Disclaimer: There have been thousands of these made, and yet those damn producers don't get it – we own nothing! You have everything that we hold precious (and by that I mean rights to various TV shows, books and movies, not the normal things like family members and possessions). Unless you're all willing to make a very generous birthday present, get over it. Us = 0; Hollywood =9999999999999999 . . .
Just a short little something. Two fish hanging around the rocks below the fort at around the time of Commodore Norrington's promotion ceremony. Crazy conversation just has to ensue.
Cast: Fred (a fish) Sam (a fish) Elizabeth (a lady) Captain Jack (a wossname)
Fred?
Yeah?
Woss the meanin' of life?
What d'you mean?
I mean, when you get down to it, and I mean really get down to it, woss it all about? Woss there to stop me from frowin' in the towel, callin' it a day an' stickin' a big 'eat me' sign across my forehead?
Sam, you're a fish. I'm a fish. We ain't got no foreheads.
I was speaking metaphorically.
Well, I dunno. I've never really fought bout it. It's all down to wossname. Y'know, like sex but a bit later.
What, procreation?
Yeah, that's the one.
Oh. Fred?
Yeah?
Woss 'Made in Singapore' mean?
Type o' cement mixer, I fink. Why 'choo ask?
Only, I just saw one go past.
I fink you're goin' daft, Sam.
No, honest! It was on one of them wossnames, fings that ladies wear.
What, jewellery?
No! Well, there was that as well, but I was finkin' more on the general attire, if you catch my drift.
A dress?
That's the one.
Sam, we're at the bottom of the ocean. I really don't fink that you're gonna find someone wearin' gladrags at this kind of depth.
But there was a lady wearin' it.
A lady, eh?
Yeah.
Sam, if you don't stop talking nonsense I'm goin ta make you bloody sorry that you were ever 'atched!
Sorry, Fred. Fred, I just saw somefin' that might make you go a bit crazy but . . .
What is it, Sam?
There was a man that just jumped in after 'er. I fink he's goin' ta drag 'er back up to the surface and rescue 'er and-
Sam, do you know what?
What?
You're really weird.
Just a short little something. Two fish hanging around the rocks below the fort at around the time of Commodore Norrington's promotion ceremony. Crazy conversation just has to ensue.
Cast: Fred (a fish) Sam (a fish) Elizabeth (a lady) Captain Jack (a wossname)
Fred?
Yeah?
Woss the meanin' of life?
What d'you mean?
I mean, when you get down to it, and I mean really get down to it, woss it all about? Woss there to stop me from frowin' in the towel, callin' it a day an' stickin' a big 'eat me' sign across my forehead?
Sam, you're a fish. I'm a fish. We ain't got no foreheads.
I was speaking metaphorically.
Well, I dunno. I've never really fought bout it. It's all down to wossname. Y'know, like sex but a bit later.
What, procreation?
Yeah, that's the one.
Oh. Fred?
Yeah?
Woss 'Made in Singapore' mean?
Type o' cement mixer, I fink. Why 'choo ask?
Only, I just saw one go past.
I fink you're goin' daft, Sam.
No, honest! It was on one of them wossnames, fings that ladies wear.
What, jewellery?
No! Well, there was that as well, but I was finkin' more on the general attire, if you catch my drift.
A dress?
That's the one.
Sam, we're at the bottom of the ocean. I really don't fink that you're gonna find someone wearin' gladrags at this kind of depth.
But there was a lady wearin' it.
A lady, eh?
Yeah.
Sam, if you don't stop talking nonsense I'm goin ta make you bloody sorry that you were ever 'atched!
Sorry, Fred. Fred, I just saw somefin' that might make you go a bit crazy but . . .
What is it, Sam?
There was a man that just jumped in after 'er. I fink he's goin' ta drag 'er back up to the surface and rescue 'er and-
Sam, do you know what?
What?
You're really weird.