I was woken sometime in the very early morning by a huge crash of thunder. I screamed, like any sensible person would have done. Sitting up and rubbing frantically at my eardrums, I took a minute to take in my surroundings. Glancing at the sky that just hours ago had been flawless azure, I saw four figures sitting on clouds laughing their head off. Oh, I thought absently. Hey, look, they're sitting on clouds. For some reason, this didn't freak me out as much as it should have. One of the guys- I assumed them to be Valar- took a swig of something out of a pearly bottle, followed by a huge, bellowing, ricocheting belch. The other guys started laughing again, and the ground shook.

"Bloody men," I muttered, getting to my feet. "Och, my head. What a migraine." I reached for some Advil from my purse before realizing I didn't have any. Aw, shit. I shook my head out instead.

Something thick, wet and heavy slapped me in the face.

I growled. "Oh, no you don't! It's too early in the morning to be messing with me, bitch!" No response. I went to pull the elastic from my hair, hoping the rumpled mess would scare the offender off.

Unfortunately, my last intimidation technique had gone missing. In it's place was a thick, wet, heavy long braid of hair. Golden hair. My hair was naturally red. And just past my shoulders. And thin, for God's sake. This was not my hair. And... I looked down and nearly lost the chocolate.

I was no longer wearing the huge Cake band t-shirt and pajama pants I'd had on when I arrived. Not even close. No, I was wearing a full length, pale pink silk gown. And, I noticed, it was very thin... thin enough to make the rain plaster it to my body. A body that, even though I'd neglected my exercise routine for.. well, ever since I'd made it, was suddenly lithe. And tall. I'm five foot even- at least, I'm supposed to be- but I think I must've grown at least a full twelve inches. A small ray of hope sparkled in that I would never have to do those crunches as long as I was stuck here. Then I remembered my position and the bitterness returned.

So, I thought, great. Some perv changed me out of my perfectly fine clothes and stuck me in the most impractical gown in the world, then made it rain. Great. Just great. At least, I noticed with rebellious satisfaction, I still had my fluffy black slippers with the red anarchy symbol embroidered on the toe. At least that was something. Thank you, Hot Topic. Feeling my head to make sure I hadn't sprouted antennae as well, I did my best to cover my clinging dress and start out towards civilization. I just couldn't wait to see what had happened to my face.

The first house I came to was empty. Actually, 'house' doesn't do it justice. Mansion maybe, or palace. In any case, it was deserted. And, to my disgust, it was the only sign of civilization for as far as the eye can see.

Silently thanking my hippie mother whom had signed me up for Boy Scouts in first grade- "Gender equality", she kept repeating to the leader, "Gen wants to be prepared, too!"- I found the nearest tree, snapped off some branches and made a fire. The storm had stopped now, or rather, the Valar had run out of carbonated beverages and wandered off. I managed to catch the last one just before he disappeared.

"Excuse, me, sir," I began, my voice uncharacteristically shaky. When he didn't look up from gathering the empty bottles, I cleared my throat loudly and tried again. Mini-Mary in my head told me I sounded like a politician, but of course I ignored her. "SIR!" I screamed. "DOWN HERE!"

You know, if there's one thing I've learned, it's that when there's a small person screaming at you, it's generally hard to ignore. Babysitter's logic. So, inevitably, he turned and glared at me. I suddenly realized he could probably smash me with his little finger. Not that he was a monster or anything, but he looked pretty damn strong.

My timidity returned.

"Genevieve Taylor," he said in more of a rumble than a voice. "April 17th, 1988, wasn't it? 12 pounds 5 ounces, if memory serves me correctly."

"My mom said I was a very... ahh... healthy baby." I muttered, face burning. He chuckled, shaking the ground. "Yes, yes, healthy, and a very healthy appetite too." He turned back to his task. I waited for him to say something, but he didn't so I cut in again. "Uh... mister... um, sir... could you tell me where I could find somewhere to stay? I'm awfully wet. And cold. And uncomf-"he sighed hugely, rustling the leaves of all the nearby trees and cutting me off.

"Come here," he rumbled. "We'll get Este to look after you. I said, come here!" (I was attempting to hide behind the tree.) "But, uh, sir, wouldn't... I mean doesn't... doesn't Este live on the Isle of Este-"

"I would assume so," he said impatiently, "seeing as it's named after her and all." I swear I heard him mutter "Idiot human" under his breath, but I couldn't be sure.

"-And if that huge house-place-thingy was one of the Mansions of Varda and Manwe, isn't she kinda, uh, out of the way?" He rolled his eyes. "Did it occur to you that it might be one of the mansions of Aule? Because it was. And I suppose you could stay there if you want, but Yavanna's out of town replanting something or other and Aule can't cook, and- well, I think it'd be better if you just stayed with Este." He took a breath and continued, pointing at a small lake in the distance, in the middle of which I could just barely make out an island. "That's the Isle of Este. It's a three day walk down the mountain-"

Mountain? Not good. I'm afraid of heights. -Mountain?- Shrieked the Mary-Sue.

Then I realized I was standing on one.

Inadvertently, I clutched his shirt. He looked down in mild surprise, then detached me with a flick of his thumb. I fell in a heap on the ground, squeezing my eyes shut and willing myself not to think of where I was. I grabbed onto a rock, whispering prayers pleading for my safety. Maybe not even so much safety as sanity. As if I weren't messed-up enough already.

"I'm getting tired of this," Mr. Valar growled. "Who are you to impugn on my fear?" I cried theatrically. Life's a stage, after all. I felt a rough hand at the back of my gown. The next thing I knew I was on my feet, facing him. "Well, Miss Porky-Baby-Genevieve, it just so happens that my name is Manwe. King of the Valar, if you're familiar with the phrase."

We faced each other, him scowling, me staring wide-eyed.

"M-Manwe?" I squeaked. He just kept scowling. "I'm sorry, I didn't know..." I had a sudden urge to grovel at his feet. Instead I kept staring, which I knew was rude, but I couldn't help myself. For some reason I could only guess, he suddenly smiled. "Yes, let's get you to Este's," he said almost gleefully. "We might as well make it fast." He turned his face upward and whistled shrilly.

Almost immediately, a small fluffy cloud game zooming towards at breakneck speed. I ducked and covered my head, but Manwe caught it skillfully and held it in both hands. It struggled, but the little piece of fluff was more than outmatched by the King of the Valar. He looked at me expectantly. "Well?" he said. "are you going or not?"

I couldn't feel my legs. What did he expect me to do, ride that thing down the mountain? I'd sooner try and sprout wings and get there myself. "Umm, I'm sorry, Mr. Manwe sir, but I'm afraid of heights an-"Too late. His hand was back at the neck of the gown and before I realized what was happening I was laying face down on the cloud. –You freak!- Mary Sue screamed at me. –Due to the fact that the cumulonimbus cloud is, like all clouds, insubstantial, and you are nowhere near a desirable body mass index—Mentally, I slapped duct tape across her mouth.

She had a point, though. Even with the new wonder-woman body, there was no way I should be able to sit on a cloud. Clouds weren't even supposed to be this shape and size. Or enter the lithosphere. Or stratosphere. Or whatever the hell sphere it was. Anyway, I shouldn't be here. It had an aura of nostalgia around it, as though it were a favorite Barbie when I was younger. Stupid Barbie, she got more guys then I did. I burned all of mine when I was twelve. Oh, crap, mind wandering again. I dismissed it as an experience form another life. Hippie Mom's logic again.

It took me a moment to realize I was moving. Face still buried in the pale folds of the cloud-steed, I was semi-oblivious to the world- or rather, air- around me. Once I had lifted my head, I wished I hadn't. I was torn between clutching my stomach and holding on for dear life. I chose the ladder.

A/N: That took a long time, didn't it? Oh well. Feast your eyes and enjoy - It's the end of the school year for me, so give me a week or two and I'll be posting more regularly. Look forward to some action in the next chapter (and some new characters!) -MA