Hello again! I love this I cant stop! Bleh! And I have an exam on Tuesday so I really must stop! Ok last chapter for a while now as I have to revise! Yes I will revise! Oh! Who am I kidding?!

I AM COW HEAR ME MOO - Monty Python freaky? My dear that is what Python is all about!! Hehe! Though The Holy Grail is defiantly not freakiest one they've made! You want freaky watch The Meaning of Life! Strange and wonderful!! Thanks for the review!!

Star-of-Chaos - Wow Thanks! Im actually quite proud cause I read your stories and I think they're awesome! Especially Starting Today! Wow! OH! And might I add that I have had that part picked out for Remy since I started! Why else would I make Scott King Arthur?! Hehe! Thanks!

SweetRevenge151 - Hey Wow thanks!! I love your fic too! Wow arnt I doing well! lol! 2 of my fav author people actually telling me I'm good! Talk about an ego boost! Thanks so much!!!

Disclaimer: Oh what I'd give to own either of these! Then I would be rich and not have to revise for stupid exams! Maybe I should make my own stupid film in true Python fashion and make MILLIONS!!!!……………nah didn't think so either!

~~~***~~~

Scott continued his journey to find knights to join him. His journey was taking him to a village not too far away where he knew a knight lived, though to get there he had to ride through a forest. Whilst riding through the forest he came across two brave knights fighting, both were wearing helmets so the only way to distinguish them was that one was wearing green and the other was wearing black.

The two continued to fight as the Green knight brought down his sword towards the Black knights head though he blocked it with his sword. Once he had blocked the Green knights sword he knocked the Green knight to the floor and proceeded to stab him, though the Green knight rolled away before he struck. Hitting swords together once more they both deflect all the moves until the Black knight kicked the Green knight in the crotch. This caused the Green knight to kneel in pain and drop his sword giving the Black knight an opening to hit him on the head with his sword though once again the Green knight moved to the side before he has chance to hit.

Getting up the Green knight swiped at the Black knight with his fists knocking him to the ground, where he rolled onto his back. Whilst the Black knight was on the floor the Green knight took full advantage and ran towards him with a spiked ball and chain. Though he missed him and the Black knight grabbed his wrists and flipped him over his head. Getting up quickly the Green knight went for the Black knight once more but instead of moving the Black knight used his sword to deflect the attack as the chain wrapped around the sword.

Using the advantage the Black knight flipped the Green knight to the side and jumped up off the floor. Turning he saw the Green knight run towards him holding an axe high above his head whilst screaming at the top of his voice. Watching the Green knight lazily the Black knight threw his sword straight towards him and his sword went straight through his helmet killing him instantly. Taking his sword out of the Green Knights head the Black knight went and stood in front of the bridge once more with his sword in the ground in front of him and his hands on the sword handle.

Impressed with what he just saw Scott 'rode' towards the knight and came to a halt in front of him.

"You fight with the strength of many men, Sir Knight."

The knight didn't move or make a sound so Scott tried again.

"I am Scott, King of the Bayvillian's."

More silence.

"I seek the finest and the bravest knights in the land to join me in my court at Camelot."

Still no answer, only silence.

"You have proved yourself worthy. Will you join me?"

More silence, getting annoyed and a little confused Scott decided to give up.

"You make me sad. So be it. Come, Toad"

As they went to pass however the Black knight began to speak stopping them and taking them by surprise.

"None shall pass."

"What?" Scott asked confused.

"None shall pass." He repeated again.

"I have no quarrel with you, good Sir Knight, but I must cross this bridge."

"Then you shall die."

"I command you, as King of the Bayvillian's, to stand aside!"

"I move" He looked towards Toad "for no man"

"So be it!"

Drawing his sword Scott moved back as the Black knight picked up his sword. As the Black knight attacked Scott evaded him numerous times as the knight could not strike him. That is until the Black knight charged towards Scott in anger, watching him Scott moved to the side and chopped off his arm as he went past.

"Now stand aside, worthy adversary."

"'Tis but a scratch." The knight stated still stood in front of the path that Scott wished to use.


"A scratch? Your arm's off!"

"No, it isn't."

"Well, what's that, then?" Scott said whilst pointing to what was clearly the knights severed arm on the floor. Looking at it the knight merely shrugged.

"I've had worse."

"You liar!"


"Come on, you pansy!"

Charging straight towards Scott once more with his sword the Black knight once more began to attack him, though Scott easily blocked and evaded the attacks.

"Aaaaaaaah!" Running towards him once more the Black knight missed Scott who sidestepped out the way and chopped off the knights other arm as he passed.

"Victory is mine!" Kneeling on the ground Scott began to pray in thankfulness. "We thank Thee Lord, that in Thy mer--"

Though he was quickly interrupted by the Black knight once more as he ran towards him and kicked him in the head..

"Hah!" The Black knight kicked Scott again as he tried to get up. "Come on, then"

"What?"

"Have at you!" The knight kicked him again and this time Scott stood up in irritation.

"Eh. You are indeed brave, Sir Knight, but the fight is mine."

"Oh, had enough, eh?" He Evanbed up and down in front of Scott in a very boxer like manner, baiting Scott to get him.

"Look, you stupid bastard. You've got no arms left."

"Yes, I have."

"Look!"

"Just a flesh wound." He jumped forward again and kicked Scott's leg once more.

"Look, stop that."

"Chicken!" He kicked Scott again "Chicken! Chicken!"

"Look, I'll have your leg." Scott threatened as he became extremely annoyed at the knight. Though it was ignored as he kicked Scott's leg again. "Right!" Picking up his sword Scott cut off the Black knights leg as he went to kick him again.

"Right. I'll do you for that!" The knight stated hopping about in front of Scott on one leg.

"You'll what?"

"Come here!"

"What are you going to do, bleed on me?"

"I'm invincible!" The knight hopped head first into Scott trying to hurt him, though Scott just scoffed in irritation.

"You're a looney."

"The Black Knight always triumphs! Have at you!" He begins to hop towards Scott again "Come on, then!"

In annoyance Scott just took his sword again and chopped of the knights other leg off leaving him as a body on the floor.

"Oh?" The knight looked around at his arms and legs, or lack of and then looked up to Scott who was putting his sword away. "All right, we'll call it a draw"

"Come, Toad."

Toad came out from behind a tree where he had been hiding and began with the coconuts as Scott began to 'ride' away leaving the knight on the floor who was trying to watch them leave.

"Oh. Oh, I see. Running away, eh? You yellow bastards! Come back here and take what's coming to you. I'll bite your legs off!"

~~~

Walking through a village not far from where King Scott was last seen, a line of monks walked through the street chanting. Unlike the mud village this one had the street that was covered in straw and is clean and the inhabitants are healthy people working away.

"Pie Iesu domine, dona eis requiem."

As they finished chanting the line they hit themselves over the head sharply with a plank of wood that had a cross painted on the front of it.

"Pie Iesu domine,…" They hit themselves again "...dona eis requiem"

Continuing with the chanting and hitting themselves on the head the monks walked through the streets and were passed by a huge crowd who were screaming at the tops of their lungs.

"A witch! A witch! A witch! A witch! A witch! A witch! A witch! A witch! We've found a witch! A witch! A witch! A witch! A witch! We've got a witch! A witch! A witch! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! We've found a witch! We've found a witch! A witch! A witch! A witch!"

Dragging a young women who had white hair and crystal blue eyes {AN: yes its Ororo sorry but there are hardly any women parts in this so I thought id be fun, well apart from the fact she burns}, dressed in cloaks and had a turnip on her nose and a funnel tied to her head was pushed towards a platform where a knight stood tying a coconut on a piece of string to a dove and watching it fly away. Turning he was confronted by the villagers and one stepped forward bravely.

"We have found a witch. May we burn her?"

"Burn her! Burn! Burn her! Burn her!" The crowd began to scream.

"How do you know she is a witch?" The knight asked.

"She looks like one." Another villager spoke up.

"Right! Yeah! Yeah!" The crowd began to scream once more.

"Bring her forward." the knight asked and the villagers shoved the beautiful young women forward.

"I'm not a witch. I'm not a witch."

"Uh, but you are dressed as one." The knight stated whilst looking her up and down.

"They dressed me up like this." She said pointing at the crowd.

"Augh, we didn't! We didn't…" the villagers began shouting.

"And this isn't my nose. It's a false one"

Looking at the 'nose' he lifted up off her nose to see that it was in fact a fake nose. Placing it back into place he once again addressed the villagers.

"Well?"

"Well, we did do the nose." The first villager reluctantly admitted.

"The nose?"

"And the hat," he replied reluctantly again "but she is a witch!"

"We burn her! Right! Yeaaah! Yeaah!" The crowd began to scream again.

"Did you dress her up like this?"

"No!" The first villager {okay to avoid confusion we shall call him Evan} shouted.

"No. No." Two more villagers {we'll call them Fred and Ray} stated whilst shaking their heads.

"No" Ray said whilst shaking his head still.

"No" Evan said again.

"No" Fred and Ray continued to deny, though it was getting obvious they were lying.

"Yes." Evan said guiltily.

"Yes." Said Ray also.

"Yes. Yeah, a bit." Said Fred getting quieter.

"A bit"

"A bit."

"A bit."

"She has got a wart." Evan shouted in accusation pointing at her face.

"What makes you think she is a witch?" The knight asked patiently, like a teacher talking to his class.

"Well, she turned me into a newt!" Ray said loudly causing everyone to stare at him as he was clearly not a newt.

"A newt?" The knight asked confused.

"I got better" He muttered in embarrassment after a long pause.

"Burn her anyway!" Fred yelled loudly and the villagers joined him in shouting.

"Burn her! Burn! Burn her!…"

"Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! There are ways of telling whether she is a witch"

"Are there?" Asked Evan "What are they?"

"Tell us! Tell us!…" The villagers shouted once more.

"Tell me. What do you do with witches?"

"Burn!" Evan shouted

"Burn!" Ray shouted

"Burn! Burn them up! Burn!…" The crowd shouted.

"And what do you burn apart from witches?"

"More witches!" Evan shouted quickly

"Shh!" Fred told Evan sharply, there was silence for a second until Ray spoke up.

"Wood!"

"So, why do witches burn?"

The villagers pause for a long while in confusion as they thought, until Ray spoke up unsurely.

"B--... 'cause they're made of... Wood?"

"Good! Heh heh."

"Oh, yeah. Oh" Ray looked very proud as the answer dawned on the villagers.

"So, how do we tell whether she is made of wood?"

"Build a bridge out of her." Evan stated proudly.

"Ah, but can you not also make bridges out of stone?"

"Oh, yeah."

"Does wood sink in water?"

"No. No." Evan said shaking his head.

"No, it floats! It floats!" Fred said confidently.

"Throw her into the pond!!" Evan shouted quickly.

"The pond! Throw her into the pond!" The crowd chanted.

"What also floats in water?"

"Bread!" Evan shouted loudly.

"Apples!" Ray shouted guessing.

"Uh, very small rocks!" Fred shouted.

"Cider!" Evan guessed again.

"Uh, gra-- gravy!" Ray guessed again.

"Cherries!"

"Mud!"

"Uh, churches! Churches!"

"Lead! Lead!"

"A duck!" Everyone in the crowd and the knight turned to see who spoke, and saw Scott stood proudly to the side with Toad at his side, causing the crowd to "Ooooo"

"Exactly. So, logically….." He turned back towards the crowd once more.

"If... she... weighs... the same as a duck,... she's made of wood." Evan stated slowly as he thought long and hard about it.

"And therefore?" the knight prompted.

"A witch!" Ray shouted.

"A witch! A witch!…" The crowd started shouting in glee. A random villager ran off and returned seconds later holding a duck in the air.

"Here is a duck. Use this duck."

"Very good. We shall use my largest scales." The knight said jumping down from the platform and lead the villagers towards his scales, with the crowd dragging poor Ororo shouting.

"Ohh! Ohh! Burn the witch! Burn the witch! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Ahh! Ahh…"

The knight lead the villagers towards two hanging seats that were attached to each other with a rope on a pulley. The villagers placed the duck on one seat and placed Ororo on the other.

"Right. Remove the supports!"

The knight shouted and watched as Evan and Ray took up two giant mallets and hit the logs that were holding the seats in place away. They crowd all watched in anticipation as Ororo's seat went down. However seconds later it came straight back up and levelled out with the duck.

"A witch! A witch! A witch!" The crowd screamed gleefully.

"It's a fair cop." Ororo stated as she was pulled from the seat by Evan and Ray.

"Burn her!" Ray screamed and began leading her down the hill followed by the crowd screaming "Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! Burn! Burn!…"

Watching the crowd take Ororo away Scott walked over towards the knight to talk to him.

"Who are you who are so wise in the ways of science?" The knight asked.

"I am Scott, King of the Bayvillian's."

Hearing this the knight instantly knelt down in respect for the King.

"My liege!"

"Good Sir Knight, will you come with me to Camelot and join us at the Round Table?"

"My liege! I would be honoured."

"What is your name?"

"'Forgevere', my liege."

"Then I dub you 'Sir Forgevere, Knight of the Round Table'." Scott stated knighting Forgevere who still knelt in front of him.

~~~

The wise Sir Forgevere was the first to join King Scott's knights, but other illustrious names were soon to follow: Sir Lancelot the Brave, Sir Loganad the Pure, and Sir Pyro the- not- quite- so- brave- as- Sir- Lancelot, who had nearly fought the Dragon of Angnor, who had nearly stood up to the vicious Chicken of Bristol, and who had personally wet himself at the Battle of Badon Hill, and the aptly named Sir Not- appearing- in- this- fic.

Together they formed a band whose names and deeds were to be retold throughout the centuries: the Knights of the Round Table.

~~~

All of the knights of the round table were 'riding' towards Camelot. They had been riding for a while and Sir Forgevere was explaining many inventions to Scott who found it all fascinating.

"And that, my liege, is how we know the earth to be banana-shaped."

"This new learning amazes me, Sir Forgevere. Explain again how sheep's bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes."

"Oh, certainly, sir."

"Look, my liege!" Sir Lancelot interrupted their conversation and pointed up towards a castle that was sat on the hill in front of them grandly.

"Camelot!" Scott said proudly.

"Camelot!" Loganad said proudly.

"Camelot!" Lancelot said proudly.

"It's only a model." Stated Toad quietly.

"Shh!" Scott scolded Toad and then turned back to his knights once more. "Knights, I bid you welcome to your new home. Let us ride... to... Camelot!"

~~~

Inside the main hall of Camelot were a group of knights dressed in white and black and all wearing helmets. As well as the knights were many servants and men who loved there, and of course in the spirit they all broke out in to song and dance.

"We're Knights of the Round Table.

We dance whene'er we're able.

We do routines and chorus scenes

With footwork impeccable.

We dine well here in Camelot.

We eat ham and jam and spam a lot."

The knights jumped onto a table and continued dancing in a line and ended up doing the can-can and kicked a passing servant in the head, though they paid no heed and continued to dance and sing.

"We're Knights of the Round Table.

Our shows are formidable,

But many times we're given rhymes

That are quite unsingable.

We're opera mad in Camelot

We sing from the diaphragm a lot."

In the main hall the song continued. It was so loud that a prisoner in the dungeon joined in himself by clapping along with the music. Though it was quite hard since he was chained to the wall. The knights oblivious continued to sing and dance and ended up tap dancing on the tables whilst another played the helmets in time with the music with spoons, ending by hitting a randomly passing servant on the head causing them to fall over.

"In war we're tough and able,

Quite indefatigable.

Between our quests we sequin vests and impersonate Clark Gable.

It's a busy life in Camelot."

Everyone stops and one man steps forward proudly singing a very low bass line.

"I have to push the pram a lot."

After pausing for a second the knights and men continue to dance away in glee until the song ends.

~~~

Back outside the castle still looking at Castle Camelot Scott turned around to the rest of his knights uncertainty.

"Well, on second thought, let's not go to Camelot. It is a silly place."

"Right. Right."

All the knights reply and they all turn around and begin to 'ride' off, away from Camelot.