Argh! I know, I'm so late with this chapter (not that I really have a schedule, but I try to update within a few weeks when I can) This is my last week for the semester though, so next week I should have a bit more time (crosses fingers) Anyways, lots of stuff going on in this chapter. I'm so glad all of you seem to like this so much, that's part of the reason I took so long, I wanted one of the scenes just perfect and it took me two weeks to work something out.
Oh, Bird of Fire, very insightful thinking, I was hoping someone would pick up on that.
I hope you all enjoy this chapter.
Chapter Sixteen
Bryan stared distantly at Tala as he talked with one of their soldiers, not really taking notice of his physical presence, but his mental and emotional one that had been growing continually distant from Bryan's as time passed. He vaguely heard Tala telling the man to go to Forshire to see the Prophet and tell him about the scrolls and that the Five had joined up. He wasn't interested in that though. He was tying to wallow in self-pity, but kept falling deeper into a pool of guilt instead.
He didn't deserve to be pitying himself over his bonded's coldness; he deserved far worse for what he'd done. So what if Tala barely spoke to him, the actual words merely orders at that. So what if they no longer shared warmth at night. So what if the sight of his beloved now caused him despair and anguish rather than inspiring love and happiness. He'd betrayed Kai, a boy he'd helped raise, a boy he'd have done anything for, even died for, a boy he loved as sincerely as Tala … a man he could have respected and followed above all others. He deserved far worse than this.
He watched as Tala glared coldly at him and snapped something harshly to him, turning his back a moment later and walking away. He could feel the anger and barely hidden loathing vibrating along their bond.
Bryan followed along obediently, his face stone, never revealing a hint of turmoil — imaginary tears pushed back, tricks of the light casting his face into a pained expression fading. There was nothing to be seen, just a soldier following orders.
It was then re realised he'd rather have had all the tortures of the Hells placed upon him than living another moment as his soul was slowly ripped in half.
Everyone was gathered downstairs in the common room of the inn talking in hushed tones. Gary and Kevin had returned to the inn with the other four to find everything in complete chaos.
Max had been trying to keep things in order, helping out the poor worker who had been taken hostage by Tala's men earlier while helping him tidy up, offering clam, comforting words every few moments. Tyson had been talking quietly with Rei and Kai, trying to get some response from either of them, to little avail. Kai was still a mess and Rei was still in shock, though better than he had been. He was watching Tyson now and nodding every so often.
Lee surveyed the situation for a moment before taking charge of everything, much to Max and Tyson's relief. Neither was well suited to be leaders despite all their good intentions. Mariah moved straight over to fix Rei's wound while Gary, Kevin and Lee all helped Max out. Kenny and Dizzy went upstairs to make sure everything up there was all right.
"What happened?" Lee asked Max finally.
Max shook his head. "I don't know really. Rei came to get us saying something about something Kai found, then we got here and Kai was talking with a silver haired man. Rei freaked out and another man came in and things just spiraled out of control from there. Soldiers poured in and Kai was just completely out of it, not responding to anything until Rei was almost killed by the red-haired man who had just arrived." Max looked over at the tableau of the four in the centre of the room biting his lip in worry. "It was something very serious that happened, Kai completely broke down."
Lee's eyes widened. "Kai?" Max nodded and he moved over to the centre of the room.
"Is Rei all right?" he asked Mariah quietly.
"I'm fine," Rei responded himself. He looked pale and completely shaken up, but better than he had just moments before. His eyes were still trained on Kai who was clutching onto his shirt tightly, his face buried in Rei's chest. "He's not," he whispered.
Lee nodded. "Let's get him upstairs." He nodded to Tyson who moved in. Rei tried to disentangle himself from Kai, but the older boy's grip was not loosening. He looked down at Kai to see him shaking slightly.
"Kai?" Rei questioned quietly.
Kai just shook his head. "Can't," he whispered.
"Can't what Kai?" Rei asked. Kai just shook his head again and tightened his grip. Rei looked up at the two helplessly. Tyson was staring at Kai in shock, he'd never seen the other man like this before, it unnerved him more than he thought anything else could. "I don't think he'll let go," Rei told them. "But I don't think I can get him up the stairs."
"Well we can't just leave him here like this," Tyson argued.
"I'll try to …" As Rei moved himself slightly, shifting out of Kai's grip, he felt the boy start to panic. "Kai?" he called out
"Don't," he whimpered as Rei still tried to disentangle himself. "No!" Rei caught Kai's hands in his own as he tried to pull Rei back. Kai looked up and Rei saw tears standing in those pained eyes. "Rei!"
"I'm not going anywhere Kai," Rei assured him as he struggled. "We're just getting you upstairs."
"No!" Kai broke free of his grip and threw his arms around Rei's neck.
Rei winced slightly as he pressed up against his wound then sighed, realizing he would not win this. He brought one of his hands up to Kai's cheek and rested it there comfortingly. "All right, we'll stay for a bit." He winced at the patronizing way he sounded, but Kai seemed to take a bit of comfort in it and relaxed slightly. He had to have been very shaken up not to even care that he was being treated like a fragile four-year-old. This scared the rest of them so much, seeing their leader so broken.
Rei ignored the others and pushed back his own frantic thoughts as he continued to comfort Kai, gently stroking his cheek. He felt the grip around his neck loosen even more as the minutes passed and he glanced down worriedly to find that Kai's breathing was shallow and even and his eyes were shut. He glanced up at Lee in surprise.
"Um, I think he's sleeping."
Lee and Tyson exchanged confused looks. "I'll just get Gary then," Lee mumbled before moving over to the large man.
"Asleep?" Tyson asked in disbelief.
"Yeah."
"Right. How did you manage that? He was so … " Tyson tried to search for the right word, not really wanting to associate the word 'unbalanced' with Kai, but Rei nodded in understanding.
"Yeah, I know, but I don't know how it happened. He may have just exhausted himself."
"Maybe." Tyson eyed Rei curiously before he turned away, looking at Lee and Gary as they approached. Gary scooped Kai up into his arms without resistance and headed upstairs with Rei and Lee following behind.
"I'll look after him," Rei murmured to Lee, who nodded, knowing that Rei was probably the only one that Kai would want to see and wouldn't be so disturbed by. Gary and Lee left Kai and Rei alone in the room and moved back down to the others to try and restore some semblance of order to their small group.
The food that Mariah had brought up for them both had grown cold long before and the light from outside that warmed the room had disappeared a few hours ago. The others were all staying in the other rooms, wanting to leave Kai and Rei in peace, but Rei was slowly becoming more tense and worried.
Kai hadn't moved in all that time. He'd always been a light sleeper but he never even stirred when Rei touched him gently on the shoulder for dinner. Rei wished that he, or someone, knew what to do. The others were as helpless as he was, perhaps more so, but he stuck by, hoping that Kai would at least sense his presence near and stay calm.
Sighing, Rei leaned his head down on the bed beside Kai, feeling exhausted from everything that had happened that day. The events were running through his head over and over again. The fight with Falcon and Wolf, Kai falling apart, Kai kissing him …
Rei looked at Kai, biting his lip. With a quick thought, he leaned over and swiftly pressed his lips to Kai's. "Be strong Kai," he whispered as he leaned back. "I'll still be here to help you, I won't leave." He got up and moved in behind Kai to sleep, curling his arms around Kai to make sure he was safe. Yet for some reason, he could not sleep. He found himself just watching Kai, the way his body moved slightly as he breathed evenly, absorbing the sight of the way the shadows played across him. It was heartbreakingly beautiful and Rei clutched him tighter in despair, wondering how something like this could happen to Kai.
"The last time I was held like this was five years ago."
Rei's head shot up and he maneuvered himself around so he could see Kai's face. He hadn't felt any change in his breathing pattern and his eyes weren't open, but the soft expression on his face was too consciously made. Kai gripped Rei's hands as they tried to move away.
"Don't." He leaned back closer to Rei, opening his eyes slightly. "Just for a little bit I want to stay like this."
Rei started at him in surprise, then nodded, spooning himself against Kai and wrapping his arms completely around him. "Five years is a long time to go without affection."
"Try any human contact whatsoever."
"That's worse. You're amazing, I cannot see how anyone could do that and stay sane."
"It takes a lot of willpower I think. I just had to remember that there was a reason for it all and that there were people who wanted me around." He shifted slightly. "I guess I only have one of those reasons left now. There was a reason for my training, but I don't think that duty is enough to keep me sane."
"We all want you around Kai, I don't think any of us would know what to do if you left," Rei assured him, trying to convince him that his presence was needed. The idea that Kai might leave them frightened him badly.
"I know," Kai replied softly. "But before, I never knew any of you, all I had in the world was them." Rei nodded. Having one of the safe-holds in his world completely torn away would have left Kai a wreck, Rei understood a bit better now how much Bryan and Tala meant to Kai.
"Well, though it's not as much compensation as your old guardians, you should at least know you have all of us here for you."
"You as well?"
Rei frowned. "Of course. I'd like to think me above anyone else, I won't leave you Kai."
Kai turned around with an accusing gaze. "Then why do you continually refuse me?"
Rei stared at him in shock. "What? I've never refused you."
"You deny yourself, thus you deny me. You deny all of us, everything we do."
"I don't …" Rei frowned, realising what he was talking about. "Kai, whether or not I'm Earth doesn't matter right now, I'll always be here for you if I'm a Power or not."
Kai looked away. "But you have to understand."
"Understand what?"
"Everything."
"That's not so easy to do Kai. I doubt the oldest mage in the world could understand everything."
"Then can't you at least try and understand me?" Kai pleaded.
Rei's eyes widened and he pulled away slightly, enough so that he could look at Kai properly. His gaze narrowed thoughtfully as he studied the other boy. "Just what do you want then Kai?"
Kai snorted and looked away. "I'm not answering so simple a question, when the answer should be obvious to you above all people Rei."
Rei frowned. "Call me completely oblivious then."
Kai sighed and closed his eyes. Rei was close enough to him to realise he was trying to hold back tears. "I guess you still don't understand then," he whispered.
"Kai …" Rei didn't know what to do. Things seemed so much worse now with Kai drawing away so suddenly. Just what did he want of Rei, what was he supposed to do to help? "What should I do? Help me understand."
Kai opened his eyes again and studied Rei closely. "Just what do you want here then? If you don't think you're Earth, why are you here, why follow me?"
Rei frowned. "I want to help you."
"You only came before because I made you, I told you they might find you and kill you."
"That wasn't the reason I came with you," Rei answered quickly.
"What was it then?"
"I wanted to come, I … had nowhere else to be I guess."
"Really?"
"Kai, the place I'd just left had been my home for five years, if I couldn't return there, where else could I have gone? There was nothing for me, and even if it was just to travel with you on a whim at first, I found that I was enjoying myself, despite all the danger. I wouldn't have just left you all if I could have been any help down the road, we were partners."
"So you only decided to travel with me on a whim?" Kai asked quietly.
"At first. When I met you, there was just this feeling I got."
"Had I not come along that road would you have traveled with anyone else?"
Rei frowned. "Why do you ask?"
"It's important," Kai insisted.
"Then no, probably not."
"Why me then?"
"I ... I just …" Rei looked away. "I don't know." He shook his head furiously. "Why are you asking me all of this?" he snapped.
"I'm trying to help you understand."
Rei glared at him and Kai turned his head away from the sharp look. "It's not helping much."
"You're just being stubbourn," Kai snapped at him, getting irritated himself. "Just why the hell are you still staying here if you don't believe in any of this? The White Tigers are only here because of you and the others all know what they have to do, if you don't think you belong with us, why are you here?"
"You don't want me here?" Rei asked quietly.
Kai froze and completely turned away from him. "Do you want to be here?" he whispered.
"Yes," Rei answered instantly.
"Why?"
"Because of you."
"What about me? You said you want to help me, is that all? To think yourself some small bit of help with my journey?"
"I don't want to be just a small part of your journey," Rei answered, a bit hurt by the comment. "I'd like to think that I was something more than just a passing stranger who helped you out with something minor."
"But you don't want to be Earth? To surrender yourself to the fact that you might be so completely intertwined in this mess, with the rest of us … with me."
"Just why is this a big deal for you?" Rei growled, frustration filling his being. "Does it really matter to you whether or not I'm Earth? Why should it be such a big deal if I say I'm not?"
"With that sort of attitude you will never be able to understand why this is so important to me," Kai informed him quietly as he broke Rei's hold on him and slipped out of the bed. "You can either be my saviour or my destroyer. When you finally start to understand just what Earth is to Fire then you will be able to understand just why this is so important to me and just how you fit into my destiny."
Rei shivered from the cold that had seeped into the bed in just those few seconds that Kai had drawn away from him. "I want to fit into your destiny Kai," Rei told him.
Kai sighed and leaned against the wall, looking out the window. "Then try to understand." He turned his gaze to Rei again. "Please Rei, I want you to understand."
Rei nodded and got up and moved over to him. "Just what is Earth to Fire then?"
Kai smiled. "Everything."
Rei blinked then returned the smile, shifting closer. "You were once saying that Earth is both Fire's strength and weakness. How?"
"It depends on Earth."
Rei bit his lip, thinking hard. "Hypothetically, if I were Earth, what am I now?"
Kai looked down. "My weakness … my destroyer."
Rei nodded sadly. "Earth and Fire are linked, right?" Kai nodded and Rei swallowed, feeling his throat tighten slightly as insight into the situation started to come to him. "How are they linked?"
Kai shrugged. "Again, that will depend on Earth. I already know what I want, but to just be near you …" he trailed off and Rei almost took a step back as he realised Kai was blushing slightly. "But then, this is all hypothetically of course," he added bitterly.
Rei nodded again. "So, hypothetically, to become your saviour and your strength, I need to establish the link between us." Kai nodded again, still avoiding Rei's eyes. "To do that I need to understand just how deep the relationship between us can go then." Kai's breathing almost stopped then, coming out in jagged gasps as Rei gently held his shoulders then trailed his fingers down his sides to rest finally on his hips. He didn't dare look into Rei's curious eyes, it would give everything away.
"You seem so sure that I'm Earth," Rei whispered close to Kai's ear. "Just why is that? Do you already know something I don't?" Kai didn't answer this time, he just tried to hold his emotions at bay. Rei attempted to capture his gaze again, but Kai closed his eyes, aware that he was trapped against the wall by Rei, his defenses almost completely gone and all of his thoughts open for the neko-jin to read.
"You already understand your side of the link … you know just how deep the relationship is and it scares you to think that you might lose it … right? Because if you lose it, you'll be destroyed." Rei sounded desperate. Kai opened his eyes to see Rei leaning close, looking scared himself. He understood, like Kai, that this was the final crossroad. Everything was riding on his decision.
"So just what am I to you Kai?" he breathed.
Kai licked his lips and stared right into Rei's eyes as he answered.
"Everything."
Rei didn't hesitate. As soon as he heard that soft admission he leaned in immediately and pressed his lips against Kai's in a passionate, desperate kiss. Kai pushed back against him just as eagerly, clinging to him tightly. Their intense feelings passed through the physical contact, heightening their frenzied actions. Rei pressed Kai back against the wall again, deepening the kiss as Kai tangled his hands in Rei's hair, tugging him even closer, accepting him completely.
Their actions slowed slightly and Rei broke away, panting silently. Kai gulped in huge gasps of air. Both were flushed in the faces and their eyes were glazed with emotion and passion.
Rei chuckled softly as he watched Kai still getting his breath back. "You could have just done that earlier or said 'I love you', it would have made things so much easier."
Kai smiled and shook his head. "Would you have believed me, or have been ready for something like that?" Rei smiled sheepishly and Kai shook his head wryly. "Exactly. We both had to know just what to expect."
Rei sighed happily and nestled his face against the crook of Kai's neck. "I suppose being Earth isn't so bad now that I know what the benefits are."
Kai nodded, tangling his hand in Rei's hair again. "We don't have to be lovers you know," he said quietly. Rei stiffened at this and Kai explained. "The fact that you are Earth and I am Fire doesn't automatically mean we have to get so physically involved … though I am hoping something like that." He blushed slightly and Rei smiled, relaxing again.
"So this is sort of like the most ideal situation for us, not necessarily the only option?"
Kai nodded. "It's the deepest possible link we can have, which means our bond will be stronger, but the risks of danger are also higher if something were to happen."
Rei thought this through and straightened so he was looking eye-to-eye with Kai again. "I'm willing to risk it," he affirmed quietly, kissing him softly. "And I'm your strength now, right?"
Kai laughed softly as he nodded. "I pity anyone who would try to separate us now."
Rei laughed as well. "So do I." He was silent for a while, leaning relaxed back into Kai's touch as he thought contentedly about his situation. "Kai?" he murmured.
"Yes?"
"Did you always want this sort of link with me? Before you knew who I was, I mean."
Kai shook his head. "That was one of my first questions for Dranzer. I don't think I started to seriously consider this until I actually found out who you were. When I first met you I was intrigued … I already suspected something and wanted to keep you around, but when I saw the Drigger blade and put things together all I started to think about was you. Earth does hold the fate of Fire in his hands after all. Even before I knew who you were I never wanted you to leave."
Rei smiled and kissed Kai again, not as passionately as the first time, but it still left them both breathless. "I think I started to love you when I first saw you, I don't think I knew that for a while, but why else would I go with you so suddenly?" He smiled and kissed Kai softly again, trailing kisses down to his neck.
"You've always been a bit strange," Kai taunted softly. He gasped slightly as Rei bit into his skin. "Hey, watch the fangs," he muttered, though the sensation wasn't totally unpleasant for him. Rei must have heard the dual tones in his voice and continued with his ministrations, making Kai squirm slightly against him.
"Rei," Kai mumbled, his tone warring between warning and urging.
Rei leaned back and smiled at him. He released his hold on Kai's waist and grabbed his hand instead. "Come on," he tugged Kai towards the bed. "You seem a bit shaky." Kai flushed darkly and growled as Rei laughed teasingly at him. "Don't worry," he whispered against Kai's neck as he pushed him against the bed and lay atop him, "I'll keep you safe and make sure you don't fall down."
Kai grabbed his neck and pulled him down for a deep sensual kiss. "You can start now," he breathed as they broke apart. "Don't ever let me go, Rei.
"Never," he assured him. "You're mine forever Kai."
"Good." Kai brought Rei down for another soul-binding kiss.
AN: So … was it worth the wait?
You see my problem with the scene though? I wanted that last scene between Rei and Kai just perfect and I'm still wondering if I could have done more, but too much would be overdoing it in my opinion. Need more to work with in the future. I wanted to add more to this chapter, but it's long enough as it is and I think right here is a good stopping point … all nice and fluffy (haven't had that for a while, it's all been drama and angst. I'm sure you're all appreciative of the change)
Anyways, hope everyone enjoyed that.
Until next time.