Title: I wish I may; I wish I might

Author:
Marlena ( & Trav )

Email:
All feedback email may be sent to bloodflame013@aol.com

Disclaimer: I ( Actually WE ) don't own anything, or anyone. This is based strictly on role-play. It has nothing to do with the real Pirates of the Caribbean. It would be a 'before look' if anything; based on the content. The characters, setting, etc is from the movie, and this is my way of stating I'm NOT claming ownership. So don't screw me, err sue me, okay? The portrayal of Elizabeth Swann is credit to Marlena; while on the flipside, Will Turner is credit to Trav. Comments are always welcome.

Prologue: Elizabeth Swann is the governor's daughter. Will ( William ) Turner, is a simple blacksmith. As far as everything was stated, these two were from two different worlds, and were never to come together in any way shape or form. But can classes stand in the way of true love?

Author Note: The following chapter is an Elizabeth diary entry, that would be after she arrived home. ( After the chapter 6 happenings ) Written by Marlena. ( It's a product of my pure boredom, but it in fact does go with the story over all )

Chapter Seven: Discombobulated Melancholy

Elizabeth arrived home at the Swann Manor, her eyes tarted with red lining, like a storm cloud lined with silver. Only it was far less flattering. Jaquiline noticed Elizabeth's tear stained eyes, as she was running up the stairs, a frown spread across the handmaids face.

As Elizabeth entered her bedroom, she shut the door forcefully behind her. Leaning her back against it, she reached behind her, her hand stumbling to find the doorknob. Locking it, Elizabeth pushed herself off the door, a few remaining tears spilling from the girl's sad eyes. She sat down at her desk, taking a few deep breathes, as she pulled out a blue velvet bound book. On the front, in silver embroidery it read "Elizabeth's diary"; and she pulled out a quill and some ink. Dipping it into the ink, Elizabeth stifled a sob as she opened the diary, and began writing.

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Dear Journal;


Unbelievable. Simply unheard of. To say the very least, I am not pleased. Heartbroken, would more so be the term. Good day, journal, Elizabeth here. I just returned from the blacksmith's shop, and…I don't know. There is so much uncertainty, and miscommunication, I don't even think Will and I stand a chance at overcoming adversity. Actually now, I'm completely certain we won't.

Captain Norrington, congratulations you scoundrel. You've finally won the battle. No longer will "mediocre" William Turner be a threat to your perfect existence. Somehow, some way, Norrington found out about Will and my secret meetings. We thought, everything was discreet. So well planned. So perfect. We were proven wrong. Norrington came to me earlier, and was telling me of his 'discoveries'. However, I think I managed to make him believe me. Here's to hoping.

But Will… *Sighs* I don't know what to do. This is a bad case of tomfoolery if you ask me. Just a big joke. Why did I have to give my heart up to be crushed? Never in my life had I experienced such heartbreak from one person. Not even my father had ever hurt me so much. He all but told me, to crawl into the Captain's bed. Or at least; that's how I took it. How else could I? If he didn't love me, why did he lead me on?!

So maybe I was a fool. Love is a game played by them, for them, and to make one out of people. Or at least that's what I'm gathering here. What else could I think? After all, what just happened could only be described as idiotic. *Wipes away a tear, and continues* I cannot believe I fell into this, trap. Maybe I am destined to be alone? Because I would never consider loving someone the same way that I loved William. Norrington could never take the place of Will, I know this. Nobody, nowhere, no HOW, could take the place of Will. Why do I feel like this for him? It's ridiculous…I need to pull myself together.

Journal, it's uncanny that I should have realized all too late the love I have for him. It's absolutely ironic. *Shakes head* I've said it before, but I have to say it again. I am a fool! An absolute moron. Why did I allow myself to let someone the likes of William Turner get away from me? I know I have no right to ever even think I had a chance with him, after all, our world would never allow it. My father, would never allow it. Captain Norrington would never allow it. But what about what I want!? It is my life isn't it?!

…Well, it was

I told Will about this, rumour of sort that I heard. That Captain Norrington will be gaining promotion in the near future. Commodore, Norrington. I shudder to even think! He already believes he is the best thing in the world - as if - but with a little more notoriety to his name? He would be absolutely unbearable. Although…he already is quite inadmissible. If he is already willing to bully a man, who is clearly younger than he - and have his men beat him into a bloody pulp ( Yes, he and a couple of his men did that to Will… ) then what would it be like if he gained more power? I couldn't handle it…

I keep drifting back to what happened at the blacksmith's shop. How it all ended… *Takes a deep breath and releases it heavily* I don't know why I'm so struck over this. I mean, I could probably have any man worthy of my time I wish. After all, it seems to be a great thing to be my father's daughter. Especially for such a reason as companionship. But maybe - just maybe that's not what I want. Maybe all I do want is that simple blacksmith. A man who knows about hardship, a man who knows what it's like to be happy with what is handed to him. William.

*Laughs sarcastically* But CLEARLY that can't happen now. They say everyone has a soul mate. I felt like I was born to make Will happy. I felt, as if I had found my eternal lover in my childhood friend. He would walk with me until eternity breathed upon us; bestowed old age upon our dying youth, and left us where we had but only each other. Could I have BEEN more naive!? Could I have been more stupid? *Cries softly* Why did this have to happen now…after everything…

It's upsetting; I'm beginning to lose my train of thought. I should probably go, Jaquiline is rapping at my quarters door. She saw me coming in, and I think she could tell I was crying - the poor lass. I need to fill her in on what is going on. She's such a good friend, you know. I wish there was something I could do to gain her some real notoriety… *sighs* I fully give up on love, though.. Until next time;


Mournfully yours;
Elizabeth Swann

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Elizabeth ripped out the page from the journal, and walked over to the fireplace. She heard a knock on the door once again. She tossed the piece of paper into the blaze - walking away to answer the door.

---fin---