Letters 7

Willow sat in the library bored as usual, it never normally got her nerves but today it did. It was a bind to have to sit there and research the latest creature feature when she wanted to be at home anxiously awaiting the post, there had been a letter for her last week from Spike outlining what he was doing to find Drusilla, he thought he was pretty close and she had written back telling him all about her new teaching position within the school, Principal Snyder had put it on her official record that she was substitute teacher for computer studies, plus she had been accepted into Oxford, she hoped Spike would be pleased for her. Plus she'd had to tell him that Xander had accepted a date for the Prom from that Anya girl who had turned out to be a demon. She still didn't trust her and Cordelia had reverted back to her nasty bullying form and was trying to make Willow's life hell again. She hoped to hear from him soon it was months since they had started writing back and forth to each other and she could recall a time when she had been happier. He was like a best friend, his viewpoint and advice something that she had grown to love and depend upon.

She was looking forward to this letter; she could do with the cheering up, especially today since...

The door to the library swung open and they all looked at each other. They were all here and no students of Sunnydale High actually knew where the library was so they were all wary and curious. It was a teenager dressed in an ill fitting blue overall.

"Uh hey, I'm looking for a," he squinted at a piece of paper "Willow Rosenberg?"

They all looked at Willow

"Me?" she stood up. The boy sighed, relieved.

"Oh thank you, man I thought it was a joke when I got this at the depot, I mean it was like addressed to the Sunnydale High school library at night, we figured someone was joking with us." He stood in the doorway and picked up a big package. "Here ya go, sign here."

Willow signed the slip of paper and took the bulky box, it was huge, almost the size of her body. She staggered with it over to the desk and dropped it.

"Who would be sending you a package here?" Giles frowned "It might be best not to open it just yet."

"Relax." said Cordelia who had dropped in to flirt with Wesley "Like Willow is important enough to get bomb by mail."

Willow scowled at her.

"Who's it from?" Buffy wanted to know.

Willow picked up the nearest knife and dug it under the flap, prying the box open. There were hundreds of those little polystyrene hoops that cushion things during travel and Willow apprehensively dug her hands in until they touched something hard and rough. She grasped it and pulled. She pulled it out and looked at it oddly, it was a large papier-mâché doll with long brown hair and short skirt, and it rattled when she picked it up. There was an envelope attached to its low cut chest. Willow torn it off and opened it.

Pet

This remind you of anyone?? Now you can bash her as much as you want. Happy Birthday love.

S.

A grin broke through Willow's lips

"It's a piñata." She laughed

"There's sweets in there?" Xander perked up and Giles rolled his eyes.

"A human Piñata?" Buffy grinned "That's new, who's it from?"

"It's from a friend who's currently in Brazil." Willow giggled; trust Spike to send her something like this, a way to beat either Cordelia or Anya up without actually touching them. It was inspired. He must have been thinking about it when he was in Mexico, she was flattered. She wondered what he had put inside, maybe all red sweets so it looked like Guts when it spilled. She chuckled again.

"What does the letter say?" Buffy asked curiously.

"Just, hope you like it, Happy birthday." Willow lied smoothly.

"Your birthday?" Wesley started "Today?"

"No tomorrow." Willow smiled, "I guess he sent it early."

"He?" Buffy questioned with a raised eyebrow but it was forgotten as the door to the library opened again and Angel walked in.

"Hi." he said moodily

"Hey." Buffy replied just as awkwardly

Willow ignored them and picked up her new toy.

"What's that?"

Angel asked with a frown.

"Piñata full of chocolaty goodness that Willow might share tomorrow at her mmpgh." Xander suddenly had Buffy's hand over his mouth and Willow wanted to roll her eyes, like she didn't already know about her surprise party. Buffy may be the Slayer but as an organiser she wasn't any good at surprises.

Angel came closer "It smells familiar." He frowned

"You spend a lot of time in Mexico?" Willow hurriedly out the doll back in the box hoping Angel couldn't distinguish Spike's scent from her present.

"Yeah I guess." Angel turned back to the guys "So what are we doing here?"

Willow had to get Buffy to carry the heavy box back to her house; it was just too much for her. She loved the fact that Spike had sent it to the school to cheer her up when she needed it. She wasn't planning on talking it to the party tomorrow, she was gong to keep it until Cordelia or Anya really annoyed her and then she was going to bash it! She fell asleep that night with a huge grin on her face.

The next morning dawned with the typical bright sun that California was graced to receive and with it a very happy Willow. She sprung out of bed and quickly showered ready for the day. When she got downstairs there was the usual pile of mail in the floor but no letter. She smile fell and she resumed the rest of her morning ritual with less of a bounce in her step. Just as she was about to leave for school there was a knock at the door and she opened it to reveal the postman.

"Hello Miss, I got a letter here for you, it was too big to fit through the letter box so I figured I'd come back when you were awake."

"Thanks." The grin returned full force to Willow's face as she took it and saw the lettering on the front.

It was a huge insulated envelope and she heard jingling as she tore it open. She tipped it up and something cold and heavy fell into her palm. It was a necklace, an ornate silver choker with red gems set in a swirling pattern it was exquisite and looked expensive.

Willow beamed as she opened the letter.

Red.

Hey pet, hope you like the necklace, it was something I was given years ago by my grandmother, I thought it would suit you more than it does me.

I had to send the Piñata to your school, wanted to cheer you up pet, you sounded so down in your last letter. Sorry I've not heard much about this ascension but from what I can gather it's a big party…a dangerous party with a load of demons. Be careful okay pet? I'd hate for anything to happen to my only friend in the world.

In your last letter you said I could tell you anything so here goes.

It's been a few weeks since I've found Drusilla. She's still currently tied to that pole in the basement ready for her next punishment, I'm wearing her down, I can see it in her eyes. Normally they just look blank but when I'm hurting her she seems to come alive, she's really a product of her daddies teaching. I know you said I can even tell you the violent things of my relationship as long as I don't go into too much detail, so I'll try to keep it short and sweet. Angelus used to torture her, and when he didn't he'd ignore her. She grew to love the torture because that was the only time he ever paid attention to her. Now me, I hate doing that to her= for all I'm a demon, pain and pleasure I'm all for but pain without the end satisfaction isn't up for much in my world. But I can see it in Dru's eyes, she loves the pain but when I try to make it better for her, she gives me this half confused and half disgusted look. I can't stand it so I leave without making her happy. That just seems to reinforce what Angelus does. But yesterday I think she broke. I used whips and holy water by the end she was screaming the same way she'd done for Angelus and god Red it made me feel sick, which pleased her. I let her down and she crawled towards me. I know I wanted to make her crawl but dammit, I wanted her to crawl for me not because I gave her what Angelus had. It's just so bloody hard knowing that even when I give her what she wants the only one she's thinking of is him. But the thing is Red, and I don't know what to think of this, I'm not sure it matters so much anymore. Before it would have ripped me apart but now it's more of an annoyance.

What does that even mean? I've been with her forever, or at least a century and I thought I'd be with her forever. I don't understand. So I tied her back to the pole and went out for a drink. So here I am sitting in this demon bar, hoping for a bit of violence and pouring my undead heart out to my pen pal. Actually I don't even know if I'll send this letter I sound like such a ponce. I'll probably just throw this one out and write you a nice one full of how are you and everything's great. Except I can't seem to lie to you, pet. Dammit Red I wish you were here.

Spike.

Willow put the letter down, her heart beating fast and her breath catching. Spike sounded so sad and so alone. She wanted to be with him as much as he seemingly wanted her there. It sounded like he was falling out of love with Drusilla. That in itself was scary, but he had been so confused by it.

Willow looked up at the clock; it was almost time for school. She stared back at the letter and then slowly, deliberately put her bag down and walked to her room and her writing desk.

Spike,

First of all thanks for the necklace and Piñata, the first is so beautiful and I think I know where to wear it and the second made me laugh. I needed that. This week has been so much better, we almost feel like a team again.

Thanks you for sending me that letter, I like to think we have a friendship based on trust and you trusted me enough to tell me what is going on and that means more to me than you will ever know. I'm sorry Spike, so sorry. I don't pity you but I feel bad for what you are going through, sort of like sympathy pains. I think you need to think long and hard about why you are trying so hard with Drusilla, are you just clinging to the past and wont let go because she's familiar? I won't call you afraid because I know you are the big bad and aren't afraid of anything but fear of the new and letting go is one reason why some relationships turn out so bad and drag for so long. All you end up doing is hating yourself and the person you are with. I don't want that for you Spike; please don't hold to something that is over. If what she wants is something that you'd hate to be, then don't mould yourself for her, no one is worth making you into something you detest.

Don't be mad at me for suggesting that, I really miss you and wish I could be there with you even if it is just for support.

Sorry this letter is so short but I will send another soon.

In the mean time take care and think about what I said.

Willow.

She was surprised to find herself crying at the thought of what Spike was going through right now. Willow capped her pen and folded the letter, hoping she could catch the post before it left.