Maybe I should buy seaQuest... or maybe I'll just have to keep writing
disclaimers. Yeah, that'd be cheaper. OK, seaQuest and its characters are
not mine.
Dah-da-da-daaah! da-da-da-da-da-dah-da-da-dah-dah-dah-dah-da-da-dah-dah-dah- dah-da-da-daaaah! Dah-dah-dah-daaah (dah-da-da-daaah) dah-dah-dah-daaah (dah-da-da-daaah) dah-dah-dah-daaaaaah! 20th Century Refur presents: the Reviewers! A film starring lo, sara, kas7, Pheniox-Skye, Mar, pari106, Diena and Zoe. Based on a true story.
Sigh...OK guys, I know you hate Bridger, but I'm afraid it's too late to change him now, and he's in this chapter quite a lot, so grit your teeth....
Pro Patria Mori
Chapter 15
"How dare he?!" Robert paced the floor of the narrow cell, gesticulating wildly. Lucas sat quietly on the bed and watched him.
"He thinks he can just run everyone's lives! How could he do this to you? What did you ever do to him?"
Robert reached the wall, turned, and glared angrily at Lucas. Lucas met his gaze coolly.
"I tried to steal his boat. I tried to kill his crew. I took his only child hostage," he counted off.
"That was different!" Robert exploded. "That was before! Things are different now!"
Lucas didn't drop his gaze. "If I were him," he said calmly, "I would never have let me out in the first place."
Robert shook his head. "You don't mean that."
"Yes, I do." Lucas' voice betrayed no emotion. "Your father is a soldier, Robert. He doesn't see me as a poor little orphan who's had a difficult life. He sees me as an enemy combatant, highly trained and capable of anything. And he's right."
"How can you say that?" Robert cried angrily. "You wouldn't do anything to endanger this boat!"
"If it wasn't for that bullet, we would all be dead, and this boat would be in the hands of the Alliance of Free Nations."
"But that was before! You're UEO now! You wouldn't do anything like that now?" Robert's voice was almost plaintive. Lucas didn't answer; his face was like stone.
"But you're my friend," Robert almost whispered. Lucas shrugged.
"Friendship is just a word. War is the only reality."
For a moment Robert stood, speechless. Then his face twisted in rage. "You're wrong, and my father's wrong," he said bitterly. "But he's not going to get away with it that easily." And with that, he stormed out of the cell, slamming the door shut with a clang.
Lucas watched him go, then closed his eyes and concentrated on breathing slowly. He knew what the captain wanted. He understood. And he could deal with it, could deal with being separated from the crew, from Robert, if it meant a few more precious days before the choice came. What he had said to Robert was half true: war was the only reality, and he had been hiding from reality for too long, living this charmed life. Now reality had brought him back down to earth with a crunch.
So this is it, he thought. Soon it will be time. Time to choose: pain and death, or shame and emptiness. Maybe all four. For only the second time in his life, he could see no way out. And, as before, when he had sat in a ventilation shaft waiting for the air to run out, he knew that all he could do was resign himself to his fate, and be grateful that he had survived as long as he had. But if he could stave off the final moment for a few more days, then he would.
But when the choice finally came, it was not how he had expected it.
Bridger stood up when he heard the furious knocking on his door, and drew a deep breath. Time for the storm. Just don't alienate the boy, he thought. He knew that Robert could grow to hate him over this issue, and he couldn't bear that thought. I'm doing this for your own good, Robbie, he thought sadly. I just wish you could see that.
Robert blew in like a hurricane, eyes flashing. Before he could even open his mouth, Bridger raised a hand.
"I'm glad you're here, Robert. There's something I want to discuss with you."
Robert didn't miss a beat. "Yeah, well, there's something I want to talk to you about as well," he said, and before Bridger could interrupt, he was in full flow. Bridger listened patiently as Robert accused him of everything under the sun. With every word from the boy's mouth his heart grew heavier. How did I come to be such a stranger to my own son? he wondered. Having him on seaQuest was supposed to bring us together. Instead, it seems we've never been so far apart. Well, it was time to change that. He would win his son back.
"I understand that you're fond of this man, but I am still the captain of this boat and he is still my prisoner. I am not going to negotiate the terms of his confinement with you." Robert opened his mouth, two spots of high colour showing on his cheekbones, but Bridger raised his hand again. "You've said your piece, now let me say mine. It occurs to me that you have too much free time on your hands. We're on our way to an abandoned uranium mine the UEO wants to reactivate. I want you to lead the mission."
Robert's mouth dropped open and his eyes grew round. Bridger knew that, for now at least, he had won.
The next day, Robert did not come. Lucas had expected that he would not, and yet he found himself waiting for that soft knock on the door, found himself feeling forgotten and disappointed. You've let yourself get too close to him, to all of them. He knew it was true. He shouldn't have let his emotions lead him. Now it was going to be even harder to let go.
He didn't have the energy even to work on the vocorder design. Instead, he spent most of the day lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling as the long minutes ticked by. When night finally came, he couldn't sleep. Once more he had the feeling of a giant hammer poised above, ready to come crashing down.
But the day after, Robert came. He breezed in cheerfully, as if nothing had happened. Lucas stared at him, concentrating through force of habit on keeping his confusion from showing on his face. He responded as normal when Robert chattered away to him about events on the boat, and it wasn't until they were at the moon pool, just as Lucas was screwing himself up to ask what the hell was going on, that Robert turned to him, grinning.
"Guess what?" he said.
Lucas was in no mood for games. He raised an eyebrow. Robert's grin grew wider.
"I'm going to lead a mission," he said happily.
Lucas frowned. "What mission?" he asked, surprised.
"There's this old uranium mine that the UEO wants to reactivate. I'm going to lead the mission to claim the territory it's on."
Lucas' frown deepened. "Who does the territory belong to now?" he asked, suspiciously.
Robert grin faded slightly, and he looked a little embarrassed. "The Free Nations. But," he added quickly, "they've abandoned it. There's been no sign of life in the area for weeks."
Lucas had looked up sharply when he heard the name of his confederation. Now he shook his head vehemently. "Don't go," he said.
Robert stared at him, surprised by the emotion in his tone. "What are you talking about? It'll be a piece of cake."
Lucas looked Robert straight in the eyes. "I've got a bad feeling about this, Robert. Don't go."
Robert was no longer smiling. He looked angry now. "Are you afraid you'll finally have to treat me as an equal?" he asked softly.
"What?" Now it was Lucas' turn to be surprised.
"Oh, come on! I'm almost ten years older than you Lucas! You think you're this great soldier, but you're just a child. What gives you the right to tell me not to go on this mission? You don't want to have to respect me?"
Lucas stared at him, and his eyes grew cold and hard. "You haven't listened to a word I've said to you, have you?" he said, his voice dangerously soft. "War isn't about respect. It isn't about glory, or triumph, or victory. It's about death. Whether it comes quickly or slow and painful, down in the dirt, that's all war is. Death. It's time you grew up and realised that."
Robert looked like he'd been slapped. His face grew mutinous. "Oh yeah? How come you're still alive then?"
"I've been lucky," Lucas said simply. "I should have died a hundred times by now."
"That's right!" Robert's voice was rising now. A lab technician looked up in surprise on the other side of the room. "You've had hundreds of chances to prove yourself. You don't know what it's like, having your dad breathing down your neck the whole time."
I wish I did, Lucas though, but he let that one slide. "Robert, listen! It's not about proving yourself. I've survived this long because I'm a good soldier, but..." he wished he could have bitten off his tongue. The look on Robert's face made him feel like the lowest creature on earth.
"Are you saying I'm not a good soldier?" Robert asked quietly.
Lucas closed his eyes. Great move, Wolenczak, that's really going to make him want to give up the mission, he though. But another voice, deeper inside him, said quietly, no, Robert. You're not a soldier at all. You're a good man, and that's a thousand times better.
But he didn't say anything. He couldn't think of any words to save the situation. And long after Robert had left, having escorted him in stony silence back to the cell, he lay on his bed and replayed the scene bitterly in his head.
Well, he thought, if Bridger wants to alienate me from Robert, he couldn't have picked a better way. Damn them both! They were as stubborn and ignorant as each other, but at least Robert had an excuse: he was young, inexperienced. But how could Bridger send his only son out like this? Well, Lucas wasn't going to give up that easily.
Bridger raised his hand to knock at the door, and then stopped. What the hell are you doing? he asked himself. This is the brig, not crew quarters. If you can't tell the difference, no wonder everyone else is having trouble.
He opened the door without knocking. The prisoner stood to attention on the other side of the room. He didn't salute – Bridger had taken the precaution of having him handcuffed before he arrived. Bridger examined him from a safe distance. His son had spoken of him having changed, having become friendly towards the UEO. He couldn't see any change. The young man stood, his face devoid of emotion, back straight, eyes looking firmly forward. As Ford had said: every inch the soldier.
"Commander Wolenczak," he said evenly.
"Sir," the man replied.
"You wanted to see me?" Bridger asked.
"That's right, sir."
"Well?" Bridger raised an eyebrow expectantly.
"Sir, I respectfully request that you assign me to the mission to take the uranium mine."
Bridger didn't know what he had been expecting, but it certainly wasn't that. His eyebrows reached for the sky.
"What?! What the hell makes you think I would assign you to any mission, let alone one into your old confederation?"
If anything, the Wolenczak kid became even stiffer. "With respect, sir, I have a great deal more combat experience than the officer you have assigned to lead the mission, and I know Free Nations strategy."
"This is not a combat mission, Commander," Bridger said. Jeez, I can't believe you're even arguing with this guy. "Lieutenant Bridger has enough experience for this mission, otherwise I would have assigned another member of my own senior crew. Your assistance is not required."
"I know the Alliance of Free Nations, sir. They don't abandon territory."
Bridger stepped closer, until he was face to face with the young man. "You know very little of the circumstances in this case, Commander. You are not a member of this crew. I am the captain, and my decision is final. As for you," he looked the other man up and down searchingly, "can you honestly say that you would suffer no conflict of interests in this mission?"
Wolenczak's gaze, previously directed dead ahead, shifted to Bridger's face. Their eyes locked. "Even if I said yes, you wouldn't believe me," he said softly.
"What makes you think that?" asked Bridger.
Without speaking, the young man raised his chained hands.
Dah-da-da-daaah! da-da-da-da-da-dah-da-da-dah-dah-dah-dah-da-da-dah-dah-dah- dah-da-da-daaaah! Dah-dah-dah-daaah (dah-da-da-daaah) dah-dah-dah-daaah (dah-da-da-daaah) dah-dah-dah-daaaaaah! 20th Century Refur presents: the Reviewers! A film starring lo, sara, kas7, Pheniox-Skye, Mar, pari106, Diena and Zoe. Based on a true story.
Sigh...OK guys, I know you hate Bridger, but I'm afraid it's too late to change him now, and he's in this chapter quite a lot, so grit your teeth....
Pro Patria Mori
Chapter 15
"How dare he?!" Robert paced the floor of the narrow cell, gesticulating wildly. Lucas sat quietly on the bed and watched him.
"He thinks he can just run everyone's lives! How could he do this to you? What did you ever do to him?"
Robert reached the wall, turned, and glared angrily at Lucas. Lucas met his gaze coolly.
"I tried to steal his boat. I tried to kill his crew. I took his only child hostage," he counted off.
"That was different!" Robert exploded. "That was before! Things are different now!"
Lucas didn't drop his gaze. "If I were him," he said calmly, "I would never have let me out in the first place."
Robert shook his head. "You don't mean that."
"Yes, I do." Lucas' voice betrayed no emotion. "Your father is a soldier, Robert. He doesn't see me as a poor little orphan who's had a difficult life. He sees me as an enemy combatant, highly trained and capable of anything. And he's right."
"How can you say that?" Robert cried angrily. "You wouldn't do anything to endanger this boat!"
"If it wasn't for that bullet, we would all be dead, and this boat would be in the hands of the Alliance of Free Nations."
"But that was before! You're UEO now! You wouldn't do anything like that now?" Robert's voice was almost plaintive. Lucas didn't answer; his face was like stone.
"But you're my friend," Robert almost whispered. Lucas shrugged.
"Friendship is just a word. War is the only reality."
For a moment Robert stood, speechless. Then his face twisted in rage. "You're wrong, and my father's wrong," he said bitterly. "But he's not going to get away with it that easily." And with that, he stormed out of the cell, slamming the door shut with a clang.
Lucas watched him go, then closed his eyes and concentrated on breathing slowly. He knew what the captain wanted. He understood. And he could deal with it, could deal with being separated from the crew, from Robert, if it meant a few more precious days before the choice came. What he had said to Robert was half true: war was the only reality, and he had been hiding from reality for too long, living this charmed life. Now reality had brought him back down to earth with a crunch.
So this is it, he thought. Soon it will be time. Time to choose: pain and death, or shame and emptiness. Maybe all four. For only the second time in his life, he could see no way out. And, as before, when he had sat in a ventilation shaft waiting for the air to run out, he knew that all he could do was resign himself to his fate, and be grateful that he had survived as long as he had. But if he could stave off the final moment for a few more days, then he would.
But when the choice finally came, it was not how he had expected it.
Bridger stood up when he heard the furious knocking on his door, and drew a deep breath. Time for the storm. Just don't alienate the boy, he thought. He knew that Robert could grow to hate him over this issue, and he couldn't bear that thought. I'm doing this for your own good, Robbie, he thought sadly. I just wish you could see that.
Robert blew in like a hurricane, eyes flashing. Before he could even open his mouth, Bridger raised a hand.
"I'm glad you're here, Robert. There's something I want to discuss with you."
Robert didn't miss a beat. "Yeah, well, there's something I want to talk to you about as well," he said, and before Bridger could interrupt, he was in full flow. Bridger listened patiently as Robert accused him of everything under the sun. With every word from the boy's mouth his heart grew heavier. How did I come to be such a stranger to my own son? he wondered. Having him on seaQuest was supposed to bring us together. Instead, it seems we've never been so far apart. Well, it was time to change that. He would win his son back.
"I understand that you're fond of this man, but I am still the captain of this boat and he is still my prisoner. I am not going to negotiate the terms of his confinement with you." Robert opened his mouth, two spots of high colour showing on his cheekbones, but Bridger raised his hand again. "You've said your piece, now let me say mine. It occurs to me that you have too much free time on your hands. We're on our way to an abandoned uranium mine the UEO wants to reactivate. I want you to lead the mission."
Robert's mouth dropped open and his eyes grew round. Bridger knew that, for now at least, he had won.
The next day, Robert did not come. Lucas had expected that he would not, and yet he found himself waiting for that soft knock on the door, found himself feeling forgotten and disappointed. You've let yourself get too close to him, to all of them. He knew it was true. He shouldn't have let his emotions lead him. Now it was going to be even harder to let go.
He didn't have the energy even to work on the vocorder design. Instead, he spent most of the day lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling as the long minutes ticked by. When night finally came, he couldn't sleep. Once more he had the feeling of a giant hammer poised above, ready to come crashing down.
But the day after, Robert came. He breezed in cheerfully, as if nothing had happened. Lucas stared at him, concentrating through force of habit on keeping his confusion from showing on his face. He responded as normal when Robert chattered away to him about events on the boat, and it wasn't until they were at the moon pool, just as Lucas was screwing himself up to ask what the hell was going on, that Robert turned to him, grinning.
"Guess what?" he said.
Lucas was in no mood for games. He raised an eyebrow. Robert's grin grew wider.
"I'm going to lead a mission," he said happily.
Lucas frowned. "What mission?" he asked, surprised.
"There's this old uranium mine that the UEO wants to reactivate. I'm going to lead the mission to claim the territory it's on."
Lucas' frown deepened. "Who does the territory belong to now?" he asked, suspiciously.
Robert grin faded slightly, and he looked a little embarrassed. "The Free Nations. But," he added quickly, "they've abandoned it. There's been no sign of life in the area for weeks."
Lucas had looked up sharply when he heard the name of his confederation. Now he shook his head vehemently. "Don't go," he said.
Robert stared at him, surprised by the emotion in his tone. "What are you talking about? It'll be a piece of cake."
Lucas looked Robert straight in the eyes. "I've got a bad feeling about this, Robert. Don't go."
Robert was no longer smiling. He looked angry now. "Are you afraid you'll finally have to treat me as an equal?" he asked softly.
"What?" Now it was Lucas' turn to be surprised.
"Oh, come on! I'm almost ten years older than you Lucas! You think you're this great soldier, but you're just a child. What gives you the right to tell me not to go on this mission? You don't want to have to respect me?"
Lucas stared at him, and his eyes grew cold and hard. "You haven't listened to a word I've said to you, have you?" he said, his voice dangerously soft. "War isn't about respect. It isn't about glory, or triumph, or victory. It's about death. Whether it comes quickly or slow and painful, down in the dirt, that's all war is. Death. It's time you grew up and realised that."
Robert looked like he'd been slapped. His face grew mutinous. "Oh yeah? How come you're still alive then?"
"I've been lucky," Lucas said simply. "I should have died a hundred times by now."
"That's right!" Robert's voice was rising now. A lab technician looked up in surprise on the other side of the room. "You've had hundreds of chances to prove yourself. You don't know what it's like, having your dad breathing down your neck the whole time."
I wish I did, Lucas though, but he let that one slide. "Robert, listen! It's not about proving yourself. I've survived this long because I'm a good soldier, but..." he wished he could have bitten off his tongue. The look on Robert's face made him feel like the lowest creature on earth.
"Are you saying I'm not a good soldier?" Robert asked quietly.
Lucas closed his eyes. Great move, Wolenczak, that's really going to make him want to give up the mission, he though. But another voice, deeper inside him, said quietly, no, Robert. You're not a soldier at all. You're a good man, and that's a thousand times better.
But he didn't say anything. He couldn't think of any words to save the situation. And long after Robert had left, having escorted him in stony silence back to the cell, he lay on his bed and replayed the scene bitterly in his head.
Well, he thought, if Bridger wants to alienate me from Robert, he couldn't have picked a better way. Damn them both! They were as stubborn and ignorant as each other, but at least Robert had an excuse: he was young, inexperienced. But how could Bridger send his only son out like this? Well, Lucas wasn't going to give up that easily.
Bridger raised his hand to knock at the door, and then stopped. What the hell are you doing? he asked himself. This is the brig, not crew quarters. If you can't tell the difference, no wonder everyone else is having trouble.
He opened the door without knocking. The prisoner stood to attention on the other side of the room. He didn't salute – Bridger had taken the precaution of having him handcuffed before he arrived. Bridger examined him from a safe distance. His son had spoken of him having changed, having become friendly towards the UEO. He couldn't see any change. The young man stood, his face devoid of emotion, back straight, eyes looking firmly forward. As Ford had said: every inch the soldier.
"Commander Wolenczak," he said evenly.
"Sir," the man replied.
"You wanted to see me?" Bridger asked.
"That's right, sir."
"Well?" Bridger raised an eyebrow expectantly.
"Sir, I respectfully request that you assign me to the mission to take the uranium mine."
Bridger didn't know what he had been expecting, but it certainly wasn't that. His eyebrows reached for the sky.
"What?! What the hell makes you think I would assign you to any mission, let alone one into your old confederation?"
If anything, the Wolenczak kid became even stiffer. "With respect, sir, I have a great deal more combat experience than the officer you have assigned to lead the mission, and I know Free Nations strategy."
"This is not a combat mission, Commander," Bridger said. Jeez, I can't believe you're even arguing with this guy. "Lieutenant Bridger has enough experience for this mission, otherwise I would have assigned another member of my own senior crew. Your assistance is not required."
"I know the Alliance of Free Nations, sir. They don't abandon territory."
Bridger stepped closer, until he was face to face with the young man. "You know very little of the circumstances in this case, Commander. You are not a member of this crew. I am the captain, and my decision is final. As for you," he looked the other man up and down searchingly, "can you honestly say that you would suffer no conflict of interests in this mission?"
Wolenczak's gaze, previously directed dead ahead, shifted to Bridger's face. Their eyes locked. "Even if I said yes, you wouldn't believe me," he said softly.
"What makes you think that?" asked Bridger.
Without speaking, the young man raised his chained hands.