TITLE: I wish I may, I wish I might

AUTHOR NAME: Marlena & Trav

EMAIL: All feedback email may be sent to bloodflame013@aol.com

CATEGORY: Romance

SUB CATEGORY: General

RATING: G - General - approved for all audiences ( save for chapter 9 to some audiences because of content )

PAIRING: Elizabeth Swann & Will Turner

DISTRIBUTION: Ask and you might receive. But why would you want it?
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SUMMARY: Elizabeth Swann is the Governor's daughter. Will ( William ) Turner, is a 'simple' blacksmith. As far as everything was stated, these two were from two different worlds, and were never to come together in any way shape or form. But can classes stand in the way of true love?

DISCLAIMER: I ( actually WE ) don't own anything or anyone. This is based strictly on role-play. It has nothing to do with the real Pirates of the Caribbean®. It would be a 'before look' if anything; based on the content. The characters, setting, etc is from the movie, and this is my way of stating I'm NOT claiming ownership. So don't screw me, err sue me, okay? The portrayal of Elizabeth Swann is credited to Marlena, while on the flipside, Will Turner is credited to Trav. Comments are always welcome.
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Chapter Ten: Desolate Confession


Will locked the door to the blacksmith's shop and straightened his jacket before he headed off down the way. Crossing, he thought to stop into Mary's, but stopped himself as his fingertips brushed the wood. While he may have not had the heart to go to the fort, and speak to the Governor in public, he knew it still had to be done. Mary would hear nothing of his peace of mind, and his peace of heart was surely out of the picture. Removing his hand from the door before he might be caught in a pregnant moment of hesitation, he continued on his way to the Governor's manor. Elizabeth's manor. God, he hoped she wasn't home. He wasn't sure if he didn't want to see her, so he wanted her father to have plenty of thinking room, probably both. Not that it should concern the governor all too much, to find out that this know-nothing shop boy had a crush on his daughter. Such things didn't worry a man after he'd already sold said daughter off. The thought of Elizabeth's hand being Norrington's made the bile rise in his throat and caused him to stop and regain his bearings before continuing. There wasn't much he could do to convince the governor that Norrington was rotten, especially with Elizabeth's new passion toward him. So it was set what he was going to do, tell the governor of his part and that was all. He would do nothing to implicate Elizabeth, and speak nothing of Norrington. Set as he was, his heart still pounded as he walked through the main gate and up to the manor. It threw itself against his ribs in unrelenting torrents of uneasiness and heart break. He hit the knocker on the door sharply. This was it.. there was no taking the words back once they were said.. he fidgeted with the cuff of one sleeve, waiting for his hangman to greet him.

The door opened, but the figure at the door wasn't the Governor or his right hand man, but Elizabeth's handmaid, Jaquiline. It wasn't normal for her to answer the door often, in fact, that wasn't one of her jobs. "Mr. Turner, a pleasure..." She said softly, as she stepped aside, allowing him to enter the manor. "I beg of your pardon, sir, but the Swann's aren't in. Governor Swann is down at the fort with Captain Norrington, and, well, I can't tell you where Ms. Swann has scuttled off to. I haven't a clue to be honest...." Something was definitely not right in the Swann Manor. For Jaquiline not to know of Elizabeth's where abouts, was almost unheard of. "I could however inform the governor of your coming by. Unless you would fancy waiting for him." She was always hospitable, despite anything that ever happened, she was always one to greet you with open arms. But what she didn't know, was Elizabeth was peeking through a crack in the double doors leading to her father's study. She was silent, never speaking a word, making a noise, and barely breathing. She just watched as Will was welcomed into their house by her handmaid, unable to stop it. Even if she wanted to. But she didn't. She wished she could have just ran out to him, but refrained in fear of Norrington's words. They still rang through her head like cannon fire, which alas brought tears to her dark, dimlit eyes. She had lacked a luster in them since the incident at the Fort just a few days previous, but no-one even noticed. Except Jaquiline. Tiredness, was the excuse Elizabeth shot out, a two shoe of lies, but Jaquiline never questioned her. "Would you like something to drink Mr. Turner, while you wait? If you choose to, I mean. I don't mean to be hasty, sir."

He knew better than to think Jacqueline could lift her thumb off Elizabeth.. even when they'd been sneaking off together, Jacqueline would greet him with a knowing smile if they passed in town. "You're a good friend to her Jacqueline.." His smile was weak, but it was all he could seem to muster. He didn't have many smiles left in his soul these days. He stepped inside the foyer of the manor, but he honestly didn't know what to do. If he left now, he'd have gotten his nerves up again for nothing.. if he stayed, he wasn't sure his nerves could hold him until the Governor returned. Not when whisps of Elizabeth's angelic scent clung to every breathe of air. Not when every approaching footstep or whispering voice could be Elizabeth's. Not when looking up in the direction where he knew her bedroom to be in, his heart rattled in his chest for an entirely new reason. It seemed there was not much of a choice to be made. "I won't be needing a drink Jacqueline.." he finally remarked with a soft sigh. "There are plenty of other chores I must be about before the day is done. Perhaps you could tell him that I stopped by, and that my matter is of some importance to him." That was really all he could tell her, anymore would be too much. "I know not what is awry in the manor, but I should think it will be remedied soon."

Jaquiline gave an understanding nod. "Aye, I know what you mean Mr. Turner. I have plenty to do as well." She could tell something wasn't right about Will, not concerning herself with the manor any more. "But I will tell the governor you stopped by, and will tell him that your means of coming were to importance of him." She said, almost as if she was trying to script it into her head. "Would you like me to have him call to you when he is free? Or go to you?" Even though it was probably unthought of, it could have happened. She didn't see why not, after all, it was of his concern - at least that's what Will had said. He was always a man of his word, so what would make this stopping any different?

The doors of the study opened, and unable to remain hidden any longer, Elizabeth walked out. She put on her best, 'just got in' face, as she looked to Jaquiline as she was heading toward the stairs. "Good afternoon, Jaquiline. If you need me, I'll be in my room. I'm dreadfully tired...I just came from..." she hesitated a moment, before thinking of a decent, and believable excuse. "Mistress Mary's. Terribly busy the woman is, you understand." She gave a small smile, and glanced offly at Will, never saying a word to him in fear of leading on to her inner turmoil, or, in fact - any of her problems that she kept hidden. He knew her like a book...surely he had caught her hesitation? She sighed, as she started toward the stairs. Jaquiline gave a quick nod toward Elizabeth, and then said her 'good day' to Will, as she turned to go toward the kitchen once more. She had left an opening for conversation between the two, but Elizabeth couldn't - she wouldn't, talk. She was too afraid.

"Take care, just deliver him my message, and I'll stop by some other time to discuss it with him Jacqueline." Will added to Jacqueline as she headed off on her way. His voice may have been headed in Jacqueline's direction, but his eye's hadn't left Elizabeth since she'd made her presence known. It was funny to him, for her to have been at Mary's.. without him having heard about it from Mary. And he couldn't be too sure, the years had dulled his knowledge of the manor, but he didn't think that room had any access to an outer door. How long then had Elizabeth been watching, listening to he and Jacqueline talking? Since their relationship had taken it's turn for the worse, Elizabeth seemed to be doing a lot of elusive things when it came to Will and Jacqueline's relations. But still, he watched her standing there, and still the words stuck in his throat when he opened his mouth to speak. He swallowed hard and opened his mouth again, hoping this time his words might reach hearing ears. "How are you?" The question was simple enough, but there was a betrayingly intimate tone to his voice which betrayed a deeper meaning than a polite nicety. When push came to shove, he was still that awkward little boy who rubbed the hem of his jacket between his fingers nervously whenever he saw Elizabeth and let his emotions betray his intentions whenever he tried to hide something.

She stopped dead with his single question. It was in fact, simple, but his voice and words directed to her, hit her hard. "I - I'm fine." She couldn't really think of anything else to say. Normally, it was a 'great', or at least a 'good', but today only fine? In fact, she wasn't even fine, it was the only cover up she could think. "Just, tired. You know how it goes..." Now, she was feeding it to him, the thought up, not so elaborate lie. "And yourself...?" Talking to him, made her feel even more knots build in her stomach. What if she was to slip up and say something ill of the captain? He'd find a way to send Will straight to the gallows. She swallowed hard on her own thoughts, as she took a breath. 'Get it together, Elizabeth' She thought to herself, as she finally looked toward Will that in itself, was painful for her. It was as if looking at the one thing she could never have, no matter how much or how many times she asked her daddy please. Norrington would convince her father that Will was nothing, a useless waste of space as he had been rumoured to thinking of him, or worse, he'd get Will killed. She wouldn't have been able to live with herself if that should happen, so she kept really to herself. She practically clung to the banister, her hands gripping the wood tightly, as if her life depended on it. Actually, it kind of did - considering her situation.

Will slowly nodded, she looked fine alright, she looked like she was going to flip over the banister at any moment if her grip loosened. "Good to hear.." She was tired? She'd been running so many rounds through his mind that he could barely close his eyes much less sleep at night. No, any sleep she'd lost over Norrington was a deservingly suffered night. He would have had to be deaf to not hear the tale of her trip to Norrington's private offices at the fort earlier in the week. How was he? A question she surely didn't want the true answer to. He could play a little bit of a game himself. "Wonderful, I was actually coming to speak with your father." Wonderful? Maybe he was over exaggerating just a bit, but hell, he wasn't about to admit to her that the misery of his days was only overshadowed by the torment he suffered with every smug look from one of Norrington's lot. It was getting to be more than he could take, but he'd settle it with the Governor soon. What was it they said about the best laid plans? "Seems I may be leaving my apprenticeship and Port Royal sooner than I'd planned." What would it hurt to let her in on a snip of the truth? It wasn't like she'd get it all from him, she would probably be pushing him toward her father's office.

"Oh...?" She felt her heartbeat race, her breath caught in her chest. He was....was leaving? Why? When? She was pelted with questions her mind couldn't even begin to answer, she tried to keep her expression from showing too much of how she was truly feeling. "Well I do wish you the best of luck, Will. In whatever you choose to do." God, that was painful to say...she didn't want to even lead on that she'd want him to go. She didn't. She NEEDED him there to protect her from Norrington. She wouldn't be brave all the time - especially if he ever cornered her like he had just days before. She was now, terrified, to be in her own city, her own house...knowing he had free roundabout over it. If Will left...he would be victorious, and she - would be destroyed. "I, I guess whatever you're doing is for your own good, right?" Or because you can't face me...... she thought to herself, stifling a sob that nearly escaped. "Excuse me. I had to clear my throat." Another blatant lie. But she couldn't tell him the truth - not of anything. She would have to do something to hide it all - but she could already hear Norrington's mouth run. Just the way Will was looking at her....oh god no. "I need to ask you something, though..." She took a breath, trying to remain composed to the best of her ability. What a task. "Have you heard any....things, lately? About myself?"

He was sure it was a plenty enough convincing charade to fool her father, but he could see the pain in her eyes. Every stifled gasp, every breathe which was a little too long and hitched her normally melodic tone, he knew she was less than alright with what he had said. But then, in that shaky voice, she could give her approval.. maybe she was set in her mind.. and heart.. he listened on, but the hope was seeping from his heart drop by drop. Whatever he was doing was good for him? She was good for him, didn't she understand that? She was the best and worst thing that had ever happened to him wrapped into one. He bit his lip as she began her inquiry to him, almost afraid of what she might ask him. What she asked, defiantly wasn't what he'd expected. Had he heard anything? About her? besides when he often caught himself musing about her while he worked in the shop.. he'd heard a lot. He'd heard about her outings and visits with Norrington. "I'm a busy man, I do not often worry myself with idle gossip... as idle women do." It wasn't spoken with enough venom as a jab, but he merely meant to point out once again how different they were. "I happen to hear a word here and there... and what one sees is hard to deny." Will digs his hands deeply into his pockets before continuing, hoping she would jump in and prove him wrong before he could finish speaking. "Mary had a tale that you'd gone to see the Captain in private, wearing the new dress she made you. Less refutable was the matching color ribbon which Norrington happened to give us a peek of from under his cuff."


She looked appalled. How could he?! After he tried to r- Elizabeth nearly broke into tears, but managed to stay strong. "Well, Will, if you believe that I would have anything to do with Norrington, you don't know me very well..." her voice barely cracked, as she was trying to be uncouth yet subtle, but the crack in her voice showed she was failing. She was ready to cry from his accusations. "I would never, I repeat NEVER, have anything to do with that scoundrel...how he got a shant of my ribbon is beyond me. Yes, I was at his office, but NOTHING...happened...have I made myself clear yet?" She said forcefully, as she turned away from him, taking a jagged breath. That son of a bitch will burn for this, she thought in vile manner, as she crossed her arms across her chest. "You're unbelievable if you even thought for one second to believe these, hideous lies." You can shut up now...she thought to herself, sighing. She was still mortified that Norrington would even try to make this as a 'conquest' to him...that he had the audacity to make this about him. After what he tried to do to her, and knowing she wouldn't say anything to contradict it in fear of Will's life being forfeit to the gallows, what could she do? "Don't even say I said anything to you in denial...though. It's for the better of everyone if they just, believe his accusations..." They're all so blind anyway...she thought with a small sigh, shaking her head a bit to clear her thoughts. Even her father was blind, and oblivious to the captain's 'imperfections'. He was so great in her father's eyes, if only he saw half of what Elizabeth saw. A monster, a bastard, a liar, a cheater, a pervert... to name a few. But what could be done? Nothing - that's what. Nothing as long as she had the horror over her head that he'd kill the one man who held her heart, if any word got out.

Will couldn't believe his ears. With one breathe, she was renouncing Norrington, and with the next breathe, she was telling him to go ahead and let the people think she was Norrington's? Couldn't she make up her mind? Or was it more fun to try and stomp his heart out as many times as possible? "You contradict yourself Elizabeth." Will tried to hide the bitterness that he felt toward her at that moment. He just wanted to know why. Why she was hiding from him suddenly, why she couldn't at least be open with him one last time. "I don't know what to think on your part anymore Elizabeth." He lowered his head in saddened shame. It was the truth though. Since they'd parted friendship, she'd taken to lying and eavesdropping and who knew what else. She seemed to be shaping up to be Norrington's perfect wife. Though that thought hurt him, he could no longer fight it with the conviction that he'd once had. Elizabeth had all but said she intended to give herself over, why should he not think she meant it? Had she given him reason? "But I have to believe.." he drew a ragged breathe, not wanting to continue. "that you would not allow your name to be sullied if this were false.." There it was out. She knew he didn't trust her, but could she blame him? "I can only hope that you and your Commodore grow to deserve each other. If nothing else, I'm sure you can have a good laugh at my expense over a nice wine." He needed to get out of this house. He needed to ignore the pale laor of Elizabeth's face and her weak demeanor. He knew this changed nothing, that Elizabeth was only trying to hurt him further. Didn't he? "If you'd be so kind, I do have important matters which I could be attending."

She couldn't believe what she was hearing. This, this was wrong. "I cannot believe you..." She said, her voice expressing pure shock. "Just go...get out..." She couldn't think of anything else to say. She was horrified by this - absolutely disgusted. Hurt. "If you knew half of what I was going through right now, you wouldn't be able to do a damned thing either, William..." She was never one to use full first names with him, unless she was genuinely upset. Here was one of those times. "You don't even KNOW what I'm going through right now, so don't even lead yourself to believe you understand, know, or can comprehend what the matter at hand is." Then came the fact of how he comment to say that they'd grow for each other? That did it. "Do you know what it's like to have someone who watched you as a child throw their self at you in sexual overtone, and pin you to their desk where you have no where to run? And then throw in your face if you speak but a breath of it they'd kill the one person you care about more than life itself?! Would you be one to protest, William?!" She was shouting now, as poor Jaquiline had no choice but to listen. Tears formed in her eyes as she listened to her keep speak. "Do you have any idea what it's like to have a soon to be Commodore, a practical king of society, whom everyone believes regardless, then look down upon the woman he speaks of so saltly, treats like a tramp even though he has nothing on that person! That's what I feel like William, a bloody tramp! So if you'd be so kind as to LEAVE...it would be pleasurable!" She shouted, as she headed to the stairs. Her tears couldn't be contained anymore - she began crying as she was going up.

Will was speechless at her confession. He couldn't believe what the words that were flowing from her lips. Was he really so blind to think that just because he had left Elizabeth alone, Norrington would suddenly become prince charming? No, it hadn't been that.. but to do the things that Elizabeth was charging on him.. even he hadn't seen it coming. The future Commodore was walking a fine line which he was about to fall from if he thought that he was going to keep silent. He didn't care if anyone believed him, he'd tell whoever would listen. This was only proof of the scoundrel he was. He'd pay.. for Elizabeth. Elizabeth. William's eyes fell upon her once more. How could he have been so insensitive toward her? so blind to the scam that Norrington was running on them all. "Elizabeth.." he squeaked softly. He had so much to wished he could say, but words just didn't seem to be enough. He still had nothing more to give Elizabeth than he had ever had, empty dreams and hollow promises. What could he honestly do to defend her? Nothing. but somehow, he knew he had to do something. "He will pay.." he muttered under his breathe softly, before turning toward the door. Head hung low, he opened it wide, wishing the stream of sunlight could somehow wash this away. "I'm so sorry Ms. Swann."