......... and to Blue mew I live in England so I know the slang and trust me we say fries and OMG ! did I put 'don't be skimp with the fries' lol well skimp can be the new stingy. Plus a shout out to child of flames ^-^ Gud choice of tunes plus no I didn't take offense just was very confused and yes it is stupid lyrics but quite humorous as it relates to Yan well. As oohhh really I have inspired you to do a pic please make sure you send me a link ^_^.

The Disclaimer: AARR why can't I own Hellsing please Mr man who made it let me own it? *Pleading on blooded knees *

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Luke had sped away from his mischievous brother.

"Bro!!Bro!! WAIT!" Luke then looked behind to see two big security guards walking towards him with their arms in arms with Yan.

"Excuse me sir is this you're son?" Luke lifted an eyebrow in horror, did he really look that old?

" Um"

Yan gave an evil toothy smile "Yeah dad!"

Luke shuddered at the thought of him being his offspring it was bad enough they where related.

"Well could you keep him under control and do something with that foul mouth of his?" They let go of Yan's arms and then walked off.

"God what parent would teach their kid language like that?" The one said to the other.

Yan glared at them evilly, dusted his shoulders then screwed his face up at then and childishly extended his middle finger up behind their backs. Luke clouted his brother round the back of the head, which made his hat go flying exposing really bad hat hair.

"WHAT THE FUCK?" He rubbed the back of his head and crouched down on the floor to pick up his hat. "God Luke you dick what was that for?"

"Well if mom caught you saying stuff like that she would do the same thing."

"Fuck you're not my fuckin father!" He said in a strop as he re adjusted his hat.

"And aren't I glad I'm not your father! Luke shuddered at the same thought of him being his offspring and now he knew he would be paranoid that he looked old. "You should really find a better way to express your self Yan?" Luke said conservatively

"What bro? You mean like fuckin paint or sum think?"

"No Yan I'm on about your swearing problem!"

Yan just smiled he had tried but nothing seemed to work with him. Swear jars just filled up quickly and then he spent the money on cigarettes. "Like that's ever gonna fuckin happen? Swearing and me go to together like a horse and a fuckin carriage!"

Luke thought to him self "Well may be you could just say something else?"

"What like bitch? Cock? ..."

Luke looked shocked at the amount of swear words Yan knew he wondered where he found all of them. "Um no Yan I meant change it to something else like......... If you fell over you would say?"

"Shit! I fuckin fell over!"

Luke was really getting no where with this. "No Yan you could say whoops se daisy."

Yan just looked at him blankly and then broke out into a fit of hysterical giggles. "What the fuck bro that's like so gay! Just cos you say it doesn't mean I fuckin have to!" He carried on laughing.

"Well may be you could find a word that sounds like a swear word?"

"Umlike vegetable eatin mother trucker or how about you bic!"

"Bic? Isn't that a pen?"

"Yep how insulting is it to be called a fuckin pen or a Bic or I could call you a truckin berral!"

Luke was now getting scared of his brothers trail of thought. "I think we should drop this subject Yan?" He said as he started to walk off.

"Yeah you BIC!" Yan screwed his face up and extended his middle finger behind Luke's back and shouted. "ICH SCHEIBE DARAUF*" Luke stopped in his tracks. He couldn't believe his ears. When was Yan ever bilingual this wasn't right.

"Yan do you even now what you said?" Luke looked over his shoulder and looked down at his simple-minded brother who just shrugged he still had his middle finger extended.

"I don't now bro but Jolene always does it to me?"

Luke chuckled. AARR the ever butch Jolene she was all most as foul mouthed as Yan. "You're an idiot Yan, you shouldn't say things you don't no what they mean." Luke turned round. "Go get that trolley?"

"Mocca mocca su su Ama!**." Luke rolled his eyes as his brother knowledge of swear words in other languages was annoying.

"Yan remember I did study at Oxford and yes I now what you said plus I was the one who taught you it!" Luke sighed "Just get the trolley!"

"I fuckin can't bro them bastard security guards said that if I went near another trolley again they would break my neck!"

Luke slapped his palm against his head. Yes today was turning out to be a long day. He stormed past Yan and headed back to the main entrance singled out another trolley and stormed back in pushing it. Only to find his brother had gone from where he left him. Luke only knew to well that a missing Yan meant trouble for him. Luke pondered if using his super fast abnormal speed to find him would work? But then a certain giggle came from the magazine racks, that where situated a little way from the entrance to the left.

"Fuck Yeah that's just what I wanted to see!" Yan was glued behind one off his favourite glossy magazines and I'm not talking about vogue ^_-. But any way anything female and naked would definately get Yan's full undivided attention.

"Yan what do you think your doing?" Luke reached out to the magazine and tried to pull it out of his brother's perverted hands. Only to discover he had a good grip on it plus he was fully engrossed behind it as he didn't even acknowledge his brother's presence.

"Yan let go!" Luke ordered. "You have enough at home now give it here?" Luke screamed at his brother. People looked at the pair oddly and sniggered.

" God look at those guys? How sad they're fighting over a porn mag!" A blonde girl said to her friend.

"God how totally deprived can two guys get?" They nodded then walked away to continue there shopping.

"Yan give it here people are starring!" Luke had now got his palm on Yan's face as he tried to pull to pull the magazine away but his brother was hypnotized.

Yan then blinked. "Um bro it's kinda hard for me to turn the page when your fuckin hand is in my face!" Luke released his brother's face. "Shesh bro if you wanted some of this action you should of just fuckin asked?" Luke snatched the magazine while he had the chance. "HAY LUKE!" Yan clawed the air as his older brother held the magazine in the air like a big bully taunting its prey.

"First of all Yan! I can get my own 'action' and second we're here to get milk not buy the hole bloody shop!"

Yan gave Luke his puppy dog eyes and wobbled his pierced bottom lip "But bro." He pointed to the magazine, which made Luke sigh.

"All right just this once!" He tossed the magazine it to the trolley. Yan knew that his brother was a push over especially when it came to the puppy dog eyes look. Yan smiled smugly.

"Ah! Welcome lads and lasses to the Mega store!" There was an announcement from the a P.A system. The announcer seemed to have a very strong thick Scottish accent. "Come and see the popular for ever sharp Christian holy knives! See for yourself at isle 7!" Luke pondered and rubbed his chin in thought. He knew that voice but just couldn't put a face to it.

"Fuck yeah knifes! Wow and there fuckin holy! They would work perfectly on Big Red!" Yan rubbed his hands together and cackled evilly.

"Yan may I ask when have you ever been in to knives? I thought you said you where a gun guy through and through?" Luke asked his brother.

Yan was a bit of a gun enthusiast. "Yeah well I thought you where a tit's and ass guy but..." Yan was now shoving Luke along from the back to try and hurry him along. "Come on bro hurry up." He growled.

"Um Yan I can move a hell of a lot faster than you. You know I was the one give super huYAN did you call me gay?" Yan stopped shoving his brother. Luke was now looking over his shoulder at him.

"Oh yeah great fuckin speed bro took you long enough to figure out when some one is fuckin insulting you?" Luke turned round and gripped the trolley until his knuckles went a shade paler than him.

"Eeeerrrr took u fuckin long enough blar blar. God he's such a moron! " Luke mumbled to himself. The pair arrived at isle 7. They both stopped in horror.

"Shit bro it's that crazy knife welding priest dude!"

"Um bugger." Luke was stood there in horror he had already died once he didn't partially want to be slaughtered in a super market. "Um I Yan think we should" But by now Yan had joined the crowd of people that where surrounding the giant priest.

"Are you tired of knifes that just never stay sharp?" The priest known as Alexander Anderson was chopping up some sort of meat on his display table. "Well with these holy blades, blessed by the lord will stay sharp for ever. They even cut through any thing like a hot knife through butter." He picked the blooded knife up and showed the crowd with a cheesy smile that was thought impossible.

Next to him stood his lovely assistant a long blonde slicked back haired guy. Also clad in priest clothes. He was holding on to a cloth that mysteriously draped over something.

"The holy blades can even slice through demons!" The crowd gasped as glamorous assistant know as Enrico Maxwell tugged on the red cloak making the crowd go oooooo and aarrrrrrr. There stood a wobble replica of Alucard complete with chibi angry face....

"ARG IM A SCARY MONSTER! ARG FEAR ME!!!" Yan laughed at the pathetic attempt of Alucard.

"See lads and lasses as the holly blades can slice through any thing!" Anderson then turned in to his normal ecentric priest routine screaming at the tops of his lungs, welding his holy blades and showering bits of paper everywhere. "Damn you foul beast I shall slay yeah on behalf of god!" Anderson hit the wobble Alucard who then popped back up.

"ARG I'M A SCARY MONSTER!! ARG FEAR ME!"

Anderson was fuming. "DIE FOUL CREATURE!" He punched it again.

"ARG IM A SCARY MONSTER!! ARG FEAR ME!" The enflated Alucard repeated.

"AAAARR PIG SWILL OF HELL I WILL BANISH YEAH BACK TO THE HOLE FROM ONCE THEE CAME!" He trusted one of his blades in to the side of the inflatable Alucard. Then pulled out leaving a hole that made a sizzling sound as air leaked out

"ARGI'M A ....SCARY ...MON...STER.." The inflatable Alucard slowly drifted to the floor. Anderson stood over it triumphantly clutching his knife.

Maxwell just sweat dropped and slapped his forehead "Great now I have to pay for another one of those things!"

Yan stood there and had also sweat dropped out of sure confusion. He couldn't quiet grasp what had just happened. Even the crowd looked slightly confused. But Anderson just stood there beaming as if he had just killed the real thing. Luke grabbed Yan by the arm and towed him behind a tower of gherkins, which he was hiding behind.

"What the bloody hell are you up to?" Luke ordered.

Yan just laughed at his brother. "Oh my god did you see that? It was so fuckin funny!" Luke just frowned he didn't like to hang around knife welding psychopathic priest who enjoyed slaying vampires. "But bro you saw what they did to the inflatable Alucard just think what they might do to the real one?" He raised a dark eyebrow thinking of the possibilities.

"Yan now just think what you just said then ... InflatableDo you really think that the real Alucard is full of air?"

Yan paused to think then leant up against the tower of cans. "Um I don't fuckin know!" Yan frowned at his brother. "Why do you always have to make a fuckin point out of every fuckin little thing?" He pulled a can out to through it childishly at his brother's head. He paused, Yan noticed his brother's face of pure horror. Was he terrified of a can being thrown at him. Yan turned round his eyes widened in horror. Luke could only stand in terror as a tsunami of gherkin filled cans came crashing over them both. His eyes widened and in slow motion both Valentine Brothers shrieked out. "NNNNOOOOO!"

Darkness all Luke could see was darkness. Was this hell? Then a ray of light shone through then more.

"Shit bro I thought you were a gonna!"

Luke squinted his eyes as he tried to refocus on a brown blob in front of him he growled. Yan picked him up on to his feet. Cans of gherkins fell from his lap. Both were stood on top of a mountain of cans. The two had been buried by the tower of canned gherkins. Luke found himself arm in arm with the same security guards that had dragged Yan in.

"Like we said sir could you keep control of your son?" The one spoke.

"Yes we suggest a leash and mussel for that one?" He looked at Yan.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

* Shit on this

** Fuck you Bitch



Luke : Why oh why does it always happen to me?

Yan: A mussel and leash I ain't no fuckin gimp!

Penalty: *Smiles evilly * Hehe yeah you are hahaha! But oh wait till the next chappie of Brotherly love oohhh "Love at first fright".

Luke: That's such a gay name!

Yan: Not as gay as you!

Penalty: Any way I shall leave before there's a fisty cuff between these two. ^_^ See you all later Bye Bye